Should I be trying to get a girlfriend?

>>18580177
Answer this easy question:
>what do i want from my life?
And if you need gf in order to do that, then yes. Otherwise no.

As far as dating goes, meet ladies bith offline and online and ask for their phone numbers and later ask them on dates. Treat them as people, smile and ask for netflix and chill. With enough practice you will get hang of it.

>>18580312

I think I would do okay if I could actually get to the point of going on dates but I have not met a dateable woman in a long time. By dateable I mean things like lives near me or closeish, no kids, isn't obese or extremely unhealthy. I don't think I am asking for much am i?

>>18580177
>I did like one girl for awhile. I even got to go out with her but she friend zoned me. I still think about her every day. That was like 2 years ago. There hasn't been a day I have not thought about her. I wonder every day what I did to fuck up and I may never know. Probably will go to my grave thinking about that.

You have the emotional life of a teenager. To use words like "friend zoned" to describe being a pitiful beta orbiter who can't accept rejection and have such a severe case of oneitis that you literally obsess about the same girl for years, a girl who doesn't give a fuck about you, is truly pathetic. Nobody is that special. NOBODY. The "beauty" this girl possesses, the "love" you felt for her, and the "love" you hoped she would reciprocate are all completely ephemeral. She will grow older and her beauty will fade. Her love for you, if she were ever to develop such feelings, would likely fade and your hypothetical relationship could very well have ended in divorce. Hopefully, your feelings for this dime-a-dozen girl will fade over time, allowing you to move the fuck on with your life. It is crucial that you understand the impermanence of all things. Then you will understand that something as trivial as the female sex shouldn't be the main focus of your life. Impermanence puts everything in perspective. You can pursue a relationship if you wish, but don't become overly attached. Above all, understand there is no such thing as "the one".

>>18580521

So what do I do? I understand impermanence but what the fuck do I do about it? How do I manage the feelings that I feel in regard to that woman? I have yet to meet another girl like her. I am convinced I will never meet another woman like her and I have my eyes wide the fuck open.

>>18580417
if you're a virgin I'd say drop your standards and date some of these "undateables" for experience and build your confidence.

>>18580864

I don't think dating a obese woman or a woman who has like 5 kids by age 22 is going to boost confidence.

>>18580521
"Stop feeling the way you feel", fantastic advice.

Op here. What causes extreme oneitis like I am experiencing anyway? I honestly feel like a infatuated maniac. I just can't let go of this woman. I feel so attracted to her and I get she doesn't like me probably but a part of me stays latched to her. I hope one day she will just call me to see how I am doing. Deep down, I know she won't and yet I still hope. Why?

>>18580975
How did you break it off with her? Did she straight out say that she wasn't interested, or did she pull the "let's just be friends" crap?

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>>18580975

You're stuck in the past. Try branching out. Do new things, go to new places, and meet new women. It sounds like a big obstacle, because it is. You haven't got over the girl because you haven't done anything to put distance between when you asked her out and now. That entire time you've been obsessing over her, so of course you'd still feel the same. But that's ok man, everyone makes mistakes.

All these things I suggested are broad and can't be done overnight. Including getting over that girl. You do it little by little. 1 percent a day or week if that's what it takes.

I'm trying to get over a girl I got rejected by last week and I don't know if I'll be truly over her in a year. I might just have to live with having fallen for her, and put that away someplace in my heart. Might just have to not see her for a long time, or never again.

Ghosting her is the best thing you can do. She won't care about it (or nearly as much as you do). Feeding these emotions you have is a very harmful and self-destructive thing to do.

>>18581018
Op here. She told me she wanted to take things slow and then ghosted me. I feel like shit about it because in my eyes she was perfect. I honestly believe I would just be settling if I found a different woman. I honestly wish I could have my memories of her lobitomized out of my skull. My mind is too persistent to forget about her.

>>18581059
Yeah. I'm in pretty much the same situation now, and I can tell you that it isn't the girl in and of herself that has you bound up, it's the fact that there wasn't a clean cut. Saying things like "lets take it slow" and "lets be friends" seems nice, but all it does is leave a nugget of false hope. That nugget is what's eating at you. I know that it's been a while, so you probably can only do what >>18581018 says, but next time (or if you can contact the girl in question, which I'm not sure I would recommend) try to give the girl the most secure and comfortable opportunity to tell you the truth. Fortify yourself by having the truth be your only goal, whether it be that a girl really is into you or that she thinks you're a creep. Whatever you do, get her to say it clearly. Don't be an asshole about it, just be honest and earnest.

Granted that it doesn't always work, because some girls (people in general) are deathly afraid of telling the truth. The girl I was dealing with (I still see her on a regular basis and it tears my heart up) was like this. I gave her every chance to say she wasn't interested in me. I was even playful and nonchalant about it, but she wouldn't. She still smiles at me and giggles at my jokes and displays her little mannerisms as if she were interested, but she isn't into me. And here I am still feeling as you do; like shit. So the lesson is to let the truth be your guide and to encourage that in others, but don't expect much or anything. Such is life.

If you feel that you want to experience a relationship then I would say go for it.

I was once in a position you are in and one thing that is very easy to do when you want intimacy is become desperate. Before you try and meet people become more disciplined so you won't come off as desperate.

Depending on where you live meeting people can be easy or hard. Just try to be as social as possible. Be yourself and don't be afraid of rejection. Definitely don't go on Craig's list or tinder to try to meet people. Find events or meet ups for your hobbies, look for local festivals etc. Even trying to start conversations with cashiers or random people you interact with during the day.

>>18580830
Judging by your current position, you are yet to meet another girl to begin with.

The thing you have to do is realize that there are a lot of special and lovely people out there, all in their own unique way, and all of them can create an impression on you that no one else will be able to replicate.
The only thing you can do next is take your past as a learning lesson, and try to enjoy the impermanent company of those special to you to the fullest of your capability.

>>18580177
getting a gf isnt fluid or seamless for most, as a man it is your job to make the first move which is always awkward. you are hiding behind a fear of rejection and projecting it as a lack of interest. i know because ive recently come to realise this myself. rejection only makes you stronger and more experienced, you will evolve into chad one day.

>>18581059
is your name Edvard?
this sound like a guy I know, which I friendzoned...

>>18582465
No, my name is Vladimir Laplace.
Proud prince of the Belgians.

>>18582487
sad, i thought I found my love ;(

>>18580177
>Go to places where you might meet girls.
>Get to know everyone, not just girls you're interested in; starting to talk to someone with the intent of starting a relationship/pulling is way too much pressure, especially if you don't have any experience
>Once you find a girl who you get on with and has a good personality (looks are important for attraction, but the lower your standards, the higher your threshold for success), ask her out.
Its not so hard.

Also if she fucked you about and wasn't straight with you, she isn't "perfect"

>>18580177
"I want a glass of water. Should I go get one, or just wait for one to come to me?"

>>18580864
Don't give fatties validation

>>18580177
>Getting a girlfriend should be fluid and seemless. Whatever the fuck that means.

It means you should be meeting people and being interested in some of them. In reality it's not that easy or straightforward, but you are stuttering with something from 2 years ago. So yeah, it could be more "fluid".

Simple questions: Do you meet people? Do you set up activities with them? Do you invite people unto your life?

>>18582544
Except the glasses of water are sapient and want someone to drink them.