what to do when therapy doesnt work?

what sort of therapy was it?

>>18579856
psychotherapy

>>18579873
but what for? need moar info. otherwise answer is just "try something else".

>>18579948
i have been in and out of therapy since i was 8 years old, now im 25
i have anxiety issues and anger issues because my parents where abusive and neglectful to the point that my mom abandoned me and my dad was physically violent
i have done nothing with my life since highschool, just finishing highschool took me an extra 4 years because i droppd out the last year and i kept trying to finish but droping out due to anxiety
i tried art school and college and dropped out of both, i tried working in different thing couldnt hadle it either it was hell
whenever something bad happens i just spiral out of control i guess
i have weight issues, i eat to cope, i have terrible self steem, i obsess over the tim i lost and the time i had tolen, i can become angry to the point i have to go to sleep because i cant stand to be awake just by thinking about thhings i hate, i have fantasies of hurting bad people all the time, i have barely any peple in my life, i think i legit spent an entire year without talking to anyone once

>>18579974
have you ever tried any sort of "express your anger" activities? for example, rather than going to sleep, have access to a punching bag and let yourself think about it until you're too tired to punch anymore. that sort of deal.

what about the psychotherapy *did* work, if anything?

you still in contact with your parents? what's your current living situation?

how do you spend your time? any hobbies or anything you enjoy doing?

>>18579842

tried immersion therapy or wilderness?

>>18579842
The effectiveness of therapy is largely on you. It's not a magic cure-all. It's supposed to help you fix yourself. If you fight the process/don't want to do the work to get better/expect someone else to fix you, it will not work.

>>18579988
i draw so that maybe?
oh, no when im that mad there is nothing i can do about it
>what about the psychotherapy *did* work, if anything?
nothing ever worked long run
>you still in contact with your parents? what's your current living situation?
they give me money but we dont see each other
>how do you spend your time? any hobbies or anything you enjoy doing?
i like cooking, im very good at it.
>>18579990
i have no idea what tht means, i live in a city
>>18580008
therapy doesnt work for me because i have very low empathy
if the point of therapy is helping me see things from another perspective then it will never work for me as im too self centered and i dont take anything at face value

did you tried wild sex

>>18580020
the point isn't to make you stop being mad asap. actually kinda the opposite. the point of punching bag type cathartic shit is to let yourself be mad and stay mad until your anger runs out of energy or the rest of you gets bored. going to sleep is good short term strategy but not so good long term if the goal is to try and eventually get over it and leave it behind so you can move on with your life unfettered by the events of your past. do you ever let yourself think about the turbulent shit? ever talk about it?

>>18580020
Yeah, like I said, you're fighting the process.

That, or as you seem to believe, you're incapable of changing. In which case, stop wasting your money on therapy; You'll forever be stuck being a miserable, self-centered asshole. Just accept it and move on.

>>18580020

>>18580020

Wilderness therapy programs are where you go on a long nature hike over the course of multiple weeks. So you're in the boonies for a long time without any connections to society. Word of caution, there are some terrible, absolutely horrible wilderness programs out there where parents who don't want to be parents send their degenerate kids to be abused and indoctrinated in the middle of nowhere. BUT I've heard great things about Anasazi. It's can be an arduous and tiring experience, but it's that kind of challenging experience which can really change the flow of your life. It's very very important to have a follow-up plan for when you return home. If you just put yourself back into the same conditions without any intention to improve those conditions then of course you'll fall back into the same suffering. Don't worry about it being difficult, putting yourself through it will be a lot less difficult than continuing a life of suffering.

>>18580032
>until your anger runs out of energy
that wont happen because then i get mad at something else
>do you ever let yourself think about the turbulent shit?
that can make me instantly furious, my extended family cant mention my parents infront of me, i get out of control
>ever talk about it?
no, when i talk about i i go on and on and on and people get tired of it so i try not to
>>18580034
i really tried but it was mostly lying to myself
as soon s therapy ended i reverted back and realized i wasnt any better when trying what th doctor told me
>>18580037
that sounds expensive plus there isnt any wilderness here

>>18580044
>that wont happen because then i get mad at something else
i know it seems that way and it may take a good long while and keep ramping back up but eventually you finally will run out of steam. and you'll be exhausted
>that can make me instantly furious, my extended family cant mention my parents infront of me, i get out of control
that's what the punching bag type stuff aims to help with. let yourself think about it in a controlled setting where you can lose your temper without causing any injury or damage. then you come back later and do it again. and again. and again. and again. the intensity will lessen. you'll get to a point where you can hear mention of your parents without going nuts. you'll get to another point later where your only reaction will be your pulse starts racing a bit but you can breathe your way out of it in under a minute. it's a pain in the ass, yeah, but it works. the empathy thing won't matter enough to get in the way
>no, when i talk about i i go on and on and on and people get tired of it so i try not to
it's good to do. gets it out of your system.

>>18580093
ok but i dont have space for a punching bag on my tiny apartment
plus im more concerned about my anxiety because i cant do anything, whenever i try to study im too aware tht im older than anyone there and have acomplished half as much as them and i feel like everyone can tell i shouldnt be there, same with working, to be fair i only ever got things through nepotism and i was awful there, i cpnstantly felt judged by everyone

>>18580102
punching bag is just an example. could get the same effect wailing on a tree with a sturdy branch, or tossing stones up into the air and whacking them away with a stick like cricket or baseball (work gloves and eye protection as applicable if you're gonna innawoods it). playing drums, shredding, singing, etc do it for some folks; if you're musically inclined and can be loud somewhere that's another option. stacking up a bunch of pillows and punching those can even do it, just mind whatever's behind them so you don't end up breaking a knuckle because your fist glanced off a hard furniture frame or something.

anxiety. right then, for the school bit: remind yourself as often as necessary that you have as much right to be there as anybody else has. for the accomplishments as compared to others your age: well did the folks you're comparing yourself to have an upbringing like yours? because if they didn't it's not really a very fair comparison. besides who knows why you're there? maybe you had started on a different career path and changed your mind and now you've gone back to school to try something else. maybe you started working as soon as you could and now that you can afford more schooling you're back in school again. maybe you got in a car accident and school got delayed for a few years while you were busy getting out of hospital and learning how to walk again. there's all sorts of reasons why people go to school later than their peers. and most of your classmates are too wrapped up in their own concerns to bother worrying about what you're doing anyway. if one or two actually are silently judging you from across the room....well so what? what harm can that actually do?? really? the "worst case scenario" that we're so often afraid of usually tends to not be all that bad when you really sit down and look at it closely. lastly for working, nepotism, etc: understandable, esp given your background. the more you earn on your own merits, the happier you'll be.

>>18580337
>remind yourself as often as necessary that you have as much right to be there as anybody else has
doesnt work, when im there i enter panick mode
i dont even know, last time classes had over 60 people
worst part is in recess because there are so many people there and they form groups and talk with each othr and im there akwardly alone
i tried talking with the only person there who adressed me and it was really akward and i ended up regretting it, guy thought i was a loser

>>18580426
what did you talk about? sometimes it can help to know what you want to say beforehand. how about practicing talking with people elsewhere? would that be something you'd be willing to try?

>>18580496
im good at talkking to people
just not when im alone in a room with 60 strangers i know nothing bout and im already stressed to hell
maybe i should have gotten drunk before going

>>18579974
Have you tried smoking weed?

>>18580522
fucking kek i don't know if getting drunk before school is the best approach m8. just saying

do you want to be going to school? are you there because you want to be or because reasons?

>>18579974
you need friends. company. find people who are like you.

>>18580534
actually i did
it didnt really do anything for me beyond making me smell like shit and a friend of a friend thought i was gay for some reason
>>18580541
well i could try taking mind destroying pills again but i dont particularly enjoy being a zombie mom
maybe i cant handle anxiety because i was taking anxiety medication since i was 8 years old until two years ago

>>18580545
i have one friend left, used to have to, ne is and has lways been unberable so i dont speak with him anymore
i tried making friends, i tried going out of my way to meet them and hangh out, i tried being positive and funny and keeping my mouth shut instead of complaning
none of those things where me, sure they liked me but i just stopped talking to them and i never regretted it, i didnt care about a single one of them
real friends dont try to be an inconvinience to me