Whenever we're together, we don't know what to talk about!

I have another side issue. I've known her for many years before I've dated her. And I've been struggling to find even her interests let alone sharing hers with mine. Is it possible that she doesn't really like much? This concerns me too because after the honeymoon phase there's it's all about interests, and I hardly know any of hers! Thanks again!

>>18579703
Make up for it with physical interaction like cuddling of making out.

Also, text less. That way you don't run out of shit to talk about. That was my big problem.

That sounds a lot like my ex of three and a half years. The first time we met, we connected and there was chemistry, but she was also shy so that lent itself to some (frequent) silences in our conversations. Over time though, we grew very used to it, and I eventually came to expect times that we would just be quiet around each other but still enjoy each other's presence. There wasn't really a need for constant small talk, and I really appreciated it. I habitually internalize like 90% of my thoughts, though, and this became a problem, since there would be times where she really needed me to talk to her but I just didn't vocalize anything at all and had nothing to say. This kinda hurt her sometimes because she felt too much pressure to always be the one talking. I guess my point is that it's important to strike a balance when communicating with someone. Texting a lot can be a bad idea early in relationships because when you're actually with the other person you have little left to talk about. On the other hand, once the relationship progresses enough, you kind of lose that necessity of always talking about something. Rather it becomes more about communicating important imformation to your partner so that they understand what's going on in your life to make sure you're always on the same page.

tldr; communication is essential but balance is also key

On the topic of not knowing her interests: have you tried simply askin her? Again, communication.

>>18579993
>>18579810
Thanks a bunch you guys for the comments

>>18579993

What if i already crossed that bridge? We texted a whole frickn bunch over the phone. I think I fixed it a bit nowadays cuz I mostly reserve important stuff till when I call her.


I did ask her, she told me she doesn't know what she's really into (sounds crazy, ik). Thats what I meant when I asked that if it was possible that she really doesn't like much.

>>18579703
Being comfortable in silence with each other is nice.

I spoke to one girl for a while and met for a date.
We knew each other intimately already and we basically spent most of the time wrapped up together in the corner with bits of silence that just felt super comfortable cos we were cuddling up.

It'll sound dumb but girls can pick up how you're feeling. If you're relaxed they'll feel it and go loose themselves.

Bumping because I'm kind of in the same situation.
But it seems like from the other posts that it's normal in some people.

>>18579703
there are two ideas I would like to try (first I need person to talk with, theoretical modeling of meeting people only goes so far, but my thoughts on this have been extensively covered so they should help you ...)

One is to just listen. Let one person do the talking, a lot of it, preferably on a diverse range of topics in hopes you can find something. Family stories are an interesting way to go, but can be too personal for some earlier on. I find people start looking for deeper thing too early, and miss smaller starting points like the the weather or city traffic which can lead to deeper things like a shared interest in the anime éX-Driver or something.

The second is to create shared experiences. Go do something with her (I am not suggesting sex here). Things like movies and books are good because you now both have an event you can talk about as a starting point. I think you will get more interesting results if you do something neither of you are familiar with, as it puts you on more equal footing and who knows what you will find.

>>18581304
I like the second one but i think part of the problem is just she doesnt carry a conversation. Its really hard for me to get her to do that and normally half the reason why we sit in silence is becauss im waiting for her to say something. I think it is improving though. Maybe were just getting used to us on an intimate level?