GIOYC

>>18579346
I want to break up with the love of my life to fuck other, hotter, girls for a few years and then get back with her. I don't want her to be with other guys while I'm gone. I'm such a shitty person.

Hell yeah, falling in love again, with my best female friend, no way i can have her tho.

>>18579362
For the love of god, just don't cheat on her.

I use to think I'm angry because I lost my dad, then because I lost my gf, then because this or because that, but I've stopped caring about all these things so why am I still so FUCKING ANGRY

Every fucking day I live is another day I suffer, but I'm too much of a coward to end it all right then and there.

Pretty much nothing is going right in my life, and everything I enjoyed is slowly dissipating, be it my job's rights and once-solid hours or my family just dying off/disowning me.

Every day makes me more and more bitter and I struggle on to live the life I must live. I hate my job, I hate how much responsibility I'm wracked with, I hate all of my coworkers, I'm starting to reawaken an aspect I thought was gone long ago. I thought it dissipated when I got this job and basically excelled in it for that brief moment, but no, my wrath is reawakened. I shouldn't even be feeling this, but I am, and it worries me deeply.

I wish I had a friend or some family to help me from this pit of despair that I'm slowly sinking into. But hey, I have practically no one that cares enough to help me, so whatever. I anticipate death at this point and don't mind when I get it.

>>18579362

i did this in a way, pushed my gf away until she broke up with me

it's really not worth it

don't make the same mistake as me amigo, unless you're really done with her

>>18579410
Why did you push her away in the first place?

>>18579386
Maybe you just don't smile enough, try to smile for 10 seconds even if you feel like a dumb ass.

>>18579439
Right, you need to wisen the fuck up mate

>>18579437

cause like the other guy, i wanted to bang other girls but I was too much of a pussy to just break up with her

I can't work a normal job. I don't get along with people for periods over a few hours.

This hurts too much. I don't know how to act. I love you so much but I think I can't do this anymore. You make me so happy though.

>>18579447
But have you tried or not man? It's just ten fucking seconds. Write results.

>>18579454
Felt sad

>>18579460
Jesus man.
Hey, at least is not angry. Now you get to choose between angry or sad, ain't much, but it's an improvement. You know, like expanding your catalog of feelings or something,

>>18579470
Top quality shit, how about you expand yourself out of this fucking thread before you help more people ye mate?

If I kill myself it will be your fault.

I make dumbass jokes share shitty memes and make fun of myself so that I can be relevant and be the one to get ripped on for some reason that registers as right in my brain

>>18579475
It's better than nothing.

>>18579486
If you're who I think you are, you barely even meme.

It is I who memes the hardest, for I know the whole All-Star song from front to back.

>>18579487
Mate, I'm still fucking angry, it was literally fucking nothing. Fuck, I need some drugs

>>18579488
Dude I have no idea what you're talking about my memes are just shitty that I get ripped on for

>>18579496
Have you tried hugging a tree?

>>18579499
Yeah but I couldn't quite get my hands aroun oh wait shit no that was your mum

>>18579502
Then try a tree instead. For real.

>>18579507
You're really not helping mate but you sure can take abuse

>>18579374
Why not?

>>18579513
Mom jokes are not that of a big deal really.
I use to be the best angry person in the world. I broke all kinds of shit when I was angry and made spectacular scenes and provoked lots of crying, it kind of faded away over time. It could have stayed, but it was easier to try to work around it.

>>18579532
Fuck, you're really not helpful

I care deeply about my best friend. He's helped me push myself and have confidence. But over the years I've been in love with him while he was in a relationship. He made a move on me and I let myself cause I loved him. I felt guilty for what I did but I was mostly hurt that he kept doing those things just out of sexual frustration. I made myself believe he really did feel the same way since he said he did. But he hasn't proven that and now I'm so fucked up mentally and emotionally cause this guy lead me on for years. I still want to remain friends but I really hope he can see the damage he did to me.

>>18579520
she already has a relation with my best friend, but since she is the only girl i actually know...

If my bf keeps lying to me, does he actually love me?

>>18579583
Not really

>>18579583

Does he lie to protect you or to deceive you? If first, he might love you, but he's a cunt. If the latter, he's just a cunt. Whether you're willing to date a cunt or not is up to you.

Since that event happened in June I had planned out killing myself on yesterday's date. I gathered everything I needed and was ready to go, but at the last minute I thought about how you would react to my death and I pussed out. I really hope I don't regret it, but I get the feeling I will once you get back next week.

This week is terrible, I can't stop thinking about what is going on and I just alternate between moping in bed for hours and browsing the net. I haven't slept since Sunday, but I guess being in this state is preferable to hurting you. I hope you aren't too pissed, but then again you will never find out. I just want this week to be over.

>>18579619
Fuck, I really would like to know what happened in June.

I'm not good enough eh? So you chose that piece of absolute filth. I pity you.

I made a pen and paper dungeon crawling game in highschool to play solo in order to get through my classes.

I'm bored out of my fucking mind no matter what I do.

>>18579626
If you are them you would already know what it is. If you are them your initial starts with a H.

Sorry anon, I don't want to talk about it I am just providing myself some catharsis.

I don't know what I am doing
Sorry.
I don't know what I was doing

>>18579346
I'm seriously considering using marijuana as a substitute for my psychologist. She will never be able to help me with the fact that when my wife has her period she becomes a total monster that must be stopped.

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I should get a better sleep schedule
I should work out, lose weight
Nothing feels like fun, I get stressed and anxious when I have to go there or do something, even basic shit like go shopping, go to work, to class, visit someone. But when I get there I feel fine.

working out is boring and tedious, fuck everyone who gets the runner's high, or feels good after lifting weight. I sure as fuck don't. I slogged through a year of working out. I lost some weight, but was miserable for the whole duration nontheless. I'd rather be learning new stuff or occupying myself with entertainment.

I don't think I'm depressed. People say depression is worse. I can't remember the last time I was genuinly happy. Cynical, apathetic asshole.

Fuck happy people too and fuck my brain or whatever. Just let me rot in my room i dont care

>>18579698
Honestly, go for it. It's the only thing to really stop the pain of life and shit.

Just don't mix it with other drugs. Otherwise, weed is a worthy investment.

i helped my ex girlfriend cheat on her new boyfriend for 5 months and now i want to kill myself because i'm still in love with her and everything is a nightmare and the paranoia is killing me

Pretty sure I'm going to abandon my house, wife, and kid and just walk away from everything and everyone, and just let whatever comes next happen to me. Stick my thumb out, hitch a ride west, and just see where life takes me until I die. I fucking hate my day to day life and feel mostly dead inside already, and every time I step outside I hope for a disaster to kill me or ruin my life in a major way, because at least that would be a change.

Thing is, my life is fairly typical and comfortable, and it would be the easiest thing in the world to just not do anything and keep going the way I am, except for the fact that I'm fucking miserable and always dreaming about faking my own death to get away.

Saw a girl in my dream lady night, someone I know but I can't for the life of me remember. But for a moment, even if only in my dream I was care free, all there was was this girl, shortly before I woke up, we were in bed just cuddling. Holly shit it was nice well it lasted. Now I just feel empty

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I give up. I have to. I must.
It has been half a year since we broke up. Since you left because you wanted to get things in order. I have been trying to deal with this all. I tried to respond to your small talk, but when we have a huge elephant in the room it's exhausting to try to ignore it and talk about something dumb like the weather. I'm sick of idle chats. Of not getting anywhere with you, with us. I don't know what you want from me. You don't make it known to me, what I wouldn't up give to know how to talk to the new you.
I was part of this mess too, I played my role, and my actions got us here. I am guilty, yet you have been treating me like shit. Feels even worse because we weren't like this before. We had our problems, some larger than others. I should have known you were giving up on me when you placed little effort into our relationship.
After so many years you never learned to understand me, yet I could read like a large print book. When you were having a bad day I could tell just by the way your eyes darted, or the slight weight that your voice would gain. When you were happy, you are always more physical and your smile had more warmth. I learned all your tells to the point that I could foresee that you were about to start your period within hours, and be right about it.
Yet, you couldn't ever talk to me about what was going on in your life. I always understood they were your problems, but you were someone I loved and cared for. How could I not want to help? To be there for you? I would have been there right beside you in your endeavors, in your goals and dreams. I never would have thought twice about putting mine aside for yours, yet you made it clear that I should stay out of them. When we were together you pushed me away with actions while saying you loved me. How could you not expect me to snap at that treatment? How did you not expect me to break down at what is basically abuse?

And why can't I stop trying? I'm so unhappy, so broken.

I lost like 50 pounds they all said I'd feel better after I lost it women even sometimes approach me a few have been straight forward with trying to give me their numbers Snapchat etc but I just don't feel good enough for any of them or hell even life

>>18579362
That's a common urge. Was in the same situation and it blew up in my face. Sex isn't as important as you think. Just nut and come back to your senses mate

I fell for you so dang hard it's hard to breathe sometimes. How am I supposed to keep living this life knowing you're out there, a different path unexplored?

>>18579482
If you kill yourself it will be your fault.

Sadly, at this point the only reason I would want to be your friend after all of this is because I'd love to play D&D with you again. But even if that happens, it probably won't be for at least a couple years.

>>18579583
Context

If you're on a break with someone, how long do you wait until you just say fuck it and move on?

>>18579382
I wont, I would leave her first and wait a week
>>18579410
Won't do that
>>18579798
I've been dating her since hs,
It's been a long time since I've had sex with anybody else. Im only 20 and feel like I'm trapped for the rest of my life. She doesn't fill all my sexual desires

>>18579795
You are good enough anon. You're a strong man who girls want to be with. Go fuck those bitch man

>>18579496

you do desu. try some weed.

>>18579883
Definitely do it then or you'll regret it. take it from someone who married the person they dated at that age and has major unfulfilled sexual needs.

>>18579906
Last time we broke up it lasted 3 months and she called me drunk in the middle of the night saying she misses me and she hates me for leaving her. That she gave me everything. That I broke her heart. We got back together the next day

I started this warehouse job last month. They didn't know what to do with me so they kept giving me different shifts each week. They gave me morning shift first week, then midnight shift second week and afternoon after that.

Each shift is different so I had to keep learning new stuff. I felt like I was constantly having a first day. It was horribly messing with my sleep.

By the time I'm moved to afternoon, I'm kinda peeved. Anyways, the person who I was shadowing during afternoon was a bully to me. He's already disliked by other employees and supervisors but apparently really tight with the manager. It got to the point where I had to signed out early on a Wednesday because he was a super douche.

Called HR the Thursday morning. Had a meeting with HR, the douche and some other lady in the afternoon. I was so pissed, anxious and angry at the same time. I was yelling and cussing him out. I exposed every single thing he did to me, said about me and other with witnesses who can back me up.

I demanded a to have a permanent morning or midnight shift. I told them I didn't want to spend 9 hours with that guy in the afternoon. HR and the lady said they couldn't authorize it so I said I don't care anymore. If I'm not getting any of those shifts, just tell me to go home and take my work boots with me.

HR said I probably should clean out my locker just in case. As I was leaving, she said she would call me on Friday. She ended up calling me today. She asked if I can work afternoons starting next week. She said that guy is not gonna be there anymore. Don't know if that means he got moved to a different shift or they got rid of him.

The thing is, I really hate the damn place now. I'm thankful towards HR but at the same time, fuck that place. They plan on calling me again tomorrow. Can't decide if I'm gonna continue or quit.

>>18579906
>>18579910
Weve been through fucked up shit together, idk if I can leave her. I put her through so much. Not beating or any abuse

>>18579913
You gotta work anon. Unless you got something better. Stay there

I can't stop stalking my crush, she looks so hot in those old photos ;_;
Even though it's clear she doesn't like me the way I like her.

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>she doesn't like me
>well you can't expect EVERYONE to like you!

We've become stale

>>18579927
I sorta have a back up plan. It's something that will pay a bit more for be less work but will have a longer commute. The thing is it won't be available till mid September.

>>18579894
But that's not even my intention anymore at first I was all ready to go out and slay but not anymore

I went off my ADD/HD meds because i hated being a zombie and today I took half of a full strength adderall and it feels like I'm back to my normal self.

Strange how that works.

>>18579879
Personally, the first day. I don't fuck with that shit.

Kinda just been lonely since i had to break up with my gf a few months ago i made her too important in my life and now that shes gone i feel like i need that connection again

fucking end this horseshit. just end it. Fucking tell me the truth already. for fuck's sake.

Why the fuck would you spend so much effort to make me aware of all of this and then do fucking nothing at all after but fucking tease me? whatt the fuck?

Tomorrow I'm gonna drink 10 shots of a large espresso just for the heck of it

How do I make him gain more interest without coming on too strongly? Should I try to hang out semi often?

>>18580129
Yes

My mother has had this infuriating habit of interrupting people and also never giving anyone a turn to talk. She goes on and on without so much as taking a breath and never gives anyone the option to interject into a conversation, and if you just try to interrupt her back she won't stop talking. Even if you start she never stops, she just shouts over you. And on rare occasion she does let you talk, you can painfully tell she's not listening, just waiting for her next turn to speak.
It caused me to develop this god awful habit of speaking rapid fire since I even learned how to talk because in my childhood I knew that if I couldn't get the full story out within 15 seconds, my mom would interrupt me and the topic would be lost. I've been trying to unlearn this for years now but I still speak very quickly.

Around high school I tried to get my mom to correct this behavior. I took a subtle approach at first because my mom is VERY defensive on even the slightest bit of criticism and I knew a direct approach had little chance of working. Whenever she'd interrupt me, using body language, I would make it clear I was no longer listening to her, I tuned her out, faced away from her, and then remained silent for the rest of "conversation". I wouldn't nod, or even say as much as "mmhmm, yeah" Just dead silence, and I would not engage her with any conversation for at least an hour.
I hoped this would train her to at least recognize when she's doing this. Unfortunately this backfired on me because I realized she doesn't actually care if anyone is listening. She just wants to hear herself talk.

Then I tried to directly call her on it, when she started to interrupt I'd say "NO, let me finish" very firmly but she'd just act all offended, scowl, and roll her eyes. I realized this was futile because again, she wasn't listening to anything after that point, just waiting for her next turn to talk for 40 minutes straight.

>>18580162
I tried to have a heart to heart with her, telling her how her interrupting me constantly makes me feel emotionally, like she doesn't care what I have to say, like she doesn't care about my stories or my life, like I'm boring and uninteresting, but she just gets so defensive because heaven forbid she has to acknowledge she's human and we all have faults and issues.
She just got very angry and told me (ironically, interrupted me to do so) "Don't act like you don't do it too, I don't do anything wrong"
Sure, I'll admit when I'm excited I too will sometimes interrupt someone. But I always see when I do it and I will always go back to what was being said and encourage them to go on. And I hardly ever interrupt anyone, when I do it it's pure accident. She does it to me alone at least 60% of the time I'm talking to her.

Idk what to do anymore. I've tried everything I can think of. It's gotten to the point where talking to her is exhausting. I know nothing I say will get through to her and I won't even be given the opportunity to ever FINISH a thought with her. She makes me feel so worthless and uninteresting.
I don't just want to get rid of her and boot her out of my life either, I still love her very much

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No.

I'm not interested.
I get your hints, but I had enough black-and-broken single mothers in my life. The last person I need to marry is a parallel of my mom, let alone one who's twice as crazy as she was when she hit the bottle.

>>18580187
Record her doing it.
Talk her into going to therapy

>>18580071
what happened? it'll take time but you'll find the connection again. be careful of not starting a relationship when you're not fully over your ex. don't date someone just because you miss the feeling of having someone there.

>>18579934
What do you see in her? can you find it anywhere else? if not go after her you gotta keep going
>>18579944

I put a wet napkin on top and pop it in the microwave for 10 seconds BOOM this is all an anology
>>18580124

I wants did 6 cups of coffee and felt like I had very loose control over my body, pretty fun, drink a lot of water
>>18580162

From age 13 I started watching porn, hardcore. I did this monthly, then weekly and by the time I was in high school it was daily. When I entered college I knew I needed to stop. so I tried everything. Raw willpower, cutting myself off from internet, never being alone, finding real women. Each time I tried having sex though I could never finish I always went limp. I had to imagine another woman in my head with a story for me to stay hard.

Last year I buckled down and went cold turkey. I'm doing pretty well but I'm bothered by results. I don't want to fap like I used to, when I try I get distracted. I don't like the way women look or the way they act. I find female bodybuilders, feminine men and traps the most attractive (not trans though...).

I think this whole time I was using porn to cover up the fact I was a fag. Or maybe porn has done irreversible damage to my sexuality. What ever it is I'm going to keep it secret. I don't want to be gay not in the virtue signalling world, nor do I want to be a straight guy cause I can't imagine myself in a functional relationship.

>1.6k in red
>already recieved pay
>limit is 2.3k
Oh I'll be fin-
>500 bucks for rent hasn't been drawn yet

Fucking shit. And now lately my upper jaw feels like its shifting over my bottom jaw and my teeth are grinding more lately. God I hate being addicted to destroying my life but still to the point where I can always barely get by.

>>18580202
I guess I'm just gonna have to record all of our conversations or something.
I doubt she'd ever go to therapy. She's very biased and has strong opinions on anything to do with "mental illness" (which is ironic coming from someone who works in the fucking health industry) and therefore therapy has a bad rep to her. Again, she's very "There's nothing in the world wrong with me I am perfect in every way and any fault you can find on me is no more than the average amount anyone else has"
Going to therapy would be admitting she has a problem.

I'm gonna try one more time to have a frank open discussion with her and just try to hold as firm as I can when she turns it into a debate. I hate arguing with her, for obvious reasons because shes "always right" and she always turns everything away from her and onto others.
Like the last time, she twisted the conversation into being back on me, how /I/ supposedly interrupt people too. We just ceased to talk about her and instead went into all my faults.

Any tips on standing strong and avoiding the turn around? I think I'm just gonna have to scream over her "WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU" until she gets it.

>>18580223
I uh, am sorry you struggled with your sexuality anon. My sister's gay so I watched her kind of do the same thing, desperately try to show us how "straight" she was even though literally every single person in her life knew she was gay. Shit's hard. Idk if that was actually directed at me or if you just replied to my post on accident but I'm sorry dude. May you find peace and a super hot dude.

>>18580245
Do you not have this on a credit card

>>18580222
She didn't like me anymore but I could see it coming before she did so I ended it because I knew eventually she would have later on so i saved both of us the time and trouble

I'm tired of going through all the emotional pain and periodic disappointment that comes with loving you. You are helpless. A helpless baby with no control over anything. You can't control when you're sleeping or awake. How are you even breathing on your own? I can't believe I fell for you. I'm being mean. This is why I avoid you sometimes. I want to be mean to you when I'm sad because I want you to understand how it feels to love you. You tell me you want to spend time with me and I know I'm going to be lonely tomorrow. Don't ever tell me you love me more. I try harder for you.

>>18580255
Ironically I never wanted to own CCs because of shit like this,but once I wanted just to fuck my life up by the time it was my birthday because I've told myself it would be the last day for me ever and then again the next day I just felt fine and realized everything up to now was indeed stupid,its just frustrating in the end again. Having this fucking cycle every month or on some occasions even weekly/daily is just worse for my bank account. I don't even have savings anymore and I still have so much shit to pay for and the month has just barely begun. I just wish I had played lotto or bingo or some shit where you can win money if you're lucky instead of just wasting it on stupid shit

>>18580252
>>18580223
Whoops I replied to you cause I wanted to comment on your mother situation but accidentally deleted what I was going to say.

My mother is similar but has more calm moments. Over time I found out that that was how she thought strength looked. She wanted to be a strong woman who got respect but instead came off as a bitch. Over time she alienated her siblings and her children. She won't change but she at least says sorry and pauses.

Find the root of the problem. 50% of what we are is genetic but the other half we develop over time. Find the problem and maybe you can explore how to treat her. if you don't wanna be dr. Phil at least you can learn if you have it or not

>> M 18
I've discovered in myself that I have a major fear of commitment. I absolutely hate risk taking. I always have to have someone approve something I do or say so I can blame them if it's wrong. I can't even look at let alone talk to girls because I don't want to look like a creep trying to get in their pants, and that I have no one to approve everything I would do to talk to a girl. I have no social skill, I always feel reluctant to speak to anyone because I always keep to myself.

>>18580270
>You are helpless.
Why ?

>>18580316
Who are you?

>>18580315
Literally start doing all those things

>>18580270
You're being manipulated, bird. That person wants you to crave their presence and attention, they want all the power a and control

god what a fuck up.
im a jerk but i think it was right to break it off before it got in too deep

i feel so bad about breaking up with her but it would be ten times worse if i just kept it going like it did.

>>18580371
I do crave it. How do I turn this around and make them feel this way?

So today I cleaned all day and my husband is pissed off at me and I don't know why. I did the dishes, swept and moped floor, 4 lodes of laundry, vacuumed, picked up all the kids toys/clutter, cleaned the bedrooms, cleaned the bathrooms, toilets, showers, and tubs, cleaned the fish talk, the rat cage, the tortoise cage, changed the cat litter, took out the trash, and cleaned out the fridge. I didn't ask for help or bother him or anything and now he's all mad at me and won't talk to me because the kitchen smells a little like bleach. I used a bit to clean out the garbage disposal but not much. I don't understand why he is mad. Honestly my feelings are hurt that he won't speak to me. I don't think I did anything wrong, I feel like he should be greatfull I keep our house nice. What did I do wrong?

>>18580270
Talk to them openly, stop being subtle with them. They aren't getting the hint.

>>18580383
If that person is a sociopath, you can't. They just see you as a fuck toy, a pawn, their slave that will do anything and everything for an ounce of validation. Ghost the person. When they try reeling you back in its important to not respond and move on. Release their control over you. That will annoy them. People like the person you speak about us ruled by their ego.

"Wow, I'm so bored. Sure do wish there was something to do around here!"
Are you fucking joking? That's seriously what you fucking said in a time like this? I'm so sick of this bullshit.

>>18580270
Talk to the person. You sound like you don't want to quit on them. Talk and make sure you being understood.
Sometimes you need to stand up to someone you love in order to continue loving them so.

Fuck, why is so hard for people to communicate?

>>18580434
Is* not us

>>18580395
Probably because you didn't ask so he could decline your offer? Is he the kind of person who would do that? My ex definitely was and it was infuriating.

>>18580434
How are they a sociopath for being helpless? It sounds like one person is co-dependent or needy, and there is a communication breakdown because the poster won't be blunt to avoid upsetting them.

>>18580252
Maybe be calm when you talk
Don't shout at her. Maybe set up some rules. Like set up a timer of 5 mins so you can talk without interruption then she has 5 mins to reply without interruption

>>18580441
I'm not sure what you mean, offer of what?

Will you get off your fucking lazy ass and help us

>>18580460
We don't know the full story and it's nice to consider all options and think outside the box so to speak. The poster knows what's really happening and they probably need outsider perspective from all angles

>>18580465
If you were to ask him to help you. Did I use the wrong word? If I did I apologize. My mind is frazzled right now.

>>18580473
Just curious anon, because there was nothing at all that indicated sociopathy. Only someone being useless or not understanding something.

>>18580395
Hmu bby
But for real tell him you spent all day cleaning and that he's treating you like shit for something really insignificant. Be as calm as possible and ask what makes you so upset? When he says the smell of bleach, says "well I had to clean the trash disposal. That's the only way and the smell will go away in a little bit. Why does it tick you off so much?" If he blows up start crying and tell him stop yelling.

>>18580383
>>18580460 this.
Sometimes we become so absorbed by our own emotions that we can't see the harm we cause others. That when we need someone to be hard on us. It sometimes takes people a hard realization to pull out of it.
If they do care about you, and you are direct with them, they will listen. Explain everything to them and leave no room for misinterpretion.
Sometimes you need to stand up to them for them to truly listen.

>>18580475
No, no he never helps clean. I've never asked him to help with stuff like that and he never has. It's been my job our whole relationship so the 9 years. I didn't want help, and I don't think he's mad I didn't ask him too. I just don't understand why he's being this way to me.

>>18580470
will you tell me what the fuck is going on?

I feel weird. Not like sick, but more like empty. My favorite pastime is starting to not be as fulfilling, and all I can think about is the fears of the future. I'm doing well at my job, and prepping to move in with my S/O, but something seems to be missing and I can't tell what.

I want a boyfriend. I want to cuddle, kiss him, give him bjs. And I want him to love me back. I used to have a boyfriend. But I didn't feel loved by him. I want someone who cares. Time passes and I meet no one. People younger than me are getting married.

Will I have to learn to be happy with this life? It's not that it's bad, it's just that life with a partner is so much better.

>>18580594
did you actively searched for one? it's not difficult for a girl objectively.

why do I fall for troubled people

>>18580594
DO NOT compare your life to others. That just starts leading you down a path to desperation. And there's nothing that says what they're doing is the right way either. If you want a boyfriend make the effort but go at your own pace. It's not a race down the aisle.

>>18580297
Ah I see, thanks anon
>>18580462
Well, when I say scream at her I only mean literally. Not emotional screaming, just if you aren't screaming you aren't talking in this house. Because you have to try to be heard over everyone else, particularly her because she will not stop talking.

The timer would be a good idea though, I hope she would go for something like that. She likely wouldn't be able to abide by the rules in place though, and probably wouldn't respect any rules made by anyone other than herself

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>have ibs or something, nobody really knows
>never know which foods will fuck me up
>never know when diarrhea will strike
>painful cramping before/during diarrhea
>never know if cramps are remanent pain or warning of a second round of peeing from pooper
>can't go to the bathroom early to get it over with
>goosebumps and chills
>arms, chest, and face flushing

just end my life senpai

>>18580597
Yes but with the guys I liked the interest wasn't mutual. I think it's only easy for a girl if you're willing date ANYONE, but that's not really the point of dating. Or maybe I'm ugly and that's why it's hard, I don't know.

>>18580603
You're right, comparing yourself to others is a terrible idea. I don't mind making an effort but I'm not really sure what to do other than meet people (and work on myself, which I already do). It seems up to chance.

You just broke up with me.

I feel sad, but not as much as I thought I would feel.

I really, really love you, but I can't see we going past our family problems.

I will miss you.

From the bottom of my heart, I really do love you. I will always remember our times together, specially our trip to Disney World. Please, don't forget me.

I don't wanna be alone.

what do you need help with? honestly it looks like you guys have things handled pretty well atm. I'm on vacation from this. call it R&R. I'm fixing some things in myself and bettering parts of myself that have either been abused, neglected, or purposefully repressed and sacrificed, right now.

bob and weave, have fun with it, be careful though because its when you're having too much fun and you're lulled into a false sense of security that you're most vulnerable and that's when they tried to kill me.

>>18580619
Maybe write what you eat in a journal? See if you can find a pattern. I have poop problems too, I feel you anon.

>>18580639
It basically is; no matter how much effort you're putting in at the end of the day you're throwing caution to the wind that this person you're interested in is interested back, which you have very little control over.

That isn't to say give up hope, more that you gotta be patient and work with the process.

>>18580654
yeah i'll probably end up doing that. it's just hard figuring out what trigger foods are, because it could be something i ate hours ago or fifteen minutes ago that triggers diarrhea. also if i'm nervous
>tfw also have anxiety issues

I'm ready to tackle life alone but I still have my doubts.

I have too many problems.
I don't want to be a burden anymore.
I don't want to develop feelings for people anymore. I don't want flashbacks anymore. I don't want to throw up or starve anymore. I don't want to have mood swings anymore. I don't want to be sober anymore. I don't want to worry people anymore. I don't want to be tired anymore. I don't want to be alive anymore.

I don't want to rush anything but I want to make you cum so badly. I want to kiss and caress every part of your body. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms.

you just seem really afraid to let yourself get close

Im a loose cannon when I drink. I go from very reserved to pretty much I do what I want.This has many good and bad consequences.

Ive been feeling lonelier and lonelier lately but without alcohol Im very nervous with women from past experiences. I know what they can do to me and it has left its mark but I still want to be loved.


Guess im just a bit of a mess desu.Still trying though

Mental health is important, kids.

Pretending nothing's wrong can fuck you.

There is this girl.

She likes me.

I think. It's a 99% chance. Shit, I have autism and a pessimistic outlook on life, and I can see it clearly that she likes me.

I cannot ask her out, hell I can barely talk to her.

Because I've learned the hard way that there is no such thing as a "sure thing".
Touched the stove too many times, got burned every single time despite the fact i was "just being myself", "it's different this time" and that I just had to "man up".

Best rejection I ever got was a girl laughing in my face. She did seem flattered though and afterwards was all like "sorry, just not interested in you like that".
I get that, I can live with that. Shit, rejections like that are awesome. I wouldn't be so hesitant if they were all like that.

But that was the best. Second best, was far worse and average, made me incapable of opening up to women in general, even as friends just in case they mistook that friendliness as interest.

I have invisible handcuffs preventing me from making a move, even when I know a girl likes me, even when a girl straight up asks if I'm gay because I haven't asked her out.
It'd be easier if I was gay.
I kind of wish I was.

So, I'm just going to have to repeat the endless cycle of liking girl who seems to like me, do nothing about it, watch as she gets bored waiting for me to make a move and moves on instead.

Fuck it, maybe some people are better off alone. I know I'm more comfortable alone anyway. The idea of sharing a bed with someone gnaws at me, I like my space I can't sleep with someone pressed up right next to me. And I'll probably get pissed off because it's going to be one more person in my life that needs some shit at the most inconvenient time. for me.

Fuck it, it's just a crush. They come and they go.

What is the point? You've planned it out. Sure, fuck, it's far fetched, but, of course, there are other methods to consider. It'll hurt, those methods, though. Fuck you. Fuck you, you motherfucking idiot. Do it. There IS no point! You've thought about it, it's kept you up at night, you spent hours writing the fucking thing. So get it over with. Fuck it. I'm done.

i went to a group interview today and i didnt get the job, im not mad about no getting it because i knew that i couldn get it anyway due to lack of time, but im mad because ive been to more than 10 interviews and i never make it past the first one.

thats why i am mad, ive been called odd my whole life and ive been diagnosed with SPD so i know i am not a regular guy and im afraid that is why i am not getting a fucking job, because of something i cannot change.

ive had people that dont know me sense something strange about me and making comments, and im starting to think that i might never get a job because the psychologists sense that otherness in me and they automatically said no we are not hiring him.

ive been deppressed or at least down since i was 5 and i always thought about killing myself when i turned 18, im 23 now and if i knew things werent going to get better i wouldve found a way to end it without my parents knowing, fuck it when i die i dont want no one to find out because im completely forgetable and no one or at least a few people not more than 5 not counting my family would go to my funeral.

Im happier now but the feeling of not being able to live for myself thanks to things i cannot change is pulling me back to the 00's me, im only living to go to concerts and get high and walk and i think the drugs are keeping me alive and thats just sad

I want you to be happy because you deserve it. all the other stuff, just push it aside. breathe. then talk to me. I'll do anything and everything I can to make things better but I can't do that if you push me away.

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it was a good run, i guess.

Sucks you cant figure your shit out, though. I remember you getting all emotional with me about how it was finally nice to find a decent guy that isnt shitty, but it appears so that you are the culprit of all your relationship issues, not other guys. Your definition of love is going to sabotage you until you really figure it out, playing this game of sexual liberation and empowerment through casual sex and hookups, stringing people along because you have some chip on your shoulder from being burned in past relationships won't spell out anything good for you at all.

Doesn't make you a bad person though. We all have learning to do but more importantly so do you.

And surprisingly throughout all the mud you dragged me through, I don't have a hate for women. If anything, I just feel mentally exhausted and want to stay away from things with vaginas for a while

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My gf is a virgin and probably the most sheltered and romantically inexperienced person I've ever met. We've been dating for 4 months now and there is a severe lack of intimacy. We've cuddled literally about 8 or 9 times. In 4 months. When I told her I wanted more intimacy she asked what I meant and when I told her at least we could cuddle more she said something like "well we've cuddled a few times..." as if to say "what? that's not enough?".
This is killing me but I'm too much of a bitch to leave her for someone who can give me what I want more because I have bacne and it kills my confidence. kill me please

>>18579386
Go to into therapy, it can help you deal with stuff like that.

I'm a doormat.

It's been a decade and no one fucking cares.
I've moved my entire life between continents, gone for psychiatric help, left "the closet", lost my virginity, had a first job, received my degree, made dozens of friends but no one fucking cares. I hate my pathetic basement dwelling life, I hate my pathetic body, my hobbies, my friends, my lifestyle and everything I do. It's just an endless stream of shit and there is no one to turn to. It doesn't matter that I've talked a dozen people out of their various breakdowns and suicide attempts, or tried a dozen different medications. There is literally no help left unless you are legitimately about to kill yourself within the hour. If I had a stroke on the street no one would stop walking by, and why should they? There is no point trying to salvage something that is so ugly inside and out, or trying to fix something that wills itself to be broken.

I will never achieve the dreams I have, such things are for other people. Instead I will squat in this wretched basement and drink myself to death, one day and one squandered pay check at a time. Fuck this world and fuck my supposeded privledge, I've wanted to gut myself for a decade and as each day goes by I fear that one day I actually will go through with it. I legitimately wish I could lock myself into solitary confinement for a year, just so that I could starve myself and be free from my addictions.

>>18579701
You have depression. It's not a sad feeling, it's a lack of feeling and it fucking blows.

Go to a therapist and seek serious help.

>>18580878
youre gonna be ok faggot. ill talk to you if you want to talk.

Just got broken up with 2 nights ago, it was my fault I pushed her away and I'm having trouble sleeping and when I do, I get horrific nightmares about trying to get her back.

I know time heals all wounds but I don't know how long I can take feeling like this, it's 4:10am

>>18580884
I know we're all going to make it anon. It's the complete and utter lack of a pathway that makes it so miserable. People only care if you're on the precipice, otherwise you just get "dont give up :-D" and "that sucks ur feelin bad :c" as an offhand remark and that is that. Thanks for the kind words regardless

>>18580905
You'll be fine in the future, you just need to get through the present emotional pain. I'm guessing you still miss her on some level. Did you want to break up with her?

>>18580871
Is she confused or just naturally distant? If this is her first relationship then she might not understand where you're coming from. Have you explained what you want from your relationship in more detail?

>>18580952
I'm >>18580871
At this point I think she might just be naturally distant. She seems to have little desire to have sex or other physical stuff. The first time we made out she told me that was the first time she made out. Maybe she just doesn't know what being in a relationship is like. I should try to slowly expand the boundaries so she can grow i guess.

I'm not gay. I just think humping is hot as fuck

>>18580878
Friends care, otherwise they wouldn't be your friend.

>>18581062
Not to be that guy but have you considered what would make her reluctant? I mean that in the sense that she could be one of those asexuals or could just be not that into a lot of physical contact. I'd say you should go slow and steady with her 2bh, maybe figure out what she wants to do (if anything) or why she doesn't feel like doing anything. She could just be incredibly shy or nervous for instance

>>18579346
P

You are a retarded pedophile and only severely ugly cunts will ever love you because they're desperate garbage. That fat chink trash your stuck with is hilariously ugly lololol, you should kill yourself.

I fucking hate the day that I meet her, she just ruined my life more than it was before, i dont know what to do to erase her from my mind because she keeps calling me sometimes or talks like she did nothing, fucking bitch I hate you so much

>>18580905
you'll make it brother, I'm 8 days in, it was my fault too. the pain subsides eventually. crying helped me a little bit, not much, but it leaves you emptied out for a little while. grieve.

pragmatic advice: grab some melatonin from the drugstore (if it's legal in your country) and you'll sleep like a baby. avoid the shit sold as sleeping pills (diphenhydramine) if you're having dreams, it's a mild deliriant and will make your dreams much worse.

just endure it and before long the intensity will begin to fade. hang in there.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to pegasus. He was annoying as fuck, but sometimes I enjoyed reading his shit.

There has to be something you are good at/have an interest in, anon.

Is it possible that there isn't?

>>18580348
So can I blame you I turn out to be all the things I fear I may become in doing these things?

>>18580622
Post selfie
>>18580871
>I have bacne
Change you diet, shower more and talk to a doctor

Im terrified I will become addicted to xanax!! i mean i stopped 6months ago when I started dating the love of my life, been totally clean, not a bad withdrawal.. he isn't aware of that past issue of mine.. i'm so scared for myself and what i am capable of.. it's almost as if there is a conniving person living in me, idk what to do, i let that person get the best of me

I'd do anything for him

I'd do anything just to see her smile.
I want to see that cute face giggle when I say or do something. Anything really.

It always warms me when I see her happy, even if she looks vicious.

I have secret paranoid thoughts. I am halfway convinced that you are going to murder me when we move in together, all because you won't respond to my texts. I need help, I know I'm going to be watching you like a hawk for a while untill those thoughts go away. I realize this is not healthy or normal, but your even more fucked up than me mentally

"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

I always hoped you'd be the one to know me, the real me, and still love me. Please don't let me be wrong.

-B

>>18580871
Run anon. For real.

You said you were afraid of me, you should.

Do NOT come anywhere near me, I will make you my bitch.

>>18579346
I see your posts those retweets. All love stuff and stuff about missing someone.

I want them to be about me so bad. I want you to be thinking of me still. But I know they aren't about me. You've probably forgotten about me already.

You have a new guy so why on earth would you be thinking about me. You were so important to me but I guess in the end I was just the first on that list of guys that you dated.

It's all fading

>>18579346

After 3 years I'm finally talking to my first ex again. after spending 2 days with her i've fallen in love again, she really is my dream girl. It looks like she's interested again aswell, I really needed this to finally smile again after losing my father and girlfriend this year.

My ex keeps popping up in my dreams.
Every time she is just a little different.
Sometimes it doesn't look like her at all. But I feel it's her. I know it.
I already lost her. It is becoming harder to remember how she looked, how she sounded, smelled, tasted. How it felt to hold her close to me.

I don't want to lose those memories. They are all I have left of her, and I'm afraid that they will soon be gone.

>>18581611
Helps when you stop talking long enough for me to actually respond to what you're saying. I know you get nervous, but sheesh. One-sided conversations can make it rather difficult to bond, in particular when I can't derive any new information from what it is that you are saying.

>>18579346
I don't want to sound edgy but I don't love my parents, I don't hate them either, my father is basically a stranger and I saw him very little through my life, haven't spoken to him in literal years.

My mother she was kind of there but when I left for college it was a relief to not have to live under the same roof as her as I felt like I could finally be myself. fastfoward 10 years and now I'm a full grown man and all that shit, she came to visit for a week and I felt like she was mostly an annoyance but she just left and now I feel kind of empty and/or sad and I don't know why, never felt like that before and is not the first time she has come over for visit.

Fuck I feel like crying.

Tell me the truth, I'm exhausted. I really want to help you feel better and I'd do anything.

>>18581841
I'm in the same boat, Anon. I don't hate my parents but I don't have any particular liking for them. I don't know how it is for you, but for me it feels frustrating because there's not really a reason for feeling any particular way - liking, disliking, or feeling neutral. Yet when I moved out there was this huge sense of relief.

Don't beat yourself up over it and feel plagued by guilt. You don't get a choice in family - and you don't have to like your family. You don't have to like everyone you know, and that include family.

As i hear about the adultery that goes around, I slowly lose faith in finding someone genuine to love. I fell in love with the wrong chink two years ago and it banged me up pretty bad, but i always had a feeling that i was just a place holder for someone else with more cream in his pocket. I ended the relation, but i felt like a failure for not trying to make things work out, even though it was like the 3rd time she cheated.

Life is strange. If you want to fuck other people, just end one relation and fuck. Idk why people have to be like solid snake about it.

end my fucking life

>>18581841
There is a point when you realize that your parents are just regular guys. They were so important in our lives, but at the end they were just guys parenting.

why do girls wear such exposing clothing. holy shit it drives me insane i mean fuck granny panties are longer than the pants most wear, how is this not classed as public indecency im sure if i walked down the street in pants so short my ass and balls hang out id be done for public indecency.

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I wish I were a normie who could get along with most people and have enough money and money to travel and hang out with my friends. Instead I'm a dumb fujo, my friends are too, and I'm poor so I live with my shitty boderline abusive family and I spend my time playing vidya, studying and working while everyone else is travelling, going out and having fun. I'm sick of it. I feel like I can't relate to anyone.

>>18581955
I know, right? Holy shit.

Leggings, man. What the fuck. A coat of body paint would be thicker. Leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination, in particular if a girl has to bend over in a well lit place. Absolutely transparent.

"Oh, but it's comfortable!"

Bull. Fucking. Shit. Exactly what part of having dental floss in your ass crack is comfortable? Have you TRIED normal clothes?

To be fair though, women's clothing does suck. Go look in any clothing section, it's all garbage. They don't even get pockets in most of their shit.

>>18581955
>>18581991
It's not always a matter of choice, depending on trends and where you can buy clothes, it's very hard to find practical clothes that also don't look unfashionable or straight-up ugly. Even worse when you're smaller or bigger than average, because it makes clothes harder to find.

From personal experience, I'm shorter and skinnier than average and I have a hard time finding tops that don't show my entire chest because everything is either not my size, ugly, more or less transparent or is cut to show cleavage even though I'm flat-chested. Most of the time it's a combinaision of two of these things.

>>18579346
I know you bitches say rape is so horrible, but honestly when you say no and then the next day you text me and say 'thank you for raping me last night', I know ur all full of shit.

>>18581955
>>18581991

They do it to feel attractive by getting beta males to look and pine for them, then they go fuck chad. They're right when they say dressing up and wearing slut uniforms is about them, not you. Because they want to feel sexy by infuriating the typical male.

Have fun betas.

>>18582022
This
Only people from /r9k/ complain

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>take anon advice and try to talk to girl at work
>want to ask her how her day is going
>see her with back turned
>slowly approach
>she turns around before I'm ready
>stunned.jpg
>stare straight at her for at least five seconds
>she says "good morning..."
>try to respond but only let out muffled sentence sounding like a growl
now she thinks I'm a weirdo I bet I fucked it up.

I don't really know what to do.
Is this affecting me more than I realize?
I know I can't ever be okay with this.
I'll never be able to rest without watching my own back.
Do I deserve to live like this?
It's cruel.
Things as they are, I can't leave.
Yet, things won't change unless I leave.
Will I die first, or will I be able to overcome this...
I don't know.

I feel like I want you to give me a reason to hate you again, after everything you've put me through. You acting like everything is alright hurts. The only time that I can tell you that I love you are in the brief moments that I forget.

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Sometimes I wonder if you still post here. In this shit pit of a site. If you still play that shitty ass MOBA that I only played because you asked me, and I knew it'd make you happy. You were ecstatic when you woke me up that morning after we closed the night before, calling my phone telling me to get up and play. I'm sure you still play that MMO too. You always doodled and drew shit from it in your notebook. The one I always had to hold on to because you left it all over the place and forgot to take it home. I still have the drawing you did for me.

I hope you're never forced to come back to this town. Because sooner or later we'd cross paths again, and I'd probably avoid eye contact and quickly walk away. It's just like you said, I was the only reason you ever wanted to come back. Now I'm just that asshole that ruined a friendship. I can't and won't apologize for the things I said and did. Because an apology is just words that don't mean anything, and I stand by how I felt when I did those things and said what I said. I made my decisions because I loved you, and I thought I could save you from going down a road worse than a similar one I went down. And in a selfish way deep down, if I helped you, I felt like I'd be helping myself heal and put my past behind me completely and feel new. It's stupid now that I type it out and look at the words like some sort of botched science experiment or a ruined dinner.

I wish you the best. That things get better for you. That you get away from your shitty relationship or he gets his shit together. That you make it big or become successful or whatever the fuck. Just don't come back here. For your sake. Because I'm still a soft, emotional moron with a tough guy front who leaves the door to his heart open for anyone to walk in and steal stuff, while everyone else makes me knock and take my shoes off.

[spoiler]I sure hope nobody saw me fuck that up the first time[/spoiler]

>>18582411
there's no spoilers on adv anon

>>18582411
>>18582416
Fuck it. I don't even care anymore.

Bf has become addicted to porn. I tried to talk to him about it but nothing changed. I dont care if he watches it, I just miss our intimacy. Now I can't even get off by myself because I feel worthless. I have constant headaches from not being able to orgasm. He even downloads my friends selfies from fb to fap to instead of fucking me. Feel like walking into traffic desu.

>>18582411
I wish this were you. Initials..maybe?

>>18582481
Probably not who you're looking for but hey, maybe life is willing to give us a break.

JD

I had everything in life handed to me on a silver platter yet I still somehow managed to fuck it up somehow. I could try to better it and get a good life if I start now but I fucking hate myself and feel pathetic like I do not deserve to lead a good life because of the way I have lived my life so ungratefully until now. fuck my ass

I broke up with her.

It was really hard.

I couldn't stand the lies, I couldn't stand the abuse.

Why was she so needy and possessive.. But, so neglectful and shady?

I ran into her friend the other day.. She pulled me aside, I was just shopping alone at the electronics store.. "She really loved you.. You hurt her.." SHE CHEATED ON ME, AND i'M STILL THE BAD GUY...

>>18582409
Initials please.

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I hate the concept of soulmates to an irrational degree. I would honestly love for it to be real, but I push back so hard on myself whenever I play with the thought that whenever I see anything about soulmates I get angry at it.
I always end up thinking, "Why the FUCK would you perpetrate something like this? Can't you see that this is an unhealthy way of thinking!?" but really its just me projecting my self-deprecation and my history of believing that I can't be happy without a girlfriend.

I guess this is just an indicator of how I push so many standards onto myself that sometimes it reflects back onto people I meet in real life. Maybe I should start telling myself that my standards are simply mine and mine alone, and that they don't apply to other people. There is no one true way to achieve happiness and everybody has their own way. One could say that life is a journey with no real end, and no journey is perfect.

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I'm like 5'5", I have small hands and a small penor. I am somewhat attractive, but it doesn't matter because of those other factors. I'll never be treated like a real man or get a girl.

On top of that, I want to be a Doctor, but my IQ is only 114.

>>18582633
You'll be alright man.
I'm also 5'5", and not all too smart, but you just gotta try.
That's what's makes you dangerous, people always underestimate you. Prove them wrong. That's all you have to do and respect will come. Bitches come later.

>>18581991
lmao speak for yourself. I think leggings are comfortable as fuck, feels like I'm wearing nothing at all. Jeans have a hard seam that's really uncomfortable to sit on because it puts a lot of pressure right on my clit and not in a good way.

Also leggings shouldn't be like dental floss in your ass, that probably happens to fat people whose butts eat any pair of pants they wear.

>To be fair though, women's clothing does suck. Go look in any clothing section, it's all garbage.

There are more crop tops and braletts than shirts, and I hate the fucking high-rise mom jean bullshit trend. But there are still good clothes out there if you look hard enough. Imo the big problem is how ridiculously expensive most clothes are, it's criminal.

>They don't even get pockets in most of their shit.

Do you ever see women carrying anything in pockets? The fashion industry decided long ago that purses are what should be used to carry all your shit, and that 90% of pockets are just for fashion. Women's clothes are often too tight for anything to fit in a pocket without looking weird. Jackets are an exception, because they're usually baggy and thick enough to have useful pockets while still looking fashionable.

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>>18582608
Actually, there's more to this story. I think my frustration stems from the fact that I met this girl last year who I am absolutely crazy for. I don't know her to well, so I'm most likely projecting, but I have never actually felt this attracted to someone before. It all stemmed from a smile she so genuinely gave to me and I have no idea why it hit me so hard, I've been smiled at before by many other girls but when she does it to me it feels so genuine that it gets my heart racing, yet I feel strangely calm around her.

I guess part of me truly, honestly wants to believe its my soulmate, but rationally I know I'm just projecting onto her because I don't know much about her. Yet, when I try to think rationally, that aforementioned part of me feels as if I'm discrediting my own feelings which, possibly, fosters these feelings of frustration.

I think that my desire to build a long lasting relationship with someone, but won't be able to for awhile, also fuels these frustrations.

I hate being constantly belittled and treated liking a fucking child when I'm more than capable of demonstrating, and have demonstrated, vital responsibilities. The amount of respect I get is little to none and it pisses me off because I worked hard to become the musician I am today. I've had YEARS of experience on drumline and became a captain and surpassed my superiors almost instantly due to the fact of my learning capability. Not only that, but I became Drum Major. I still don't get any respect from my parents because they only think mistakes matter; at this point I've made so much success that it should balance out all the meaningless mistakes I've made. But no. I want to give up on everything despite my status (not that it matters). I just don't get it. I'm never able to fully reach someone's standards, but I've reached my own, so what's more important? Because of the constant belittlement and feelings of self worthlessness I've been really depressed and I'm considering suicide. I promised my girlfriend I wouldn't though because she wants a meaningful future with me. I don't know what to fucking do.

>>18582715
>I'm never able to fully reach someone's standards, but I've reached my own, so what's more important?

The latter, and I'm sure deep down you know this. You could be the sweetest peach in the world, but some people just don't like peaches. You'll never have the love and respect of everyone. All that matters is YOU love and respect YOURSELF and YOU know how much work you've put into becoming who you are today.

Fuck anyone who isn't willing to treat you with the most basic level of respect. They aren't worth your time. Surround yourself with positive people who are interested in self-growth and improvement, people who appreciate you for who you are. Don't depend on others for happiness or validation, ever.

>>18582726
Thank you. You're right. I'll be more careful about who I'm around because I don't need those who put me down. Once again, thank you for the advice.

I'm making progress at the gym but I'm reaching limits again, it only motivates me to eat more but I still don't eat enough. My body could be strong and look great in a shorter amount of time, but the way I eat it's gonna take too long.
I also wish I was about 10 cm taller

"I'm gonna be so late I have to go now! "

>get there 20 minutes early

EVERY TIME

>>18582489
No. May your words comfort another Anon also.

>>18579346
I don't know what i want from this
I don't want a fuck buddy, i want someone do grow with and your timidity to open yourself is boring.

And boring is worse than death for me - but i still want fuck you and have you

I'm mad as shit with my dick rn.

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Got uncomfortable around a disabled chick
>Starting to feel like shit
>I'm sure she noticed my discomfort
>My stupid fucking mind couldn't control itself and spaghetti was spilled

All of this shit will forever be your fault. You'll always be nothing but a lying whore

I use to play DAYZ way too fucking much when it was a mod. I bought the standalone aloonnngggggg time ago and it's kinda sad how little progress they have made.

The way the loot works now... I can't find fucking shit. I have played for SIX FUCKING HOURS so far and have not ONCE found anything to eat.

Seriously, what the fuck.

>>18582933
Ah I remember in 2013 how much I wanted to buy this

I don't know how to talk about myself and when it's a good time and I'm worried you're getting bored of me. It feels like you've slowly been getting more and more distant and you're the first person I've really wanted to be with. I want to learn more about you and tell you more about myself but I can't tell how interested you are and I don't want to bug you or seem needy

>>18582987
I wonder if you're a girl talking about a man or the reverse.

I'm 22 years old and still haven't had sex

I'm going to die a virgin and alone

>>18583051
Probably.
I mean I know several 25-30 year old virgins from my journey, and it's pretty obvious why they're virgins.

I mean, you actually have a chance to redeem yourself during this time, but if this is how you feel...meh.

>>18583051
>Get /fit/
>Read Pook's book
>Go out

>>18583026
guy talking about a guy actually lol

>>18583061
>>18583065
I mean I go out a lot
I have a lot of friends and no problem making more friends
I'm good looking
I'm an interesting guy that people have fun with
why am I shit?

>>18583071
Read book of pook and find out
That book got me laidq

So...this is the most trivial shit ever, I Know, but it's really activating my almonds now.

>everyone in family is addicted to soda
>4 cans a day
>I probably just drink one every week
>put half-drunk can in fridge
>in middle of the night it disappears
>it was my 30 year old older brother

Really, what the fuck? I return from college and have to deal with this gross shit?

>>18583074
>pick up artist
>pressing women's buttons
isn't that fucking creppy and opposite due to the "b yourself my man"?

>>18583082
jesus christ, what's wrong with water?

>>18583084
Pook is the farthest i'll go into PUA at the moment, it has a nice balance of philosophy/game.

Frankly i'm at the point where i want to go out and go full autism with PUA and see if it works

You people better fucking hope and pray to god that I die because if I live through this I'm going to fucking hunt every single one of you down.

You'll give me a will and a cause.

I'm a pedophile. Not the rapey type, just the type that's attracted to little girls. I like to admire from a distance

>>18583171
me too

just one question, do you get also attracted to girls that aren't minors?
I do, that's why I'm not worried

>>18583191
Hell yea. I prefer shorter girls (not hard, I'm 6ft). Actually trying to fuck this milf at work lol. My thoughts are pedo but my actions are not. Tbh I want to fuck 1 loli in my lifetime and I'd be satisfied. Just for the exp ya know

>>18581991
They do it because this isn't the middle ages and they are allowed to wear what they like. Why are you staring at women's asses? Why do you care so much what other people wear? Its hilarious to hear leggings are the problem in a world that advertises half naked women to sell just about everything under the sun.

>>18579346
She didn't cum this time ;_;

>>18583196
holy shit are you me?

I'm a lawful guy who fantasizes about tapping the underage pussy, but I'm sane enough to know that it is just a mere fantasy and I also like short girls, without minding milfs along the way, hah

differences are that I'm more screwed, being a skinny manlet (although its the average height of my country, 1.70m-5.6 is still shit) and a pathethic virgin

>>18583207
I'm skinny but no virgin. I realized you literally just have to start talking to females. A lot of the time they don't know how to keep a convo either, even if they like you

Maybe one day our dreams will come tru. But until then it's off to the loli thread xD

>>18583201
What have you done wrong?

>>18583226
Nothing, I fucked her real good too.

She was obviously enjoying it. Just didn't come :'(

Is it normal to keep going through this same loop over and over again? It's been 3 months since we broke up and every night it feels like I go through the same character arc.

Like I feel sad and then I go have a smoke in a parking lot at 3am and look at the sky and I'll have some sort of calming realization that I'll be fine without her. Except its been happening usually every night.

I feel like I'll never get out of this loop.

>>18583249
That's why you eat her out after until she does cum.

>>18583253
Cunnilingus is not the solution to everything.

>>18583253
I don't like it. But she blew me before we had sex, so I guess I could have returned the favor.

I finger her all the time though.

>>18583251
I think that's normal. We think different based on the time of the day. On nights I always say that I'm gonna change my attitude completely, but in the morning I try to convince myself that everything's fine and I don't have to do it.

>>18583260
What don't you like about it? I can't get why so many men are grossed out about this...

>>18583260
How do you know when she's having an orgasm?

I miss you so fucking much and I can't handle this. I just want to pain to be gone and to be in your arms again. Nobody will ever be you and I can't get over that. You have my heart, and I need it back. Why did you have to be so damn perfect for me? And why did I have to let you get away from me? You wanted me to know what I wanted from life. And now I'm fully convinced that it's you, and only you. I just need you in my life and this silence is killing me. You texted me to ask how I was doing, and I let off that I was doing okay. But I'm not. I'm not okay, and I won't be until I can talk to you and see you again.

Texas Dallas USA

You have to give me some sign, you know.

>>18583277
Tell him or her! Tell that person that you miss it!

>>18583299
It won't make a difference. And it's just too soon. But god, do I want to tell her.

i... i'm tired

Each time you message me, it takes so long for me to recuperate. I know you don't realize... why do you bother with me? You know I love you, right?

>>18583346
Initials?

I see posts on here that I think could be from you and it just makes me more anxious and want to talk to you even more, but I can't tell at all and I'm driving myself nuts

>>18583350
I don't want to say but you can tell me who you're looking for.

>>18583363
Are you male? is R one of your initials?

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I am too dumb for college. Too sensitive to hold an stressful job. Live in a third world shithole where the minimun wage is so low and you won't earn more without a college degree.
I am too autistic for social situations.I've never had a friend in my life. I am too lazy to work myself into developing a marketable skill. I have no motovation at all. I am miserable and make people around me miserable. I want to end it all already but my family would get depressed. My mom is just coming out of cancer and is very weak right now and the impact could affect her health. I want to quit life but feel hostage to my family cause I want them to go on without me but I know it wont be like that and they will be affected but at the same time theres no way at this point I can fix myself into a normal functioning independent adult.

>>18583346
Why don't you just tell me this?
I don't message you for shits and giggles. I message you because I miss you. I ask about you because I care about you. I'm sorry if it's been stressing you out. Not my intention.

Maybe i do know you love me, I just need to remember what it sounds like coming from you.

I bother with you because still I love you. Stop act this way and reach out. I want to hear from you so much.

>>18583381
No, I'm a female... sorry

>>18583346
I've been trying so hard to give you the benefit of the doubt because I don't want to lose you

>>18580695
I know how you feel. Hang in there, friend. You will find solace.

Love doesn't exist. Decent relationships don't exist. I hope you suffer for the rest of your life fucking whore. Everything you ever said was a lie

>>18583426
I meant every word. You chose not to believe me. Where all the other guys worth it?

>>18583358
What kind of nuts? I hate nuts. Cashews are good, but they are a legume!

>>18583401
I?

>>18583453
No, sorry

Not once in my life have I been happy and I'm convinced that is never going to change.

I'm a fucking loser. I've never been able to accomplish anything in my life without the help of my rich parents. I'm 20 years old, I'm fat, I've never had sex or have even gone out with a girl. I feel like I'm wrong about almost all my beliefs and think I am not smart in any way. I go to college but I'm on academic probation because I didn't want to try and thought I was going to flunk out anyway. I haven't made a friend since I've been in college and i commute to scool and still I've wit my alcoholic father who cinstantly makes fun of my insecurities. My dick is small and makes me feel inferior compared to other people. Only a week ago I tied a belt to a doorknob in an attempt to just fucking end it. Of couse knowing me I didn't tie it tight enough and it slipped off. Now I'm too afraid to try it again and life is making me miserable. I wanted to be a journalist a long time ago but I don't even care anymore. It used to excite me but now I don't even want to attempt it.

Sorry for writing like this but I've got a lot on my mind and heart right now and I guess it just came out that way.

each day I hate my family more for letting this continue.

can anything save me

>>18579346
M

I'm so sorry for everything I did
I never used you for sex and I never intended to do stuff with you when you weren't in the mood
I was just dumb and didn't know any better
I wish I could take it all back though I really do, the guilt kills me. I really did love you and you were never an object to me
I know that during our dates you'd say no but I'd try again and again till you would say yes

I never did any of that to hurt you, if you would've talked to me I could've proved that
You meant the world to me and it came crashing down when you said I hurt you, and then you left

I don't understand why you didn't try to talk to me about it
I just know that now because of this I sometimes think I should just kill myself to give you justice

I'm no rapist and I know you're not accusing me of that but that's what it feels like.
I only ever loved you and wanted to make you happy, and I would've fixed that problem in a heartbeat if I knew it existed

But now you have a new guy and he makes you happy
So I'll leave you alone

Goodbye my old love

>>18583527
You're beautiful

>>18583535
Umm thanks
Can I ask why

I just want a dick in my vagina and then I want to kms.

>>18583381
I am an R, what is your initial?

>>18583544
No problem. It's just.. You got it figured out. Your comment made me feel good that's all

>>18583558
Tell me something about the person you are looking for, and I'll tell you if it's me.

>>18583562
Well I'm glad I was able to make you feel good I really am
But I'm not so sure I have anything figured out :/

>>18583567
You are on the rebound with someone else after you slept with them in June, and you know I want you.

I 900% circumvented your fucks system and it gets your panties in a bunch soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much

>>18583581
Sorry, that's not me.

>>18583574
Well, looking back to your first post I can see that you clearly know now you pressured her into having sex.(being in love and horny is natural). And it also seems you are not holding on to something you can't have.

Don't be regretful over loving someone anon.

I went to go get milk tea. I went to the nearest place. The place a few blocks away from her house. The place she always went to because she loved milk tea. The place WE always went to. As I drove down I cursed the idea of running into her, after all I just wanted milk tea. I held my breath hoping she wasnt inside because I only wanted milk tea.

I was disappointed when I saw she wasnt in there but I bought my milk tea. As I waited I wondered if she would walk through the door. As I got my drink and started walking to my car I wondered if she would walk by.

I got in my car and drove away. I just wanted milk tea anyways.

>>18583587
no, no you didn't.

Everything we do is according to a plan. They know exactly how you're going to react. Whatever it is you think you did, you didn't do it.

>>18583601
The second person you could be is someone whose intital starts with N.

>>18583610
Sure thing sweeties ;)

>>18583614
I have to wonder if you people have seen the shit I have seen.

It's supernatural. The fucking shit I have fucking seen.

>>18583620
Are you wanting a critique of that? Because it's piss poor

>>18583602
That's makes an awful lot of sense

And it made me feel better

>>18583613
She could be the whole alphabet. I've been thinking my lost one might come here to find me as well. Atleast she should know I go on here by now. Not on this board specifically but it'd makes sense if she'd look here.

>>18583624
you wouldn't believe me even if I told you.

I miss you so much j I'm sorry for everything and I should've told you the truth about everything. I just wish you would forgive me

Why did you have to shit on my face that day. All I wanted kiss, and now I'm left with this brown scar for my family to see.

>>18583629
Do you jerk off to obi-wan-kanoobi?

>>18583609
How's that milk tea taste anon?

>>18583639
Is this the part where I say "Bittersweet"?

>>18583609
>As I waited I wondered if she would walk through the door. As I got my drink and started walking to my car I wondered if she would walk by.

I do this every time I'm on "her line" on the underground. At least your scenario had some likelihood.

>>18583641
Roll credits

>>18583220
godspeed anon

>>18583498

Hey anon. You posted this almost an hour ago, so I hope you still will read my reply.

I know what you are dealing with. I am 30 and I am passing through all the obstacles you are talking about. It's hard to be fat, to deal with all this rejection. I know what it feels like to ask yourself every minute if you are dumb, if you are a liar to yourself, if you expected too much from your life. I know how's to be the betrayer of yourself. I have an alcoholic father too, he's an asshole. I have a small dick. I tried to kill myself with a knot, and the rope broke: I felt with my fat ass on the ground, and my family laughed at that. I had big dreams.

So, I wanted to feel better and tried to kill those dreams, maybe if I did not had expectation on myself, I would have felt better. But it did not work.

So one year ago, after too much time spent in pain, I decided: I started to work hard on myself. Like I am my best ally and friend. And I did not regret or deny my ambitions and my expetations to be a person who can accomplish things. It doesn't matter if you become a journalyst or a plumber. Do something, believe me, you can. And if you cannot choose, do more things. I am not your future self. I am a real person talking to you from Europe. And I hope you will never forget that no matter what, you can. I love you bro, good luck.

>>18583346
Message me.

>>18583692
Give me your initials and I will

>>18583696
You're not me...

>>18583696
>>18583708
Middle initial C

>>18583692
I just did

>>18583738
Amazing,

>>18583756
Why?

>>18583780
Almighty kek failed

How do I stop myself from feeling this way? I'm stressed out, I'm angry. It's starting to show and I'm starting to lash out at my family. They had nothing ro do with this fucking mess you left me with. How the fuck do I stop myself from feeling like you can't trust a person? After almost 10 years together, it feels like my mistake was trusting you too much, being far too open with you. Part of me tells me this isn't trust, but God I just want to recoil into a hole.
I feel like shit.

>>18583785
Darn

Mother of fuck people love to leech

People who use depression and other mental illnesses for social laddering, when they clearly don't have said illnesses, should die

I let my anxiety get the best of me and freaked out at my girlfriend and texted her 20 times today. Really embarrassed now. God I hate this shit

There is a spirit world that is watching us

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>>18581383
Sure, doesn't matter either way. But remember that line of thought is another way to give people power over you. It sounds to me you just need to learn how to conduct yourself and pursue things.

>>18583875
How do you know?

>>18583844
I been dealing with it for more than half my life. I have grown to hate them. They don't know what it is to not even feel anger or sadness. To get to the where you envy people who feel sad because that shows they can still feel. It took me years of therapy and meds to understand this. Then you have to deal with the strenght of these emotions. Like a dam that had shut back water for years. They never tell you that when you regain the ability to feel, it may be extremely overwhelming. You feel things to the extreme. It causes problems even after you been pulled back from that hole.
When you in it, you depress those around you, you feel as if you drain life from others. So you fake them. When your out of it, the things you see are so intense you end up destroying things when you don't intend to do so.

Them? They just had a bad day, or want something to make them feel special. Anyone with this fucking curse would trade anything else to be rid of it. Some trade their lives in order to stop it.

Fuck them. I hate how the internet has allowed them to call themselves such.

>>18583881
I've had hallucinations for a long while, recently I saw shapes float past in the clouds that were exactly what I was going to do that day . I think the clouds are aware of us like in Solaris.

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Good grief
God knows
Allah is neutral
Even towards 4chan.
For the muslims pray to a genderless god. Seems like an LGBTQIAPKC+ issue. It is not, though.
The C in my acronym is for Child/Agefluid. Everyone is a little child inside, eh? Just let it out and play with the other children. And then go ahead, pic related. Nothing wrong with sodomy. I luv it.
In ancient egypt it said: "Ignorance is the root of all evil."
Modern americans must know better, for they say: "Ignorance is bliss." (1984 by George Orwell, by the way).
Old but gold. Modern and iron.

>>18579534
Lighten up, he was trying.

i need to go down to the desert and do acid again.

Honestly you ate me out and let me sit on your face for 25 minutes last night. I came like a fucking Goddess. I'm so lucky to have you and even tho I didn't get the "d", your perfect "d", I was most satisfied. So lucky to have you baby. The love of my life. My beloved. My twin.

Normally I just browse theses threads but since you like me playing it cool with my feelings and emotions I need to let it out somewhere :)

Fuck I love him, his cock and every god damn thing about him even his faults

Love A

>>18579346
I broke up with my gf because I realized I don't enjoy being in relationships and so I've decided to just hang out with friends and not try to date for an indefinite period. Trouble is, just because I know I don't want to be in a relationship doesn't mean I'm suddenly immune to emotions. I've recently realized that I'm kind of falling for a friend of mine, and though I have no urge to ask her out, I still would like to be close with her. Navigating these emotions is rather confusing and made even harder by my depression, which only ever seems to lay off when I'm talking to or hanging out with a handful of people (probably 3 at most), particularly her. Given that, I'm worried of latching onto her and becoming too needy, thus driving her away.

Also I think I'm becoming an alcoholic.

Also I self-harmed for the first time in about two years last night.

>>18583257
This

>>18583272
If she's not beat you'll feel lose sugar walls pulsating against your cock.

>>18583632
Nah, man. Never. You're a pussy

Thanks for the projection m8

I'm so far away from everyone that I don't think I'll ever be relatively close to anyone for a great amount of time; literally and figuratively.

>>18582608
Like I always say: if I have a soulmate, they must be dead (and so should I).

With that being said, I want to die. Not because I'll never get a soulmate, but because everything is going wrong with my life and I happened to be born in Brazil. Being Brazilian is more than enough reason to want to die.

>>18581979
I think you could relate to me at least, if it serves you any consolation. I'm a loser who only cares about fujo anime, magical girls and adorable baby animals that make me go "aww".

Vania, I miss you so fucking much. I still cannot believe we spent the time together that we did. Im a pasty white kid from the midwest and you are an absolute latin queen from chile. It was extremely heartbreaking coming across you on the last lengths of your visa, but you are an amazing girl.

I will never forget the moments we had. The sex we had was superhuman stuff and will never forget that ever.

Hope life is great for you, its amazing for me. I just hope we get to meet again. You are an amazing girl.

V, I know how you're feeling. I saw it from those beady brown eyes.
Thing is I'm not ready yet. I need to prove myself worthy enough of a man to take you on.

Oh, I fucking love you, but even though I got all my shit in order, thing is I'm not good enough for you even then. Like, I need to be interesting to make everything interesting.

That first date I kept talking about? It went fucking terribly, if it's any consolation. I just used her as a way to gauge whether or not I'm ready for a relationship.

I mean, I am, but I can't retain one well enough or long enough for it to be worthwhile. You're like a fucking princess, and a princess deserves a worthy prince. That will be me, but only long after this shit's done.

>>18584340
lmao, you also love a V.
Mine's just a Vanessa, thankfully. She'll never read this, but your Vania has a likelier chance because that name is rare.

I think about her a lot. I love and care for her, but talking to her causes me no end of stress and discomfort.

Someone posed as my friend to her and lied severely about what I was saying and doing. She has a version of events that's incredibly detached from reality, and everytime I've tried to tell her the truth, it's backfired on me and she's gone into denial and irrational justification, often demonizing me or descrediting what I'm saying.

On top of that, she's seeing someone.

What can I do?

>>18584347
she was the first girl i fell in love with, dude. now im on the way out of a current toxic relationship thats exhausting and taxing and im completely checked out. I havent talked to my current parnter in nearly a week or so and have no desire to really.

Vania was a doll and shes coming back this fall and i cannot wait.

I hope I die in my sleep tonight.

I accidentally made my girlfriend leave because I didn't understand that she would self sacrifice to placate my feelings. Later that grew into her resenting me for controlling her. I'm sad and alone now and I can't cry anymore.

>>18584434
Initials?

>>18584434
This happened to me. Nothing would have changed anon. I tried to adress this but instead she shut down even more. The only time we spoke to me with openness was after we broke up. She told me all the things I had done wrong in her eyes. Did I get angry? Did I break down. No, I listened. Analyzed what she said and have worked at improving where I can. Where it helps me really. I'm not changing for her but for me. It was the least I could do. I responded in kind, and instead of her listening to what I had to say, she lashed out. She continued to attack me until I just stopped listening.

It sucks. I miss her, but you shouldn't blame yourself. You are not a mind reader. She caused this by trying to be too soft. That resentment, that's hers, and she caused it to herself.

To see things end like that, I know it hurts anon. I know that feeling of wanting to cry but have it not happen.
All you can do now is try to better yourself. If you find another chance with someone else, make sure they are grown up enough to actually talk. That they are able to trust you enough to be open and honest with you. That shows that they care, that you have something worth working for. Two people that love each other can be truthful with each other, they can dent each other's feelings but at the end of the day work past it and be happy in each other's company.

Forward amigo.

I TRY AND I TRY TO MAKE THIS RELATIONSHIP FUCKING WORK AND IM THE ONLY ONE THAT DOES IT SHE SAYS SHE CARES FOR ME AND LOVES ME BUT HOLY FUCK I GET NO AFFECTION AND MY HEAD IS RACING 24/7

Someone PLEASE kill me NOW

>>18584093
Abbie?

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>>18579346

IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAY FROM YOU

>>18584390
Give us more context

I'm done. I'm MOTHER FUCKING done. I told her I wanted to watch the emoji movie jokingly, had $30 worth of movie tickets, and she even asked if I saw the emoji movie yet.

And what does she say in the group chat? LOL GUYS I JUST SAW THE EMOJI MOVIE

She probably FUCKING went with that other new coworker. I don't know what to fucking say. She's fucking playing me and she flirts with me every single fucking day. I don't know what her problem is. I fucking hate her. I fucking hate him. I fucking hate myself.

WHY IS SHE DOING THIS TO ME

>>18584896
She even KNOWS I like her. Obviously she thought that I wanted to see the emoji movie with her?? She HAD to post on the group chat, so everyone including me can see.

>>18584907
I need advice on how to counter manipulate someone. Fuck her

FUCKK

>>18584844
someone we both know told her he was one of my closest friends and he was going to set her up with me. Turned out to be some really fucked up manipulation scheme I was oblivious to, but I found out about it. He'd been using my name and twisting my words, feeding her a narrative and emotionally manipulating her.

Tried to tell her, succeeded after weeks of emotional and mental turmoil. She then told me she had feelings for someone else and that was that.

>>18584965
If she isn't willing to listen to reason from you but you know of a mutual party in your friend group, you could ask them to vouch for you. Maybe she will talk with you.

If she won't listen to reason I suggest moving on and avoiding that asshole. No point in trying to speak to her anymore

Before the thread dies I wanted to say something that's been weighing on my mind for a while. I was asked by someone if I wanted to "share an alpha with other girls or have a beta male to myself" and without hesitation I chose the later. The world is too complex for this dichotomy imo desu. I don't see what is so bad about being a beta male seeing that if someone believes and lives by that -- especially as a female -- why they wouldn't want to pursue a beta male. Regardless, I'm glad where that question has brought me. I left behind an abusive, manipulative pussy and gained something far better. Good for you, me. Cheers.

>>18585116
Are you m or f?

>>18585125
F

>>18585129
Cool. I've found that the alpha males are prone to lying, cheating and generally being shitty human beings. Once I learn a guy has a big dick, I avoid him. Even though the sex can be better, you know own that if someone is constantly looking over your shoulder for alternative mates, you're going to have a bad time.