Dating INTP woman

>>18576526

I thought it was mild autism at first but our boyfriend took her to a few psychologists and they said she was fine just "eccentric and intelligent". Her response was to call all women in psychology wastes of money or psychopaths in general.
- she generalizes a lot and usually she's not wrong but she can't manage to keep female friends, her male friends fall inbetween two categories ugly nerds, and obnoxious Chad's that she thinks are "fun because they're stupid."
- She tells white lies when she should tell the truth like if someone is bothering her at a club she'll say she's sorry and make up a lie about herself to make other people she doesn't know feel better, but anything involving us or people she knows she's painfully honest and pragmatic.

That being said she's not Spock either, every few months she seems to get in a physical altercation over something really stupid. Last time we bailed her out it was some girl she knew that was harassing her. Her reasoning at first was " If she's going to hate me I'll give her a valid reason" to " I'm just frustrated with everyone." without any more explanation.

It honestly feels like dating a beautiful ghost with a dash of Hank Hill.

>>18576538
>Her response was to call all women in psychology wastes of money or psychopaths in general.

She's right you know.

I don't get it though, are you dating her?

I'm an INTP female and this describes me strangely accurately
Is there a specific question in this? Otherwise, all I can say is that INTPs tend to be in their own universe at all times. You don't really need to try to step in their world, but making yours accessible to them helps.

>>18576542
We have a 3 way relationship. We both loved her and eachother so we got together. Its been 16 months so far!

>>18576563
I was curious as to how to get her to express her feelings more, and maybe explain it a bit because you say this makes sense but it's straaaaaange to me.

She also thinks the mbti typing is stupid and that "people have only have so many general chemical balances that they can develop and the imbalances we just slap a crazy sticker on for further review."

>>18576563
Like one thing is the fights that she gets into for stupid reasons doesn't seem like something an INTP should or would do and I don't understand where this explosive anger comes from when otherwise she's almost borderline submissive.

>>18576526
you should stop buying into this trending personality acronym crap?

>>18576596
oh look an asshole with nothing better to do but repeat what's already been said to me. How surprised I am.

>>18576526
a lot of INTPs suffer with manic depression or mood disorders, it sounds like she may be suffering from it and trying to be more bad ass than she actually is.

She's going to get into a fight she can't handle one day and end up with her head bashed in, so yeah.

People with extreme depression suffer memory loss, agitation, decreased enjoyment in activities, anger issues, social isolation, trouble paying attention, etc.

Whatever psychologists you went to were shit and wouldn't have ignored those symptoms, at all.

Either that or she's just a self entitled asshole, which a lot of INTPs are, since they think they're smart once they find out they're INTPs. It's not true, most of the time, they're only quiet and give off the illusion that they're smart.

Enjoy your crazy girlfriend, OP.

>>18576620
She doesn't seem to be depressed.
As far as thefights go I'm worried about it but she handles herself so far.

I'm not saying the girl didn't deserve it by any means either. The girl in particular last time was sending her threatening Facebook messages, yelling at her in public places, and basically acting like a high school girl. But she had always acted that way, and then suddenly my girlfriend snapped and instead of ignoring it like usual threw a few insults back hoping to start a physical fight. She did.

That being said this happens more frequently that I like but its hard to chastise her when the people are shits. But shits should be ignored.

>>18576620
Also she's submissive in conversation, and quiet in new places but I wouldn't say she's quiet. She talks quite a bit.

If anything she has no confidence, which almost comes off as having no ego but I think her self esteem is either low or not important to her. She second guesses everything she does as a writer and 90% of the stuff she writes which is perfectly acceptable never make it to her editor let alone the publisher.

>>18576620
Oh I say she's smart because she is. She's in her words " a shitty writer" on the side and a "lying piece of shit" on the other as a lead accountant for a big prop firm in Chicago. She's the breadwinner of the house we don't pull in half of what she makes in a year combined. Her hobbies are stupid like the stupidly complex gardening systems in the back yard, she hand crafts cuckoo clocks for gifts for holidays and learning new languages so that " one day if I ever pop one out I won't be a worthless parent."

Notably her speech is down right crude and crass, she curses constantly, and sometimes she comes off like an old farmer. When she's being professional though its like she goes into another mode where she's curt but toned down and even girlish. She uses it for work, kids," appropriate" situations.

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What a fascinating individual, OP. And a 3-way relationship that's lasted 16 months! That's so damn cool.

You've probably already seen this, but in case you haven't:
https://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTP.html

All I can say is, she sounds completely normal for her type and that there's nothing particularly wrong with her.
Just let her do her thing, and help her if she starts developing into a negative state. Generally, support her by catering to her type a little (eg in regards to interpersonal communication, pay special attention to logic, as this is her 'wavelength'). Apart from that, just enjoy her for the exceedingly rare thing she is.

Her snapping at the stupid girls sounds normal to me - Extroverted Feeling (Fe) is literally at the bottom of her function stack; she simply does not know how to deal with [strong] emotion [states] eand unusual emotional interaction.

>>18576564
So you and your bf have sex with her?

I guess INTP doesn't mean you're antisocial and defect like she is. This girl has some problems.

>>18576691
Its not always girls she gets into fights with but yeah, it just seems like where she chooses to draw the line is weird giving all the " mistreatment" she's willing to put up with.
My boyfriend and I joke about serial killers all the time ( hes bundy, im Eileen)
And we decided the closest was that she would be Michael Douglas from falling down.

It works really well for us thank you! My family is supportive, his thinks its a joke, and she cut her family off entirely and was emancipated at a young age so we haven't faced any adversity really.

>>18576695
We have sex together. We're equal pretty much about everything. Hes happy as a fox in a hen house and she doesn't get jealous which makes my love for both of them easy and fluid.

As far as anti social she's not, just has few female friends. She's tries but I tried to explain to her that people want sound boards that agree with them, not actual opinions. That combined with how pretty she is, and how weirdly proper she dresses makes quite a few of my friends act very petty towards her but try explaining jealousy to a person who barely understands envy.

>>18576713
Sounds like an interesting relationship and I'm glad it works so well for you

>She's tries but I tried to explain to her that people want sound boards that agree with them, not actual opinions
Sounds extreme but I think you more or less meant that people don't like others stepping on their toes with strong opinions. I've never met anyone who's been like your girlfriend so I'm at loss. I can just say that you can't change people and mold them into something different. If she's been different when you got together then maybe there's a way to lift her up again