Porn bothers me

Porn isn't reality, even if webcams. He's probably been doing it since age 12, it doesn't phase at this point. It's almost certainly not worth the fight.

>>18573813
>What do I do?

Well, I'd start by buying a camera

>>18573813

It doesn't really make a difference that it's cam girls, it is cuckoldry either way if he's masterbating to regular pornography while dating you. You were wrong to lie to him and say it was okay but you should fix that now and give him an ultimatum.

Guys want variety in women in an almost "state of nature" way and his desire to look at other women is probably not a pathology nor is it likely that he's loosing attraction to you.

I think what you need to do is ask him why he likes cam girls in an open-minded way. Don't be too disparaging. Try to use that information to add variety to your sex life.

Is he into Asians? I'm looking for more Asian cam girls

>>18573813
>he asked me if it's okay if he watches porn
>I said yes
>I am considering breaking up with him because of this

hahahaha fucking women. He literally ASKED you and you said YES and now you want to dump him. If it wasn't okay, then fucking say NO! Jesus Christ. Have you even talked to him about it before trying to go literally meet other men??

Fuck, I hope this is bait. Bitches make me sick.

>>18573848
>even a yes is a no
I really hope OP breaks up with him so he can find someone that isn't a retard.

People have different boundaries and things they are and aren't okay with. If you're okay with him watching any type of porn, that's okay. If you aren't okay with him watching camgirls, that's okay.

How do you feel about him watching camgirls? What is it about him specifically watching camgirls that upsets you? Would you be okay with him watching other forms of porn?

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>>18573830
>ultimatum
let me guess, you're a woman

yeah go right ahead and give him an ultimatum OP. That always works out so fucking well.

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>>18573830
>it is cuckoldry either way if he's masterbating to regular pornography while dating you

>>18573863

No I'm not but a women but your probably right that portraying it as an ultimatum isn't going to be the most productive way of going about this but she still needs to either break up with him or get him to stop masterbating.

>>18573873

*even if

>>18573825
Been there
>>18573848
It's hard to talk to him because he is brief during conversation in general. That's the point, he lied to me. He insists that we are in a serious relationship and says I'm the only one he wants to look at. Yet asks this which confuses me.
I was looking because I wouldn't want to end our relationship and regret it. I feel like he is the best I can get because we get on so well.
>>18573830
I could but I don't want to seem controlling that could make me seem less attractive. Should I just ghost him?

>>18573884
>Should I just ghost him?

No that is the worst thing you could possible do, after having said its okay if he watches porn you need to at the very least give him an option to stop. Try not phrasing it like an ultimatum but make it clear your not okay with him using pornography.

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>>18573884
>I don't want my boyfriend to do something that I told him he could do
>I'm upset that he doesn't read my mind and do what I want even though it's directly opposing what I said
>Why are men so complicated

Fucking women.

>>18573861
Because I know him and he needs some sort of connection to get off. Im not sure if he still gives them money but that would be disrespectful in my eyes as he isn't even rich, so why spend it on some whore that doesn't care about him?
It's too personal because obviously all the focus is on the girl and he might be interacting with them, and he wouldn't be imagining me.

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>>18573884
>should i ghost my boyfriend that i've been dating for 2 years

wow

if i buy the rope will you livestream your pathetic suicide for me?

>>18573898
OP is suicidal and probably feels her boyfriend is all she's got giving her purpose. As a result, she's probably scared of him leaving. She could either tell him her true feelings and risk him leaving, leaving her alone (which in her mind is to be avoided at all costs) or say she was comfortable with something and hide her true feelings.

Not defending OP's actions, but I do understand how she might have come to the conclusion of doing that since she doesn't yet have the coping skills to be alone and deal with her depression on her own.

>>18573884
>Should I just ghost him?
holy fuck. jst leave him, please, let him have a chance to find someone that isnt a dumbass.

>>18573894
But if I ghost him won't he be more attached to me and hurt?
If I don't then how do I phrase it so it doesn't sound like that or subtly make him feel guilty?

>>18573884
>I was looking because I wouldn't want to end our relationship and regret it.
This is the problem with women. I'm not even going to go into why this is so fucking terrible and wrong, because it would fall on deaf ears and it's not what you're asking about, so let me just address what you're looking for.

>>18573884
>[He] says I'm the only one he wants to look at. Yet asks this
Porn isn't him cheating on you emotionally or physically. Porn is just him jerking off and immediately forgetting about the girl. Do you honestly think he gives two shits about porn on some deeper level than the 10 mins it takes to cum? He's with you, so he wants to be with you. If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't be. Stop overthinking it, stop analyzing his behavior, he's not cheating on you, I doubt he ever would cheat on you.

Let me ask you this though... now, first let me say that porn is a fun thing to watch for guys, even when they do get enough sex, it's just good to have a variety of thoughts and visions to orgasm about, but how often do you guys have sex? Do you often turn him down? Do you always do the things he likes in bed? Do you go down on him and let him cum in your mouth, etc?

>>18573912
you have bpd lol

>>18573884
>we are in a serious relationship and says I'm the only one he wants to look at. Yet asks this which confuses me.
It's just porn. What the fuck is wrong with you? I bet if he ever said he liked an actress on TV, you'd probably punch the TV if you ever saw her.

>>18573909
OP here, this.

>>18573904
>I know him and he needs some sort of connection to get off.
How do you know this?

Instead of giving your boyfriend an ultimatum, I would just talk to him and tell him how you feel about this. You don't even say "hey, stop this behavior or I'll leave." Just express your feelings, and give him a chance to express his feelings. When he expresses his feelings, trust him. He is your boyfriend and you do your best to trust him until something undeniable happens to break that trust. You've put two years into this relationship--that means something. That means both of you at least try to make this work, and you don't do that by ghosting him.

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>>18573912
>But if I ghost him won't he be more attached to me and hurt?

>>18573912
this has got to be bait.
this is a bait thread right?

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>be OP
>have a boyfriend that respects you enough to tell you about how he masturbates to camgirls and asks you if you're okay with that
>tell him you are
>get mad when he keeps up that behavior now that you've given him your approval
>consider ghosting him
Holy shit. Even if this is bait, I'm having a blast here. Godspeed OP.

>>18573930
>>18573930
My bet, it's a man who's emulating the generic woman to give us men a good laugh and maybe wake some women up.

>>18573912

If this is how you act then you're in an abusive relationship and YOU'RE the abusive one. It is not acceptable for you to try to intentionally hurt someone you claim to care about to get your way in the relationship.

Try having a serious conversation with him about how much him using pronography bothers you, don't tell him he has to stop but put him in a situation where he will probably offer to do so. If he doesn't then talk to him about it again in a similar way and ask him to stop, if he doesn't again then talk to him a third time about it and give him an ultimatum.

Dude porn is just a way people just get rid of their like random erections or spits of horniness. There's no reason for you to feel bad. if anything watching porn is a chore for most men who are in a relationship I find. We don't watch porn because the girl we know irl isn't satisfying us, we watch porn because it's annoying constantly feeling like you need to have sex every 30 seconds. A lot of women blame themselves for this cause they think they haven't satisfied their man or whatever but that isn't the case. Trust me if I could lose interest in porn I would but jacking off is just something I have to do every now and then whether I like it or not.

>>18573918
I would be if it was someone I could hardly compete with. I know I should talk to him about this but we talk about emotions a lot and I don't like initiating anything. I just want him to think im perfect.
I don't understand how guys can have a fap like that. I can't watch porn because I have to fantasize about someone who in my mind would only think about me(aka my bf).
Now I am having a hard time being aroused at all because of this. Am supposed to grow out of this?

>>18573954
>I would be if it was someone I could hardly compete with
>I just want him to think im perfect
This is actually getting kind of spooky now. You sound like you have serious issues.

>>18573954
And I guess that one of my fears is him finding a girl prettier than me or even worse becoming attached to her and not forgetting about that one girl that was better than me.

What could your boyfriend do to make you feel more secure in your relationship?

>>18573972
Be more vulnerable around me.

>>18573968
I'll give you a little genuine help form experience here.

Guys won't just leave if they find someone prettier, it has to be someone they like as well. And one thing that can push a guy away at lightening speed is shit like what you're doing. You're being manipulative, saying one thing and thinking the other, have a complex that you must be better than everyone and overall immature.

Guys hate this shit. Want to be perfect? Don't be a lunatic that hates porn and hates him finding other women attractive. That pushes guys away fast since extreme jealously is incredibly unattractive.

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>>18573976
For further manipulation, if this thread is anything to go by.

I'm out of here. I sincerely hope your boyfriend leaves you for someone that isn't batshit crazy.

>>18573976
How do you imagine your boyfriend being more vulnerable around you? How is he currently not measuring up to what you want/need?

>>18573986
by not bending to her will and being pushed into doing things out of fear that she'll leave him.

All men will watch porn, whether they are dating or married. At least he admits to it.

Porn is Not cheating. It's part of masturbation. It's like if you had a big dildo that you use

>>18573813
>had enough respect to ask you
>said yes
>comes to tell adv its actually no

Wtf girl. You told him its ok. If you have a problem with cam whores thats a line you should have drawn.

Youve given him carte blanche and in his head hes done his due diligence in asking you and whats hes doing is totally fine.

Tell him you arent comfortable with cam girls.

Or try and accept its just more interactive porn.

The above is up to you really.

I like porn, my wifes fine, i dont like cams, which works out because my wife finds that to be borderline cheating because that would mean im actually interacting with a woman.

Her and my opinions dont actually matter here because the main bulletpoint that xoes is i know *what makes her uncomfortable and why*. Because shes smart enough to just not vaguely say "yeah porns cool". Its called communication.

>>18574004
Yes but I've given him permission to cheat and he said he would never do that. I gave him permission for porn before and he said the same basically. How else am I supposed to test him? He expects me not to cheat and I don't as he has made it clear he wants to be the only one I think about too.

>>18573981
This. Thousands of studies on infidelity.

In most cases looks were not a factor. Its 9/10 something missing im the relationship. The spark, the romance, maybe the partner has a quality the cheater hates and he met someone who has the opposite quality and lead to a rabbit hole of building tension.

Also in most cases it wasnt because they didnt love their partner. They report they do full well, but found themselves in a situation they lost control of.
Also note cheating is equal for men and women. Men arent the insatiable sex pigs tv makes them out to be. A few men are, and its enough to feed confirmation bias that its the truth.

5 year relationship. Married. Happy. Left home for 6 months to work. Often invited to strip clubs and never went. Could have easily cheated if i wanted but never even began to try. I could have gotten away with anything.

Im decent looking at i have tinder (with my partners knowledge. Shes fine with it because she trusts me.) ive matched hotter girls than my girlfriend. I dont even say hello, my reaction is usually more along the lines of "lawl! Score! Next."

>>18574044
>How else am I supposed to test him
I gave you the benefit of a doubt but I officially think this is bait

>>18573985
>implying that's possible.

>>18574044

Why would you give permission for things you dont want. What kind of logic is that?

Why not pick a good man and trust? Trust means you dont and cant know everything but you give benefit of the doubt. Not "ive installed a camera in his asshole and confirmed hes good".

Relationships are built on trust and communication. As in just trust you picked a good one, and openly tell him what you do and do not like.

I promise, PROMISE if you keep that attitude, keep misleading, keep testing, and keep permitting him to do shit you dont like, your relationship will crash burn and fail whether he ever cheats or not.

>>18573813
Only women come up with bullshit like this.

>>18574069
How so?

>>18574069
No lie. I had a friend who was a lesbian and I didnt know. She told.me a story about her "boyfriend". Said he got some girl to approach her at the bar and flirt with her to test her.

Me: ".......are you dating a woman?"
Her: "omg! How did you find that out youre so smart!"


....im not smart by the way..

>>18573813

Happily married almost 10 years and been looking at camwhores the whole time. Believe me it's nothing. Guys biologically want to look at girls.. I like to look at lowly sluts degrade themselves. At MOST I'll jerk off to the same girl 2+3 times...but my wife is my queen, and I never get bored of fucking her.

You've got 'grass is green' syndrome. Be wary of a guy that doesn't look at porn..he'll either cheat on you or he has low testostoron.

>>18574075
Because only girls spend all day pretending everything is cool and telling their boyfriends everythings fine and let them carry on their merry way then go to her friends (or adv) and bitch that its not ok and hes ruining everything and failing your dumb tests while he totally thinks everythings fine.

>>18574092
When you're depressed and terrified of your partner leaving and perceive it to be the end of your world, it can be paralyzing trying to tell your partner how you really feel about things. Every time you want to bring up something that bothered you, you think he'll leave. You think he'll come to his senses, see you for the inferior scum you are, and find someone, anyone, better than you.

Not saying what OP did was right, but I definitely empathize with her. I've done the same thing. I didn't have the communication skills or courage to express my thoughts, wants, and feelings, and it took a long time for that to change.

>>18574084
Yeah I've noticed that the guys who almost treat me the way I want and claim not to watch porn are psychopaths or just pussies, and they're usually ugly. I wish my boyfriend was a little more clingy to me almost like that.
It bothers me that all men are like that I think I am almost redpilled on dating.
But I hate that I love him. He is the best I have met(we both have good genes)and I want to have his kids. But I just couldn't deal with being that paranoid if we got married.
I am actually considering just having his kids and leaving him at this point.

>>18574105
In that case you needed help. Possibly from a doctor.

Not even in a judgemental way, i had shit, i used a doctor, its all good now.

But honestly. Op didnt come in here acknowledging a problem and asking how to control herself. Nor did she say shes too scared to talk to him. She flat out said shes testing him, and in her world, thats the normal and right thing to do, and shes going to sink her relationship like that. Its a self fulfilling prophecy.

Shes a problem. She can get better, sure, but she is 100% without a doubt a problem in her own relationship and she needs to work on it or seek a professional.

And if we werent here telling her she was wrong she might continue to think she was right. And the ball rests in her court, and frankly, if she doesnt do anything to fix this, then it *is* her fault. Fully. Especially with the medical technology and help thats out there.

>>18574128
I feel confident saying that if OP admitted she is suicidal and, in her mind, he is the best thing she has, that would definitely color her interactions with him. She seemed to agree with my perspective >>18573909.

However, she definitely needs to work on her attitude--the severe insecurity and jealousy over other women she feels are more attractive than her. She also needs help to learn there's more to her than her physical looks, and just because some woman somewhere is prettier doesn't make her inferior

>>18574148
>implying suicidal people have rational agency.

>>18574180
My own experience has possibly made me a bit too optimistic and idealistic, but I have hope that OP can change and get through the worst of her depression as I did. However, I also believe that depression for each person, and I am not OP so it would be silly to actually expect her to deal with the depression the same way I did.

>>18574126

No offense but it sounds like you may have some other problems..and should appreciate your guy for putting up with that.

You're going to have to find a way to accept their will be other girls hotter than you. My wife is in her 30s now and showing signs of aging..she now puts on makeup (never did before), and she feels terrible if she can't get up early enough to put on her makeup before going out.

I know she'll never be as hot as a 20 year old punk girl again..but that's fine. I love her, we are always there for each other, and in the bedroom our sex of hotter than ever before. 9+ years in and we are pretty much comfortable with anything in bed, and we dont judge each other on weird fetishes cause we are family after all.

>>18573813
unless your bf is a delusional autist, there's no reason to feel jealous of a woman on his screen who has thousands of fans chatting her up.

>why does he like them and not normal porn
because normal porn is gross and unrealistic. Camgirls are interactive and fun. Even then, they're just acting and your bf knows that. You shouldn't be jealous of a character. Humans naturally want to look at what's appealing. Let's be realistic: Do you honestly believe he instantly lost all attraction to any woman the second he started dating you?

no, and it'll never go away. I hate to he so blunt, but thats the way it works. You cant block out human nature. However, he has self control and isn't delusional, so you have nothing to worry about

>I am suicidal
get help.

>>18573813
He didn't just start watching porn, he's been watching since before you met. Nothing has changed and you shouldn't worry.