Envy

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University student in his early 20s reporting in.

I have never being extremely envious but this month has really been a struggle for me. I lurk and post in one of the discord (online chat) servers with around 15 people who post regularly. They (not "we" because I tremble every time I try to type something about anything in chat) often discuss things that happened with them IRL. Someone broke up with their fiance, someone has found a new job, moved somewhere or some event occurred in their lives.

My main concern is that this month, I've started getting more and more envious of absolutely every miniscule thing they tell about their real life. One guy told a story how he was hanging out with his friends and some moron stubbed him in a leg. AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT! I got jealous as hell. I haven't had a single friend and/or even an acquaintance from non-professional background for more than 5 years. I don't go out anywhere anytime because I'm scared of people shitless. And since he got stabbed, I got envious because something happened in his life... I'm being authentic...

And it gets even more ridiculous. Every single tiny detail they disclose gets me resentful and extremely sad because my life is almost completely empty. Most of the time I can't get the negative thoughts out of head for weeks because of this. The only things I do is attend classes, work a part-time job and sit at the computer 24/7.

I intend on changing my life completely this Fall semester - going to work on my social skills, get better at grooming/clothing, start lifting for self-confidence AND health (it might help to balance some chemicals in my brain, so they say), going to join all the possible clubs at my uni...

But other than that... I don't know what else to do... Yes, I might get a few hobbies like playing an instrument and doing other stuff; however, I don't believe I'll ever be happy even after doing so.

Not sure what advice I'm looking for but thank you regardless.