Post-oneitis

>>18572397
You move on

I've had three major oneitis cases (still in one) but I still look back at the crushes that came before. All men get compared to those two.

>>18572414
then you have a problem

>>18572397
Nah. I always end up depressed and with regrets after oneitis when it predictably doesn't work out. The last two girls I've had it for were initially interested but I came on way too strong and they ended up moving on.

I've moved on but never found happiness.

Finding another person is the only way to get over it. There's trillions of people in this world.. why be hung up on that one cunt.

>>18572397

I don't dwell on it. But I can say that she hurt me so I can't trust women emotionally anymore.

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>>18572601
>why be hung up on that one cunt.

She's perfect ;_;

>>18572612

She isn't though. It's a pretty shitty feeling, I've been there myself.. but depending how social you are and how often you go out, you will meet someone more perfect than her. Trust me.

>>18572612
>She's perfect
No, your fantasy of her is perfect. You're idealizing her and if you got into a relationship with her you would probably come to resent her as you went through the process of realizing she could never live up to the fantasy you imagined.

>>18572612
She's not perfect, no one is. She has tons of flaws, you only think she's so great because you hate yourself.

>>18572643
No idealization. She's been my friend for a while. I know what she likes and doesn't like. She's great and down to earth.

>>18572644
>She's not perfect, no one is. She has tons of flaws

It's more like her flaws are perfectly acceptable to me. So she needs braces. Big deal.

>>18572650
There are other flaws besides braces. The fact that you mentioned braces proves that you only care about physical attraction anyway. There are women who are prettier than her. If you find her attractive you'll find other girls attractive. And the other anon is right, you DO have an idealized version of her, she's not the way you picture her in your mind.
Either way, if she's so perfect as you say, are you perfect enough for her? Why do you think she should go with someone like you? Just because you like her?

>>18572650
>No idealization. She's been my friend for a while. I know what she likes and doesn't like. She's great and down to earth.
Knowing someone as a friend and being intimately involved in a romantic relationship is two different things altogether. You're idealizing how your life as a couple would be. Have you even asked this girl out?

all the girls i liked or i thought i loved were just obvious cases of oneitis. spent 25 years like this and one day i met someone and things went really great and then i understood how it felt to love and feel loved. stay away from girls you can't get.

>>18572662
How do you know you can't get a certain girl?

>>18572654
>The fact that you mentioned braces proves that you only care about physical attraction anyway.

I also said she's down to earth in response to the other dude.

>Either way, if she's so perfect as you say, are you perfect enough for her? Why do you think she should go with someone like you? Just because you like her?

That's the problem but that's going out of the oneitis issue.

>>18572657
Yep. It blew up in my face. She took something really badly, and couldn't forgive me for it.

>>18572663
when she doesn't give a flying fuck about you.

>>18572670
Have you tried?

>>18572670

But it's still confusing dude, in the back of my mind I feel this girl is using me as a buddy, even shows held my hand, gave me a kiss on my lips, I just...don't know...

She always asks when are we meeting up next and I've been on 2 dates...but....I just dunno

When we are together everything is great when we aren't together, and I text her barely a conversation really. So weird

Should I just spill my guts and see what the response is or is that too dumb and quick after 2 dates?

>>18572664
Why do you even want someone who doesn't like you? Fuck her.
Who cares if she's down to earth? A lot of girls are. Who cares if she's attractive? A lot of girls are. Whatever you like about her, someone else has it and it's probably better.

>>18572677

*Even she's held my hand

>>18572672
so many times and realized i've been on the wrong path my whole life. find someone who you can like and who can potentially like you. that's how actual relationships start. you'll even realize there are girls who might have a crush on you which happened to me after breaking the circle and be rid of oneitis. i was asked out a couple of times and even realized how many girls hit on me while i was "in love" with girls who didn't give a rat's ass about my existence. do yourself a favour and do what i did. stay away from oneitis.

>>18572670
In my case the girl switches between giving half a fuck and not giving a flying fuck about me. Not OP here.

>>18572677

Oh also I'm not OP

I totally and personally 100% ruined it myself with my oneitis by being a piece of shit, so I only look back with regret. A big plus though is that I made sure I've done better in every relationship afterwards.

>>18572677
you are being used because she's aware of the situation and uses you when she is alone. dump her.

>>18572689
This.
Sorry OP but this is the way normies do it. It's not pretty, it's not romantic, it's not like the movies and maybe it's not for everyone. Normies won't even accept that this is how real life works even though it's what they do. They just lie to themselves anyway.
>meet girls, pick one who's even remotely attractive
>flirt some shit and ask her out
>if she says no you move on to the next one. if she says maybe, you take it as a no and move on to the next one
>if she says yes you date. if the date fails you move on to the next one and forget about her
>if the dating works out you tell yourself "this girl is the one, this is love" and pretend you love her
That's it.

>>18572698
>inb4 not true because I know this particular case about some friends that became a couple and that totally proves you wrong even though it's just an anecdote that happens once every 10000 people

>>18572695

You say dump her, but I haven't even asked her to be my girlfriend, after our first date I did say after a few hours that I really like you and she said she likes me too.

Then we met the 2nd time a few days ago and it was even better, she paid for my and her Uber home. (No sex yet, although it has been implied)

Does that change anything?

>>18572677
You should listen to your instincts but I know you're in the grip of oneitis so you're going to cling to any reason to hope. If you want to see where you stand with her, next time you spend time together don't try to spill your guts or confess. Try to escalate physically with her as if she's already your girlfriend. Try to kiss her, feel her up. If she stops you, that tells you where you stand. Walk away and don't look back or resign yourself that your friends and don't let her cross the line anymore. If she can get the benefits of your attention without "giving it up" so to speak she's using you.

>>18572679
Well, if I have to make a list

>beautiful face
>down to earth
>likes telling jokes (even though most of them are not funny)
>can sing
>brown (SE Asian)
>petite but that's ok
>t h i c c

>>18572712
2 flaws: petit (you say "but") and not funny.
The rest are things that I can point out in many girls. You'll find a better one. Hell you may even find someone that has new traits you didn't know you liked.
Either way, if she doesn't like you there's nothing you can do so just look for someone else. You think that from all the billions of girls in the world you just found the single most best girl in the whole world?

>>18572718
She's already perfect for me. I know not all people have the same tastes. I've shown her pic to some of my other guy friends and it's actually rarer they say she looks beautiful. More often, she's average or slightly pretty.

Honestly breaks my heart she hates me now.

>>18572723
She's not perfect for you because she doesn't like you and it's not your fault. People randomly like and dislike each other romantically. What's the point of liking someone who doesn't like you back?
Btw do you have other stuff going on in your life? Hobbies? Interests? It's common that you feel bad when chasing a girl is the only thing you do in your life. You must find new activities that let you meet new girls. Btw, the whole crush/oneitis thing has been documented by some chick who's name I forgot and it's proven that you can easily switch your crush from one person to another. I've tried it and it's true. So if you wanna try that, think of a girl you know that you have chances with and convince yourself that she's great, try to force yourself to have a crush on her. Sure, the crush problem remains but at least now it's someone that you don't know if she doesn't like you yet.

>>18572730
>Btw do you have other stuff going on in your life? Hobbies? Interests? It's common that you feel bad when chasing a girl is the only thing you do in your life.

I agree. Working a job right now. Will be trying to get back to school for my post-grad degree.

I didn't like her when I first saw her, honestly. Thought she was cute but not drop dead gorgeous. Her personality won me over.

When I asked her out, I thought we should give it a try. The way it went was we were sort of friends but we just weren't jiving so I thought just say it. Told her I liked her and she mistook something I said and got mad. It took like a week before she talked to me again and it just wasn't the same after that.

I guess what really made me think about her since then was the fact we did break our friendship, for how shallow it was, over that. I just wanted to bring that back, even if she didn't want to be my gf, because, while I could accept her not wanting to be my gf, I just couldn't have her hating me.

I tried really hard to the point it ate me.

>>18572704
this doesn't seem like an oneitis tho