GIOYC

By the time you realise it will be too late. I might not be there but it will be grand none the less.

i love you blake. everything feels weird without you or anybody around. I miss my mom and dad. in case i die i love you.

>>18572008
The nightmare week from hell is about to start. Jesus, what a sick fucking joke this world is. I swear someone or something hates me, how else would everything I worked for collapse in an instant. I don't want to sit back and watch this shit happen. Someone give me the strength to endure this hell.

>>18572008
Jung, I miss talking to you. It's a shame that circumstances made us stop. If you read this, hello and I hope you had a good birthday.

I frequently yearn to reverse the clock and go back to the time this all started. I would've never stuck my hands down my throat. I would have started eating healthy and working out. I would've been more loving towards my great grandmother. I wouldn't try to eat my feelings and hate myself every day. I would have been better.
I would've never done this to myself... But you're stupid when you're 12. I didn't realize this would have become a lifelong choice. To destroy my body and rewire my brain to think of food 24/7. I'm thinner now then I was then. I guess that's bad right? That I'm smaller than my 12-year old self?
This has become my identity and I hate it. I don't want this anymore.

Haley

You make me feel so comfortable, that's why I can talk to you. No one else has made me feel that way. I wish things could have turned out differently. I fell in love with you. And it hurts so fucking much.

Kyle

>>18572099

I think I have a thing for batshit insane feminist women.

Sean, I like you, and you not rejecting me made it increase tenfold. I promise I won't let you down.

i told a fucking mate of mine (who is interested in another friend of mine.), that the friend (lets call them friend 2) was basically cucking them (even though they weren't technically dating. they were going to 'trial it out' tho.) and then i let a whole bunch of what was on my mind on them. and i feel very fucking bad and im kinda worried that they may do something bad to themselves, lol. (the shit that was on my mind was suicide.) i also was writing my last fucking letter, but then i done the cliche thing and talked to one of the people who i actually care about and love. and they changed my mind w/o even knowing, altho when i asked for the phone they asked 'are you calling the suicide hotline?'. so like the fucking cunt i am i lied and i said 'no'. another thing on my mind is, is that i dont have any fucking friends outside of the internet because of my social anxiety. i keep on wondering if im socially retarded or some stupid shit. and im sitting here worried that my friend might do something stupid. (online friend, aka friend 1.) and im looking for more friends online, lol. i apologize about how all over the show my post is, im on melatonin and i have a whole lot of shit on my mind. seeing as i was going to off myself maybe tonight i doubt ill do it cos im a pussy and i ranted. thanks for listening /adv/.

I love Poppy

>>18572238
poppy is fucking amazing, dude.

I want to fuck my therapist.

>>18572288
I'm meeting her in November and I've never been so excited in my life

I didn't take my chance. She was the most perfect, noble amazing girl I saw. She was a stranger and she showed a big interest in me.

Just one day too late. She was a tourist and she's gone forever now. I don't even know her name. I had never felt such admiration for anyone else before. It almost hurts me quite a lot.

I fucked up, I lied about messaging girls (nothing bad, just I didn't want to seem like I was even bothering with others), I watched porn which you said u hated and I told people about our issues that you wanted to be kept secret.
You're the best thing to ever happen to me, hands down, but now you say I wasted the past years. We had fun, we went overseas together, but now you say you hate it all.

What hurts most isn't that we're breaking up, but that you said you regret the time together.

I have never been more attracted to someone in my life. Every minute I spend with you is my favorite minute of the day; just being around you makes me happy. If you feel something for me, please tell me.

you are too fucking cute. like, i held back on kissing you.

In retrospect, the first time I saw what kind of man you are is when I should have cut you out of my life and went alone. Instead I poured everything I had into you. You kept taking, leaching, lying and gaslighting. You said you kept the real you hidden from my view so I wouldn't get attached. I saw through your manipulation and denial. All the criticisms and deluded thinking you projected was nothing but a ruse, a diversion from the fact that you'd embraced what you preached against. Be honest...Does a bear shit in the woods?

>>18572008
You are going to get a cease and desist letter on you new job. If your boss sees it and decides to let you go, that's your fault.

I always thought I was pretty good at finding the good people and knowing who's worth my time. But now I severely doubt this and it's scary. She was so nice, felt genuinely kind and caring and was in so many ways everything I could have ever wanted. We both confessed, and after that everything just changed. Out of nowhere. Completely. I have no idea what the hell is wrong with her now, but she's suddenly the rudest bitch at everyone and keeps ignoring me and being cold. She has been flirty with this one dude though, and if she just simply fell for someone else, I'd understand that. I don't even mind that much never getting to date her, I just don't get the sudden 180 personality change. It scares me. How can I know what anyone is like if they can suddenly flip on me like this and become a completely different person? I've known her for more than a year so it's not like her kindness was just a first impression either.

>>18572363

Nope it's definitely that you say you still love me that hurts most.

>>18572238
She embodies the downfall of humanity.

Sometimes you hear people say "Everything in my life feels good, but it feels like something is missing"

What if you feel like everything is missing? Nothing in my life feels right, nothing is how I want it to be. The person I want to be is pretty much the opposite of what I am now

Sometimes I try to make a change, but I just get overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to fix, which is pretty much everything.

I feel hopeless at times, stuck in a life I dont want to be in because of bad decisions in the past. I dont even know if I can ever turn it all around

>>18572538
Doing everything at once is always overwhelming. Pick one thing to work on. Doing one will make you feel satisfied and with more energy to work on the others.

Z,
I want you but I don't want your sexual history. You fucking J while you were both married for drugs, more than once, is fucking disgusting, I'm sorry. Thats the real reason I left. I can over look the years of heroin abuse and maybe even you having a child with the woman I hate. But some of the people you've fucked...does not work for me. Maybe if we did stuff other than go to the bar at night. Or you coming over drunk and extremely loud and interrupting me in every sentence didnt happen. But dude I wish it would have worked out. Im truly sorry. I just need better romance in my life.

I wish she'd stop loving me

>>18572008
Time heals all wounds. It's only been 3 months since we broke up? You refused to speak to me blocked me on everything even your mom blocked me. It was so heartbreaking to see you gone.

And now all I can think is how long will it be before I can try to be in your life again? Never? I hope not. I care about you, but I understand your choice.

This just sucks.

I hate trannies and I hope they all die from their brittle bones snapping and tearing through their skin so they bleed out

>>18572435
Learn how to identify mental illness within people. The ones to looks out for are histrionics, narcissists, sociopaths and borderlines. These kinds of people can annihilate your soul if you let them too close to you.

Im social enought to get girls interested in me but im too socially retarded to ask them out

I... hate the mentally retarded.

>>18572764

same, I posted about it here:

>>18572733

>>18572008
Val

You loved me like no one ever has. You always wanted to be with me, and when you were, you wanted to always be right next to me, touching me or holding me. You gave me all that, and we had our first time together, only two months after we met in college. I didn't feel like I was late to sex, it felt right with you. We both had felt a bit like the odd one out before, but together we clicked so well. Or we seemed to. I was always wanting to do something else, to go hang out with my friends, or go play videogames or play the drums, I ignored you sometimes, I stood you up once, you cried. It seemed like I couldn't find that spark, that feeling of intense love within me, like you did for me.

So I cheated on you, many times, I went looking for trills, and you were always waiting for me, you never got really mad at me or threatened to leave, you just took it. But I see now I was slowly putting out that flame, I remember how your expression towards me changed throughout the years. Slowly, your eyes didn't light up like before, you didn't get excited to see me anymore, but you were still there, and I still couldn't see what I was doing. I continued to cheat and even asked you for an open relationship, so I could keep doing it guilt-free and still have you there, while implying that I didn't care if you were with someone else.

So you did find someone, but you weren't honest about it, you hid it until I found out, by snooping on your accounts, nontheless. I found out, drove to your school (which was no longer my school simply because I dropped out) I was enraged, and told you right there in the middle of campus, I wanted to have my little drama right there, I made a point of breaking up with you then, but I was just trying to get you to say you'd stop seeing him, but you had enough, you weren't going to come back with me.

And you didn't, it's been over a year, and I still haven't gotten back on my feet. It's just gotten worse.

Is it normal to have rape fantasies after having been raped?

I'm concerned about my mental health. What is wrong with me?

>>18572786
cont.

I chose to keep seeing you, I knew you were with him, you made sure everyone knew on your social networks. But I missed you and you still agreed to come see me. So the cheating and lying didn't stop. But now you have your degree, so does he, and you moved with him to another country, you came to see me the day before you left, we had sex, we tried to make it as rough as when we were teenagers, and then you were gone. Back then you were the sweet girlfriend every guy would dream of, you were giving your first love to me. I could never do the same, and for years you waited for me to really care about you. And even after that, I still have the gull to feel angry, hurt, to feel like this was some tragedy brought upon me, when I very clearly never loved you like you loved me. I had a future with you, and in that school, but I dropped out and you worked for years to get what you're getting now. And I'm terrified, I can't fucking move, I can't make any decision or make any progress, I'm where I was when I met you, no money, no job, no degree, and I still feel like it's some injustice that you got what you worked for and I'm still just here pestering in my regret, I never thought I'd fall so far behind, I thought I was some smart guy. I miss you Val, I did love you, but I only felt that until after you left.

Can't stop laffin

no man or god can save me

If you don't accept me into your life, I swear to whoever is out there that I will end it all. You are my refuge, if you take yourself away from me, I will pay you back with my own death. I have no other options, my life has gone so downhill, and you are the reason why I even still choose to live. If you think I'm being dramatic, then fuck off, you don't know me at all.

>>18572957
initials?

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>>18572957
that sounds like the lyrics of a previously unreleased linkin park song. should use more caps, though.
>YOU DONT KNOW ME AT AAAAALLLLL

It's too bad we hadn't met under better circumstances.
It's a shame I can't get past your cognitive dissonance.
I get that demonizing me probably makes you feel better, and I get that misremembering the genuine moments we shared helps you cope.

I still care for you though. Maybe you don't want the full story. It's not my place to decide if the harsh truth is better to know than the comfortable lie you tell yourself.

I wish we could have worked something out.

I loved you.

When I was young I used to fall in love with impossible people: characters from books or cartoons, or dreamed-up lovers. Now as an adult I fall only for emotionally unavailable men, or men who are not interested in me, or men who are not interested in me, emotionally unavailable and live far, far away. You know, it's really not a good situation.

>>18573042
Saaame.

>>18572796
What's wrong is that you were raped.

Now, terrible things happen to people, and it can leave its marks. Talk to a therapist, this is probably one of those marks. A school therapist, hire someone, just someone with a license, training, and who can help

>>18572668
Why?

>>18573042

good luck ever finding an "emotionally available" man LOL

the men you find online who are "emotionally available" to you are only available to you because they spend all day on the internet dissociating from the real women present in their lives

masculinity is desolate wasteland

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I'm 24, almost 25. I'll be almost 26 when I graduate with my B.S. in Physics. I have no job (because learning Physics means a lot of studying - my research isn't helping, either. Ditto, prepping for GREs) though I do have work history. I don't know if I should work for a year or go straight to Grad School. I want to go to Grad School for at least a Master's emphasizing Computational Physics, preferably a PhD for the same. I live with a hoarder.

I don't find many women attractive (they're pretty or whatever - a good butt/bust/face/whatever is always good - but I'm not attracted to them), and the ones I do find attractive are seemingly so far apart it's nonsensical. I'm thinking the area I live in doesn't help with that, nor does my major.

I don't know. I've only had one girlfriend, and it was a woman I was deeply attracted to. We were together for 3.5 years, but ultimately it wasn't quite what either of us wanted. She was the one who got the dating wheels turning. The problem to me is that now I know much more of what I want, but combined with my (student) schedule, no job = no money, potentially going to grad school, introversion, and who I do/don't find attractive, the near and far future where I can afford my own place and hobbies feels both lonely and very distant.

I don't know, some days the struggle of it all doesn't feel worth it. Sure, statistically "we're all going to make it", but I'm a physics major. I deal with statistics.

>>18573053
It's humiliating.

>>18573205

hey bro, don't worry too much about the age, you still have an entire life ahead of you

the fact that you study physics means that you're at least (very) smart, future employers are always interested in smart people. I know a guy who studied physics and is now involved in banking security and making serious money

if you ever feel it's getting too much don't be afraid to talk to a professional

keep it up

I don't want to be depressed today.
I don't think these meds are working anymore.

A girl I talked to for about a year almost everyday just ghosted me out of nowhere and I feel so fucking shitty /adv/
She hadn't talked to me in a week and then now she hasn't been online in almost 2 days.
I'm worried but at the same time I feel really hurt. She probably is just out having fun and forgetting about me yeah? Do I have the right to feel hurt or worried even? feelsfuckingbadman
Also it has to be on my day off so I get to spend all day just worrying instead of at least being distracted by work.

I met this girl from tinder and after about 2 weeks of talking and meeting we had sex. Something about it just isn't sitting right with me. She's attractive, sure, but I can't help but feel like it was rushed and now I don't want to pursue anything further with her. It's not like the sex was bad, and she really seemed into it. I don't regret it per se, but I don't know how to feel about it. I feel like maybe I'm not completely over my ex of 3 years and I rushed into to this subconsciously thinking it would help speed up the process. Ugh I don't know what to think or feel and I don't want to be a dick to this girl. I don't want her to feel like I just used her for a quick lay because that wasn't my intention, but idk. It's all so weird. My I just don't need to be pursuing women right now.

>>18573208
I understand, but it's not your fault you were raped. It is a crime, after all.

The therapist will not think so, and even if they did, IF they even so much as communicate that you should feel ashamed, they can be in incredibly serious trouble (losing their job, etc.). No, your therapist won't say anything.

Nor will anyone else. I cannot think of anybody that is "human" (monsters aside) that would think less of someone for going to see a therapist over such a serious trauma such as that.

Again, there is no weakness in seeing a therapist. We see General Practitioners and Specialists of all kinds for what physically ails us. Well, we have such healers for what mentally troubles us, too. The only people who truly can say "tough it out" to us are those of the medical professions, and that's only after they have diagnosed us.

Please, there is comparatively little to lose, and your mental health/peace of mind to gain.

>>18573218
Thank you. Sometimes, I really think I should (see that help). Other times, I really think that it's just me being cognitive dissonance with my current position in life and where I want to be, and that it'll be much more reasonable once I'm out of where I live now, with that degree, and employed/in grad school.

The dating/attraction/loneliness thing, though, is much more of a deep fear, and that's not so simple to work out. I'm afraid that it won't really be resolved at least until the above is settled, if not resolved.

>>18572008
Listen I don't know if I'm crazy but I've been feeling so guilty can someone help me please

I'm 18 and about 3 months ago my girl left me
I'm not here to cry saying I'm missing her
Little background she has major depression and anxiety
We took each other's virginities

So we dated for maybe 7 months
And when we'd hang out I'd normally make a move for sex, get rejected then try again in a few minutes if that makes sense

Normally we'd do stuff and she always enjoyed it and seemed like she wanted it

She texted me one day saying she felt used cause of this and it was over
No second chance
Nothing

She got a new guy maybe 3 weeks later
It hurts to see her
She totally ghosted me
Told me I put her in therapy

Idk it's just a mess
I tried apologizing no luck
Haven't talked to her since she got her new guy

Help please

>>18573037
I've wanted the truth from the beginning

>>18573302
It was years ago. I should be over it by now.
But I can't forget it. I feel lost and crazy. I'm the anon that vents about my eating disorder. I can't talk about this to anyone who knows who I am. I feel like a broken toy. Nobody wants to know about this stuff. I've been through hell and back and hell has a name. And I'll never get justice for what he did.

>>18573411
Hey anon it's alright that you're not over it
It's traumatic and I'm really sorry you had to deal with that shit
It's honestly horrible and I wish you the best of luck
You probably should get a therapist by the way, it can only help you get over something like that

I'm even considering getting one
I'm >>18573320 btw

My story isn't as bad as yours
I just can't live with the guilt of hurting someone I love on accident like that

Best of luck

>>18573320
Did she go into detail as to why she feels like you used her?

>>18573323
Same asf

Fuck you Rahne

>>18573411
In sorry. There may never be justice for what he did in this world; this world is unfair and not all crimes are caught. However, that monstrous deed was done. It is over. It is time to try to move on and heal. Please, do not mistake me as saying he's beyond justice, that there's nothing to be done about that, etc. There may be. However, that is not specifically part of this conversation. What is a part is trying to move on as best as can be done.

You are not a "broken toy". You are a worthwhile human being. Damaged? Perhaps, but we all are, and that's ok. Besides, many things can be healed. We all have scars, where the wound did not heal perfectly to what it was before, but only survivors have scars.

I'm just clumsy words on your screen for all you know of me, but I'm sorry you went through what you did. I'm sorry that they did what they did. But at some point, it'll be best to move on from this past event. It doesn't have to be today, tomorrow, or this decade. However, the longer you let this wound fester, the more damage it'll do to your life, making it harder to live as you dream to. Please, for your own sake, see some help.

>>18573037
Do you still love them? It's never too late

>>18572363

we have a lot in common anon

>>18573440
She felt used because in the beginning of a date she'd say she didn't want sex

Then I might make an advancement and she'd say no then I might try again and she'd go for it, that's that she told me

I feel horrible about it now and I'm pretty sure she hates me

>>18573460
I think you made her feel guilty not to try stuff that you want so bad. I had it with my bf.

>>18573465
Maybe
In fact that does sound pretty logical

I just wish I could fix this
Or even talk to her but I don't know how

I tried apologizing

>>18573470
Apologize not for her feelings but for actions that might been wrong, it makes difference.

>>18573476
I told her I was really sorry for what I did
I took complete responsibility for everything
I made a huge apology and she just said it was insincere

I spent nearly a week writing it all out

Then she got a new boyfriend
Haven't spoken since

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This type of ending fucking sucks. I thought you were interested in me but shit, just my luck. You broke your foot and quit your job right after that. Now you don't respond to my messages nor my texts though a few weeks prior you did... I know I should get over you but fuck it hurts to think what could have been.

my mom and dad have been married to each other since the early 90s. no previous marriages or anything. dad had vasectomy in early 2000s.

was informed today that my mom is pregnant

i'm almost 20 years old

>>18573460
>>18573465 anon makes a good point. When a girl says no to sex she expects that to be the end of the conversation. When you advanced again she most likely felt as if you didn't care about her or her feelings, that you only cared about yourself and getting your dick wet. Even if you apologize, it isn't going to change her mind. Chances are likely she told all of this information from her perspective to the new guy and he influenced her further to ghost you. He probably doesn't push her boundaries like you did. Realize what you did, grieve, and move on. If she wants to talk to you she will reach out. You bombarding her isn't going to help. It proves to her what she experienced from her point of view is right.

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God /adv/; fuck shitty friends

Was with this girl on a low-key relationship, the only one who knew was this great friend of mine

Lo and behold, I kinda went our separate ways due to me moving out and even though he knew he went out with her

Wat do? Feel like shit

>>18573493
Thanks man
As much as it hurts I'll try

I just wish I wouldn't have been so dumb

>>18573507
Consider learning your lesson and not repeating your actions in the further. Maybe think of something off-putting so the situation doesn't seem like a big deal to you. For example, when I got with my new boyfriend, he patiently waited seven months until I was ready for sex and allowed me to initiate it.

>>18573513
What do you mean think of something off putting so it doesn't seem like a big deal

How would I do that?

feels good man

Every time I get inspired or motivated or I hear good news that makes me think something good might happen in the future, I just end up picturing myself telling my ex about it, in an imaginary future where we actually talk. Made some good progress writing songs for my two man band today and I'm starting to think about how the album will sound. And inevitably, how I want her to listen to it and tell me it's ("not really my thing but") good. Ugh. It's not even like the songs are even about her.

>>18573518
Okay, allow me to clarify. For the sake of the situation let's say you hypothetically got with another chick with the same issues and she says "no" to sex. Instead of asking again -- with all your pent up urges -- think of something off-putting to steer you away from asking. Think of grandpa in his birthday suit, your parents conceiving you, two gross animals humping uglies, popping a cyst or pimple, the worst shit you have ever taken and then take her on a walk. The fresh air will do you both some good. Don't bring up the sex again and if she asks simply state, "hey, you call the shots, babe. I'll wait until you're ready." Girls love that -- at least I did, a lot -- I had so much respect for my boyfriend.

Dad, I hope you know I am doing well and I am about to start my thesis work this coming week. You probably wouldn't like it, from how paranoid you were, but I am going to be working with diseases. Hopefully my research will calm your nerves if I find better ways to prevent outbreaks. There is also this cute barista I have been talking to the past few weeks and I think I am going to ask her on a date. That is all on my mind now, you have been gone the past four years but I hope your last thoughts of me were about the person I could be instead of the person I was way back when.

>>18573583
Thanks I know I'm never gonna make the same mistake again believe me after feeling like shit for so long

So thank you

And who knows maybe one day she'll come around and I can make things right

What's gonna happen is x here, along with y and z, are going to put everything off until the last minute then panic. Don't say I didn't try to help.

>>18573593
Sure but if I may add: always expect the worst -- this way you're not hurt in the long run if things don't go your way.

My first girlfriend was a brilliant scientist-type. She had a beautiful mind and a unique outlook on the world around her, but was super distant and closed off to other people. Never really enjoyed or understood feelings the way I did. That drove me crazy and we eventually broke up five years ago.

Funny thing is I still love her. Maybe not sweeping romantic love any more, but I've never had as much respect or care for anyone I've met since. It's hard on me knowing she's out there and I'll probably never talk to her again. She's the kind who locks her past away and never thinks about it again.

>>18573609
Yea I guess I've always had hope when I shouldn't so thank you I appreciate that advice

It's actually pretty valuable to me

I work much harder for one manager at my workplace than the rest, simply because I have a massive crush on her.
That, and she's on of the few who actually appreciates hard work.

200% of the target today, my feet are killing me.
Many people consider hitting 100% a good day.

I can't tell her how I feel, because she's married and I don't want to fuck with someone else's relationship, so I do this instead. To show I care.

>>18573625
Here when you need it, man. I appreciate how you're willing to work on yourself rather than just whore around.

I wish I told you I loved you

im 17 and in desperate need for something new. someone new. i deleted snapchat because all my "friends" never started a real conversation with me, its been a week and they still haven't asked what happened.

>>18573651
I did the same thing and it took a month for someone to say something lmao. No one ever cares.

>>18573323
I told her the truth and was met with severe denial. Afterword, she parroted my own words back me, forgetting that Im'm the one who told her.

>>18573454
I think I do, but I can't bring myself to talk to her. I have no idea what imagine she has of me in her head, but I know she's emotionally and psychologically damaged and I'm associated with it.

Ironically, the better I was to her when we were together, the more she villainizes me now.

>>18573656
what'd you do when you deleted it? i've been real fucking bored since then but i'd rather be bored and alone than with people who don't really know or care for me.

>>18573668
Why you associated with it?

>>18573670
I just started focusing on myself. Lots of reading meditation and working out. Eventually they came back and I felt like I didn't even need them anymore.

>>18573675
Someone with an unhealthy obsession with my life posed as my best friend and used my name to lie to and manipulate her, behind my back. Long, crazy story.

>>18573693
Sounds crazy anon but why would she blame you

>>18573678
yeah I feel like it will come to that when school comes back around. I'll probably be completely alone focusing on grades and getting a job. I don't think it'll bother me much either since I'll actually have something to do. If you were faced with a brand new opportunity, regardless of what it is, would you just go for it?

>>18573705
Yeah of course. If you feel like you need a change in your life and a new opportunity comes your way jump on it.

>>18573714
I really appreciate this. you're basically saying follow my instinct?

>>18573702
She doesn't know the full story, and thinks this guy was actually my friend, that I put him up to a lot of what he did. Doesn't make sense, but i dunno, it's how she coped.

>>18573740
Yes exactly. Your instincts know what's best for you.

>>18573763
you've been a huge help. i don't know what you believe in but i have a good feeling that i'm on the right path and on my soul mission. thank you.

Ahshit, I gotta put the brakes on myself. Nope, heart, you calm the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and don't fuck all my shit up. And you, here's hoping you're the tiniest bit interested and that wasn't all like, tourism.

>>18573780
You're welcome anon I hope things start looking up for you soon.

Gertrude
I would hope for karma to get you back for all the meddling and interfering youve done in my relationship, but looking at your aged face and pics of you and your cat (LOL) you keep sending to my man I can honestly say its already hit you. Hard. Lol youre a fucking spineless doormat who manipulates him and his family to keep you on a string because youre too fucking retarded and pathetic to get a life of your own. You live in the past because your present is sad, and you have no future. You try to drag all you know down with you. Just know every thing you send i read and i laugh my ass off at what a failure and loser you are. Love that even your coworkers call you old haha
M

Haven't gotten laid in 4 years since my last relationship. I'm very anxious around others, can't let my guard down for shit so I always come off awkward and can never establish a sincere connection with others. Instead of working on my emotional shortcomings I threw myself into my accounting degree. I do very well in school so I have been able to put it off and ignore my inability to establish a relationship with others. During the beginning of the summer at a family party ended up sleeping with my sisters friend who is a turbo slut when we were both completely bombed. Had suspicions it only happened because her home life is bad; and she connected with my mom and the rest of my family. She has them fill the void and they kinda coerced her into hooking up with me and she complied because maybe she had it in her head that it would strengthen the bond she has with the rest of my family. Later confirmed it when she said one of my family members told her she should go for me and thats what got the ball rolling. She had a bf at the time so she was really embarrassed the morning after. At first I had no real care for her aside from the sex, but since its been so long I forgot how nice it is to have a girl around and eventually started to like her. Its really irrational on my part, she's not my type, an attention whore because she is super anxious and needs people to notice her. Probably looks down on weebs like myself. At this point her bf dumped her. Its obvious to her that I like her and she actually gave me a chance to get closer despite it being apparent that my lack of social skills turns her off. We were laying together and started talking all night about really heavy personal shit but even then because I'm so guarded I never truly felt like we clicked even tho I wanted to. That and feeling like she was just taking pity on me caused me to push her off me and leave her in the room by herself. Went home the next morning without saying goodbye.

STOP PROCRASTINATING!!

I feel like I'm starting to get a real handle on my anxiety.
Today, apparently this guy who's a druggie was going to go by our house (we live in the middle of nowhere) to go to some graves in the woods. I've had bad experiences with druggies, and just the news of this sent me into a panic attack.
I caught myself, slowed my breathing and thought more realistically and optimistically, got up and got a shower and I felt surprisingly better. I think I'm going to make it.

>>18573875
Kinda bummed over the whole deal, still can't fucking establish a real relationship with others.
It will hurt for a few weeks especially since she still comes to the house so I will see her. Ah well, graduating this coming fall so now its time to start studying for the CPA exam and looking for a full time job. Eventually that will make me forget the whole thing ever happened and the cycle continues. This is the first time I have posted on this board and I feel like a spineless little faggot bitch boy from /r9k/ but I haven't felt this low in a real long time. Sorry it was such a long post

Got out of the house, and headed out to the local jazz festival. I'm enjoying it, good music and good food. It helps, but damn if I can't help but think of you. Even when I go out and do things for myself, I can't help but be depressed by the loss of what I had with you.
You sucked. You really weren't that good of a gf. Yeah, I know I was bad as well. I did many things that were childish as fuck. The thing was fucked from the get go.
I think the thing that hurts the most at our mess is that I made me realize that two people can love each other. Truly care and love the other, and the partnership can still fail. It taught me that love isn't enough. We never really listened to each other. It sucks. We got along great at the start. It felt like I could really trust you, and I did. I know you felt that as well. The way you told me of your childhood, it showed trust.

I don't know what happened. I warped and changed. You did as well. Are the people we became, who we are, are they so different from before? Are we so different we can no longer work together?
I don't know. I wish I did. I wish we just would have tried a bit more. That I had more self control to hold back my depression from our relationship. It was too much for me, and far too much for you. I thank you for the help you tried to give me. I know you tried hard to go me out of my head. To help me grow.
That boy you met with so long ago is long gone, the dreams I shared with you dead, and I am left to wander around aimlessly.

I will find my way. Somehow, crave out new dreams and ambitions. If our paths cross again I hope that we are both happy then. Maybe we can try again when we are both ready to understand another human being. Maybe not.
Fuck knows. But for now I wish you best, should jam for now because the music is getting pretty good.

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I know how you feel about yourself, but goddamn what are you waiting for? I'm not going to pull the "how DARE you say no?" bullshit since I know I'm not the best option either, but damn. Did you want to be the one to make the first move? Are you worried so much about what others think that you don't want to commit? Are you waiting for the best one from your fantasy that - let's face it - never really existed for any of us? I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but you said yourself that going out of your comfort zone with things helps you.

Fuck, I'm going to think of you whether you like it or not.

I considered posting about some of the problems weighing my mind but ended up posting this instead

Is it better to do a desperation move or just let it be?

I feel like I had a really good chance with this incredible girl recently but I let it pass>regret.

So, I feel like a move wouldn't work anymore really :/ but I feel like I still want to try!

Good/bad idea?

I hate my face. There's nothing I can do about it. I hope what I see is not what others see.

Wish I could tell you that I love you sooo much

>>18574053
I used to do that too.
I don't know your age but when I was in my teens/early 20's I was really self consious of my facial features but with time "I feel like I grew into my face" and by making a small effort on my apparence I like how I look now in my late 20's.
>Give it time!

>>18574077
Why don't you?

>>18574077
Just do it!

Met my gf online and all i fucking want is a LITTLE bit of affection I've been over this with her and she says its her personality and autism wont let her

Someone kill me please im not gunna make it

>>18574155
>Met my gf online


theres your problem

A
I don't know. Your turn.
J

>>18574161
Didn't help at all my dude

I'm visiting my mother tomorrow and I'm gonna talk to her about being depressed
I hope it doesn't cost me the respect she has for me

>>18574155
Physical touch
Verbal expressions
Giving gifts
Quality time
Acts of service

Which form of affection would mean the most to you?

for the past 3 months i've had the feeling that i'm going to die soon. it's only getting stronger at this point. i don't know if it'll be me who kills myself, a freak thing, or a murder but either way i can feel it

I don't really care about you being bisexual or whatever but being a drunk idiot and pointing people out that you would fuck is kind of disrespectful.

like I was pointing out girls to her and saying stuff like "awww id eat her ass so hard" shed freak.

I don't know, its kinda fucked up talking about how "thirsty" you are and talking about all these people youd hook up with to the person you claim you love.

tl;dr im falling in love with a whore and I just don't know why I cant drop her yet

>>18574175
Verbal but she says she finds it awkward for some reason

but she is completely fine with physical

>>18574189
I would recommend both of you read a book called the Five Love Languages. If you don't feel like reading the 120 something pages, I'll give you the basics.

I essentially listed the five languages. Everyone has their primary love language that is their native tongue. In relationships, both people rarely share the same primary language, so when it comes to expressing affection, it can feel like one of you is speaking Greek and the other is speaking Russian. It's important to learn your partner's love language to communicate your love for them in the way they understand it best. It's equally important to learn the way they communicate love to you, so that you can recognize they're trying to show their love for you, even if it's not in a language you fully understand. In the case of not sharing love languages, or feeling super awkward when trying to speak your partner's love language, it's especially important and meaningful to do it anyways. It gets easier with practice, and because it requires more effort than speaking in your native tongue, it means that much more because you're working that much harder to speak in your partner's native tongue.

>>18574196
THANK YOU

I'm going to give this a read my man, I've never heard of that love language stuff but she does say she shows me affection i just dont pick up on it so this sounds like it'd be for me!

>>18574200
No problem dude. It might be that showing love at all doesn't come easily to her, but we all show we care about people in our own ways, however subtle. I actually found a free pdf online from searching on google

I'll tell you one thing though, if she ever does give you verbal affection and you don't immediately make sure she knows how much that meant to you or give her some sort of encouragement, I will find you and kill you for being an idiot lol

>>18574155
To be honest man, you might have to either leave or learn to accept that her type of love is different from yours and what you want.
I had met my ex online as well. We were both really similar in that we were both depressed and austimos. At first things were fine. We seemed to work well together, but as I opened up, she didn't.
She kept me somewhat separate from her life. Sometimes I just wanted to hear things from her, but she wasn't able to communicate them to me.
She was happy with what i gave her, I wasn't with what she had to give. It wasn't what I was looking for after I changed to be a bit more open. I didn't turn into an extrovert or something, but I just wanted a show of affection that didn't feel awkward. Every time she did show something it was awkward. I was too stupid to see she was forcing herself for my sake. Foolishly, I pushed and lost her.

>>18574189
It could be that she's a "matter of fact" person. The sort that will day "I love you" rarely because in their head once it's said once, it's established and shouldn't require constant reminding.

Look, you are not getting what you need. Or, you may think so. You are frustrated and exhausted by being the only one that exposes themself to the other. You feel like you are the only one putting in effort.
I been there my dude.

Slow down. Slow down and remove your emotions from this. Slow down and really look that what she gives you, and how she expresses love torwards you. It may be that she is affectionate, you just don't see it that way because the way you love is different.

People love in different ways. Express it differently, and sometimes we want it shown a certain way.

Like I have said, slow down and really look your relationship. Is it a loving one? Or are you certain she is not capable of loving? Or is she just not capable of showing it how you want It? Remove your negative emotions and see what she gives you, it may be more than you are seeing.

Don't risk what you may miss.

>>18574209
Trust me dude she has before and I just got so excited and told her i loved it and it was cute and she says its awkward, maybe someday.

Anyways thanks again!

I screwed it up, not in any big way, but a lot of little small things.

>>18574225
Mankind will devour itself, or the sun will supernova and swallow the earth, and everything everyone has ever done won't matter in the slightest. You'll be okay lil nigga. We're all just trying our best out here.

wish id die

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I've forgotten what it's like to be me, so I don't act like me, because I don't even know how to be me, or anything like me.

>>18574257
Do any of us truly know who we are? We're always growing and changing. Figure out the kind of person you'd like to be, the kind of values you think are important, and live life in accordance to them until those priorities change

I've given a girl way too many chances. She is young and is already and alcoholic. I really want to help her but she's way too taxing and manipulative. I know that I want to stop talking to her but she wants to hang out soon. WWYD?

>>18574265
you gotta run, man.

im in the same boat. dating a girl for the past few months that's sweet but has some issues, very emotional, likes to get drunk and do stupid shit, shady, etc. while also at the same time like your situation still expressing serious interest and affection towards you.

Shes gotta figure herself out and you cannot wait around for that because youll miss out on being around people that actually do give a shit about you and wont use you.

>>18574089
I'm 23 and I've already made a huge effort on my appearance. There's a point where there's nothing else to do. I suppose when I'm older it might look better.

>>18574304
I just don't know if I should tell her why I'm leaving or ghost her and let her life play out without me. We're always on and off and when we're on its not for long because of the things she does. I worked on myself over the time we weren't talking and I hit her up again only to see she isn't changing anytime soon.

>>18574236
Yay nihilism, absolving people of anything they want since nietzsche. Nah I screwed up. I screwed up because there's a problem somewhere. I can't progress unless I figure out what went wrong.

Likely never gonna know. Seemed like things went well

I'm sorry that I couldn't be the best for you. Truly, I don't know how I can ever thank you enough for everything that you did for me. Not that you care at this point, but still. I still think about you everyday, and every night. I hope everything's going well for you and that you'll remain in happiness, emotionally and romantically.

I miss you.

>>18574342
Seemed like things went really well.

idk if i should go to that interview for an internship.. i'm really unmotivated for it + i feel like i would add nothing of value to the company because i feel like i don't know anything

>>18574052
So anything on this?

>>18572008
i dont want to put effort into having a real relationship so i just sit around yearning for people i'll never be with

>>18574350
S?

>>18574052
Never know until you try, anon.

i ate my older sisters friends out at the age of 5. how i seduced them, i am not sure of.

i started drinking at age 13 because of depression. became a drunk. self harmed. all over a middle school relationship. im currently a sophmore

The job I have now involve using my own vehicle and dropping off Amazon packages for $2.90 each. I hate the job, but I guess I need it for experience for now. I only had it for 2 months and my mileage went from 81,000 to 87,000.
I know the job is equivalent to a retail job. $2.90 each package sounds great, but it's only good if you're doing this job during the Holidays, Black Friday, or Amazon day. I get less than 30 packages and sometimes when it's good it'll be over 35.
I need help on choosing the following routes
A. Finish community college then find another job
B. Finish community college, go to a dealer's school, and then find a job.
I currently have 2 experience/job under my belt which is Property Management and Courier/Driver/Delivery. I want to drop the courier job to save my vehicle from dying.
What route should I go for /adv/? I really need help. If there's another route please tell me. I don't want to go back to being a NEET again that shit was miserable.

I'm really fucking pissed that my ex isn't into me - not because I want anything I just want to hold shit over her head because she's a cunt who cheated and deserves it.

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So I've lived pretty much a NEET life style or hikki for awhile and recently my internet cable to my room went bad so now I don't have usual internet access to distract myself from daily life but I still feel void.I stopped going on 4chan for hours about a month before this with website blocking addons which as help turned my attention away,I know this site isn't the a problem and would just be filled in for something else just as I did before and after I left the website times before coming back with new interest to see what other with the same interest are talking about.

Its quite lonely now,no new ideas or memes to play with,no text boxes to post to,nothing. Pass few days I taken up Netflix,went to a birthday party for my 5yearold cousin, played a few console single player games I had away but I still feel indifferent, its kinda like my life before I had before the internet,free from everything but still bound to something to distract me but as far as I can remember I think that has been the norm for me sure I took care if my business in school and got grades what good did that give me .I could get up and start going to work everyday and give my time to someone else's goals I don't give a fuck about and get paid to do it but Id feel worse .There really isn't alot of interesting people or places to work for me aside from colleges/ uni and those companies in creative fields but that's close off to more well put together individuals with good histories and I think that ship has sailed.

Where do I go now?I haven't been doing nothing these pass few years, it just I thought I be somewhere else somewhere better but nope still here grasping at things in the dark.

You ever hate how you feel content and over your ex and finally feel happy and then you go to sleep and have a shitty dream remembering the past?

I fucking wish these dreams would stop. I was happy. I was living my life. And then this shit just creeps its way back into my fucking head.

Why do I always have this feeling, why can't I be happy for longer than a week. Why does my mind always make me unhappy just once I want to know what it's like to not be depressed

WhY aRe you bEing LIkE ThIS, DiD I dO tHIS? do You FeEl The SaMe AboUT mE? mMEMMMHHHHHH

>>18574566
bye

>>18574571
fml anon. i think one of my best friends used to love me but doesnt anymore, and now im in love with her. kmskmskms

I just have so many questions but none of them make sense to me. It's such a shitshow that you've pinned it on yourself and I feel bad about asking you to explain yourself. I want fix things but there's nothing to fix since you don't feel the same or have the same feelings anymore it seems. Everything feels so rehearsed and that's all I'm ever get out of you since you're so closed off about it.
During these two weeks I wanted to see you in person mainly because of this reason you sounded so confused about yourself and how everything feels but you went ahead and decided it on your own.
There's just so much to it, "we don't have fun" I haven't even been here for a month let alone be able to take you anywhere. I quite literally hate myself for going overseas just as our relationship started.
I just don't understand how this came to be and I'm just hurt that I was just not worth the time and that that's how little it meant.

What you mean by "don't like how I feel about myself when im around you" what does that even mean? You said that so many times but you never explained it in the past. The way you've put it just leaves me with my own device to work out what the fuck it all means and it just sprouts little buds of thoughts like oh does she mean she's not gay anymore or does she not like me or am I boring? It's just fucked. If you don't have feelings anymore just say so, if you've found someone new just say so, if I'm boring and don't cut it for you just say so, just don't do this shit. It just hurts me more because I have to work it out myself and the fact that there's no sharp closing of the door.
I know there's no second chances let's be real - but the way you've put it just hangs it above my head.

You keep messaging me that you miss me but when I came back you said you wanted to be alone and explore. You weren't ready for a relationship.
You could've at least told me how you felt.
Why would you let me get a taste of you and then drop me in an instant like that? Every other guy you've dated have been winded on for more than I ever was. Was I not worth it? Was I just a joke?

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You led me along and then acted heart broken when I couldn't take it anymore and went with someone else. When she decided to move on from me you had to get between us and make it even worse than it had to be.
Then you led me along again acting like you actually wanted something from me only to leave me in the dust again and then act sad when me and a bunch of others can't handle this kind of stuff and get on with our lives.
Then after you come back after making the huge mistake of running off you want me back for a one nighter? Right after seeing you and the mutual you fucked laughing about what you just did? You get mad at me being with someone and pull this kind of stuff, even when your significant other expressed discomfort over it?
You're nothing but trouble and I should have cut you out long ago.
The only thing I can do now is hope that not all women are like you.
Also I've had cheap hookers that smell and fuck better than you do.

I'm dating a girl that I want to marry but I wanna break up with her to fuck other women before I settle down with her.

I don't know if I'm really in love with you, or even like you, or if I just like the idea of having a 18 year old piece of ass in my house. This could all be a horrific idea that ends with me depressed, you back at home with a no longer virgin asshole, and both of us destitute.

But hey I guess we should try.

>>18574456
Make your own thread anom

Why don't my friends recognize how close I am to killing myself.

Why don't they reach out to me and ask me if I'm ok when it should be obvious that I'm not.

Why does the seeming lack of anyone giving a shit about me make me cling to life even harder because I know these assholes would act grief-stricken the moment I'm dead and I would be nothing but sympathy fodder for them to boo hoo about on facebook.

How did my life end up like this, starting to feel spiteful of everyone that supposedly ever cared about me. Feel like failure in my ability to make connections with other human beings.

>>18574746
Anon, you have bad friends but don't do it.

>>18574746
I can relate anon, well except the facebook shit. Just hang in there.

women make me sad

Cries bc now that I'm home all I can think of is you taking off your belt and how I definitely want to see that again, and how i definitely wanted to say something smoother than whatever stupid shit I did, and how I definitely think our conversation should've gone on just a little longer, but i didnt have a good answer or anything clever to say anyway, and the suggestion of a hotel just made me feel kinda gross about what i was asking for, even if i guess its technichally not anything more than hanging out. But how well could it really go, and i just really want to say im sorry for asking for something so compromising, even if thats really not the issue, because you seemed genuinely interested, and we agreed the circumstances just make it hard because we obviously know we shouldn't do this, even if id love nothing more than to just plain hang out with you. I dont know if you know that i just sit around thinking about wanting to fuck you all day either though, and i honestly dont even know how seriously youre taking me, and i guess it really doesnt matter because i can just shut up and let you forget all about this starting now.

I just hope i didnt weird you out and didnt cross some sort of line... im sorry, i think im just having too much fun...

>>18574860
Tha'ts because they're irrational cunts.

>>18574860
>>18574959


Everyone watch this video.

Women actually are always telling you exactly what you want, even when it contradicts itself. Why? Because if they say they hate being catcalled, they do hate it... unless it comes from a guy they want to be catcalled by.

That's the rub. All their absolutes exist only in relation to the imaginary person they have in their mind when they're thinking of the issue.

When they say they hate catcalling, or being chased by men, they're connecting this claim to an image of a gross, old, fat, bald man.

When they 'admit' they like and want to be catcalled or chased, they're imagining some uber-chad.

>>18574967
Fuck. I dropped the ball on the link. Here you go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c4ZKhRFWb4

This video is so important for males in general about specific types of women, but eventually will tell you how women are in general.

>>18574967
>>18574972

I guess I should add another layer of unhelpful advice.

There may be some women out there who genuinely do not like being pursued at all, but then again they'd have to also not like it coming from someone they're actually interested in as well, which would be bizarre to say the least.

And it also depends on context. She might like the pursuit if she's got nothing else going on, but might find it distasteful and her attraction for you will fade if you do it while she's with her friends, etc.

Each person has different desires, so you have to risk pursuing women who aren't interested in you, and then getting called a creep for doing so. Maybe to your face if they're very mentally imbalanced, and possibly just to friends or their facebook/blog if they're less 'borderline'.

Since society has been drumming up hatred of all things male lately, especially male advances on women, you just have to accept risking being called a creep behind your back, since women in general have learned to act this way.

>>18574991
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGbM1C_kJIc

I'm in love with another girl. I don't want to be with my girlfriend but I can't break up with her because she'll kill herself.

>>18575019

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c4ZKhRFWb4

Watch this video. Its unlikely she'll actually kill herself. 90% of female suicide attempts are for attention.

For what it's worth, I hope fucking other people in Amsterdam is making you feel happy. I hope you're finding the life you wanted. I hope you can forget about me, because even if I were the "person you would have settled down with if you wanted to settle down at all", I'm really not that special. There's obviously something wrong with me if I can't even compare to a few nights of fucking random people.

Take care.

L

>>18575047
Omg. Boo, fucking, hoo.

Stop being a self-aggrandizing cunt.

You lose empathy by masturbating to your own pain like this.

>>18575055
Lol Anon, this is a "get if off your chest" thread, I'm mostly looking to vent anonymously because I don't want to be self-aggrandizing. If I wanted real empathy, I probably would have actually talked to someone about this rather than post it on a chinese fingertrap enthusiast board

>>18575062
Maybe im getting off my chest my feelings of people that go "gosh I guess im so worthless".

Faggot.

>>18575072
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>18574350
You don't need to thank me. Just live up to what I saw in you, the version of you that made me stick around so long.

I don't miss you, but I miss that you sometimes.

Despite everything, I do wish you happiness, too. One day.

>>18574476
Wow. You might be more fucked up than she is.

I really want to eat pussy rn. I'm always horny as fuck when I get home from working out.

>be ridiculously good in bed
>be well endowed
>be attractive
>have high libido
>be fucking inadvertently abstinent.
all of the sexual frustration.

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My god how stupid can you get. Yes you have to press charges for them to be charged with the crime.

i will become a wizard this year and i dont feel bad about it

>>18575234
>be attractive
It's because your personality is shit and you probably have some issues on your body girls aren't attracted to past one night

you make me want to make you smile. like I can tell that you need it and I want you to be happy... and a little bit naked... ok a lot naked. but that's a separate thing.

>>18575277
welp. I can't argue with digits like that.

>>18574723
I still feel it strongly these days. It's not something I'm proud of and I was far too harsh in that post. Regardless I think it's best I go. Especially after what I just said.
Polite sage because I can't edit posts

>>18572008
Yea i dont think, shes interested anymore...just before you left we were having so much fun...and then you went on your vacation and i haven't heard from you since. its been a month and its been tough...i just want some sort of feedback on what happened...

I don't love my bf anymore.
I want to fall in love again, care if he loves me or not. He's not a bad person, but i can't respect him and i no longer desire him in any way. It's killing me, i have to leave him but i don't want to break his heart. He is so lovely, but to plain for his own good.

>>18575426
You're not doing it for him, you're doing it for you so you don't look like the bad guy. I suggest you break up rather than be a bitch, get resentful of him, and then force him to break up with you.

>>18575426
>I want to fall in love again, (I don't?) care if he loves me or not.
Would you be willing to fall in love with him all over again?

>He's not a bad person, but i can't respect him and i no longer desire him in any way.
He treats you right I assume, most girls dream of this. If you decide to leave him you're doing him a huge favor to find someone willing to appreciate him. Why can you no longer respect him? What makes him so undesirable to you?

>It's killing me, i have to leave him but i don't want to break his heart.
You claimed that you don't care about his feelings and you don't respect him -- so what makes this so hard? You're contradicting yourself a lot in this post, make up your mind for his sake because you're wasting his time and energy.

>He is so lovely, but to (too*) plain for his own good.
How is he "plain"? What makes him plain to you? What do you seek in a partner he isn't fulfilling? I'm assuming you haven't been direct with him about any of this. I'd like to have context about your post

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This is the first confession that I've ever made that wasn't just a meme:

I want to add another woman into our relationship.
Don't get me wrong, I love my gf to death and I find her incredibly sexy and I'd never betray her, but I hate being an average joe with just one gf no matter how good she is. This is about me and my ego mostly. I just want to watch a movie and have a woman under both my arms.
Note; I also want my current gf to not only be ok with it, but also share the other girl with me, so that it's not just me having two gf's but that we're a trinity. She has shown interest in girls before.

It's never gonna work though. She's too jealous, possessive and so I am. We're already on the brink of a break-up because of jealousy on both sides. Also, I don't feel like I am good enough a catch to ever be in a situation like that. Also, we probably wouldn't find a woman that would join an existing couple that isn't a complete degenerate whore that fits into our household. Mind you I'll still see other men as my rivals. It probably wouldn't even be fair to the second girl due to pre-existing bias between us and she'd leave anyway.

When we were sharing our sexual fantasies somewhat early in our 3,5 year relationship I actually said I wanted to have threesome with two women in not so many words and she broke completely. I managed to calm her down by lying and twisting my words and I feel very bad about it every day.
I've always considered myself a straight arrow and lying is something that I never thought I would do. I just didn't want to lose her.

I realize this is probably a lot of men's fantasy but it is tearing me up and if she ever saw this it would mark the end of our relationship and instead of having two women I'd have none. No-one can replace her so I'd just end up depressed.
I just want an abundance of feminine love around me. Just one other though because of how women act the larger their group is. Three would be insufferable.

>>18575481
Fuckin degenerate

>>18575498
We all want dubs. Don't deny it.

>>18575505
Anyone who drops their significant other for a newer model is degenerate. Anyone who chooses to add another person to their love life is degenerate. You're letting your materialistic brain dictate your life. You won't have what you had before and it won't be as good. Break up with her and go find your weiner sisters, she deserves better
>muh gf is perf but I want to have 2 gfs to love 2gether

>>18575505
i just want one, so dont excuse yourself trowing everyone in your degenerate sack

>>18575426
>I have someone who actually loves and respects me for me, but this bores me and I want to play the field.
Dump him immediately, you would be doing him a massive favor.

>>18575511
>she deserves better
I'm not so sure. She's done some shit in her life.
If you're trying to convince me I'm in the wrong though, you don't have to. That was a confession after all.

>>18575513
Not so surprising on a board that is like 90% "how do i gf".

I'm ready to go to a college after messing around in a community college, but I don't know where to start. I know I've got the prerequisites completed, but I just don't know where to start next.

>>18575448
I know i'm a massive cunt, for not loving him back, but i can't magically change the way i feel.
I care about him generally, but love and care are two seperate things. I care for his well-being, i don't care if he loves me or cares for me though. If he slept with another woman, i wouldn't be heartbroken, but reliefed for this would make the departure easier. I wouldn't cheat on him, even though i no longer wish to share my bed with him because reasons.
I don't see him as my equal, because he has no self controll, problems with selfexpression and abuses alcohol. I make half the money since i'm part time working while studing yet i'm the one paying the bills, cooking and cleaning. I feel more like a mother, not like his partner. We talked a lot about this but the improvement has always only been temporary.
He loves me so much, and is so hung up on me, that i couldn't bring myself to leave.

I am so fucking pathetic. A pathetic introvert. Can't initiate conversations. Can't continue conversations. I don't understand, why does my mind go blank whenever I'm speaking to a group of people? Why am I having so much trouble just to open my mouth? It's not fair. Then I go out and meet people with the ability to play 50 different instruments, graduated top of the class with another 50 scholarships while I'm home playing fucking videogames and jerking off 5 times a day. FUCK.

I can't do anything right anymore.
I have work in an hour but I couldn't get up to do my laundry yesterday. I can't eat. I have an urge to jump off a bridge. I was fine two days ago; better than fine actually. I tried talking to my friends about it but in short they told me to get over it so I'm not going to whine to them anymore. I don't want to bother anyone. I feel sick. I feel useless. Every other sentence here begins with "I."
I must be a self-centered cunt.

A girl rejected me and now I feel kinda sorry for her.
She seems to have ridiculously high standards, but I think she has fear of intimacy deep down there.
I guess its kinda pretentious of me to assume this, but whatever.
Hope she'll find someone nice and I'll find someone nice, too.

Am I socially retarded? It takes me a while to talk to people in normal conversations. I usually attribute it to trying to get a feel for them before giving my opinions or just trying to be funny. I don't talk much in the first place, but I feel like most people think I'm an asshole since I don't talk to them.

The phrase "you deserve better" always bothers me. I bet she probably gets told the same thing too right? Isnt that kind of weird? If i wasnt good enough for her why should i deserve better and vice versa? It seems like a contradiction.

Is it weird that in a way I'm happy she broke up with me because now I can relate to all the sad breakup songs in my library I've had over the years?

>>18575653
Better may be simply a more fitting, more compatible partner.

>>18575662
Ah I see anon. Thanks that mkes a lot more sense. The problem is everyone always says it in an antagonistic manner about the other person.

I fucking hate women.
And fuck you whiteknights, who always defend them here whenever someone says something negative about women. You faggots are the reason why women are such entitled sluts these days. You enable their behaviour and then later cry about getting cheated on.

So, you of all people browsed here the whole time, V?
I'm not going to judge, but I prefer you to not give me that brow every time you're near me. I know that brow because I invented that brow. That's the brow that says you seen something and you hate it.

Well, fine. I'll never get an answer out of you, but let me make it clear: Don't make it so obvious next time. This is a vent thread, after all. Anything going on here? It stays here only.
Also, it's just a DATE, not a real gf session. Do you honestly think I can just gf someone like that? HAHAHA, no. I don't trust enough for that level.

If however, you weren't browsing here and I just sounded like some mental case, then oops. Still going with this vent because you've been acting cold lately. Knock it off.

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Man, what the fuck is wrong with this dude's son? He comes over here and fills the hallway up with all this bullshit, is loud and obnoxious until 5AM, and won't even go to work which is the only reason why he's over here in the first place. I don't want to spend the next few months like this again, it's going to drive me crazy.

I feel like blasting my brains out, painting the walls red with my brain matter. Or just OD'ing on my mother fucking melatonin, then running a bath and slitting my wrists in it. And just fall asleep as my blood leaves my body and dyes the water a crimson colour. (I apologize for the edginess of my post, Anons.)

>>18575481
don't be a greedy cunt

Cynthia,

I miss your good morning texts.

there is nothing pure or good about being broken.

Please stop romanticizing mental illness.

Why can't I overcome my autism. My job gave me a raise after 6 months in the company las Friday and all I couldn't say was "thank you" and "I try my best".
Also I get super nervous around a coworker, to the point I avoid talking to him at all costs.

>>18572008
It's fucked up, but I miss you; not you now, of course, but the girl I met four months ago. That girl went and found me when she heard I was having a bad day. That girl made a point to sit with me at breakfast. You now, though? I don't know who you are.


I fell for a persona and, though I hate to admit it, it's getting in my head. I don't think that good people exist anymore. There I was, looking for someone who was just nice and she appeared; more than that appeared. She was nice, beautiful and had a great personality. It wasn't until she'd gotten her attention that I found out what was behind that mask of yours. Maybe that's all there is out there; a bunch of masks. Maybe I'm like that as well without even knowing. I can't even trust myself anymore and I'm stuck missing someone who never existed.

Thanks, bitch.

>>18575912
Sorry, we are raised to be good, anything we do solemny because of the upbringing won't be truly honest.

>>18575941
It's an interesting perspective to have and one that I don't think comes naturally. It's so easy to see the world at face value and not realize that everyone has their own little world inside of them, one where

>tfw just waiting to quit or get fired before you can really start your next pursuit in life

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>>18575912
>I fell for a persona
I know that feeling. It sucks. Once you realize that the one you fell for it not close to the one you had, it's a painful sting. I had been with a person for almost 10 years before the people we became or revealed no longer got along. The thing is that we all go it to some degree. Being genuine with someone puts you at a disadvantage, so we naturally cover ourselves. When we get hurt like this, we recoil even further into the safety of a mask.
It's not about trusting yourself, but about understanding yourself. Understand how you, yourself, work. What you truly want and look for. Once you do that you can read past the mask others put on. See at least a bit more of who they really are.

We all get burned once or twice, how we proceed is what matters. The fact that you realize that you miss the one from before is solid step in understanding all this.

Take some time away from this person of yours and truly see what this new person you have gives. Is it truly different? Maybe you are? If you are unhappy, perhaps it's time to cut your losses? Or perhaps reveal that you feel something has changed? Talk to her first. See what she was to tell you. Communicate with this person, perhaps they aren't so different. Things get in the way of how we act sometimes. It could effect us and those around us.

I think I got overconfident and in reality I'm uglier than I thought. Am I going to have to settle for someone I'm not attracted to?

>>18576026
After a while you'll see you're not settling. You're allowing your massive ego talk for you.

>>18576021
This. Taking a step back and seeing yourself and others from a perspective genuinely makes life more clear and allows you to make peace with things that were and things to come.

>>18576026

Don't listen to this other anon, stop worrying about your looks, live in your body and find someone you love.

>>18576026
I thought I was settling for someone totally out of my league, that I was beneath him. However, I'm better than him in every way bar physical attractiveness.

How,, how can you people keep this up? Are you just testing shit to see how close you can get it until it's like "super fucking obvious"?

Tshirts with a blackcat surrounded by mexican flora. Another T-shirt of a white cat with wildflowers and stars.

I'm sure WHITE CAT//BLACK CAT lovers wasn't a thing before my relationship with Renee. It's sooo fucking obvious. Anyone that out right denies it is clearly in on it.

Especially with shit like this picture >>18576021

Just watch the david bowie Blackstar video and it's got all of these things. Lonely beaten to death astronaut, mexican cat artist, and black//white theme.

Took me awhile but Puppy Cat, the space prince is me.

Poppy is CLEARLY me. Everyone thinks it's a reference to pop music, but it isn't. It's about the drugs I take.

Computer boy? Starboy. Blue Boy.

What can't be fucking reasoned with is the sheer scale of this. It's world-fucking-wide and a hundred years in the making.

How much more am I suppose to take?

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>>18576044
Aye. I'm a firm believer in taking a 3rd person perspective when things get hard. We are emotional creatures, no matter how logical we are, we have emotions. They get in the way when we are the ones under their affect. It clouds our decision making process and causes us to act rashly.

I wish I had learned this before I fucked up my relationship by not understanding. It's not that I couldn't, I see that now, but I was far too enveloped by my own emotions that it clouded my ability to empathize with my ex.

This is why taking a step back from the situation is powerful. See things as if you were a 3rd person. Become neutral in how you handle things and you'll usually come up with a solution that benefits both sides.
To quote the "I Ching" (which was in the translation of "The Art of War" I read):
To comprehend after action is not worthy of being called comprehension.

Basically try to understand the situation you are in before you do something. Fucking up and understanding it later is of little benefit. There is knowledge in defeat, but it is better to learn that fire is hot by looking, than by getting burned.

Emotions, especially our own make understanding a problem much harder.
So remove them from the problem first, then look at what we actually have. You may realize that there is more than we thought, more good. Or maybe that the problem is not as big. We tend to ruminate, look at the negatives and we act on those negative views. We cause negative actions, and fuck up what we had. It's a fucking cycle.

In short, think clearly before you jump. Thinking is worthless if you are in a bad/emotional state. Remove your emotions from the equation, and you may be able to reach a more favorable solution.

This fucking keeps me up a night. I'm a shitty 19 yo virgin that's never been in a relationship. Finally fucking had something going but no this fucker had to come along and ruin it. Fuck him. He even has a girlfriend and they keep fucking flirting and now he's on her mind. I fucking hate everything

How the fuck do I stop getting strung along? I like this girl so much but she's unwilling to be clear about her feelings. No contact not possible. When we first met we instantly clicked - friends for almost two years now. Before, we didn't talk a whole ton, but this summer she's repeatedly opened up and closed herself off to me. I've never met anyone even remotely similar to this girl before. She really is everything I want, except maybe clearly emotionally available. Someone slap some fucking sense into me.

When I think about six months down the line I keep evaluating things as having a good shot at working out. Worse yet, she's probably moving when she graduates uni this coming year (though I'd be able to follow her the year after that). I know deep down inside that I'm incapable of thinking rationally about this. I feel like I'm never going to meet someone I connect with so naturally again.

I want to watch porn in my room but the neighbours are working on their rooftop and they can see my computer through my window. And if I close the curtains it will definitely prove that I'm gonna watch porn or fap.

mad at me for cracking a window in your apartment and a few flies got in when you were talking about people youd hook up with right in front me as went home?

can you take a hint to why I don't respiond back to texts within a 12 hour to a day timeframe?

>>18576210
That's sad, I'll admit, but also just precious, lmfao.
Anyway, no idea why you're still with him (I think?), but I guess there's reasons.

You know, you kinda drove me crazy for a while and god damn I can wonder what would have happened that entire time, and the fact that its him your going for drove me crazy, But fuck it Im ready to move on and get my own shit done, and live my life, your probably one of the best friends i had and i'll always be thankful for that.

>>18576224
its a girl, she says she loves me a bunch and wants me around/grateful for me/etc. but those things are all easier said then done.

I haven't gotten back to her, I was gonna text her back something like "you didn't get bit by the bugs, did you?" just to add more fuel to the fire.

I don't know why this is still going either. She apologizes for getting pissed off/stressed and unloading on me but using people that are your lovers or friends as a punching bag clearly means you don't appreciate them at all.

>>18576176
They won't know or care why you shut your curtains...

>>18576104
Why won't you at least try antipsychotic medicine? Have you? I mean if you believe it won't work can't you just try it? You're clearly suffering :( I don't know... I guess if you're schizophrenia medicine isn't always 100% helpful anyways but omg why would you keep believing in the fucking stupid conspiracy. Grow up. The world doesn't revolve around you.

>>18576228
What happened?

>cucks
the thread.

>>18576242
what? abilify? yes, I have.

That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about though. Again, how fucking in it do you have to be to complete ignore all these insane coincidences?

"Gee, everyone seems to be talking about a meixcan black cat and a star bound white cat. Like, literally everyone. Nah, I'm sure it's nothing."

I'm going down in the fucking history books as the most famous person to have ever lived.

For being, the man that against all odds... actually had sex.

WOOOOOO

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Our relationship is now more popular than romeo and juliet.

But I wonder how it feels to be you. You're going to be known for all of history for just being awful.

I guess I'll either be known as an angel that lost his mind or the biggest sucker in the world.

I feel like my life has been quite empty for a while. I'm not that good at maintaining friendships, much less starting new relationships, though I've done a bit of studying and research to correct this. At the end of the day, I still feel apprehensive about putting myself out there and possibly embarrassing myself. Am I doing something right?

I'm nervous about college. I've read a lot about these crazy campus SJWs swooping in and fucking people's lives up over a bad joke. How does one protect themself from something like that?

>>18575578
are you my GF?

>>18575654

no its not weird, enjoy those songs while you can, I'm currently trying to avoid them like the plague.

ok

Can you people think of your own shit for once in your lives like holy fuck it's not flattering or makes me want to talk to you. You're going to see how much this stuff is going to catch and bite you fucks in your asses

I don't do anything because these times I find everything so boring (watchin movies/tv shows, playin video games). And even if I would watch a movie I'd probably be so anxious to focus on it, I'll prolly kill myself before the end of the summer

>>18576266
You are so stubborn!! I have an idea, take a second to stop thinking about yourself so much. Go on a board where people with bipolar or schizophrenia speak about coincidences and see you are not unique. It's seriously weird how you refuse to listen, I have nothing to gain by helping you but you seem to be suffering. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ideas_of_reference_and_delusions_of_reference

It's on my mind but it's not like it was ever on yours when it was my day so idgaf you just want what you can't have

>>18576387
you're stubborn. You're the one that won't even fucking try to see what I'm saying.

if you did then you would clearly fucking see a pattern. You would have to be either incredibly fucking stupid, an asshole, or doing this on purpose.

I'm 23 years old. I took a semester off college and switched majors. Everyone around me is graduated and moving on with their lives. I'd have a year left, but I just got rejected from methods. I haven't told my parents, but boy do I feel like a huge fucking failure. My parents keep asking me how soon I'm going to graduate since they keep paying despite my protests. The anxiety eats away at me every single day. How do I cope without being the worst of the worst and falling behind literally everyone else I know in life?

>>18576464
I'm in a similar position, same age. I changed the topic for my thesis a couple of times and went through a very rough period. I should've graduated in march at most and now it's august and I'm still not close to finishing. What I tell myself is that in some years a couple of extra months won't matter. Though university is free here so I guess it's not the same situation. Sorry, I just wanted to say that I feel you. It'll pass. Hang in there.

Why is help so expensive? Why is it so hard to just have somebody by my side? I just want to live normally and healthily like everyone else but I'm not strong. I would like just one person I can lean on for support but I always have to give them more than what I have or constantly beg them to even care. There is so much "support" and "compassion" for people like me on the internet but it doesn't happen in real life for me. How am I supposed to recover? I just want to be healthy and active like everyone else. Is this it for me?

>>18576329
You ignore them and move on. If they hurt you, you can claim you've been targeted and you'll be compensated. Always audio record yourself around bitches. Proof is everything in situations such as these.

I must be evil from now on, people around me don't really deserve my nice side, i should save it for my side and my closest of kin.

Was on the bus today and saw a fat woman giving her not-older-than-2 baby girl Sprite. Her friend was also fat and so was another older little girl with them.

How is paedophilia still a thing with all these little ogres running about?

Go back to the swamp reeeeeeeeeee

>>18576464
Fuck them?
You are your own people. Have your own things you are living through.
Also 23 is young.
I'm 29 this year and only have an AS to my name. Still have 4 years to get a B.S. in EE. That's if I dont fuck up more.

You feel like a failure, yet you're a much better path than many, so what if there are others ahead of you. Life is a marathon, not a race. If your parents can't understand that, you have to sit them down and explain that you are doing your best to figure out what will make you happy. You owe them nothing. They owe you the world. That's how this works. You are not their investment. Sit them down and tell them to relax, that in the long run you exactly what you are doing and a few detours do not stop you from where you are going. The stress they are putting on you is not needed, that you appreciate the help and the effort they have made to get you there, but ultimately it is your life to live and figure out.

How do you cope? By not comparing yourself to them. Their judgement means nothing. When you die and leave this plane, who will be with you when you go? Them? Or just you? That's who's opinion on you should matter, yours.

Focus on your work and your life. What others say will not pit clothes on your back, nor food on your table. You will.
These are distractions, manifestations of your fear. Prove them wrong by succeeding in you wish to achieve success in. In being happy with yourself.

There is no point in accomplishing great tasks if you at the end of the day you hate yourself.

God dammit stop trying to push me away. I know you struggle with depression and anxiety but man, I'm here for you. You've pulled away from me so hard recently. Just fucking let me in. Let me be there beside you to get through this shit together. I know you think you'll get hurt being near me, or you don't deserve this, just take my fucking hand and I promise we'll come out the other side together.

I will never get her back

Matthew,

Seek help already instead of trying to using her as medicine and lashing out at vulnerable children.

>>18576389
I only want what felt right, what I put a lot of effort into. I want you to understand that everything was done from a place of care and love, not from a thirsty whore. I had turned my back on everything you vilified to keep the peace, this should have shown you that I cared and loved you.

I will fucking bite someone.

>>18576622
Bless you anon. Your words mean the world to me.

I'm done with this void that is pretty much eating me alive, i feel like nothing will fill it because i'm such a perfectionist motherfucker, i need reality to punch me in the face

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zmj5BV16Toc&feature=youtu.be

I need some way to segue from this topic, to you having lunch or dinner with me tomorrow. also now I'm really confused and I don't know what's going on so I have to figure out all that before I can even respond and then it will be short notice.

I can't let there be obvious conversation but I'm grateful for the updates.

You ruined my life. If you let me cut contact the second I tried to get rid of you my life would have been so much better. You ruined everything. I would've been such a different, better person without you. I loath you but I could never wish you bad. I hope you're well because karma got you once and it's going to get you again.

FUcking kill me or free me.

I don't understand what's so fucking hard about that.

You want me soooo fucking badly to just take the car and start driving. What happens when I run out of gas? what happens when I reach the coast? Same ol fucking bullshit. It's all for your entertainment.

So I remain doing nothing until you realize it's more of a benefit for you to end this fucking game than to keep it running. You have so fucking much more to gain by setting me free. Why the fuck won't you do it?

I hate life. I'm not suicidal but I fucking hate life. I've tried to cut back on my expenses, from everything ranging to food (i've eaten nothing but rice, pasta, and potatoes for the last 8 months which has ruined my health but kept me relatively in the black), I cut my phone off, because they were too expensive, and lost my job because "I couldn't be reached easily enough". I've been struggling to pay bills as it is, but now, in an act of kindness I gave an old friend use of some space in the back of my house. He let his family move in, which was fine, I told him i'd up his rent, but he hasn't paid. I threaten to kick him out, and he refuses to pay. I don't want to kick his little girl out, because it's a dick move. But at this point I'm 900 dollars behind on my bills, and my power's getting cut off tomorrow, along with my water, I've been juggling shit that his family's been using up. I have no job prospects, I'm ineligible for disability and unemployment, so there's nothing left for me. Again, I'm not suicidal, but I fucking hate life. I don't know what to do anymore. I just wanted to vent, because tomorrow's going to come and I have no idea what's after that. I might just end up living on the street with no car and no possessions as I've sold every bit of furniture I have except this shitty PC I got for free that was riddled with malware that was just going to be trashed at an office max, and it's not worth anything. So tomorrow is going to be it. I'll figure out what happens. Hopefully I don't end up laying in a ditch somewhere though.

>>18576773
I try to help as I can. You'll be alright anon. You have much ahead of you, just keep moving and you'll be fine. Good luck and keep your spirits up.

All that being said...

I'm extremely tempted to just lighting the house on fire and driving the fucking as fast as I can away from this prison.

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So a week ago my friend and I decided we wanted to have sex in her apartment while her mom was away. Everything was going well and she was enjoying it, but midway through the condom broke and she wasn't on birth control. We panicked and I ran to the store to buy the morning after pill. Two hours later I showed up in the parking lot and gave her the pill since her mom was back from work. I expected her to open it in my car, however she ended up taking it into the apartment and her mom found the box.

A few days later she texted me that she got her phone taken away. So I waited a few more days and she told me the pill worked and that her mom is made her go to therapy on Wednesday because she thought I had manipulated her. She tried and explain that this wasn't the case but her mom wasn't listening. So I told her I know that this whole thing happened between us but I hoped that we could still talk like we had before. She then told me that if it meant I wanted to have sex then it wasn't gonna happen. She told me before that she wanted to be in a relationship at some point and that she thinks we should consider it later but when we text it's kind of obvious that she's more reluctant to talk than usual.

Should I wait it out and text her or should I let her text me first? I really want to be more than friends since we used to get along so well but I don't know how to ease her suspicion if she thinks all I want is sex or how I should go about talking to her again.

Also, today I'm going to a party and I'm pretty sure she's gonna be there. I'm hoping it's not awkward but is there anything I can do to make it not awkward?

>>18572796

You went through something scary and traumatic.

To cope, your mind wants you to think this is "normal".

Rape fantasies and promiscuous behaviour "normalises" what happens to you.

It's why raped girls often turn into huge sluts that are pretty much guaranteed to cheat.

Of course, it can go the other extreme and they'll want nothing to do with sex.

Very few rape victims manage to avoid either extreme.
I'd recommend seeing a shrink or something, to avoid going over either edge.

alright I don't know what to do with this. what happened here.

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pic related. my texting game.

I honestly get really disappointed when I think about how unlikely it is that I will ever get to have a sexy incestuous experience.

No matter what I post on any board on any site almost no one ever responds to me. So, it's pretty much no different from my real life.

Guess I'm not allowed to talk to anyone at work now. Where I should be talking with others to work. Great.

>>18577160
Internet friends are shit anyway bro, consider yourself lucky really.

If you wanted to be free, you could have just asked. Enjoy your 19 yo "side piece", I hope she brings you great joy.

>>18577219
trust me, 19 year old pussy always does.

>>18577226
Degenerate

I need you. I love you.

>>18577238
Aw someone's fee fees are hurt that there's a reality outside your narrow self-delusion.

Another year of college is about to start, which means another year of a whole bunch of new anxieties to deal with.

I recently found out I'm bisexual after I fell in love with a woman. Now I feel suicidal because I can't handle coming out of the closet.

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>>18572008
Is it a good idea to give up Pharmacy to go to this school?

This is Rochester Institute of Technology.

>>18577243
You're the reason why I exist.

You're a shit person. Despite what you think, it's not acceptable to revel in it.

>>18577385
no im not ur daddy bitch, but in a few hours with me u will be calling me daddy

>>18577323
You don't have to explain anything to anyone. Keep your relationship private -- it's much better than posting it all over for people to ruin it with their melodrama. At the same time, don't hide your partner. take them out and parade them but don't post your personal information about your relationship and your issues on the Internet for people to chime in on. Make sense?

>>18572008
Fantazia,

Fuck you. Fuck you. I fucking hate you. Youre such a motherfucking bitch. You think the world owes you something, you think you deserve some type of special treatment. Well the fuck it aint commin from me. You dont know me. You dont know my life. Stop acting like a little whiny bitch all the time. Dont think Im gonna kiss your stupid ass like Candice does cause i have way more pride and self esteem than that dumb bitch. You get mad for no reason and ive literally had to put up with it but now im done. dont think you can talk to me in a shitty way without receiving the same attitude back. its time you got a taste of your own medicine and learned a lesson, that people in this world will treat you how you treat them or worse.

>>18577368
Depends what you want to study. If it's your dream field, DO IT.

RIT is a great school.
If you hate pharma, don't waste years of your life unless you need the cash.

i fucked up i fucked up i fucke up time to kill myself holly shit did i fuck it up why can't something fall on my shit head already and kill me? what's the point of going to a psychiatrist and taking anti depressants if you don't stop fucking up everything you do

just had to inform myself about a dead line and i lost it look at what i'm doing with my life i'll just go and die

I'm going to be trying edgeplay with my fwb this weekend and I'm so fucking nervous about it, ugh. We've only had sex twice so far so I'm not familiar enough with his body to know what his "tells" are. I just hope we have fun with it.

E, I don't know what's going on anymore and I think I know for sure you don't want to be around me. I like to think that I tried showing that I cared, but I'm bad at showing it. This distance has disconnected me from any feelings I had once felt. Maybe it's my fault, maybe I came at a bad time. There are 50 stories I've conjured up as to why this happened, and it's fucking me up. So for now, I'm leaving you be and if you decide to contact me again, that would be great. If not, I'll just move on like I've always have. But I enjoyed the time spent with you. I had a really good feeling about you, but that shit has to go both ways.

A, I think you're adorable and if we weren't coworkers, I would have asked you out a year ago. I'll try and get closer with you one way or another, even if it's just as friends. I know it will be weird if I were to ask you out. But I might do it anyways. Fuck it.

M

I don't have anyone to vent out to anymore. I chose to be alone and the last day and a half has been a rough patch. I'm on summer break with no license so going out and meeting people isn't even an option at the moment. I feel lost and I pray that this comes to an end real soon.

>>18577498
Last initials?

I want to be able to fight people. I've met people that don't know when to shut up, always want the last word and keep talking thinking they are invincible. They have all been black women and are making me racist.

One time I got fed up with a co-worker because I was getting stressed out and she would keep pestering me any time I slipped up. It got to the point where I had to go to the other side of the kitchen but I still heard her bitching to/about me. Eventually despite me and everyone asking her to stop talking plenty of times, I pinned her against the wall by the throat and I quickly got pulled back. I walked to the break room and cried since I thought everyone was going to side with her. The manager told me to go on break and I went home. When I came back she and I didn't say anything for the rest of my shift and I haven't heard about it since.

If someone is mad, the best thing to do is to leave them alone, don't talk to them.

My girlfriend has a superiority complex, which is aided by her liberal bias. I just like traditional families, is all, and I feel alone in my relationship. I want to bail but I do love her. I wish it could work out because I don't know if what I'm looking for exists anymore

>>18576387
Don't even bother Anon, this guy has been haunting this place for almost a year now, just don't engage and If you notice one of his onvious posts just scroll down. He will not listen and will get crazy aggressive. He is indeed sick or just a troll that wants to make himself famous playing the emo artist.

>>18577572
It does, just not with her. Leave her to find another liberal guy to share her interests with and find you a fit fash girl to raise babies with.

(Call me)

>>18577572
It does, just not with her. Leave her to find another liberal guy to share her interests with and find you a fit fash girl to raise babies with.

(Call me)

>>18573656
this. it's shocking how little people care

it's all about putting yourself out there

>>18577590
I really just can't see it from their view at all. I've tried so many times and the logic of tradition makes so much more sense to me. How can they think like that? Can a liberal here help me?

>>18577594
people are so cold its crazy. how would you put yourself out there without being phased by all the negative?

>>18577466
How would you know that RIT is a great school?

Have you been there?

I just want a young twenty something with a tight pussy to ride me and fall in love with me. Is that so much to ask?

Every time I'm in a relationship that's going well I fuck it up so hard that it surprised even me. It's like a fucking defense mechanism kicks in and I crash that shit with no survivors. You would be amazed at how fast I can make a woman go from dripping wet to no contact

>>18573651

If you get 10 years older you'll realize that 'real conversations' are just permutations of the same old shit.

Conversation in itself is nothing more than a form of communication designed to make being together as people easier. That's why its called smalltalk.

What it does is put tension easing and feeling of growing together into the empty space created by the meeting of two people, either acquaintances, long term friends, or lovers.

People think there's some mystical relationship realm where friends and lovers always talk about 'deep meaningful stuff'.

That's bullshit. Stop buying that crap.

I've had... three major love interests in my life. Each one came with a lesson.

>The first: never guilt anyone into caring about you. If you want them to care about you, give them a damn good reason. Otherwise they pity you.
>The second: don't rush into things. Let things happen as they do and see where it goes.
>The third: have the guts to say what you really want to say, because if you don't take that chance, you don't know what could happen.

With the first, I'd like to believe I've learned never to guilt anyone. This was back in high school too, and I regret being a huge jerk. With the second, I'm now hesitant to get closer to anyone because I don't want to rush into anything. But... unfortunately, that lead to the third: where I was then too anxious and scared and because of that, gutless. I lacked the guts to say what I damn well should have said at a certain time, and now, it's too late.

I have absolutely no idea why I'm writing this all out, what to expect or think of a fourth romance (if it even happens honestly). I guess it's like... if I do end up falling for someone again, I have to have the guts to say how I feel and then NOT take it too far or rush it... right?

>>18577787
No it isn't. Unfortunately culture has pushed this possibility far away. Culture should be about satisfying the desires of its members, not making everyone unhappy.

>>18577946
I am trying to avoid your third situation right now but as I'm saying these things, as I'm flirting, as I'm pushing things physically, I've got a huge part of me trying to stop everything I'm doing because of the same reasons as your second situation. it's a mess and I just need to get over this hump.

>>18574726
You don't want to marry her

>>18578015
Its a natural instinct to wanna fuck manty different people as a man.

In nature, the alpha gorilla or chimp gets many women, the rest of the males get one or none.

Marriage is reigning in of that primal urge.

The two are not incapable of existing together.

>>18578025
Typical male comparing himself to an ape and believing in the alpha/beta dichotomy because daddy didn't love you enough. Not everyone is a degenerate like you.

>>>/pol/

>>18578268

>thinks that the entire world acts on the alpha/beta dynamic for all animals.

>thinks humans are immune to that dynamic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3XYHPAwBzE


Apparently you think either humans aren't animals (which is incorrect), or that humans have evolved beyond animals (which is also incorrect, since we get parts of our brain from reptiles and mammals respectively).

SO yeah. go fuk urself.

Axel, I hate you. I hate you as much as a human being can possibly, physically hate someone.

You're a cunt. 6 years, ALL of high school, and the entirety of the time I've known you I've always despised you. You cocky piece of human garbage. I hope your relationship fails, or better, I hope your slutty girlfriend that I've already been with dies in a horrible crash, and you don't even get to say goodbye. You mean nothing to the world just like all of us. Take a bath with a toaster you fat shit. I'd recommend hanging, but we BOTH know ropes aren't that sturdy.

>>18578319

I simply cannot support the ranting of someone who isn't intelligent enough to suggest hanging by winch cable to offset the fatness.

>>18578326
You underestimate. how big this mexican dickholster is.

you're not even interested, like at all are you? this is not going to go well. why not just say no? re reading all that you are thoroughly not enthused and being like, passive aggressive af on a deeply vague level. I didn't catch it cause it happened over several hours but reading all that at once, you really don't want to do this at all and you really don't like me. so why would you not just say no?

ffs, unless you just don't come across well over text, the only reason you're doing this is for the food and everyone else knows it.

oh man, if you could all just not. I don't need or want this like this. ugh, everything is gonna go sideways.

>>18578290
>generic psych 101 response

How's community college treating ya, bud? $58 a semester obviously makes you a smart goy

I miss you and I know that I still love you somehow. But I secretly hope your life will be ruined and destroyed worse than what you did with mine. I hope that some day, you will realize what you've done and regret breaking off our engagement.. you cheating bastard.

I feel like im terrible at literally everything I do. I have no talent or natural aptitude for anything. I do nothing but disappoint poeple. I am nobodys best friend, I am just there. Im a 22 year old male and I feel like everyone my age is so far ahead of me. I dont feel attracrive, I dont feel smart, I dont feel successful. I feel like there is nothing good about me. Any bit of confidence I have is faked, im embarrassed and ashamed of how little I am. I was molested as a child and I fear physical intimacy even if I felt like I even deserved it. I cried like an infant when I almost lost my virginity, the moment she took my clohes off I felt so little and afraid she was going to somehow hurt me I couldnt stop shaking and crying and apologizing. I'm afraid im going to live as a failure and im going to die alone.

Poor lil Harvard, Ivy League et al. beasties mad that I'm in a better position than them :(((((((((
At least you'll have really expensive puppet wire holding you guys up look on the bright side :)))))))))))))