This girl im dating

>>18570985
well she did spend 4 years of her life with this guy. But i'd question how they broke up. Maybe the fell out of love but still liked being friends. You can also put her through some truth tests.

>>18571017
She tells me he started ignoring her. And didnt feel she was being "seen" or something in those tracks. It's just odd. They have regular contact, and talk as far as i know pretty much everyday on facebook, and hang out once, and sometimes two times a week.
I cant make up my mind on wether she still has feelings for him (She claims she doesn't) or not

>>18571039
ya i get it, it is fucking weird. If he was "distant" then wouldn't he still be like that? why would she hang out with someone who's distant? how long ago did they break up?

>>18571042
Not that long. About 7-8ish months ago

>>18571050
did she date anyone in-between that time like a rebound?

>>18571080
Yes, she was with a guy for about a month.

>>18571085
eh its really up to you anon. How does she react if you tell her not to hang out with him. or show that your uncomfortable with it?

>>18571110
Yeah, the thing is i can get really rallied up over somewhat trivial stuff at times so i'm unsure if I'm just overreacting this.
She says she understands me, but since he is such a good friend she doesn't want to cut him out of her life. And assures me that there is nothing of a romantic nature going on.

>>18571115
I get you overact over little shit i do it to sometimes.

But id go go back to her word choice
>such a good friend
but she said he ignored her and she didn't feel like she was being "seen"
that doesn't really sound like good friend behavior even if they were dating at the time.

Why would she feel bad for cutting all ties with him? he's the one who fucked up. Her logic doesn't really add up

It really comes down to if she's lying or not which is kinda hard to truly know.

you could try sitting down with her and explaining these feelings. Ask her to do something that will show she's being truth full. like hanging out with her ex less. idk for sure just an example.

>>18571131
Yeah, i have some issues with that, but i've gotten better at sorting it out, and keeping my headspace clear so that it doesn't really pose a problem.

Well he has tried to shape up apparently in order to maintain the friendship.
And i know she has skipped out on plans with him to be with me on numerous occasions. And to me that seems like a good sign(?)

>>18571142
ya thats defiantly a good sign. As long as she prioritizes you over him on major things then i see no reason for infidelity.

>>18571148
My thoughts too.
When i'm with her she seems wholehearted about our time together. Hence why i feel like my head just might be trying to fuck me over. But you hear all these stories, and that you can't be friends with your ex in any way, and you know, that doesn't really help

>>18571156
ya i get it.

>fucking her ex because they still talk

well from what information i gathered i wouldn't worry. Just keep fighting that voice that fucks with you abut it. Unless something serious comes up thats worth questioning and enjoy the ride.

>>18571174
Thanks a lot anon. You've been really helpful.
Il keep pushing, and enjoy the time we get, nothings for certain anyway. Ex or not.

>>18571182
thats a great way to look at it, I hope it works out anon good luck!

>>18570985
Do not do this OP. Here is what happens. This girl will tell her ex, that she formerly fucked, everything about you and her relationship with you. Everything, think about this a minute. You tell her shit in confidence about yourself, you have a minor disagreement with her, etc and when they lay up and have their quality time together she will tell him everything. You fuck up or piss her off, guess who she calls. You will never be number one as long as she keeps him around.

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94KB, 278x540px

If she is up front with her visits and gives you information at a request, she is trust worthy and feels confident enough to let you know about her plutonic relationship so she sounds loyal.

Don't get too emotionally involved. Don't fall in love. There is a real possibility that there are unresolved feelings between her and the ex especially since the relationship ended with him pulling away which means there are likely unresolved feelings and she's still somewhat attracted to him. I'm not saying she's cheating on you but the circumstances would be perfect for it. She's already spending time with him and you seem to be okay with it.

>>18572472
>>18572428
>>18572154
OP here again.

Yeah this is what im thinking too, considering she doesn't seem any need to hide it from me it makes it seem like i can trust her. But i have been taking into regards that she is something she already "knows" and that it would be easy for her to relapse back to him. I guess it's also worth mentioning that she broke up with him, and they share a dog together and that naturally makes it so they have to meet at times.

I'm trying not to get emotionally involved, but its difficult, she is a really sweet girl, and we get along great. She keeps telling me that she has gotten quite attached to me during the 3 months we've been together and that she wants to be with me. I choose to believe her simply because i feel that theres no guarantees either way, and when i actually find someone who i connect with (i have issues with just getting friends, so when i fall for someone i tend to take it serious).

>>18572497
That sweetness can be disarming, but you've only been dating a few months. She's still on her best behavior and you're only seeing the image she puts forward of herself. Even then she has developed this strong attachment to you but is still spending time alone with another man she fairly recently had a romantic (and presumably sexual) relationship with. All kinds of alarms are going off in my head. Is she so inexperienced in relationships that she can't see how this would make you uncomfortable/insecure or does she just not care? What proof do you have that she's loyal and absolutely wouldn't cheat with this man she has already been with?

I was reading on some forums about a similar situation a year ago and someone posted "no ammount of controlling behaviour will stop somebody from cheating". It isn't in your control.

I think the fact she's honest about him is a really good sign. The only line id draw is getting drunk one on one with the guy. I know how this situation feels op but wait it out and see what happens, based on her honesty she seems like a decent girl.

I think its worth note, if she ever asks or otherwise the opportunity presents itself, be open about how you feel. Tell her you are uncomfortable but you trust her and won't make any attempts to change her etc

>>18570985
I'll tell you a similar experience from the other experience.

I've had an on and off again with a girl for right over 4 years.

It stopped being full time around 2 years ago. But we have had spurts we're we are on again for months at a time and stop.

Finally about a month ago, I just told her I was burnt out and couldn't do the back and forth anymore.

Last night we had wild passionate sex.

How is this similar?

She's in a relationship with someone else.

>>18572566
I'll tell you a similar experience from the other perspective.

Sorry

>>18572514
>>18572534
>>18572568
She hasn't done anything to "prove" it so to speak, besides being honest about her being with him just the two of them and so forth.
I've also talked to her best friend about this, when we were at a party (she brought it up) and she told me i didn't need to worry, and that if femanon (lets just refer to my girl as that for now) said she cared for me that it was something she truly meant and that she's not the type of girl to say stuff like that just for some personal gain or whatever.
Femanon has had some relationships before him, but nothing serious. So i guess thats why this guy is important to her. She doesn't get mad if i mention that "this and that" is not okay and we can talk about pretty much anything that makes either me or her insecure and solve it without it chipping away at our relationship

Her being drunk just him and her would be an absolute no. And that doesn't happen either as far as i'm aware. I too feel that she is being open about this in a way that makes it feel sincere.
But as mentioned my worried head has tendencies to make the worst out of every single situation when it comes to girls I'm dating. And having ruined a few of my relationships due to this earlier i figured i oughta talk to someone about this.

Of course, that is always the possibility, and this is why I'm unsure about the situation, she could be fucking him each and every time she is with him. I must again say, i have no guarantees for anything as it always is when entering a relationship.

You are the only one who can know what you can take, what you can accept.

You have reason, apparently, to trust her, she is open about this relationship, however, there are people who knows how to hide things in the open and put the burden in the other ("how come you are so insecure anon, he is only my friend, if I had something to hide, then why telling you? and so on).

If I were you, I would be very clear about my limits and the importance that I want to be given in the relationship, and no, is not about being "insecure", is about developing a relationship in which, is important to feel safe with each other.

>>18572497
>and they share a dog together
come on OP, this is used as a reason to stay connected. I understand if they had a kid but its a dog. It makes no difference if she broke up with him or not. This is the continuation of their 4 year relationship not the end and the start of her moving on. Seriously, when a woman is done with a guy she's done with him and when she really wants a new guy she'll get rid of the old one. To be fair, they had a long relationship so it is normal for it to take awhile to fall out of love.

>>18572577
>I've also talked to her best friend about this
who the fuck does this junior high shit as an adult? seriously

>>18570985
Dog she is almost certainly getting filled by that Nagger. She's keeping you around as you're better for now, you should have lynched when she dared to utter
>"he's shaping up now..."
>"for the [relationship] friendship".

Download spyware onto her phone and have it record every time she goes to meet this Nagger. I guarantee they're fucking, right now she's cucking both of y'all. She's blatantly trying to see whom is best to keep on, she is laughing at you as you're so beta you actually think its okay.