Meeting my daughter for the first time today

>>18570661
I am suspect of the mother's motives. I smell greed...

Watch your ass. Don't get so lost in the moment you do something you'll regret. Research the applicable laws.

>>18570679
Obviously the possibility of her trying to get money out of this is there, but I don't think it is likely.

She is making good money on her own and comes from a family that is loaded.

Furthermore even if she was going to take me to court for child support that would not be the end of the world.

>>18570661
please dont see her just to leave her again. this is very confusing for a child.

My father left me when I was a baby and had some "epiphany" of wanting to get to know me after 8 years of abandoning me. He hung out with me a few times and never came back after. It felt like shit to get abandoned all over again but be forced to remember it that time. I felt like I wasn't good enough, that I was unwanted, and that I was worthy of being rejected by the man who put me on this earth.

As a result I have horrible abandonment issues that fuck up my romantic relationships, and awful self esteem. I had diagnosed depression when I was 10 years old.

For the love of your daughters sanity do not visit her unless you intend to stick around. Do not be selfish just because you have temporary feelings of wanting to reach out.

If the best father you can be is to stay away from her you best be doing that.

>>18570689
Still, research the laws. Best to be prepared and not need it than to need it and not have it.

She is not going to be what you think. Except her for who she is. She is not broken, your perception of her is.

>>18570691
I am sorry to hear about your experiences and am determined to not do anything of that nature to my daughter.

As I tried to explain in my post, up until now I did try to hold my own feelings of wanting to get to know her back because I had agreed on it being this way years back. I felt like me trying to force myself into her life was not my choice but was something that either my daughter or her mother should initiate (had they ever done so I would have been there asap).

But I did change my mind on that approach now and it seems like I did mess up by not doing so earlier already. I didn't have a lot of time to talk to my former partner a lot this morning but as I said, she seemed very happy with the development.

>>18570700
Accept*

>>18570701
Good I am glad that you intend to stick around. Are you going to move to the area though? or make regular trips every month? Not doing this can give her a sense of abandonment anyway.

As for getting to know her I remember that I just loved to spend quality time with my father the few times I did. He took me to a concert (he was a musician), watched spongebob with me, and showed me his favorite old timey films. Just spend genuine time with her and make her feel noticed and like she is worth your time.

>>18570758
>Are you going to move to the area though? or make regular trips every month?

That really depends on what she and her mother wants. I work as a freelancer and would have no issues relocating to Switzerland (I have lived there for three years, which is how we met in the first place).

I did go through some of the emails I have received over the years and just skimmed them for important information. She likes going for walks along the lake there so I thought I'd take her for one.
I don't really have any solid plans aside from that.

>>18570772
this isnt about her mother though, this is about your child and her needs. stick around for her and move back if thats what you really want. you have the right to get to know your child and support your child. the mother shouldnt take that away from you if you are a fit parent. you kinda messed up by not signing the birth cert but you can always get a court order to change that right?

>>18570758
>>18570772


I also wanted to say that showing your child who you are is important too. I loved getting to know who my father was because I was always curious as to who her was. I only had descriptions from my mother, it was very cool to see who he actually was and what his likes/dislikes were. Share who you are with her as well as getting to know her.

>>18570788
I will try to open up to her as much as I can and make sure to show her what I am all about. Some of the things her mother and I are into might not be something to bring up to a child of her age but I will talk about this with her mother beforehand. I'd also like to know what she has told her about me already, if she told her anything at all.

thank you a lot for your input, its three in the morning over here and I just can't find no sleep

>>18570781
I don't think she would ever take any action to harm her daughter in any way and I do not think going to court over this will be necessary should my daughter really want me there with her.

I think its important to note that things between us didnt end on a bad note or anything.

>>18570679
>>18570700
I agree with this anon.

Prepare to lose a ton of money.