ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

do you want to have sex with me?

To everyone here! (Slight errors in grammar ahead. Please excuse me :D)

How do I properly convey to a girl that I like her?

I started liking this girl ever since she came into the same college I'm in and I have never been in an actual relationship(it was a disaster, the first one) even though I'm 20.

So my question is, do I tell like
>Hey, i just wanna say that I like you.
or
>Hey, I have a confession to make. I like you. I know I'm pretty quick on everything. You can take your time to think and if your opinion is no, I'm fine with that either. Have a nice day.

Is the second one okay? Because after my first catastrophic relationship, I've learned to accept rejections almost everywhere because it put me into several mental breakdowns and I learned to move on.

Telling about this girl; from what I have learned, she's a quiet type but extremely talented in so many art activities. She shelved up several prizes in the first 3 months she came in. She's always in that friends circle where most of em are the popular ones but I've seen her to be pretty nice.

I don't know what exactly made me like her but I like her. I have talked to her previously when I was the captain for a group and she was my group member. I really liked the way she talked to me and the way she was supporting me in activities which were needed for the group. A really nice girl in whole. From then, we have only exchanged smiles and hi-byes.

>I could tell even more and more about her hehe

We are currently having a vacation of 2 months and have a month remaining. So I think I have enough time to prepare.

Help me guys.

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>my mom has a meetup with one of her old college friends
>I have to go with her
>her friend's daughter is going to be there
>mom tells me, "I'm letting you know ahead of time that she's really pretty so you won't be surprised, she's around your age" (I'm 21)
>yeah, I've seen pretty girls before
>the day comes
>she reminds me that this girl is really hot
>she shows me a picture of her in a bikini
>mom, what the hell
>we finally meet them
>yeah, she's pretty
>mom asks "what grade are you in?"
>"I'm going into 10th"
>mfw

What did she mean by this?

Asking again because last thread I got a single, not particularly helpful answer.

Femanons - what could cause you to leave your boyfriend for another guy? (something more specific than 'because I like him more' please)
Assume the situation is that you see your bf once a week or less and you spend several hours every day with the other guy for school/studying/work, the other guy is more attractive than your bf .
I ask because my girlfriend is in this situation and I'm paranoid.

Do you like being woken up by a blow job or is it awkward because you need to pee first thing in the morning?

>>18568295
Boners override the primal urge to piss. Suck away femanon.

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>>18568050

>>18568279
Well for one you're insecure, and two you're beta. So there is that, and you admitted he is more attractive, so what kind of answer are you looking for boss? Dick size? Height? Money?

>>18568227
she knows youre a beta that can only get a girl thats way younger, thank her either way and go for it

>>18568157
Neither of those things are a good idea. By telling someone you like them you put them on the spot and they are required to either outright accept you or outright reject you, and you're more likely to get the latter, even from a girl who would have at least gone on a date with you.

Ask her if she wants to hang out or go out or whatever language you want to use. Suggest an activity, see if she's interested, don't be pushy about it if she turns you down.

>hehe
That's creepy as fuck don't use that as your laugh when you talk to her.

>>18568304
I don't even know. I'm just confused as to why she spends so much time with this guy while staying in a relationship with me.
We've been together for four years now, and she's known this guy for three. They've done this study/taking classes together thing for about a year and a half.
I'm almost positive she's not cheating on me, but I just don't know.
>Dick size?
Don't know his, I'm exactly average
>Height?
He's like four inches taller than me
>Money?
I come from a wealthy family and from what I've heard my gf say, he doesn't, so at least I have that going for me.

>>18568332
>I come from a wealthy family and from what I've heard my gf say, he doesn't, so at least I have that going for me.
Yes, it's so attractive when a guy relies on mommy and daddy for pocket money

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How has having a threeway affected your relationship?

Is it better to do them with hook ups or people we're friendly with?

>>18568337
From what I've heard from women it is, and my gf definitely likes the shit I buy her and the things I can do for her

femanons
i asked this last thread but didnt receive many answers
>has your boyfriend ever asked about a mff 3 way?
if he hasnt
>what would be your reaction to him proposing that?
>what was your reaction?
>did you go through with it?
>what was the end result?
>would you go through it again?
>how long did your relationship ask?

>>18568279
The only thing that would make me leave him is if my bf grew cold towards me, questioned my fidelity, tried to control how I spend my time etc. Basically, he would have to fuck up majorly. I'm with my bf because I love him. The other guy is a non-factor.

>>18568340
It ruins relationships pretty fast.

>>18568342
I hope the golddigger is worth it
>inb4 all women are golddiggers

>>18568346
That's nice to hear.
So no matter what your friendship with the other guy is like you wouldn't leave your bf unless things became significantly worse with him?

>>18568344
He hasn't. If he asked, I would shoot it down. Sorry, too possessive.

>>18568355
Pretty much. And even if I did leave him, there's no guarantee I would actually end up with the other guy. There's a reason we're friends and not something more. Granted, feelings can develop, but still.

>>18568344
>has your boyfriend ever asked about a mff 3 way?
yes
>what would be your reaction to him proposing that?
hesitant but curious
>what was your reaction?
see above
>did you go through with it?
yes
>what was the end result?
left him, it was too weird between us from then on
>would you go through it again?
hell no
>how long did your relationship ask?
last? after that, maybe a few weeks i guess

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>>18568279
>gf was in a dark place and went to some kind of care place for a while
>basically some place where you stay, tend the gardens, go to support group etc
>barely get to see her because working and visitor hours there
>when im there i see shes made a friend or two, including a guy
>have that gut feel that shits not good
>we talk a bit later and she asks if im fine with her being friends with him
>i dont want to be selfish and stupid so i say its fine since i figure she needs the support
>completely ignoring my gut feeling
>week later she cheated one me with him
>she tells me while crying the next day
>just sit next to her while she sobs
>she keeps asking me to say something
>say nothing and just leave
>blocked all communication
I'm a little bitter toward women since this isn't the first time I've been cheated on. No matter how many chances I give, it still seems to happen but usually its with coworkers now. Fuck this world.

>>18568380
fuck anon, im sorry that shit happened to you. not all women are like that. fuck that story hit close to home

>>18568380
Yeah, I've got that guy feeling you mentioned
Not sure what to do though and it's been a year and a half without any cheating that I know of so should I even do anything?

>>18568400
>not all women are like that.
Yeah I know but I don't date much anymore as a result. To be fair the last girl I was with didn't cheat, she just lied about the strangest things for some reason. So I have some difficulty trusting women as a result.

>>18568411
>it's been a year and a half without any cheating
That relationship I mentioned was a 3 year relationship. Time doesn't matter when it comes to cheating, it all comes down to how much they give a shit about you at that point.

>>18568411
Oh yeah, trust your gut feeling. I get it for many things and every time it turns out right, even when I really wish it wouldn't.

>>18568322
>By telling someone you like them you put them on the spot and they are required to either outright accept you or outright reject you, and you're more likely to get the latter, even from a girl who would have at least gone on a date with you.
Yes. But I really don't mind if she says a no and I respect that opinion.
So does that mean, it's still okay to confess to her int he second way I meant?

Hanging out part, sure I'll do that.

nah man

Guys

If there is girl you think is hot/attractive/nice, and you had a sexual encounter or two, would you ever secretly think "hey I banged her first, when you kiss her you kiss my dick" when she finds boyfriend that she loves?

Like, do you feel you marked the territory before him?

>>18568295
I usually only have morning wood when I need to pee, so I wouldn't recommend it on me, don't know of that's normal though, I don't usually talk about that stuff

>>18568677
Nope, never.

However, if a friend started dating someone that I'd previously dated, then I would feel that way.

>>18568682
>However, if a friend started dating someone that I'd previously dated, then I would feel that way.
Why would you think that if its a friend? But not a stranger (whom you maybe see on Instagram or whatever) ?

>>18568693
Probably because it's something like he knew her only because she went out with me and how during that time he might of been pining for her or something.

A friend went out with a girl I dated and all I could see when I looked at either of them was "sloppy seconds". I wasn't the only one either, most people thought of it that way since the only way he knew her was through me.

>>18568677
I have a friend who only fucks virgins so he can mark his territory first. He takes great pleasure in it, so there definitly is guys like that.

The reason why I want a virgin (not a deal breaker) is because I don't want anyone else to see her completely naked. Her hot body is for me, only.

>>18568677
>Like, do you feel you marked the territory before him?
Why do you think men fuck so much in the first place before finding a spouse? Even from an evolutionary standpoint.

Girls, what do you feel mentally when a guy shoots hot cum inside of your body?

>>18568668
Confess if you like, what I'm saying is that you are more likely to get a positive reaction out of her if you start out slow instead of leaping to telling her how you feel. Why do that and get turned down when you could bide your time and get what you want?

>>18568712
>Why do you think men fuck so much in the first place before finding a spouse? Even from an evolutionary standpoint.

Well that kind of defeats the point doesn't it? If vast majority of men had this view, then their eventual spouse would all have been marked beforehand?

>>18568340
Threesome is the official "this relationship is not gonna last" declaration, so you go out in a boom.

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>>18568677
I wouldn't think about it much. Unless he was a complete faggot, then it might make me feel smug.
Pic related, it's smug.

>>18568726
Sex is like checkers. You gotta capture the other guys pieces while preserving your own.

>>18568726
Well, the point is that the more a chick gets fucked, the less desired she is as relationship material. Why? Because 10 guys have already shot their load inside of her and seen the goods.

Why do you think gangbang is such a popular porn category? Because the chick gets completely destroyed and degraded, getting cock up her ass, urethra, 2 up her pussy, in her mouth with 3 others waiting on the side, getting slapped, chocked, pulled, spit on, and at the end showered in cum from 10 guys standing in a circle while she has tears in her eyes.

It's disgusting, animalistic and it turns both of us on for some reason .

>>18568748
Fuck, that was a great way to put it.

>>18568762
>Why? Because 10 guys have already shot their load inside of her and seen the goods

I think it's more that 10 guys have been with her and decided she wasn't good enough to keep. If a car had been through 10 owners when it's still relatively new, you'd start to wonder if it's got some serious issues under the hood.

>>18568719
That makes real sense to me now. I didn't quite get it at first because I'm not a native English speaker. Thank you so much man.

>>18568771
You're right, I'm just super horny because day 4 of nofap.

>>18568717
Amazing. I just feel really, really close to the guy. To me, one of the most beautiful moments of sex is shortly after he blows his load, stays in me for a while without thrusting and just kisses me deeply. It's not really about physical sensations, but about the sentiment.

>>18568776
>day 4
>4 days
Try 10 days you faggot. Shit is spilling when I wake up in the morning.

Guys and girls

For you to consider a person marriage material, how many past lovers do you consider reasonable, too many or too few?

Assuming some mix of relationships and ONS.

>>18568788
Her having been in a relationship actually bothers me more that ONS.

1 long relationship, 2 short, 10 ONS? The long one is the worst tbqh.

Guys - does it bother you if your girlfriend spends money on things like fashion and skincare? If so, why?

My boyfriend lately is mildly annoyed because I've been spending a little money on skincare products and better clothing. I am pretty considerate with my money. I don't understand why he's mad.

>>18568797
And it's either or, not combined.

>>18568788
>guy
>25

>reasonable
3-7
>too many
12+
>too few
0 - if you're a virgin at 25 I'd be expecting some good reason like religious reasons or used to be fat or something or I'm probably going to assume something is wrong with you.

Might be getting diagnosed with aspergers next week at age 30. Am I fucked? Can I get a gf or at least some slut to fuck (not an escort kind of slut)?

>>18568798
Is it my money/am I the breadwinner and is she spending it without really considering how my/our budget looks? Then maybe.

Is it her money? Then no.

>>18568798
The opposite. I absolutely love when women takes care of themselves and go to the gym and stuff. He is probably afraid because he thinks he's gonna end up as a cuck.

Guys and girls, state gender:

What are the LITTLE things about men/women that you like? e.g. when a guy runs his hands through his hair or the way girls always like to be touching

>>18568828
Man.

When a girl smiles at me, it just makes me want to not kill them for a good 12 hours. But seriously, when you smile, it just makes me soft and warm.

All men secretly or openly loves this. It just disarms us.

>>18568798
yeah id be so mad if my gf decided to fix her acne. worse than cheating imo

>>18568798
Not really. Unless we were pooling money and were in a tight spot or something. You both have jobs?

>>18568776
>day 4
I don't fap. Ever. I have sex twice a week though so that's enough for me.

>>18568798
It depends on how much is being spent and how often.

>>18568771
>If a car had been through 10 owners when it's still relatively new, you'd start to wonder if it's got some serious issues under the hood.

literal retard. how in the fuck is an inanimate object with obvious cost vs benefit issues in any way comparable to a sentient creature pursing an activity with another sentient creature with potentially minimal negative long term effects and lots of benefits?

>>18568862
She could on the surface look good but

>be manipulative
>be clingy
>be lazy
>be messy
>cheat a lot

Any number of possibilities and considering a poor track record of guys coming and going, it leaves an impression that somethings wrong.

Hence the car metaphor.

>>18568862
the only retard here is you senpai. lots of partners probably means shit commitment or she cheats.

>>18568862
Don't be dishonest, famalam. You neglected to quote this part
>I think it's more that 10 guys have been with her and decided she wasn't good enough to keep.
Which precisely answers your question. The assertion of "lots of benefits and minimal drawbacks" is obviously wrong if a lot of people have tried it and quit it in short order.

>>18568866
yeah. literal retard.

if a car has had 10 owner its because something is wrong with so they are cutting their loses and passing the situation on to someone else

unfortunately for your argument sex doesnt fucking work like that. sex is pleasurable and fun in and of itself you idiot shit. so, you fuck someone, but personalities are potentially not compatibilty. there isn't always an objectively right or wrong here. if i fuck a 8/10 during a ons and decide to talk to her the next day and realize she talks to much and wont stfu and she's probably annoy me really fast. likewise, i can be a girl who decides to hand some puss out to some lucky 6/10 guy who tried super duper hard one night and the next day we talk i realize he isn't as outgoing as i thought. that doesn't make the sex we had bad or regrettable it just means we had sex and don't want a relationship. there's literally endless possibilities of why people have casual sex and it doesn't lead to a relationship.

your analogy is shit and your fucking stupid

oh and to the dumbshit who came up with that faggy explanation as to why people think gangbangs are hot, its literally because she's a dirty fucking whore fucks whoever. that's it. nothing more. nothing less. she's passing out something most people work their fucking balls off for and she's passing it out like literal candy

>>18568879
well hey you're in luck because i addressed that right here

>>18568882

also,
>implying that dynamic doesn't also work in reverse

>>18568882
inb4 durrr you dont know the difference between your and you're so nothing in you post is valid

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>>18568882
>>18568884
>>18568886
Guys haven't been sticking around for you, have they?

>>18568882
kek i guess you're one of the 10 owner cars he was talking about.

>>18568808
Totally my money.

>>18568812
I've always been pretty in shape. But as I am approaching my mid 20s and my friends are starting to get wrinkles I got a little mental.
Clothing was more of a necessity. Got my first serious job, required to put big girl pants on.

>>18568845
Yup. We both have a job. I also already have a house, a car, no debt. So I'm in a pretty good spot to waste a little money, I think.

>>18568854
Realistically, I spend about 100-150$/month on it. I make more than enough to pay for it.

>>18568889
so close to making your shit ad hominem valid

>>18568884
>>implying that dynamic doesn't also work in reverse
No one is implying that. Shit, everyone knows women start liking a guy way more when he already has a girlfriend/wife.

>>18568895
>100-150$/month on it. I make more than enough to pay for it.
That's not too bad then but do you now have a ridiculous amount of clothing? Buying the stuff might not be the problem, it might be that you have a lot as it is but just keep buying more.

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>>18568895
>Yup. We both have a job. I also already have a house, a car, no debt. So I'm in a pretty good spot to waste a little money, I think.
Hmm. Maybe it just bugs him seeing money thrown away on something he doesn't quite get.

>>18568900
>>>implying that dynamic doesn't also work in reverse
>No one is implying that

>duurrr i cant fucking read
>>I think it's more that 10 guys have been with her and decided she wasn't good enough to keep.
its entirely possible the guy is the one who wasn't worth keeping around so the girl goes on her merry slutty fucking way. fucking retard

>Shit, everyone knows women start liking a guy way more when he already has a girlfriend/wife.
>dude everyone knows about this rule that literally everyone agreed on and applies to every situation ever

fucking christ just stop

>>18568901
No, I threw away a lot of stuff.
I have been getting into capsule wardrobe (less pieces, better quality, lots of basics and a few pieces with personality).
Clothing was more a necessity, I basically dressed like a high school girl. I rarely buy anything now.

I do hoard skincare products tho. That, I do.

>>18568907
I just don't want to get wrinkles , anon :( women age like milk.

>>18568908
>its entirely possible the guy is the one who wasn't worth keeping around so the girl goes on her merry slutty fucking way.
Yeah, ten times in a row.

And you're kidding yourself if you seriously don't think women don't also judge people by their relationships with others.

>fucking christ just stop
no u

>>18568917
>I just don't want to get wrinkles , anon :( women age like milk.
Chin up. At least cats like milk.

>No, I threw away a lot of stuff.
Could be he sees you buying stuff and throwing it away at the same time and thinks THAT part is crazy.
>Clothing was more a necessity, I basically dressed like a high school girl.
... or maybe he had a school girl fetish.

>>18568929
dont be an idiot. youre oversimplifying and overgeneralizing

Femanons, what would you do if some guyfriend or someone you are acquaintanced with told you he wants to buy stuff for you and even pay some of your bills?

>>18568677
No, not really.

But on the flipside I've never actually been a womans first. Maybe I could see the posturing in such a position, but it's not worth bragging that I'm her third versus him being the fourth guy to get a blowjob.

>>18568949
Tell him thanks but no thanks.

>>18568895
>I spend about 100-150$/month on it.
Seems kind of high to me but ultimately I'd leave it in your court as long as it doesn't affect other areas. Mild teasing maybe.

On the flipside I also spend a lot of money on stuff I suspect most women would find dumb or irrelevant.

>>18568939
I throw away the old stuff :^) that wonderful Emily the strange t-shirt I bought when I was 14 is gone. I keep the stuff I buy now, which is age appropriate, high quality and fits me well.

I lived very frugally while I was in school, so I didn't spend shit on myself. Then I was too busy (master + working full time) to do anything nice for myself. It's the first moment I have money and time to do stuff.

>>18568962
That is what bothers me. He spends his money on things he likes but I'm glad he does, it makes him happy. I'm not saying that he has to be happy that I spend 40 minutes putting shit on my face at night, but at least don't look at me like I murdered his mother when I get something in the mail?

>>18568995
Take your 5 responses to your original post and leave. 4chan isn't a place for small talk.

>>18568995
>but at least don't look at me like I murdered his mother when I get something in the mail?
Is there a chance he's one of those no makeup types? Like we've all seen a woman who puts way too much shit on and looks more plastic than flesh and some guys seem to bounce to the opposite extreme and think any makeup is wrong.

>>18569010
Yeah, we just talk important matters and post memes here.

>>18569013
He never said so, but anyway I don't wear any. My skin is pretty nice right now, so other than mascara I don't do much.

>>18568949
Politely decline.

A girl invited me to hang out the other day, it's just as friends and I shouldn't read to far into it right?

>>18569080
>provides no actual info
>in fact, awaits the others to tell him he's dreams are coming true

sure, buddy, she's hungry for your cock!!!!!!!111!!

>>18569088

I just woke up fuck off with your stupid implications. Go work yourself up over nothing somewhere else faggot.

>rejected girl
>but I told her that I still want to be friends and gave her the possibility it might work out if she moves closer to me (and I genuinely mean it)
>said she would be fine tomorrow (today) , but drank a lot last night and compared me to her first boyfriend that pretty much she gave everything to and he just used her for sex
>she's just upset but I try to explain to her I'm not that, especially since I'm being honest with her, that I haven't abandoned her, among other things

What should I do? I haven't spoken to her today, she's still asleep. She was really into me but I wasn't for her because she lived too far away and a couple of other things that would make it difficult. I still want to be friends with her and talk to her, but is that out of the question now?

>>18568995
>I throw away the old stuff
Sure, but I mean he might not think it looks old. Some guys rarely throw stuff out until it's entirely wrecked.
>but at least don't look at me like I murdered his mother when I get something in the mail?
Stop ordering severed parts of her body then ;^)

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my mother in law has huge tits

apparently this happened to her. How likely is it that it'll happen to my wife too?

Girls

There's this girl on my twitter who had class with me senior year of high school and we chatted pretty frequently. She seems to be going through a rough, lonely period. I went through one of those and lashed out heavily so I can really empathize with her.

Is there anyway I can help her? Or would just messaging her make things weird and worse? I asked her out once years ago, but now I have zero romantic intentions, she lives far away and I wrote off long distance relationships years ago. I genuinely just want to offer support if she needs it.

Should I be holding off on trying to get with girls when I don't have my license, I'm 23 and find driving makes me feel really nervous thus making me hold off on trying to get my license, girls what are your thoughts on guys like me?

>>18569287
>>18569287
it's possible but don't get hopeful. All the women in my family have at least a C cup. I am an A cup, had one pregnancy, after I lost the weight, I lost the pregnancy boobs too.

how deadly is a 2 week 'break' while dating is my main question.
been one a date once soon twice with a girl i like. I have a vacation of 2 weeks soon. I'm worrying she will lose interest in me since she has a 'freshers week' after my vacation as well.


We have not discussed our intentions of dating each other. I consider her potential relationship material.

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Okay I haven't asked this girl out officially, we have been on 2 dates, I was a bit confused after our first date and said I like her, she said she likes me too.

She just messaged me saying when are we meeting up next, I said I dunno, and she started telling me about buffets in London.

>Fast forward to pic related

I came up with a suggestion of a cruise + dinner on river thames but she said it's a bit romantic for friends.

Should I just finish it off, I'm starting to feel like I've been friendzoned or is this her hinting that I should ask before suggesting that?

What do?

>>18569302

Depends, I live in London and you can use public transport to get anywhere and it's usually easier to get to places than take a car unless you want to sit in traffic all day.

If a car is required for your city then yes wait it out

Girls, do you striptease for your penis?

>>18569341
> been on 2 dates
> did not ask her out
how are they dates then? did anything happen at those dates

>>18569357

Just went for dinner and cinema on the first time and 2nd time we went dinner and another place for afters and had a great time, lots of laughing, 2nd date she paid for her Uber and my Uber home (no sex yet) now she wants to meet up again for dinner?

I thought they were dates, what is it then?

>>18569361
i'm just confused you went on dates yet you never asked her out? did she ask you?

So I had the weirdest date yesterday. We matched on Tinder late Thursday night and we hit it off really well (she loved my jokes). So I invited her out to a date basically that same day and she agreed. So we went on our date and had a great time and honestly this is where I thought it was going to end. However she asked if I wanted to do anything else Agreed and we went to a few other places and each time she kept asking so what else you want to do. Well I eventually ended up over her house and met her entire family (they were super cool btw), played cards with the family and then we went upstairs. Eventually started making out and she let me touch her breast and all. She said she was super nervous because she hadn't kissed anyone in like a year. However after two makeout sessions she said she didn't want to continue because she was worried about catching feels so soon and how she never kisses on the first date and even worse that that was the first time she brought a guy home who she barely knew. So we spent the remainder of the time talking.

So all in all it was a 9 hour date. Keep in mind her parents and sister were right downstairs and her dad told her to keep the door cracked lol.

Is this a good sign or no? Need avice

>>18569364

Oh no, I asked her out on a date first, and said lets go for a drink.

But I mean I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend, and is that what I'm meant to do before taking her on a 'romantic' cruise as she put it. Or by her saying it's too romantic for friends she only sees me as a friend and she's asking me to go out again as a friend?

On our 2nd date we did hold hands briefly too.

>>18569346
I'm from Melbourne

>>18568677
Sort of but not really. I cut my ex out so I don't know what's shes up to

>>18569371
oh like that i don't know man every girl is different but in my opinion if you went on two dates and you have not even kissed or shown any sign of romantic affection i'd say her mentioning 'friends' is a sign she sees you as just a friend. I'd suggest ask her out again and see what happens

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

i know

but i need your help guys and girls, i want to know if im in the friendzone.
i have this friend that hasnt had a boyfriend or smoked weed in her whole life, she knows i do smoke weed. She just finished college so she threw a party and invited me, i told her i might not go because i dont know the people that are going then she asked me if i was willing to go if my friends went to the party too.

The day of the party came and i went with a friend and as soon as arrived she started to talk to me and told me that some people were smoking weed and i wouldve smoked with them if i arrived earlier, then she grabbed me and took me to the bar so to speak and gave me a beer, she was already ditzy and she was touchy feely, i told her i had a tattoo in my chest and she told me to take off my shirt i told her fuck no and then she started pulling my shirts neck to see it. I told her to go easy on the drinking and she told me she was fine. We started to talk to other people and she got drunk as fuck, then out of nowhere she asked me to give her some weed and i told her no because she was already drunk. Later she started feeling sad because she made out with a guy that was in the party last year and nothing came out of that she had confessed to me before that she actually had feelings for the guy and i could hear her friends telling her to not worry that the right guy was going to come eventually, and then she sat on the couch with other people taking care of her because as i said she was completely shitfaced.

I sat on the couch later and she put her head in my shoulder and leaning her body against me and then i started taking care of her too until 3:00 a.m. when i got bored of the situation and told her i had to get out, so i said goodbye to my friends, and then her and i left. One week has passed and we havent talked again

(1)

(2)
i know shes not into me or at least i think so, because she is clearly not over that other guy but i want to know if she sees me as a girlfriend

>>18569377

We kissed but literally kind of like a 1-2 second kiss on the lips.

While we was walking she grabbed my hand to hold it. While we were in the restaurant and there was no one there she did lay down next to me/leaning on me

There's little signs but I'm a beta just confused. I've already spent £80/$100 on 2 dates, I ain't made of money, nor do I want to waste it on a 'friend' which isn't what I was looking for.

>>18568771
The car didn't chose those 10 guys

>>18569392
why are you spending so much man. And her trying to hold hands and not afraid of being touched is a sign you could try more

>>18569400

I don't know, I like her, and well she picks the restaurants, I don't know many places except McDonalds and subway and shit so she picks the restaurant. I don't mind spending the money if there is something there. I guess I'll go on one more date and see if there any actual signs otherwise I will give up.

>>18569401
i never dated by having dinner at a restaurant just get some drinks and eat and chill at your/her house is what i do

>>18569401
Thats a lot of money if you arent made of money to take a girl out. Ive been on 7 dates with a girl and Ive spent less than $100 not including gas

>>18569328
bumping my questiom

>>18569341
Instead of saying "hmm true" you could say "That's what I was aiming for" or something.
No way to tell from the message if she was against it or just fishing for information on what YOU wanted.
Go for it. If she isn't interested, she still won't be. If she was just unsure of your intentions, it could help. You don't really lose anything.

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tl; dr: I keep getting entangled with "former" lesbians, what could I be doing and is this something even caring about.
Over the past three years, I've had minor things with a couple of girls, but I've the only three significant things happen with women who have confessed to being lesbian. I'm thirty now, don't know what other information would be useful before blogposting.

M here. Ive got a female coworker in really into. We laugh together and spend all the time at work together since we're on the same team. How do I start something with her? I'm afraid of being direct and ruining the friendship we have. But I really like her. She opens up to me but not sure if she feels the same

To girls: I have a scar on the bridge of my nose, it looks sort of like a dueling scar. It's not super disfiguring, but it's noticeable. Does this repulse you? I don't really give off the "bad boy" image at all, outside of my scar. I'm pretty clean cut and very well-educated.

So I've been on something of a self improvement kick these last months, and as part of it i have been making an effort to go out to meetups and be more active on okcupid.
But i'm still not really in a good place life wise. I am going back to school but for a job but it'll be a while and I don't have my own place.
I feel like its waste of other people time to be dating. but at the same time I've used not being ready as an excuse for years now.. and I do have tons of free time which makes going out easy that I won't have if i find a job.
Another part of me says Its just a date and I don't owe the other people anything.
But I can't shake the insecurity.
Anyone have similar experience or advice to share about what i should or shouldn't do?
I'm a guy.

>>18569341
>I came up with a suggestion of a cruise + dinner on river thames but she said it's a bit romantic for friends.
Ask if it's appropriate for friends with benefits.

>>18569552

Okay thanks, well I'll go on this date tomorrow with her and see what comes of it I guess.

In group chat:
>friend asks: does life matter if we're all gonna die?
>I say: maybe not
>same friend asks: am I good looking?
>I say: if you go to the gym
>note, friend is NOT fat or even chubby, just 6'5" skinnyfat and untrained. He has like 4/10 face, I've been trying to convince him to work out with me
>other friend tells me to stfu and that he looks great
>I tell him I'm just encouraging him to be the best he can be because he's my friend
>then post that pic of "Chef lost 21 stone after friend texted him ‘fat f***’ every day for six weeks"

>go to sleep

>wake up
>bombarded by messages calling me an asshole in group chat
>another friend messages me a long message saying that my first friend got rejected by a girl and was drinking, and that I am a gigantic asshole
>other guy calling me an asshole
>say I was just trying to encourage him, that I never said he was ugly or anything, and that I didn't know he was drinking and got rejected
>first guy calls me an asshole too, saying I should have known

I feel a little bad that I told him to go to the gym when he was feeling down, but there was no way I could have known for sure he was feeling that way. And I wouldn't lie to a friend if they asked me that question. Now I'm arguing with them in the chat because they were so aggressively calling me an asshole and sending me messages privately.

I don't really want to keep these people as friends, but I'm going to be roommates for the next year with the first guy (I might still be able to get that changed though). It would be easy for me to cut them off otherwise, but I have no other friends but these guys. I'm in college, and I'm very antisocial - haven't made a friend in a long long time.

>>18569566

Take her out for lunch. If you already done that, one day ask her what she's doing after work, ask her if she wants to go for a drink.

See how it goes, don't be too pushy, test the water, by you asking her out for a drink she will know what you really mean by doing that. So don't worry about her not knowing that you like her.

Have a good time, and at the end ask her let's do this again and make a day of it, if she agrees. She might even move in for a kiss, who knows.

>>18569590
Picture?

>>18569594

Oh nah, I ain't looking to only bang, I really like her and want a relationship, if thats not happening then goodbye really. Don't want a girl I like in my life that only wants to be my friend.

>>18569607
You can apologize for hurting your friend's feelings without saying "I was wrong". Just say you're sorry for hurting his feelings and say that you never would've joked about it if you'd known he was in a rough place about it

>>18569616
I did say that I wouldn't have said what I said if I knew he was feeling down, but that I'm not psychic so I can't know that. And that it's uncalled for to be calling me names. They're still insulting me though

>>18569617
Any time you add "but" to an apology, you remove its genuineness because you're more concerned with defending yourself--or at least that's how people can perceive that behavior. It's like the people who say "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but I can't change the past." You don't need the but part. Just leave it at sorry.

>>18569607
>friend asks: does life matter if we're all gonna die?
>how could I have possibly known he was feeling down??? there's no way!
are you srs

>>18568995
Are you trying to fix acne? My girlfriend keeps buying shit to fix hers but it's not help and she has a stockpile of stuff. Maybe he's annoyed because of that. Btw my gf's acne is prob cure able by sleeping more then 4 hours and drinking water and eating normally

>>18569091
Send a dick pic and say come and get it

>>18568949
Just because he can without expecting anything in return? Would be real helpful.

>>18569291
Message her and ask whats up and what she's feeling rn. Easy as that

>>18569566
One thing is make sure you both are definitely into each other and the relationship will last a long time. Having to work with your ex can be really bad in too many situations.

Source: my coworkers

>>18569302
Uber it m8
>>18569341
Say fuck it and go for it.

girls, twinks yay or nay?
im 23 and a 5-6/10 but i have soft features and skinny and tall, i like the way i look but no one is attracted to me at the moment as far as i know

I need to do a poo, what should I do?

>>18569652
Post it on /b/

>>18568227
There has to be some link between stupidity and frog posting.

>>18568788
If you cant even lie for my own sake and deny ALL ons and admit some very low number like 3, then i will feel bad about your body count. Nobody wants slut.

>>18568805
You will be the same person as before. With only one difference: knowing what to work on to not sperg out.

>>18569089
But that anon was right you know.

>>18569091
You either want to fuck/date/marry her and then you are idiot for shutting her down. Or you dont want any of these things and then simply ignore her. Why do you even bother? You want backup gf?

>>18569302
No. If you want to pursue girls then simply do it. Easy.

>>18569328
Stop overthinking nonsence. If she doesnt find better boy than you in this period of time, she will resume where you ended.

>>18569366
>girl likes me so much we spent 9 hours together
>she even make out with me and probably wanted to rape me
>is it good?
Yes idiot, she is into you. Ask her on another date and bring condoms.

>>18569381
Same as anon above you. She wants your D mininum, probably more. Ask her on date and dont bring condoms. She probably wants your baby too.
>>18569387
It doesnt matter what she wants. Do YOU want her? Ask her on date.

>>18569562
Change your hunting grounds. Social events you never been to before, online dating and target girls you never did before.

>>18569591
You either want to date or dont. Make up your mind. And yes, even hobos can date.

>>18569650
Look at how justin bieber looks like. And then see the number of his girl fans. Should be self explanatory.

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>>18569662

Fine fine, if I need to give more details I was just playin vidya, and got a text that she was in the area and wanted to hang out, so we went to a restaurant, which was nice, she's really funny and chill as fuck, afterward we met up with some other friends and spent the rest of the day with them, so I don't think that part matters.

>>18569670
Girls dont ask boys on dates if they dont like them enough. Grow some balls and this time ask her on date yourself.

>>18569607
You're kind of socially an idiot. First what this guy said >>18569632
Second, when someone says "Am I good looking?" and your answer is anything other than YES, then people hear, "No, you are not good looking, in fact you are ugly."
People don't ASK if they're good looking when they aren't in an insecure place.
Plus, by posting that picture, you are implying that you should call him a fat fuck every day. That is not encouraging. You think that that is funny, and that the chef ended up successful because he lost the weight. But that friend likely made him feel like utter shit, and as if he HAD to lose the weight in order to be worthwhile as a human being. If you want to keep your friend, you don't want to convince him that he HAS to lose weight in order to be worthwhile as a human being.

Also this >>18569628
By defending yourself, you essentially made your apology worthless. You do not get forgiveness this way. They're hearing, "I'll apologize because I feel obligated to, but I think this is ridiculous and I did nothing wrong and you're all awful." I don't care if that's how you actually feel, because that is not how apologies work. If you want to actually be on good terms with these people, you need to lay yourself down, say that what you did was awful. Say that he's still good looking even if he doesn't work out. I don't care if this is a lie, just say it. You're going to need to suck up your pride about being "brutally honest" if you want them to like you.

>>18569699

Nigga, this shit came outta nowhere I wasn't expecting it. She has a bf anyway.

>went out to lunch with a girl
>she talked 90% of the time
>before I made any escalations a timer on my phone went off reminding me that I had to leave to pick up a friend from a train station
>as we leave, give her a quick one-armed hug (hips touched at least, wasn't a terrible hug but my other arm was full of leftovers)
Where do I go from here? Never gone out with a girl before desu, and to make things more tricky this girl is a KV (I am too, but didn't expect to actually find a girl my age (20) who was as well, so now I feel like making a move too quickly would scare her off). Kinda want to see her again, and while we were eating she mentioned that "we should go to x restaurant next, their scrambles are way better", but I usually hear that girls don't like choosing where to eat.

And also, I have a gut feeling that if we met for food again the exact same thing would happen. I kind of would like to escalate to do things besides meeting for lunch but I don't know when I can begin to invite her to other stuff. Something she said she enjoys is night drives, and I too love them and would like to take her out in my convertible, but I feel like it's a bit soon to ask her if she's cool with me taking her out in the dead of night.

>>18569705
The guy is not close to fat or chubby, just untrained. I feel like I'm being crucified for being cheeky because he was feeling sad for being rejected by a girl (and if he wasn't rejected no one would have made a big deal. But I was obviously not informed of this rejection).

I can say that I wouldn't have said it if I knew he was sad, but there's no reason to insult me for a misunderstanding. I don't apologize to people that insult me. Your post made me realize I don't really want their forgiveness or friendship if I have to coddle these people like they're chicks.They're grown, college-aged men.

>>18569662
thats the thing i dont know if shes actually into me because those signs kinda tell me that she is atually into me at least a little but the fact that she was openly sad about the other guy and her tells me that she isnt actually into me and just using me as a guy to string along, besides im not actually sure im actually attracted to her, i would fuck her of course but im not sure if im into her that way

>>18569741
>I don't apologize to people that insult me. Your post made me realize I don't really want their forgiveness or friendship if I have to coddle these people like they're chicks.They're grown, college-aged men.

This is the game of socialization. You can play into it and enjoy being able to split your rent, or you can give them the finger and go back to being isolated. They aren't missing out by losing someone as inconsiderate as you.

>>18569766
Well, if I apologize and I still get called an asshole it doesn't really make me want to beg for forgiveness. I'm not a lapdog. It's just as inconsiderate for them to completely disregard the fact that I had no knowledge of my friend's situation and lambast me.

why would a girl say to a guy shes been keeping in friend zone forever "maybe we will end up togther after all my mistakes" after i found she booked a room for her and her new bf

>>18569366
Yes it means she's head over heels for you. Keep going steady. More dates, bring her over sometime in the next 4 days and fuck her

I guess this is directed towards women but basically anyone who's into guys, how well kept do you expect their balls and stuff to be? Do you expect them to shave like the upper parts of their legs too if that area is hairy? Do you expect them to shave their butt too?

>>18569814
>shave upper parts of their legs
>shave their butt
idk about other girls but i like my guys hairy. don't shave your pubes, just trim them before they get too long. i don't like getting a mouthful of long pubes when i suck balls

>>18569814
I don't expect them to shave anything, just to trim a bit if the hair is too long

>>18569821
>>18569822
I like to get my balls sucked and when I was with girls I used to trim around by dick but then shave the balls completely, because I assumed it'd be better for her. Is it ok to just trim it down a bit, isn't it annoying to feel some short pointy hairs in there?

>>18569733
Either suggest "hey let's go to that restaurant you wanted and then go to some place like Dave and busters, some movie, festival, music concert or something.

>>18569814
I just trim but very often because my body hair grows fast and is kinda thick because of latino genes

>>18569835
I've never put the balls inside my mouth, I dunno
I'm a bit scared of doing it and hurting him

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>"Would you like to sit next to me? There's an empty seat here" some business guy (assuming from the fancy suit/suitcase) in his late 20s asks me--I'm a 23 year old girl for reference and he asks no one else so it's sort of weird
>'I'd simply be a bother' I think, so I say "no, I'm good" while standing up with a couple of other girls
>find a seat a few minutes later (there's actually a shit ton of open seats so the guy had no reason to ask me to sit with him besides formality)
>look up from my seat (a comfy one at an otherwise empty table) I later found and see him staring at me some meters away with the saddest fucking face I've ever seen on a man, it was both comical and haunting. He then left the train

Why did he seem so offended? Did I accidentally hurt his feelings or something?

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>>18568677
Judge me all you like but absolutely. I know I'm not alone on this either.

>>18569287
MOMMY WANT MILKY

Girls: Men with a broad range of control over their dick muscles. y/n/what the fuck

>>18569859
>"when you kiss her you kiss my dick"
>forgot to say no homo
i've got bad news for you buddy

>>18569590
I don't care, a scar is a scar. I have lots of them all over my body because I'm clumsy as fuck. The only thing I would think about it is "I'm curious about the story behind it. It might be interesting."

Greetings /adv/isors. Do you live in the state of California? Do you ever find you need some more hands on advice than what you receive in the standard tfw no gf thread? Come and join our California Discord server and chat with fellow anons about your worries and issues. We are friendly! Also feel free to just hang out and post the occasional meme. GT8sJZ9

>>18569590
No, I don't mind scars at all. Can't see why it would repulse anyone.

>>18569650
IN A HEARTBEAT

fuck, where do you live ? I just turned 18 literally 3 days ago, do you mind it ?

Femanons, do you notice when a guy has started taking more care of his appearance?

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What do girls expect from a 18-19 y.o. guy?

>>18569920
>t. a guy

A lot of girls have described me as "cool, calm, collected, stoic" things like that. But what does it mean, really?

>>18569950
You're cool, calm, collected, and stoic? I mean if you're really trying to overanalyze and read between the lines, they might be implying that you don't let loose very often or you aren't super expressive or you might take yourself too seriously. But it's not good to assume the worst.

>>18569950
>>18569937
>>18569939


retarded questions

>>18569950
If we're thinking negatively you either don't talk much or dont show a lot of emotion

>>18569953

Eat a dick

>>18569952
>>18569954

I have a bad habit of overthinking on the negative end. I do talk a lot though, always joking around. It might be the emotion thing, none of my friends have ever really seen me angry because there's never really been anything worth getting truly mad about.

>>18569953
wow, a true intellectual on 4chan has come to enlighten, us, the retarded.

Share your infinite knowledge with us, asshole.

Also kys.

>>18569937
im not a girl but holy shit dude really?

>>18569850
Sounds like he wants to meet people and doesn't know how to go about it. Sad but creepy if there were other seats available. I wouldn't worry much unless you see him regularly or something.

>>18569887
No it's like I see some dude with a girl I already slept with and it's like "I got there first". That's really all there is to it.

>>18569969
why does it mean so much to you that you fucked her before that guy did? some guy probably fucked her before you, and by your logic that means when you kissed her you were really just stuffing your mouth full of other men's dicks.

>>18569961
>none of my friends have ever really seen me angry because there's never really been anything worth getting truly mad about
Everyone gets angry about stuff but in your case I wouldn't think much about it, it doesn't sound like a negative view.

>swear up and down I don't have a crush on this girl
>get super defensive/protective when people talk shit about her

Being pathetic is suffering

>>18569976
I'm not worried about who got there before me, usually I either don't know about it or I was the genuine first. It's also not about picturing all the dicks in her mouth, but just literally saying that you beat him to it. It's semi-autistic but again I know I'm not alone on this.

>>18569980
Girl here. Same. except I do this with friends. There is this girl I'm best friends with. When she talks to somebody else, I don't know, I get autistically upset and jealous. Like "Fuck off, she is mine.". I'm not gay. What does that mean ?

>>18569976
just curious is this a girl or a guy asking this? cause if its a guy then LMAO

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>>18569976
>>18568677

>>18569791
You're the safe guy she can fall back on when some other dude pumps and dumps. Get the fuck out of there anon have some respect for yourself

>>18570001
This is a ridiculous argument. You wouldn't put your finger in poop yet many men want to have anal sex or even tongue a girl's asshole. You wouldn't eat food that touched vomit but you'll stick your tongue deep inside a girl's mouth she blew chunks from on countless occasions.

People aren't the same as objects no matter how often the comparison is made.

>>18570006
see >>18569993

>>18570001
>>>/lit/

>>18570007
I'm not the person who asked the question. All these rationalizations just boil down to cooties anyway.

I'm a woman and believe it or not, most women do not particularly enjoy dwelling on the idea that their man has been inside other (slutty? unhygienic? tigher?) women beforehand. We just get the fuck over it.

>>18569965
Thanks for the dose of perspective. I'm glad I didn't sit with him--he seems incredibly awkward and my past experiences with awkward and/or creepy guys were...traumatizing to say the least.

>>18570016
serious question: are you autistic? because there's nothing "logical" about this sort of thing, it's just some guys are more territorial, there's no "logic" involved to that, no rationalizations.

you "get the fuck over it" because you're a woman, it's different for guys.

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Girls

Why do you run so funny?

>>18570020
I do understand that, but pictures like the one I was responding to imply that it's a logical thing. There's a difference between saying you feel uncomfortable with a woman not being "broken into" by you, point blank - and acting like there's solid reasoning for it and coming with all kinds of comparisons that do not compare.

Why is it different? Women also compete with each other. Women are also grossed out by the idea of discharge of another woman having been on his dick. Women are also scared to not be their lover's best.

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>>18569710
Since when having "bf" stopped anybody from cheating?

>>18570027
>Why is it different?
why and how are boys and girls different...

it honestly sounds to me like you're just mad at guys being the way they are after becoming a loose slut and not getting any attention from them anymore or something.

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>>18570028

I suppose you aren't wrong, she's a little wild too. People say she comes off as "easy" which actually triggers the shit outta me for some reason.

I hope I don't give that off.

>>18570031
If it's so obvious then it shouldn't be hard to put it down in words.

I am a virgin if you do not count oral sex, otherwise I've had one partner. Just frustrated to see the same tired old sex toy or food comparisons. But nice ad hominem.

>>18569939
cmon, anyone?

>>18570042
Sorry man, I'm twenty four so I'm not that in touch anymore with what a girl six that much younger is expecting other than the core basics (being respectful and fun is ideal, but if you can only have one of the two being fun is more important).

>>18570047
>being respectful and fun is ideal
I usually make witty remarks (the best way I can think of to describe it), which makes ppl laugh in general.

I have lots of hobbies and in general, ppl around me seem to be influenced by me, since I know lots of stuff and some guy we're friends with who gets a shitton of girls looks up to me.

still haven't been in a date for over a year. my looks are above-averange.

>>18570071
Please don't take offense if some of the following does not apply to you, I don't know you personally so I'm going to give you the advice that in my experience most often applies.

Guys tend to overestimate how much girls experience the dating game the way they do. A guy sees a girl he finds cute, friendly, or (in desperate cases) just pays him attention, so he grows a liking for her. Girls are not just expected/conditioned to take a more passive attitude, they are also expected to be picky about who they sleep with and date. This means that for a girl, the easiest way of living is to just disregard men romantically unless you simply cannot disregard someone anymore because they're either incredibly attractive, or you are starting to develop feelings. Even if a girl is actively desiring a relationship, she's learned to have a default attitude of dismissal and kind of play the gatekeeper of any romantic or sexual interaction. This applies all the more depending on how young she is - as women age they tend to realize (some much later than others) that they have to take a more active stance if they want to get theirs in terms of romance. But you are quite young and probably mostly dealing with peers and girls who are younger still, which means that you cannot rely on just your looks and your overall attitude to make a big impression on a girl - you have to actively point her attention towards you being a potential partner for her. You already have a huge benefit from having girls looking up to you. A guy being able to do virtually anything quite well is very sexy.

The next step is to flirt. Flirting is hugely underrated because it is a very safe, covert way to indicate that you are attracted to a girl. People like being around people who like them, so that in itself makes you more interesting. But flirting also allows you to sort of give her a teaser for the kind of chemistry you could have.

Post too long..

>>18570099
If you look at a romantic relationship, it isn't just sweetness and light. Sex is about tenderness, affection and romance, but also about power, lust and sometimes outright shame/humiliation or pain. If you want to seduce a girl you don't just want to show her that you're a kind, reliable, respectful guy. You want to show her that on top of those things, you're someone who can get her riled up, can make her feel strong emotions, can get her juices flowing. Flirting is great for this because it can look like taunting/teasing, it can look like bickering. "I HATE you" is a common way for a girl to respond to a guy getting her flustered. In reality what you are doing is not showing her that you think little of her but showing her that you aren't afraid of her, she isn't some pristine Madonna to you, you can take her on and challenge her and fuck with her a bit. This will make it much more easy for her to envision you throwing her around in the bedroom than simply being polite and friendly will - those two alone are also almost formal, almost impersonal. You want passion.

Seducing someone means wetting their appetite, presenting things (in this case yourself) in such a way that they see the appeal in it. It's not seeing if a girl is ready to hook up, like checking if the water's boiling already. It is making it happen by flaunting what's attractive about you and by singling her out and going out of your way to hint at a connection between the two of you. That's why inside jokes, nicknames, or joking about being "like an old married couple" and the likes are so common between people who like each other. You are playing around with the idea of being together.

Of course you can ignore all this and straight up ask a girl out. But the downside is that she can only judge what is instantly evident about you. And at the end of the day, most girls will go for the guy who makes them feel things over the guy who looks good.

>>18569791
The real question is why you stay in the friend zone forever.

>>18570116
When you get into a relationship with someone you don't just sign up for that person (as an isolated element), you sign up for the specific dynamic that exists between the two of you. So forging a playfulness, forging sexual tension, forging a sense of adventure is a huge part of initially impressing a girl. You are not just selling yourself (so and so old, such and such looks and hobbies), you are selling how she feels around you.

It is complicated to explain what flirting is like if you have no clue. However you learn quickly as you practice, and in time you will develop an intuition for when something is or isn't flirting, when you have to tone it down or when you can amp it up etc. People are made for social interaction. It's like how no one has to explain to you what is or isn't a joke (in 98% of cases). You just know and that knowing is (provided you are not legitimately autistic or something) a skill you can acquire through experience and practice like all else. I'll dump an old guide I wrote down some time ago trying to explain what flirting is in a more detailed way, see if you find it useful. You can just scan the first part as I've reiterated much of this already.


"The first step is realizing what flirting really is. Flirting is essentially playing for adults. You are not necessarily signaling that you want to fuck someone. You are more covertly pointing someone's attention to sexuality, to the sexual potential that exists between the two of you (like it does between all people), or even just the possibility of finding each other attractive. It's just a cheeky little nudge. This is generally speaking, of course. Flirting can be used to downright seduce someone or even for business arrangements. But generally speaking.

>>18570140

The way you do this is by implicitly showing that you have either interest in this person, or just interest in sex/women itself, without showing your hand and spelling out that you want to date/fuck her. That's boring. People like to chase, they like to wonder and fantasize. If you make it clear right away that you are into someone, you appear on their radar as a ready suitor, and people just do not find that as exciting/sexy as having a build up where you're still a free man who might like them and might not like them. Sexiness has quite some to do with emotional risk, which is why sex tends to stall as a relationship grows safer and more comfortable in other aspects.

So what you are doing by flirting [assuming for a moment you are flirting because you like her and want to date her] is allowing her to contemplate you as a potential boyfriend, a potential lover, before being an available option to her yet.
People tend to think really simplistically about falling in love, they think that person A chases person B and then something might happen. In real life it's a dance. People like people who show interest in them and are friendly to them. And are nicer to people who interest them and they find attractive. So it's like a cycle where being attracted to someone makes them more attracted to you - because you treat them better, you smile more, you pay attention to what they say, you pay closer attention to how you present yourself. Plus mere exposure effect (people are more likely to fall for someone they see a lot, like a neighbor or colleague). So most often person A does something tiny (smile at B). B notices and appreciates this so next time B will ask A if they also want coffee if they're getting anyway. Person A thinks, how nice, looks at B's ass while getting coffee, and so on.

>>18570144
Flirting is another way to sort of push this whole process forward. By flirting with someone well you can put yourself on the map even if your looks alone (or other stuff about yourself) didn't instantly garner their attention.

Next part is, okay, this is what flirting does, but what does it look like. Well, it comes in many different forms.
This is because people have their personal style that they are still bold enough to do, or that turns them on the most, or that otherwise comes most natural to them.

The most common, universal way of flirting is not hiding your natural signs of attraction.

Most people feel vulnerable and a bit embarrassed to like someone they harbor feelings for someone. They feel stupid or like this person is out of their league. So what they do is they make sure to not look at them too much, to break off eye contact before it gets "weird", to -really- watch themselves when it comes to checking out her body.
Most normal flirting is to not do that. Let her see that you look down at her mouth from time to time while she talks. That you look into her eyes more and longer, that you stand just a little closer. Touch her in little ways (safe options are tapping her shoulder/arm before asking something, or nudging her to something interesting going on - make sure to touch her fast and lightly). Don't hide that just looking at her face makes you smile a little.

If you can tell she's into it - bit flushed, big pupils, leaning forward, touching you back - you can amp it up. She complains about her clothes or body? Do a quick but deliberate up and down and tell her "looks great". (Or "you look great" depending on just how enthusiastic she is.) Look at her ass when she's walking away. If she turns around don't act like you were watching something else, throw up your hands or give a "you caught me" kind of grin.

>>18570148
This is essentially "vanilla flirting". Another example of this is simply being extra nice - doing her tiny little favors, remembering the little stuff.
There are many other ways. Will try to get into them in a bit but before that, let me get to your question about discomfort.

The idea with these things is that you see if she wants to interact with you like this. You try something small and elaborate on that if it works and you can tell she's interested in flirting back. If not, you back off. It's not like you go from 0 to 100 out of nowhere. There's ample time to realize that the chemistry isn't there. People are awkward and try to avoid explicit rejections at all costs. Her real, initial rejection will be painless.

That will take the form of a lack of smiling, acting like she doesn't get the joke or provocation, not looking you in the face. Only if you turn a blind eye towards her non-verbal signs that she's not interested in this shit, will you get called out and have an uncomfortable situation.
There's always lunatics but again, by far most sane people would themselves feel embarrassed to call you out and would much rather not even let it get to that stage to begin with. So they hope you take their cue first.

Other ways of flirting. The only thing they all have in common is that you are essentially singling a person out and not hiding that you are singling them out. Whether you are singling them out by complimenting them or by playfully insulting them doesn't matter much. This is a matter of what you feel most comfortable with and what works best in your own experience.

girls, how would you feel about going to Disneyworld as a first date?

>>18570157
Let's look at "insulting" flirting. This might seem confusing at surface level, but I like to compare it to banter among guys. What you have to pay attention to is not that at surface level the guy is calling his friend a pussy (or whatever). What matters is the underlying implication: they are good enough friends that he does not have to treat his friend "politely" all the time. That they both know that at the end of the day, they like each other a lot.
Being vulgar and/or "mean" is like an extreme form of being informal, in this case. If you are standing with two co-workers, and one says that qt is going to do x job, you saying "Qt?? With no supervisor??" with exaggerated shock does not tell her that you think she's incompetent. It tells her that you like to rag on her and that you trust she'll know your intentions. That you are inviting her to fuck with you (not even literally, necessarily), inviting her into a more playful dynamic where they don't stick to office etiquette necessarily.

Note how the examples I mention aren't particularly smooth or quoteworthy.

Sure that's partly because I'm making them up on the spot, but also because real life flirting is often kind of cringeworthy or lame/corny to outsiders. It resembles infatuated love babble a lot in that regard.
The thing is: picture a really pretty, cute girl giving you a compliment. Would you be thrown off if that compliment was a bit weird? Fuck no, that would be endearing. In real life the very fact that someone is showing (sexual, romantic) interest is so exciting that it changes the way you look at what's actually said. In a movie where flirting is all cool and witty, the viewer doesn't have those emotions so it needs to be a lot "better" to feel as exciting as normal flirting does in real life.

>>18570042
Assuming the women are the same age, you should be able to drive and have a car. That's the only thing I can say without a doubt every girl expects. Other than that it's subjective to every person.

>>18570161

Either way, back to flirting styles. Try a lot of things. Everyone has things they can do while feeling comfortable and self-respecting, and things that make them feel stupid. Some people can wink unironically, others cringe just imagining it. So start out with stuff that is still within your comfort zone and try to expand that comfort zone. Nothing but practice will make you more sensitive towards the cues that someone else is flirting with you, that they are enjoying it (or getting bored), that you have gone too far or can actually go much further.


Okay thought of two more things I forgot. The easiest way to know whether someone flirts with you or not (if you are not that experienced yet) is looking at whether you are the exception for them, whether they single you out.
A girl giggling and playing with her hair around you could mean she likes you, or maybe it's just what she does. What she does or does not do in absolute terms (assuming it isn't straight up kissing you or inviting you over) matters less than how that compares to how she treats other people. Some people can't flirt at all - if a woman is really sociable and extroverted around everyone, but shy and flustered around you, that's a great sign.

And secondly, just realized that most people think more of sexual jokes/comments when they think of flirting. Those absolutely can be incorporated. If you have a more bold flirting style you can like to drop a sexual comment to a woman - not even necessarily aimed towards her, just, actively putting sex on her mind and making her scramble for a reply. For most people this is way too much to ask/pull off confidently, and explicit sexual references are more something for a further stage when sexual tension has already been established.

>>18570166

Oh and thirdly, you can get away with A LOT as long as you don't act like it's a big deal yourself. One last example: a woman is in your bed after sex, she grins at you, lazily rolls over to kiss you and purrs into your ear "oh by the way I totally lied about being on the pill, I'm going to steal your sperm and everything, how do you feel about that mister?"
Second scenario: she's sitting on the bed giving you a slightly twitchy smile going "h-heh wouldn't it be funny if I lied about being on the pill...? I could steal your sperm..."
First is playing around between lovers, second is CREEPY as fuck. People are not that great at separating how people present themselves from who they actually are (and it often does save time) so if you are nervous you look guilty."

* * * *

Okay, shit ton of scattered info. Again I hope (some of) it is useful. I have to walk my dog right now but I'll be back in 45 minutes tops to answer any questions anyone might have. If no questions I hereby wish you the best.

>>18570144
Let me give you an example from a recent rejection of mine:

>having extracurricular classes bc education in my country sucks ass
>small building, lots of guys/girls in the lobby waiting for their classes
>I usually talk with most of the guys, since most of them are friend/acquaintances of mine
>That girl (let's call her X) is almost always around when I'm there.
>Ask her out around Xmas
>Turns me down bc she's leaving for family holiday, doesn't mention anything about postponing it or something
>2 months ago sends me an b-day message, and it wasn't your typical b-day message, she'd put care into it
>try to spark a conv in hopes of asking her out
>pretty much ghosts me

Notes: She's an introvert, pretty good much for me (in both terms of looks/interests, etc).

What did I fuck up?

Also, I can't meet new girls. I always get the go to a club or something, but I have zero interest in going to such places. In general, not interested in slutty girls, but in a somewhat cute, introverted girl.

>>18570164
I live in yuropoor, trust me, thinks are completely different here.

I'll be studying Electrical Engineering soon, though.

>>18570171
>Let's look at "insulting" flirting
Pretty much what I always use. I didn't get to use it much on the girl that I described earlier though.

>inb4 are you good at it
A girl I was not even interested in, her boyfriend tried to call me on fb, acting all angry and shieet, bc she thought I was flirting with her.

Bored to provide context, funny story nevertheless.

>>18570160
AWWW HELL YEAH, DISNEY LAND !!!

I'd marry you in a second.

>>18570160
That'd be pretty amazing. Honestly, though, it also seems a little much for a first date. I think taking a girl somewhere expensive right off the bat will either intimidate her or give her really high expectations, so just be prepared to match that.

>>18570160
I'd feel like it's excessive and like you're trying to buy my affection, like any other lavish first date. Plus I'm not really someone who's a huge fan of Disney anyway

>>18568038
this applies to both sexes but do you think a relationship between two adults can work if there's a massive age gap?

let's use the typical "fresh out of college" man so just around 22-25-30

& an older woman who's already in her 40's with kids of her own that are around the guys age range

Girls,
I have a thing for a coworker. We used to talk and help each other out with things until one day I acted like an asshole over something unrelated to her. We didn't talk for a couple of weeks after that but then she started greeting me again and things aren't quite the same but at least we say hi to each other instead of awkwardly avoiding each other.

I feel like she knows I'm into her but I don't think she likes me back. She tends to avoid having a full conversation with me, instead just small talk as she passes by though we're both often busy. I feel guilty over being an ass that one time but I have yet to apologize. Because of that I feel a bit nervous when I talk to her so I seem a bit disinterested and in turn she keeps things a bit more professional than how we used to talk to each other.

So, is all hope lost?
I don't want to point fingers but this isn't the first time there's been some sort of conflict between us, it's just the first time it's happened since we became friendly with each other. When I first met her she was often rude to me specifically, most likely due to my bad history with a male acquaintance of hers, though that's honestly another story.

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Yesterday I got drunk with my best friend and kissed her. She started dancing and I was sitting on the couch staring at her. Suddenly she gets near me and starts reaching for my dick, started running her face close to mine and naturally I kissed her. She freaked out and went into the bathroom. She comes back out and mentions she cant love me because she's in love with someone who doesn't love her and that she's unable to love anyone else. I flip my shit because she keeps changing the story as to why she wont date me every few months. After we fought for like 45m she says she made the whole thing up and said I should just forget what happened. We talked today and she seemed angry at me for kissing her. I told her it was an impulse from what she did and she understood that but she says she doesn't want me to get the wrong idea. We agreed to move on but I haven't given the whole thing closure. What does she want. She kept talking about fucking while she was sober and kept poking my dick with her ass while we were reading a book standing. What am I supposed to do with mixed signals

>>18570253
>with kids of her own that are around the guys age range
I don't think that's gonna work out, man. Even if she wants it I doubt the kids will accept it and they'll nag her about it. It's too much trouble, even with the small chance that she'd be interested.

>>18570253
>22-25-30
Which is it? Is the woman in her 40s with kids who are around 30?

>>18570275
>starts reaching for my dick
>says she doesn't want me to get the wrong idea
I know it was in the heat of the moment but you shouldn't have kissed her, you should've just let her continue with your dick to see where she would've tooken it.
Just forget about her, man. She's playing with you and that shit ain't worth your time. Find someone else and if she comes back around, finally deciding on what she wants, tell her to fuck off with that other guy.

>>18570267
What's your questions
>is all hope lost?
Hope for what? Hope to date? Hope that you'll be friendly with one another? Hope that she'll forgive you?

What assholey thing did you do? It might be worth it to apologize. Particularly because your social dynamic changed, it's not like she's forgotten. It'll make a good impression that you can own up to your mistakes. Tell her about how you took out your frustrations about the unrelated thing on her, and how that wasn't okay. You really regret it.

>>18570182
You didn't fuck up. It sounds like she just backtracked for whatever reason. Maybe she felt guilty about turning you down and wanted to compensate, but got anxious when you seemed to (rightfully so) take that as an encouraging sign. Perhaps she was intrigued by the potential but when you actually reached out realized she doesn't like you enough after all.

In theory it's possible that her social skills are just this poor, but not likely. And the bottom line is that you shouldn't seriously invest in girls who don't reciprocate. And with reciprocate I don't mean doing exactly the same things back, or just as serious/just as sexual. Just acknowledging your reaching out to her and giving you some positive attention in turn, whether flirty or plain old interest and friendliness. Life is too short to keep throwing energy at people who give nothing back.

Meet introverted girls online, through introverted friends, hobby related things (reading circles, cooking course, classic dance lessons, open to all board game nights, free lectures) or volunteering (pick something with an info night so you can gauge whether there's women there, choose something related to animals or kids preferably).

>>18569920
i live in south america anon, if its any consolation i kinda look like sean malto but my skin is a semitone darker

>>18570326
Just saw your message again and saw that you said "what did I fuck up" instead of "did I fuck up". Unfortunate as it is, one of the lessons to learn quickly is that you don't have 100% control over any outcome that involves another independent human being. Any PUA or whatever kind of thing that promises you you can bed any girl with it, is just blowing smoke up your ass to get your interest and/or money. It is worthwhile to look at overall patterns, like if you notice that you always get turned down at a similar point, and wonder what your part in that is. But you cannot objectively analyze why what you did didn't work because all the crucial information is missing, which is the way she perceived it, the context it entered (context being her life and current life situation), her general current attitude towards dating and so on.

Eg if a man approaches a woman, him being too forward, too insecure, ugly, old etc can all lower his chances that she wants to talk to him. If he simply is in a mood where she does not want to talk to anyone that lowers the chance to almost zero. And that part you cannot know, so try not to obsess over singular situations, only recurring ones.

>>18570312
>What's your questions
Hope to date. I'd love to be friends with her, she's a great person, but it's not what I'm looking for right now and I doubt I can be friends with her and get over my feelings at the same time.

>What assholey thing did you do?
She called me over to discuss a new work schedule. I was upset over some other BS and was not in the best of moods. This was days after the new work schedule was implemented so I found it useless to discuss anything and I let her know that while also saying I would've appreciated a printout of said schedule so we wouldn't be confused. She laughed as if I were joking until she saw my seriousness and things were awkward from then on out until she said hi weeks later, though that was a little forced. It doesn't seem too forced now but you know. What happened, happened.

I've been wanting to apologize but I'm having trouble keeping it short and simple due to us being busy at work (we work in different departments) and honestly I don't know how apologizing would affect my chances with her since she started talking to me again despite me not saying sorry.

I don't know anything about women. I hear you shouldn't be friendly, you shouldn't be too mean... I don't know if saying sorry would make me too much of a friend and I may be an asshole for saying that but I don't know what other way to say it.

>>18570326
I don't have much free time desu to volunteer, I go to things that interest me e.g. there was a concert with students band that I went to, there were girls that fitted my criteria, but I didn't do anything.

What should I do in cases like these?

I'm tired of being alone desu. I want to know what's like to be in a relationship...

>>18570116
>what you are doing is not showing her that you think little of her but showing her that you aren't afraid of her, she isn't some pristine Madonna to you, you can take her on and challenge her and fuck with her a bit. This will make it much more easy for her to envision you throwing her around in the bedroom than simply being polite and friendly will - those two alone are also almost formal, almost impersonal.
I like the way you phrased this.

>most girls will go for the guy who makes them feel things over the guy who looks good.
Agreed

>When you get into a relationship with someone you don't just sign up for that person (as an isolated element), you sign up for the specific dynamic that exists between the two of you
I feel strongly about this! Relationships are all about dynamic. That's why it kills me when try and parcel out what an ideal partner is. Partners don't exist in a vacuum, it's about how he dances with specifically me. Even the exact same person can establish different kinds of dynamics.

>The idea with these things is that you see if she wants to interact with you like this. You try something small and elaborate on that if it works and you can tell she's interested in flirting back. If not, you back off. It's not like you go from 0 to 100 out of nowhere. There's ample time to realize that the chemistry isn't there. People are awkward and try to avoid explicit rejections at all costs. Her real, initial rejection will be painless.
I suppose this is also why I get frustrated with men taking rejection badly. Since I'm usually really careful about not leading guys on, if he's genuinely surprised about my rejection, that means that he can't read my non-verbal cues. If we don't speak the same non-verbal language, it underlines how we wouldn't be compatible in a relationship anyway.

Thanks for putting all this effort into helping the guys of /adv/, Anon.

>>18570358
To be fair, it is more difficult to strike up a conversation at an occasion like this than at the examples I mentioned. The whole vibe (on-going music etc) doesn't really encourage mingling with other people who happen to be there.
Your best bet is to find a spot close to them, preferably with a friend, and catch their attention just with what you're doing. Eg either one lifting the other to take a picture, if you have a ballsy friend let him make an ass out of himself dancing, whatever. Then when she looks over you can comment with something humorous about the situation. You'll be able to tell quickly whether or not she's up for interaction with a stranger. A very quick smile then looking away is a no. Saying something back and holding eye contact for a moment after is a yes. In that case keep talking for ~five minutes, then ask (if it's that kind of concert, which most student bands in my experience are) if they want to join you for drinks. It takes a few tries to pull these kind of moves off with confidence but there's also lots of girls going to those things hoping to meet someone interesting, or at least have a night not completely like their regular nights off and hanging out with nice people you just met fits right in there.

Where will I meet the vagina of my life?

girls, will you think a guy is a pussy if his favorite drink is angry orchard?

>>18570406
>That's why it kills me when try and parcel out what an ideal partner is.
Hahaha yes, let alone the whole "would you date a guy with [x quality]" without any other context. I understand it at the same time because most people are fascinated with what others will think of them and trying to figure that out once and for all. But it's not possible and like you said it is a dance, a two people play. A thriving relationship is more than the sum of parts.

And yes it is quite frustrating if you are trying to do all you can to not give the wrong impression and your efforts are entirely futile. I guess some men are just utterly dense but I feel in many cases it is also a matter of wanting to believe that they can achieve more with sheer will power and determination than they actually can. It doesn't help that movies etc tend to portray it as much more straightforward (man seducing the woman in a very one-sided way) than the reality is, which from my impression makes some guys feel like they personally need to win the girl over instead of finding a girl who is receptive towards them then together testing the waters and spending more time interacting to the point where something real can grow.

I do it gladly, it is quite unfortunate to see all these guys obsessing over their "stats" and seemingly not understanding how romantic relationships actually unfold. Some day I will make some real infographs I guess but I tend to ramble, that doesn't do too well on pics that lose the nuance. Either way thank you for actually reading through all this and adding your experience :)

>>18570420
Well this concert is every once in a year, where the fuck do I meet girls that "fit my taste"?

I know, I am asking the same shit all over again, but then I can't help it but ask.

I am abroad till the end of August for a 2 months long internship. My boyfriend got depressed while I was away, and hasn't been answering my texts for 10 days. He was supposed to visit me in 2 days but I doubt it is going to happen.

How do I go about it?

>>18570453
he is probably worried you're fucking other niggas
that is the stereotype of girls abroad

send him a snap of your pussy with a caption saying you need hsi dick

>>18570447
Internet dating is the quickest and most obvious solutions. I named some other possibilities in the post you replied to earlier, but they all require an investment of time/energy. Unless you can find them through friends of friends I guess, that depends entirely on the guy but if you have male friends as you said that are popular with girls, that might be a good start. Like a night out where he brings his friends and his current girlfriend brings hers, or parties that effectively boil down to that.

>>18570457
That'd be an awkward way to break the ice after 10 days of no-talking.

>>18570453
Try to make sure he's not dead and ask if he's gonna come see you and see what he says. If he doesn't come or doesn't answer then reconsider the relationship because this isnt boyfriend behavior no matter what he's depressed about.

>>18570465
no that is the best way believe me

>>18570467
He's alive. I called his mom and she told me he's at home with them, but he is basically laying in bed all day and won't get up. He refused to talk to me on the phone. She checks in with me every other day.
He had a few depressive episodes before, but he was doing better. He was on medication and seeing a doctor through school (we graduated at the end of June).

I'm really mad at him but mostly feel sorry and worried. I don't even know what to tell him.

>>18570459
Online dating is out of the question, no such thing in this 3rd world shithole I live in.

I'm just stuck here, and I can't make new acquaintances, if they don't go to the same places I go.

Fuck me.

>>18570482
he sounds like a faggot desu
But I have been depressed when my gf was traveling bc my friends told me she was prob fucking other guys.

make sure he knows you aren't being slutty in some foreign country

also girls can literally always cheer a guy up by sending nudes so I'd try that first

>>18570482
I'd suggest keeping on the worried end of the spectrum when you contact him. I'd also suggest trying to get his mom to get out of him whether or not he's visiting you.
This sounds like a pretty serious mental health issue. I can't really speak to what you should do about being in a relationship with someone like that, because when I was in a similar situation, I coped by being hugely codependent and enabling his behavior. Good luck, I guess.

>>18570465
Send him a snap saying your horny and you can't wait to be filled with him

>>18570517
this
honestly women ahve it so easy
when you fuck up in a relationship sex is like a cheat code to get a guy not mad

>>18570457
>>18570517
>>18570533
Goddammit, this is such a bad idea. Have you guys ever been or at least encountered someone who is genuinely depressed? Depression makes your sex drive jump out the window. Knowing your girlfriend is horny for you when you're not and depressed just makes you feel like shit, like you're less than a man, like you're ungrateful. It also looks inconsiderate from the girlfriend- he's obviously is going through a hard time, and if she's only thinking about getting off, it's like she's ignoring his problems.

>>18570533
This is really stupid, it doesn't work that way.

>>18570438
No. I love angry orchard.

>>18570278
>>18570292

sorry late reply but yeah there's defiantly a spark as we've been dating for about eight weeks in secret now,made love twice but nobody on her family knows about us being a thing or even suspects that she'd be interested in a younger guy that's 27---while she's 45

Is it near impossible for a girl to change her mind and start to be romantically attracted to a guy after she's known him for a long while, if she's never felt romanitcally attracted to him before?
In other words maybe I'm asking if the ladder theory is true: when a girl meets a guy she instantly decides if he will only ever be a friend or if he's a potential romantic partner, and the guy will never jump from one category to the other. Is this true?
(the theory also says guys don't separate girls into potential dates and potential friends, to guys every girl is a potential romantic interest in a higher or lower level, if you are wondering)

>>18570813
Sounds like bullshit to me

>>18570813
It wasn't true for me. I was dating a guy I didn't care about, and I was friends with the guy who would end up being my current boyfriend. I broke up with my ex and went through an anti-relationship phase, but he helped put some sense into me. Him and I have been together over 6 years now despite him starting off as just a friend

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Girls can you tell when random guys are checking you out? Like on the street? How often do you see a guy and go like damn, I wanna fuck him?

>>18570934
I've never noticed a dude checking me out before.
Granted, I'm not super attractive so it's not like I'd say its happening all the time and I just fail to notice. It likely happens /some/ times, but I still don't notice ever.

I've also never once seen a random ass dude on the street and was like "Unf can't not fuck him" Female attraction is usually more based on mentality than physical looks. Sure I can see a guy and go "Oh yeah he's cute" but it's not really a sexual thing. For me to go "I wanna fuck that guy so hard" He'd have to really charm me in talking with me.

>>18570813
Near impossible? Maybe. But not completely impossible.
Had zero, absolutely none, not even a tickle, attraction for the guy I'm currently seeing at first. Took a few months of getting to know him before I even considered him romantically/sexually.

Yes, I think people categorize others almost immediately (I also do not think you speak for all men when you say that, I know plenty of men who indeed have female friends they would NEVER fuck/date if their life depended on it.)
It's usually hard to jump out of those categories when placed, but not impossible.

I've been with my girlfriend for a year now, we've had sex a shit ton when we first started out but now lately she tells me she doesn't want to have sex at all. I don't want to force having sex with her if she only has sex with me cause I wanted to do it; I prefer it if we both enjoyed that level of intimacy instead of just "oh he wants to do it, and I kind of don't, but I guess I will since he wants to"

We haven't actually had sex in the past 6 months. Earlier this week I confronted her about this, and she finally admitted that she says she doesn't want to do it because she gets feelings of anxiety whenever I do stuff that might lead up to wanted sex like foreplay or even just kissing.

She told me a month ago that she still masturbates to porn whenever I'm not around. So clearly she has a sex drive, but she gets anxiety whenever I approach her about sex.

I looked online and I'm getting mixed signals about this shit. Some people say that when this shit happens, that means she lost interest in me and just hasn't realized it yet. Other sites report that I've passed some kind of subconscious test and she sees me as a compatible partner or some shit, so she suddenly loses all sexual interest (I have no fucking idea).

She says she feels awful that she keeps denying sex, and sometimes she asks me if I hate her now but I always tell her I'm there to support her but it's really driving me to a corner cause I have no idea what else to do. The more I talk to her about this, the more apparent it becomes that she doesn't want to fix this issue. She says that to her, sex just doesn't seem that important in her mind, so she doesn't really see it as a problem. Though she still does feel sorry about constantly denying sex from me.

I'm at a loss, I'm becoming convinced that she's lost sexual interest in me and she's not making an effort to resolve that despite her seemingly feeling sorry about it.

Please help me.

>>18570967
Cont.

Just one last thing
She says she still loves me and cares for me. And she's proven that plenty of times that she does genuinely care about me. I trust her and she trusts me. And at the moment we both plan on committing to this relationship. I've always asked her if I was bad and that's why she doesn't want to, and she says that's not the case at all.

I just don't know what to do about the sex man.

If anyone out there's been in a similar situation please, any advice would be great.

>>18570967
I'd recommend trying exercises to get her used to physical touch and kind of help her relearn to appreciate it without having the expectation of sex. She'll lay on the bed or wherever, clothes on or off depending on what she's comfortable with, and you'll touch her in different areas. If she's really uncomfortable, start with the tamer parts of the body and very gradually work your way to incorporating touching the breasts and genitals. It's not to try and turn her on, not even to specifically try and make her feel good. It's just touching her, helping her feel that it's safe. And you can't fuck afterwards, that's another rule. Ideally, she'll get comfortable with physical touch and feel safe, even with you touching her vagina, without having to worry about having sex.

>>18570975
Also, try and learn more about her feelings about this. Ask her what she thinks might have changed from when you first started dating to now. Ask her why she thinks she might have anxiety. Ask her ways she thinks you might be able to help that.

>>18570975
>>18570967
Idk, it's probably not it but I know for me sex with another person is always an anxiety attack waiting to happen because I don't care how "safe" we are there's still a chance of pregnancy.

Masturbating is less anxiety inducing because that fear is not there.

But your girl has to figure out what her deal is. Why does it make her anxious? Not much you can do until she can answer that.

>>18570806

If she's got straight male kids who are above the age of 12 they will doubtlessly see you as a personal affront and will start shit with you. If she's got a straight daughter she might be upset, or compete for you.

It's a minefield.

Have any of you guys here ever had sex with a girl with big pussy lips? I ask because i have them and it looks unappealing so i'm scared of a guy getting disgusted from it. Is there a difference in feeling? I know a lot of guys like them, but i'm still scared.

>>18570934
I only notice when it's very obvious. Never noticed someone my age checking me out, but I know it happens.

I don't have a desire to fuck a stranger. I only think things like that about guys I already know. The most a stranger can get is "He's cute".

>>18571078
I've got a puss puss that probably inspired Arby's to stuff their sandwiches so full of roast beef, and my guy can't get enough of it. It's also the only pussy he's ever personally experienced so maybe that's my saving grace

>>18571078
Not a guy but I'm also a large lipped lady. The general consensus I've seen is "Prefer innies, but don't actually care that much." I have yet to meet a real person in the flesh to actually prefer outies.
I have also been walked out on and refused sex due to being an outie before. It's only happened twice before, but it does happen. That whole meme they tell you of "No guy will ever leave once clothes come off no matter what you look like" shit is wrong as hell. There are some dudes who are very picky. Most just won't care that much though. Sucks feeling like you're not the "preferred" type, but it's better than not getting anything at all.

>>18571071
yeah she has a son & daughter both in their 30s

>>18571094
>>18571086
Then i better pray i land a not so picky one. I don't want to cut them either.

>>18571104
Yeaahhh I've looked into labiaplasty. Shit's too risky if you ask me, you risk completely numbing yourself down there irreversibly.

In the long run, if you actually get a rare dude who won't deal, then you just aren't right for each other anyway. Nothing really of value lost, just move onto the next one.

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>>18571094
>Sucks feeling like you're not the "preferred" type
God. This.
>mfw he plays with the outer lips and it looks like he's trying to eat melted cheese

>>18571108
shit actually inner lips
the damn thing is attached to me but i somehow always get that part confused

>>18571113
lol I do it too. It's hard to distinguish when technically both your sets of lips hang outside

Kind of an odd question but I tend to cum a lot, volumewise- usually 10+ strings. Does that turn girls off or does it not matter?

>>18571107
Sure..it just sucks. I have to just live with it..

>>18571118
In terms of practicality, more cum is eh because that's more I have to swallow (and I don't enjoy the taste of cum) or more the guy has to clean up. But more cum is more mentally hot, especially if the guy cums on me. I always enjoy watching my guy cum more than normal

>>18571108
>mfw he plays with the outer lips and it looks like he's trying to eat melted cheese
That sounds pretty nice

>>18571118
its not ideal since i find cum kinda gross and prefer it to be contained in a condom at all times, but not dealbreaking. I'd get over it so long as we clean up right after

>>18571125
i mean i like melted cheese, i just don't want to be reminded of a drooping pizza when i look at my own genitals

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>>18571129
reminds me of this post lol

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How do I find a girl with similar hobbies and interests to me? I don't think I'm that ugly as i'm physically fit and I did ok when I tried Tinder, but the vast majority of them had no interests or hobbies beyond muh coffee, muh netflix.

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>>18571132
oh wow

>>18571129
at least it looks nice when i spread them

>>18571135
i mean they're probably just picking safer more socially acceptable hobbies. i like role playing on neopets and spending hours imagining plots for video games but i'm sure as shit not gonna say either of those. gotta ease them into the weirdness

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>>18571153
>i like role playing on neopets
my sides

Girls, would you be ok with taking a genetic test before having children? Assuming your partner takes one as well...

I suggested this to my gf and now she's not talking to me.

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>>18571165
no bulli

>>18571169
What do you mean? Like a test to see what kind of genetic defects you have the possibility of passing on?

Idk I can see both sides of it. It's insulting in one way, to think that "Oh if I have even some slight problem then I'm inferior and you won't see a future with me?"
But on the other I can see how it's valid to want to know, because you'd want the best for your future spawn.
In the end though, what are you gonna do? Dump her if her genes aren't good enough? Is it really that important to know? I think that's why she wouldn't take it well. Not to mention, you should probably put a ring on it before getting that detailed on the prospect of children.

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>>18571153
>I like role playing on neopets
Dude I just meant like history and maybe vidya or anime I'm not that weird lmfao

>>18571186
yeah i doubt most of the chicks on tindr are autistic, but i'm sure at least some of them are picking tamer hobbies. everyone hides what they perceive to be their weirdness at first

>>18571192
This. Even shit like anime can be a landmine of a hobby.

Fuck, one of my largest interests is in Japan as a whole, the language, the culture, everything, but I keep that on the backburner until I feel safe enough to share that because nowadays the second you admit to liking anything Japanese you get labeled an insufferable weaboo who naruto runs to every class.

Fucking cringy weebs made it so I have to defend my otherwise fucking innocent interest in Japan tooth and nail. It's got a stigma.

>>18571200
i know how that goes. i once experienced specifically reeling in a guy when i told him i liked video games, only to specifically chase him away when i said i liked guild wars. he didn't know the game, only heard the nerdy name and that was it. apparently his idea of video games consisted purely of call of duty and halo, so nothing of value was lost

>>18571200

>>18571135 here, I'm not even into Japanese culture shit but yeah I never bring up an interest in Anime. But I guess my main point is not even specific things, just someone who's intellectual and is more then just a mindless consumer of whatever meme show is on Netflix that month. For example, outside of work I do my own history Podcast.

>>18571078
Not big but long lips and I think they're alright. Fingering/eating out is kinda hard because the lip cling together.

>>18571200
>anime can be a landmine of a hobby
Not trying to shit on you (I watch anime myself), but what makes this more of a hobby than just watching cartoons/TV/movies?

>>18571281
he wasn't saying it was more of a hobby, it's just a hobby that's more likely to chase people off. tv and movies are safe hobbies. cartoons and anime are where you start getting into "this is getting weird" territory

>>18571284
Ah, that makes sense. I think I got confused because I never considered watching TV to be much of a hobby in the first place.

>>18571291
eh, hobbies are just how people like spending time. there's not really superior and inferior hobbies. there are definitely hobbies that are more and less socially acceptable / more and less likely to scare someone off

>>18570967
Hug/hold/kiss her as often as possible. Might get her more comfortable with touching/getting more sexual with you

I love and care for a girl who's been manipulated by a sociopath. This guy had a weird obsession with my life and posed as my best friend, then lied to her excessively about what I was doing, and I about what thought and felt about her.

I found out and communicated enough to her that she pulled away from him, but she and I have no relationship left. She took out a lot of her anger towards him on me, and vice versa.

Wut do?

>>18571237
>>18571200
While I dont share your particular interests, I cannot for the live of me fathom dating someone who wouldn't accept my hobbies outright...

I dont shout my hobbies from the rooftops, but if/when she finds out I like to do jigsaw puzzles and she acts like its weird she better get over it quick or be dumped...

Why should one compromise on ones hobbies just to fucking have a SO ?

>>18571078
>>18571086
>>18571094

With the fear of looking excessively whiteknightish... I can safely tell you that a man should get the fuck over it...

My ex had the most beautiful innies known to man, and after that I really disliked the idea of outties.
Guess what, my current gf has outties... Not super big, but outties nonetheless and I cant fucking get enough of that shit. Holy fuck it drives me insane just thinking about it.

If a girl really likes me and has been painfully obvious about it, but I don't have an interest in her, how do I approach it? Just be nice? Tell her I'm not into her that way before she confesses her feelings?

Bonus: what if she is being shitty to girls that talk to me because she wants me for herself?

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>>18571385
Pump and dump. It's that easy.

>>18571385
Normally I would say I wouldn't do anything because if she's interested, it's up to her to make the first move. But if she's being a bitch to other girls, I would advise you to tell her you're not interested and to leave them alone

I'm INTJ, so I wouldn't necessarily classify myself and my actions as me being a "nice" guy (though I'd at least say decent), and because of that and a few other factors I am incapable of lying. I've tried, its bad, and very obvious.

How do I go about not seeming like an insufferable prick? Within my "borders" so to speak. Like, I can't NOT be INTJ, obv.

I'd say that's my real failing, I'm a good enough human, it's just the way it all comes out (or doesn't) that people have a problem with.

>>18571496
First I would stop living according to whatever the fuck the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator told you.

Psychologists have already denounced the usage of that shit cause it's so unreliable you get different results literally within 15-30 minutes of taking the test.

>Like, I can't NOT be INTJ, obv.
Just because some test explained what you are incapable of (hurr I can't lie, cause I'm such an INTJ) makes for a poor excuse to simply just change how you behave for the better.

Either don't give a shit about what other people thinks of your honesty, or change yourself if you're that insecure about losing your social grip because people are put off by your blunt asshole-ish nature

>>18571496
>taking Myers-Briggs this seriously
If anything you should read those results as an indicator of what you should work on. If you're blunt, work on being a little more sensitive - and don't start with how you can't be because muh INTJ, because I'm INTP. If I can fake liking people, then so can you.

For girls:
If a guy fucks up before you even meet. Say it's tinder date or something, but the day you both can go out he just doesn't ask or something. How would you feel about going out with him in the future? How much of a fuck up is it?

Also, do you expect this kinds of interactions (born from tinder) to be daily?

Thanks!

>>18571351
oh man that sounds like i can have some hope. Thanks really.