How do I save this, guys?

>after?

You don't because holy shit this is a cringefest

>>18567705
"Never mind, I'll just party with my 8 cats instead ;)" Also don't be too agresive on tinder. Be more agresive in the IRL meetups in your bedroom.

>>18567709
I'm sorry. This is what giving up looks like.
It's a sorry fate.

>>18567705

sry this was meant for Nicole, not u lol

>>18567705

You managed to spill your entire bowl of spaghetti on the first sentence, OP. Fucking cringe to the hundredth power. Yikes. I'd immediately burn your phone.

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>>18567761
Oh but friend, you don't even know the half of it.

>>18567764
>18567764
>cuddle you like a kitten
......

>>18567770
Dude I don't know. I am literally autismo supreme because I went without much human contact for most of my teenage years, isolating myself to my room and computer when not in class.

>>18567764
Chop your hands off OP before the cuck virus infects your body.

>>18567773
I applaud you being forward with her, that's important, but never EVER compare a girl to something cute or baby-like. You want to show her you want to fuck her, not pet her like a god damn baby lamb.

>>18567705
I will now go watch a few cartel execution videos in an attempt to air out the feeling of cringe I have in my entire body after reading this. Hopefully I can replace it with literally any other feeling.

>>18567773
Yeah, you go blame autism and computers. This shit's genetic bro... you managed to look first like a desperate teenage virgin and then moved to answering like a cuck. Sorry op. Learn to game better.

>>18567705
You stop texting incredibly convoluted, focused grouped messages
30 minutes at a time

Fuck man I don't even need to read the images
Just be a regular human
and learn what ellipsis' mean...

>>18567773
Oh, and never *ask* a girl anything, give her commands and see if she complies. i.e. don't say "wanna come cuddle-wuddle with me snookums boobykums?", instead say "you should come to my place tonight"

>>18567794
Thank you for the advice. I will remember to put it to use.

>>18567764

Sorry to bother you?

Jesus fucking christ mate you couldn't possibly have embarrassed yourself any more.

>>18567734
this, unironically. could be the best way to retrieve some dignity and a chance at getting her to laugh.

You text her "I don't know what the fuck came over me. Had too much to drink and was thinking about some bad shit." Then make up the bad shit. It's the best I can come up with lol

>>18567705
how do you find someone or find out someones name with their number or a picture of them?

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>>18567705
Top lel

When you're trying to invite a girl over never say what you're fucking doing. Saying you're all alone in particular is just sad and makes her think "I don't wanna be around this loser,he's gonna rub off on me"

PS: She's bullshitting you anyway about that party. As if she would have enough time or even coherency to be texting you if she were actually at a party.

And charge your phone that shit is super low on battery.

>>18567734
This haha

>>18567773
This is no excuse for not learning how to text game. Look up some lessons on YouTube, my man

>>18567705
This going to my cringe archive, fucking golden

Dunno about you guys, but this thread just makes me sad.

>>18567790
WHAT DOES AN ELLIPSIS MEAN?!

>sorry i meant eat your ass

>>18567705

Sod it, mate, you're not getting anywhere with this girl.

Here's how you salvage this.

DO NOTHING. DO NOT TEXT HER.
PUT THE DAMNED PHONE DOWN.

Never ever text her again, until she texts you first.
You reply (if there ever is one) needs to have a maximum of three words, no more.
You must wait a minimum of half hour before replying (if she ever texts you again).

You went to hard and too fast, she could've been up for a bit of fun, but got turned off by the clinginess and how attached you already seem.
To fix this, you need to appear uninterested, like you have other shit going on, and like this girl is not your world.

Make her miss the attention you were just giving her, by taking it away.

It's a long shot, because you fucked pretty bad here, she might never text again.
But if she does, do do this entire post.

>>18568904
It makes everyone sad. Young men shouldn't ever feel like they have to say sorry for wanting women. But also, young men have to realize that cutesy cuddle talk is no way to make a woman come running.

OP should set an example for himself and others, and stop texting like this.

Let me give you a run down
>the nugget one?
I don't know
>Yeah, you look so damn adorable
No leeway for interpretation. You can give girls compliments over texts, but it should be done playfully, like "Do you always pretend to be this adorable?"
>I just want to cuddle you like a kitten sadface
First of all, the emoji is wrong. I'm not going to be a emojinazi and tell you never to use them, but NEVER use them unless she uses them all the time - write in her own language.
Secondly, "cuddly you like a kitten" isn't very inventive. You can write something cute like that, but make it interesting. "I want to roll you up into a wet ball and set you on fire" would at least introduce some sensual adjectives into the conversation. And it's more fun to read. You stand out from all the other "oh you look so good I want to touch you"

>Wanna cuddle with me?
As other anon said, don't ask - tell! "You should come over some time and make things interesting!" or something. Since OP waitet 8 hours for her response, even this is stretching it. Whenever this happens, at least wait until the next day, but I think three days is better. Gives her the impression that you're busy doing other things than just wait around for her answer - the answer she would've given if his previous text wasn't written by a Furby.
>I'm all alone at my house and would love to have someone else in my arms tonight.
Someone else? Do you already have someone in your arms and would prefer someone else? Or would anyone do? Speak to HER, about what you want to do with HER - not about your needs, like she happens to be the first one available. Remember, she hasn't even given you any signs she's interested.

1/2

>>18568945
Dude, this shit was posted 9 hours ago. Let's assume that whatever he was going to do has already been done, and let the thread die.

>>18568956
2/2
You need to give har a reasons to think that being with you will be rewarding TO HER. Why would she care that a random stranger feels lonely tonight? You're talking to her as if she was already your girlfriend. Women on tinder want to have their imagination sparked. The way you do that is with sensual, imaginative language. Write a list of all the adjectives you can come up with, and use them to elevate the conversation. But always wait for responses. If she doesn't answer initially, go a different route than your previous text. You last one was about cuddles, and she didn't answer - that's your cue to talk about something else, and return to body proximity at a later point.

>I'm at a party tonight
At least she answered. Could be so you would leave her alone. Could be because she actually wants to keep talking to you, but not right now. I would have written either "aww you're breaking my heart" or "come over when you've had enough", depending on how ready I was to have her over, if I had to give her a response. But this also depends on the rest of the conversation.

>I guessed you would say something like that.
Gives her reason to think you're not doing very well with other girls. Lowers your value.
>Sorry to bother you
You're basically shutting her down at this point. Never apologise, unless you're actually hurting her feelings. Also, why so serious?

Ask me anything.

>>18568956
>>18568965

I was the person you replied to in your initial comment and I agree with what you said, it's sad that he doesn't understand social norms but it's also said that he has to conform to social norms instead of just bring himself, but then being himself most likely won't get him a girlfriend or he might have to wait years for someone who has the same personality as him.

It's sad but you're right, he has to change.

>>18568973
We need to remember that "being yourself" means nothing when the "person" he's being is a screen with grey bubbles and texts. He is a human being with warmth, smiles, a voice and body language. Texts can only ever make someone imagine what the person behind them is like, so he needs to use the medium he's communicating through for what it is. The medium is the message.

If OP wanted a girlfriend, he would ask for numbers and talk about fun and pleasant activities somewhere outside his house, but he's asking her to come over to his at night - OP ultimately wants sex, even if he's too timid to admit it. The version of "himself" he needs to be to her, has to be sexual for her to be interested in the same as he is. Kittens and cuddles won't do that. He doesn't have to be himself, he has to be what she wants. Protip: girls like sex as much as guys do, they just don't want to be shamed for it, so they keep it a secret from society.

Texts in this context is the contemporary equivalent of pulp fiction for horny housewives. Use the language right, and you'll have them dripping in no time.

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>>18568956
>"I want to roll you up into a wet ball and set you on fire"
what the actual fuck does this even mean?

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Okay, so what do I say now?

>>18569342
>>"I want to roll you up into a wet ball and set you on fire"
duh

Brah no way you can save this surely. She's replying out of pity.

>>18569175
It doesnt matter what it means, what matters is what it makes her feel

"Oh, this guy wants to do things to me, and he's got a sense of humor. I'm intrigued."

>>18569378
Ignore this, she actually seem like a nice girl, giving you that after the cringefest you offered her.

OP poke around a little. Don't ask too direct questions, but think of a way to get her to tell you whether she's looking for someone to date or just someone to fuck. I usually ask them whether they get asked out a lot, or if they're used to meeting their matches. "So tell me..." (again, command her, don't just ask her (for permission to ask))

>>18569342
>Down to come with me to chipotle for a mexican hangover remedy?

Or invite her to eat so you can talk in person. Fuck the texting shit. You are a disaster over the phone. See if she takes the food bait. I hope you arent a NEET.

>>18569396
I am living with my parents, and I just spent my whole 600 dollar paycheck on steam games. I won't have money to buy anyone food until this Thursday.

>>18569383
It should sound better then.

>I want to roll you up into a wet ball and set you on fire

Its such a shitty one liner that it is unusable. It would just cause confusion.

>Texting you is like salsa dancing with my patience.

>"When is the next time you're free? Lets grab a (insert popular place in your area) and get to know each other better."

>>18569398
Whats your paypal? I will send you 30 bucks to take her out on a normie date.

>>18569404
Whatever you say my dude. Best invite her to a place where she'll be able to watch sauce dripping down your face

>being this American

>>18569408

Damn hope OP replies to you

>>18569398
>>18569408
The man spent 600 bucks on steam games. Are you sure u want to waste money on this autist?

>>18569398
You know kiddo, you should actually sit down and think about what's more important in life. Games or game

>>18569408
Okay. My PayPal email is [email protected]
I'm not sure if that will let you send me it.
Does ramen and then going to the mall seem like a good idea?

>>18569414
Ordering food that could potentially cause a mess.

>being this much of a wet ball

>>18569420
Like an actual ramen shop?
Also dont go to the mall with only 30 bucks bro.

>>18569420
>letmelivedeep
my sides

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>>18569424
F-fuck off
Everybody already knows I'm autism incarnate.
No need to rub it in.

>>18569420
Type your paypal into the tinder message box so i know its real senpai.

>>18569422
Well, I don't tend to spend money on food when I'm on dates. Bottle of wine perhaps.

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>>18569426
There you are.
Should I just ask "want to go get some ramen with me this afternoon?"

>>18569423
Yeah, I know a good one that I go to all the time alone. It's also pretty close to a lot of other stuff too, so maybe we could go walk around a park afterwards or something. Or maybe normies don't like doing that.

>>18569404
You're wrong

>>18569428
Indeed. I cannot argue with this.
>>18569429
Good deal.
>>18569432
If it were between the mall or a park. Id just do the mall. At least the mall has a/c

>>18569429
Just gets worse and worse

>>18569429
I cannot believe she's still replying you might have caught one of the rare autist sympathizers

>>18567705
you sound so fucking needy its gross theres no saving it fag.

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>>18569447
I'm sorry anon.
I don't know what I'm doing.

>>18569453
Ask her out and stop sperging
The less you talk, especially about yourself the better it is

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>>18569456
Was this commanding enough, or should I just have told her to come?

>>18569429
Hit the thread up with her response to that. Dont send her such long texts brother. Try to cut your messages down to 10-15 words or less.

Ask her out to something.
Her answer will determine if i send the money or not.

>>18569435
Fuck you, how am i wrong?

>>18569462
you're wrong because those lines are lame as shit unless you're trying to catch the lowest common denominator on your hook

a woman worth anything would react to "I want to roll you up into a wet ball and set you on fire" much better

doesn't matter if it makes sense

those lines make you blend in with all the other dudes and at most makes her think "eh maybe"

Dear god, this isn't just any kind of autism this is ADVANCED autism

>>18569462
>>18569473
Both of you are horrible at talking to women

OP is an irredeemable autist

>>18569479
i object

>>18569473
That line just fucks with me the wrong way. I dont know why. Maybe if you changed it from

>I want to roll you up into a wet ball and set you on fire

To

>I want to roll you up into a wet ball and set you ablaze.

>>18569482
To which part?

There's no need to use stupid one liners this late in the game. OP already got this girls number somehow, he just has to ask her on a not retarded date

>>18569461
for the love of god stop anon! stop being a fucking weirdo!

>>18569461
mate, honest advice: cut the length of your text down, you look desperate. She seems sweet and genuinely interested in you, dont let it slip. Just wait for her reply now, dont spill your spaghetti further

>>18569488
We understand this.
We are just speaking in general terms. Not about OP's case.

>>18569487
i think i get where you're coming from now, but i disagree, "on fire" is definitely more risky.
"ablaze" /is/ a more romantic word

but i think there is no need for romance at that point, and the violence of "on fire" is more attention grabbing
but i think this might be a matter of the kind of girl you go for

>>18569506
Very true. I must agree with you there senpai.

>>18569506
>>18569511
The inventor of roll you up and set you on fire here.

My honest to god humble guess is that you guys are in your late teens or early twenties, and I'm 33. There's no romance on my mind when I compose lines like that. All I'm thinking is wet and hot, and that's what I want her to be thinking about as well.

>>18569531
you are right i'm 23

i like that

i will use it as a template

>>18569461

Dude I've never been clubbing or to a nightclub and we both know to alot of normies out there we are the losers because of that right?

So why are you telling her that you don't go to social gatherings making yourself look like a weirdo, you can tell her after a few dates but not in your first encounter!

Atleast pretend to be normal!

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>>18567705
>>18567764
>>18569342
>>18569429
>>18569461
This is like watching a car crash, it keeps getting worse. I don't know whether to laugh or cringe

>>18567705
say "wrong chat"

>>18567764

WOW this tops any sperg I have ever done.

Getting your name changed and a sex change operation looks like the best option at this point

Pretend it never happened.
A-tip I got from a friend of mine. You can do that with MANY things, just that simple, and they won't bring it up, they won't even remember it after a few time.

>>18567705
craSH THE FKN PARTY, DUH!!!

>>18567705
>>18567764
>>18569342
>>18569429
>>18569461

m8....... come on, m8.

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Holy shit I fucking love u op hope she sees over your anxiety and autismo.
Best wishes

>>18567705

OP PLEASE UPDATE US

>>18569461
Ramenbro, please update us. Also, you have to change your tune, your chances are burning up like a fucking rag soaked with gasoline..