Sex = shame?

>>18566702
Hahah my first sex experience ended with me barely getting it up and then finishing on my shirt with a lame handjob with a face of dissapointment on my fatass partner. Now I fuck expensive hookers. I don't know if that's an improvement or not, but I have a lot of fun doing it!

>>18566725

You don't feel bad about it?

>>18566732
Haha, I was pretty embarassed at the time, but come on. Giving up on sex just because of one lousy exprience? That's just no fun. I also fucked non hookers BTW. just I found hookers quite convinient time wise.

I'm not so ashamed I've turned down sex all together but the first time I had sex I went raw and when I pulled out and came I hit my chin.

Not sure how I pulled it off but god damn, was funny and embarrassing.

>>18566743
>>18566755

I can't..

My first experience was terrible. I felt pretty ashamed. so now anytime I think of myself and picture myself in a sex situation, I always think back to that and just think "Me + Sex = negativity"

I tried it again a few years later, all that happened was this girl gave me a pathetic bj, even then I still felt bad about myself.

>>18566760
You might need to just quit being a pussy and get over it, how shameful could it be that you can't even have sex? Unless you blew a tranny or got raped I don't see the big deal.

>>18566760
OP you sound like a fragile man. I bet there is other stuff going on in your life that makes you like that, not just that one bad experience. I bet those things are the root of the problem.

>>18566769

It was a real girl, just I was not attracted to her at all. But she was so into it, it just really really weirded me out and also caused me a fuck load of stress because I was petrified that she may have gotten pregnant. It was just gross, even right now explaining it I feel gross thinking back on it.

>>18566774

I hear what you're saying, and in theory it makes sense. But, honestly I'm very squared away in all other aspects of my life. I've been working hard and have a lot going for me.

>>18566702
The sex was good but it fucked me up emotionally and mentally cause the guy loved another girl. He still thinks I've been the greatest experience in sex he's ever had.

>>18566786

I've always been baffled by that. Say you love someone, but the best sex of your life was with someone else. So you'd think back on that other person and just relive that shit in your head?

My first experience was so bad that I barely even able to maintain a boner nowadays, while masturbating.

>>18566820

That happens to me too sometimes Tbh

Greentext your story pls

>>18566805
Exactly. I don't imagine myself having sex anymore nowadays. Tho I hope that changes

>>18567322

Same. I honestly won't be surprised if I go into my late 30s without having sex. It's not because I can't get it, it's because I won't allow it

Was about to get sucked off and couldn't hold in a nasty oyster fart has her gagging and dry reaching... Yeah killed the mood totally and couldn't control laughing at her gag reaction

>>18566702
>Anyone here ever have a bad experience with sex that has made them feel a lot of shame
At the end of my longest dry spell I got with a married chick at work who was dumb as shit and half-crazy but still wanted my cock for some reason. I'd never messed with a married chick before that and it got me feeling bad shame.

>which leads you away from sex in the future?
Not at all. It just showed me I can't really handle casual flings with married chicks because my dick hasn't seen pussy in too long.

>>18567352
I hope I can get laid. But from genuine love, not getting fucked cause "your girlfriend wouldn't offer sex so youd go to me" kinda shit. I hate that I still love this guy

>>18566702
yeah OP I lost my virginity to a fat chick I didn't even realize was more desperate than me. Sex and dating in general forces you to consider your human value, which is not always a fun experience, at least not for me.

>>18566786
babe no guy has ever told a girl that they're not the best sex he's ever had.

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>>18567491

The girl I fucked was just overall annoying and unattractive. I remember mid fuck I thought "what am I doing". Yet that girl was so into it that it was worrisome. She was all over me and moaning loud as fuck and literally rocking her hips against me so hard as we did it. It was just really gross. She came really really hard, I pulled out and pathetically came on her stomach and I literally thought gif related. That was a bad night..

>>18566702
my ex said my dick was small
it's 6" at the least and 7" if it's measured from the pubic bone
it's just irritating to think about even though it's a normal size (at least she's an ex)

>>18567505
Why did you sleep with her in the first place?

>>18567596

I was 20 years old and a virgin. I felt so pressured to lose my VCard. At the time, she was the only girl I knew, and she wanted it. So, I figured what everyone said "pussy is pussy"... I learned that the fucking hard way.

Now, sex just seems repulsive

I got drunk and let a cute twink dress me up and rail me one night
Haven't had sex since out of shame
It's been like 8 months

>>18566702
>im naturally monogamous
>try new things bf asks me to
>he cheated, i cry, i ignore him, forgive
>happens 2 more times
>i got mad, packed my shit, screamed at him, stop believing in monogamy
>have meaningless sex with the hot guy at the gym, guy at the bar, ex, and childhood friend
>currently no longer value sex or relationships and no libido
Im stuck. I want out of this life.

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>>18566702
Willpower, laziness, and introversion, prevents me from banging the uggos. When I'm not interested, I just simply can't. Morals>Degeneracy

>>18568314

You fucked a dude? :0

Not sex, but a sexual act.

>Almost a week without sleep
>I actually hate her and planned to cut ties with her
>She convinces me to go to a sleepover at her place
>She convinces me she doesn't like me
>She convinces me it's not sexual
>A few days later I found out she lied to me about that, and about many more things
>Feeling of disgust and being taken advantage of
>Feel the physical incarnation of the word "disgust" on your hands
>Proceed to put hands in toaster to remove the feeling
>Feeling removed.

If I was completely sober with sleep and all, I would never agree to that shit. I was disgusted by her and by myself.

>>18569100

What did she do to you..

>>18566702
yes
>spring break sophomore year
>invited to party late by group of black guys
>me and friends give them lap dances and show our tits
>guys starts sucking my tits and I don't stop him
>end up blowing him in front of everyone and while I was another guy came on the back of my head, kept going till finish
>friends were aghast and pulled me out of there or would have stayed

>>18569373

Why did you do that, and what was going through your mind during it?

>>18569412
I was really drunk and all of us were getting wild and just drunkenly did it.

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>>18569373
BURN

>>18569373
White women and black men are sexually depraved creatures.

Make sure not to spread your STIs.

>>18569026
Er, he fucked me. It was okay

>>18569417

I'm glad I've never went to spring break parties

>Was trying to get back together with ex
>Fuck and start back relationship over Thanksgiving Break. Things seem good.
>One night fucking
>She gets call from some random
>Says it's Josh and she needs to get checked for HIV
>Tries telling me she had never done anything
>Tells her I know about what she's been doing, I have friends at the frat parties you've been going to
>Tries to say it was her friend prank calling her
>Both get tested (her once, me three times to make sure I didn't catch anything serious over the course of 3 months)
>She was positive for an STI and I was clean

>>18569431
we didn't go because they were black they just happened to be the guys that invited us so we went.

I thought this was a thread to get something shameful off our chest instead of an opportunity for all you guys to shame me.

>>18569464
You go to a party invited by strangers and suck dick in front of everyone and have at least one guy cum on you.

I'm just making the observation that typically speaking, white women and black men have no standards or self-respect.

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>>18569464
Listen here little baby. You're gonna get a lot of hurtful and degrading comments, but that ain't what I'm about. Let me just say, you are perfect the way you are. You hear me sugar? PERFECT. Don't ever change. You deserve anything and everything you want. Stay safe for me, baby girl
>mfw thinking of you hurting

>>18569468
Two guys came on me and why I'm really ashamed but also wonder why my friends didn't warn me or stop it. The guy on the back of my head I didn't know was there and the guy I was giving head to tried to cum in my mouth but I twisted and it hit the side of my face. When I woke the next morning it hit me what I did and my hair was caked in dried cum and plastered to my face and head.

>>18569484
That tends to happen when you go to a party and suck dick in front of spectators.

>>18569490
I know first hand and don't drink, nor been on another spring break and only dated one guy but I never gave him a bj.

>>18569503
You're on the path of redemption.

>>18569518
You really think so? Thank you anon, now if I could erase the image of my face in the mirror the next morning.

>>18569503

Well at least you are learning from your mistakes

I got into a relationship and lost my virginity to a guy I didn't care about. It wasn't a great experience, and it felt about as good as putting in a tampon--not to mention my anxiety issues latched on to the possibility of me being pregnant. I got scared off of sex for a while but things are good now

>>18567531
Maybe it's thin, maybe you could've measured it with her

>>18569587

>I got scared off of sex for a while but things are good now

How did you get over it?

I'm a guy, and my experience was similar to you. I had sex with a girl I was not attracted to. It was bad. I already had anxiety issues so I felt very stressed out. Not to mention, I was really scared she was going to get pregnant. Thank god it didn't happen. It's been 5 years since that, and I haven't been with a girl since

>>18569647
I met my current bf. Honestly I still wasn't 100% ready to have sex when we did have sex the first time, but I actually cared about him so it wasn't as bad. It did take a while for sex to start actually feeling good. At first it was just sort of going through the motions for his happiness, and me feeling happy more because he felt happy rather than it felt good.

I think I was weird about sex for a while because I didn't feel safe or comfortable, and I was doing it out of fear of hurting the guy's feelings instead of doing it out of love or desire. But having sex with my boyfriend, I got used to it, and it didn't feel like such a big scary thing

>>18566702
How fast did you cum OP?

>>18569659

>I think I was weird about sex for a while because I didn't feel comfortable,

That's exactly where I am with it.

>>18569673

In 5 minutes. The most pathetic of my life. It didn't feel like anything

>>18569689
I think it would be good for you to wait until you're with someone you care about, someone who's gentle, kind, and understanding. If having sex brings you a lot of stress and anxiety, then just making that effort to get you more comfortable with sex would sort of desensitize you to it, but in a way where the fear would be desensitized. Having sex more often helped it feel more normal, less scary, and I felt less and less like there were all these expectations and standards I had to meet

>>18569698

Let me ask you this tho. Assume you were a different girl (I say this, because right now you understand how I feel, most girls won't). Assume you started dating a guy and you really want to have sex with him. But he tells you that he doesn't feel comfortable yet. I just feel like most girls would not like to hear that..

I just have a very jaded view right now towards sex.

>>18569708
Honestly yes, I could see how girls would think that was weird, especially with how often we hear about how guys are just sex-crazed horndogs. And yes, some girls won't be willing to work with you through your issues. But some will understand and some will stay with you and help ease you into sex. With the right person, there's no one way you have to perform, there's no specific things you have to do, it's just you and them connecting and making each other feel good. It may be that you're kind of eh about it and not 100% comfortable your first time. I'm not sure if it's reasonable to wait until you're 100% comfortable because you have to step outside your comfort zone and actively work on your attitude about sex, and I feel like one of the ways to do that is to actually have sex and just gradually realize it's not this big, scary thing to hate and fear

>>18569721

It just seeing really unlikely a girl would be understanding since I'm a 27 year old guy. One of my female friends was making jokes about sex one day and said "you know what I mean!" and I was just honest and said "no, I don't". She replied "what?? Yes you do!" so, I told her that I've only done it once and it was many years ago, she said "OMG WHAT? How how!? You've become a priest!!!" it was embarrassing..

>>18569765
Everyone has their ideas of what people should be like. Society likes to brainwash people into believing something is wrong with them if they haven't had sex by a certain age, or if they haven't had a lot of sex, or if they don't think sex is the best thing in the entire universe. Just because people have bought into this doesn't mean you have to. You're not embarrassing. You're doing just fine! Everyone has their demons and shit to deal with, stuff they're embarrassed about even though they shouldn't be. Just because something that seems easy to other people isn't easy for you doesn't make you broken.

But there are understanding, empathetic people out there who would know better than to make you feel alienated like that

>>18569774

Yeah, you're right. Thanks femanon.

I once tore my frenulum during a one-night stand. Embarassing isnt your first or second thought, more like holy shit my dick is bleeding like crazy.
Had to go to a hospital and had it fixed, but didnt drive me away.

>>18566702
Yeah, it's when I realized I can't do hookups.

>>18569844

Tell your story

>>18566702
ive avoided all casual sexual encounters due to my fears around sex, but ive had a couple long term girlfriends. with both of them i was abyssmal at first but by being willing to talk about and it be vulnerable i was able to overcome most of my issues in the context of having sex with them and was able to end up having sex lives that i was mostly happy with.

>>18566702
First time I ever had sex was a drunken hookup earlier this year. The foreplay went well but when it came time to penetrate I could barely feel anything unless I was all the way in her. She also started moaning before I even went in so it was obviously fake. She also was super zoned out and not in sync with me at all. So I'm stroking her trying to get the rhythm down and slip out a couple times. She puts me back in and I start stroking again. After awhile she starts slamming her pelvis into me like she can't feel anything, or I'm not going deep enough then obviously annoyed does a position switch. She gets on top of me, puts me inside her again and starts riding except she pulls up so far my dick pops out every time. After a few tries and I keep popping out, she makes up a lie gets up, puts her clothes on and leaves. The next day she says it was a mistake and friendzones me in this really roundabout way that tells me she didn't enjoy the experience at all but doesn't want things to be awkward between us. It was pretty crushing and I haven't had sex since then. I don't feel confident enough to try with another girl at all.

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>>18570105

>>18566785
Fuck girls you're attracted to, I guess?

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>>18570105
I literally had this same exact experience with a hooker a couple months ago. I haven't wanted to have sex since then, and I don't know if I ever will. Damn.

>also paid for an hour and got 20 minutes keke

>>18570598
I learned the hard way that a bad sex experience can really fuck with your head when you're inexperienced. I regret not waiting for someone that actually took the time to get to know me (and give a fuck about me instead of a quick orgasm). Every time I even think about flirting with a woman I remember that experience and it kills the motivation. I wish I could erase my memory of that night.

>>18570612
Same. That was after a 4-year dry spell too. The last time I had fucked it was my ex gf and we only spent one weekend together.

Plus I unironically belive now
>literally any other acivity>sex with a condom
I think I'd just turn down the sex if she wouldn't let me go raw.

>>18570580

It's more difficult than it sounds. I say that because I literally don't feel comfortable getting that physically close to girls now. like, in that intimate type of closeness..

Some of these stories scare me from being in a relationship and losing my V-Card.

>>18570666
I'm
>>18570598
>>18570625
I say go for it. If you get the chance at least give it a try. You could be like the 99.99999% of people who think it's awesome. Odds are pretty good.

>>18570666

Just be careful

>>18570612
This is a lot like me. All my sexual encounters were girls who were just horny and didn't really care much about me to the point of physically hurting me.

Whenever I come across hentai I don't like seeing it anymore cause It reminds me of the sex I had with somone I loved but didn't feel the same way. We both shared hentai we thought we'd like.

>>18571331
Why do girls do that thing where they grab your dick and just pull on it? Do they think that feels good?

>>18570612

Fuck this is totally me

>>18572291
> Do they think that feels good?
Yes they do. They typically don't understand what a penis is or that it might be able to feel things besides pure pleasure.

>>18572958
kek

It's like they're pulling a carrot out of the ground.

>>18566702
Was with a girl I liked in a "fwb" relationship, but for some reason I couldn't get erect many of the times we were having sex, no matter what I did

I know she was supportive, but damn if it didn't screw me up emotionally

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the first and only time I tried to have sex I was completely stressed with trying to make it go well and several thins happened

My dick was too big
the girl had vaginismus (her vagina was reflexively closed and it was painful for her, so she was crying)
she refused to make it easier and relax
I was struggling to keep it hard because of the stress
I didn't really love her, she wasn't that attractive.
I had (and most likely still uncounciously have) unfair expectancies of myself, like I must be in control of the situation at all times and its my duty to make everything go well, so more stressed out

I worked so fucking hard
so fucking hard to get a girl to like me
and what do I get? a horrible relationship that only took me away from the things I liked (I wanted to go out with friends to do things I liked but instead I forced myself to go on dates with the girl telling myself that "its a needed sacrifice"), gave me only worries, stressed me out and couldn't even have sex
THAT TOOK ALL MY EFFORT AND LUCK
ALL OF IT
THAT PIECE OF SHIT

yes, I'm going to die alone

>>18573334
>My dick was too big
Yes, I have that problem all the time.

>>18573334
>she refused to make it easier and relax
Our bodies often betray us. Doesn't make her a bad or evil person that was intentionally denying you entrance to puss town

>>18566702
Yes, all of them, and this is why only shame turns me on, unfortunately.

Pretty much the first time I got naked with a girl I wanted to put my clothes back on immediately. Didn't want to do it, she was the one who started pulling my clothes off and I don't know what I even expected and she had more cellulite than I thought and I was tired, and it was just awful, couldn't get an erection and I wish I would have waited

>>18575020

Damn

>>18573334
Dude, don't be an asshole. Vaginismus can't be controlled, that's why it's a medical condition. She can't make herself relax any more than you can stop yourself from blinking when someone suddenly claps near your face or kick when someone hits the nerve in your knee. It's a reflex.

If you had a terrible relationship, I'm sorry about that, that sucks.

To be honest, it wasn't a good idea to go with someone you weren't attracted to and didn't love. It's not worth it, usually. It'll just end badly and it'll suck for everyone involved. You can't force this stuff.

You have to learn to relax and let stuff happen. If the relationship is meant to be (as in you both like each other and are compatible, not anything predestined), then things will happen without you having to force them. You're putting too much on yourself and you're inevitably going to break from it.

Shit happens sometimes. That's life. You can't prevent it. What you can do is keep an open mind and try to fix things. Communicate, compromise, solve problems that arise. Even the best relationships have problems that need to be solved, but if everyone cooperates to work it out, then everything is fine.

>>18576081

Makes sense

My first girlfriend used to hate me cumming. Like she'd make a big fuss about how I always "made a mess" or got annoyed when we'd have t clean up afterwards. For a long time it made it hard for me to cum with my next girlfriend, as I just had it drilled into my head that it was a bad thing.

>>18577065

Why would your ex gf want to have sex with you if she didn't want you to cum?

>>18566702
When i was much younger and a pushover i had a crazy ex who would literally slash herself up and threaten suicide, threaten calling the police and so on if she didnt get her way.

Id just have sex with her when she wanted to avoid a drama scene.

Now many years later in sexual situations i immediately feel repulsed and fill with anxiety unless im the initiator. Im married. The Wife knows she cant initiate (and she knows why).

Anyways i eventually looked it up and found out this extremely typical behaviour for someone who has too many repeated sexual encounters against their full will.


Does that make me a male rape victim? I cant tell.

>>18577076

my situation wasn't nearly as extreme as yours.

But I was forced into a sexual situation by a friend when I was 18. and when I was 20 I felt so pressured to lose my Virginity I fucked a girl I didn't like just to do it. Huge mistake.

I feel repulsed but sex now

>>18577076
I'm not trying to minimize, but you're pretty soft if you're still bothered from a manipulative whore you met later on in life. That would be totally understand if that happened as a kid, but sincerely you should just find a good counselor. That's not the type of thing that is insurmountable, unless it is on top of a deeper problem, which would be a better reason to go to therapy still

>>18577134
I am otherwise 100% fine.

I didnt make the connection until recently when i went over times id get pissed off and repulsed by sex, found the pattern and further discovered (in peer review studies) that thats pretty a pretty common reaction. It was also more of an "aha!" discovery than it was some kind of flood back of terrible memories and despair.

Its not even really ruining my life because yeah, i wanna fuck ill just do it. It isnt worth the time and money to fix with a therapist. But its like touching a hot burner man. Got burned before so body and mind holds back from what it thinks is a similar situation.

>>18577134

That doesn't make him soft.

He could be very mentally tough to most things at life. But if that's his first emotional experience with a woman, which would make him open up and make himself vulnerable, it could fuck him up.

Think about this. There are military special forces who are tough as fuck in all situations. They are some of the toughest people in the world but can shy away when dealing with women. They can push their body and mind through extremes most people can't handle, but they may be very nervous with women if they are not experienced in that field