Mom's abusive husband won't let me see her

>>18566194
I know it hurts but your mom is literally insane. She's a two face bitch. That is probably jealous of you because you're young and pretty. It might seem like a meme but older women can become vultures. I know she was really important and cared about you. But now she doesn't. You will have to accept that and move forward. Femnon it will be hard but you can do it. Also find a new support structure. Do try to chase her for love. She won't be giving it.

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>>18566194
Photo of my eye that night, he told my mom it "was fake and just to get her away from him and spend money on me" ????
I couldn't even go out and get my own because it was midnight and no stores carrying allergy meds were open and I knew she had some of my old ones

>>18566213
I don't think she is jealous, she tries to buy me things to make up for her behavior with her husband all the time. I literally have to tell her that money and objects isn't what I want. I don't know. I just feel broken.
At one point she admitted that his "behavior needed to change" and "things would be changing and she misses me so much."
but they never did. and I am left feeling worthless and torn apart.

>>18566228
Its not. Your fault, your mom is just in bed with a crazy controlling man, nothing you can do except try to convince her to leave him.

>>18566194
She is probably in an adusive
relationship desu this all abusive people try to keep anyone away who might help the person they love see logic , etc

>>18566228
She chose that man to be her husband. What does that say about her person?
Also buying gifts is not a sign of care, it's actually the opposite. If she wanted to makes things right she would emotional be there for you and actually apologize for her behaviors. My mom emotional abused me growing up and always covered it up with gifts. I felt the same way I didn't want gifts and money but love. Never got it. I know you feel broken it will hurt. But time will heal it. You gotta focus on your future now.
Also that last part were "things never change" they won't, your mom turned her back on you and it's tearing you apart. Does she care? Doesn't look like it. Do not listen to her. She's already proved her words mean nothing. I know you want it to be like it use to. You have to let go or this will emotionally wreck and or kill you. There really is no orlther way in this situation.

>>18566255
I just want to know why and how. She used to do anything and everything she could to help me out and be in my corner. I don't understand how it changed so fast and abruptly.

>>18566215
If your mom really cared she would've ignored her husband and helped you

>>18566307
Is understanding it going to fix it? Your mom is obviously dealing with some problems. It's not up to you to fix them. Sometimes the best way to deal with pain is to let go of it

>>18566194
Okay OP listen up. This is straight out of manipulation manual that I shouldn't be saying but I hope will help. Your mom is in a "psychopatic/Depressive" Duo. When one of the people makes the other feel guilty (pshychopatic) and the depressive has a tendency to be guilt ridden and enjoys it to some degree (neurotic enjoyment). What you need to do if you want your mom back is to become the new psychopath. Make her feel horribly guilty she's not seeing you. Insult her. Denigrate her. Be extreamly mean. Make her cry herself to sleep and you'll be seeing her and you dog in no time.

look up your local police non-emergency number and call them, explain the situation and tell them that you believe your stepfather is mentally abusing your mom and ask for a wellness/welfare check.

>>18566323
Oh... use these words with a cutting tone. "Mom, you are a fucking bad mother and a bad woman. You let a guy run your life. I wouldn never thought were such a pathetic piece of shit. I don't know how could I ever love you." The cutting and aggresive tone is important. If she's depressive as I imagine, she may start crying or be upset but at least she'll give ground and fight the husband. This is not trolling BTW, do it and you'll reap the benefits. I know you are a female but you are capable of being mean. Or are you going to let them walk all over you?

>>18566194
I think that her husband is trying to make her cut connections with you. You need to remove him from her life in one way or another.

>>18566372
I can try since I have tried everything else. I am not used to being mean but if you think it will work I will give it a shot.

>>18566194
Sorry about your mom being a little bitch. She's prob not over the divorce and relies on her new husband for emotional (and sexual :^) ) support and that's why she's acting this way. Maybe let her know that you're there for her emotionally.
Btw your eyes look like >>18566194
In >>18566215
Your best bet is to wait until your mom gets beat by him and call the cops on him. I'm sorry he fuck led you over and made you get a ged

>>18566430
Just "become" for a while the bigger psychopath and you'll win. Don't let that pathetic dude intimidate you. Go all out with her. Make sure she feel really guilty. And ignore the husband. Don't even engage with him or bring him up. The whole conversation should be about how much of a bad person all around your mom is. Then when you have won, return to being a good person. It works wonders if you do it well.

>>18566459
I'm going to be honest, I am really scared of her husband. He's 6 foot and pretty big and I am 5'2" and I am afraid he's such a psycho that he could hurt me. I know it's kind of pathetic but I do get worried.

>>18566446
That actually made me laugh anon, thank you.my eyes do look like pepe there.

>>18566479
He is also a drunk and got fired from his old job because he drove around disabled people drunk and my mom had to support him financially by herself for 8 months.

>>18566479
Now that's a problem. Okay, I'm probably a bit biased since I'm a male who boxes and does martial arts, but I would kill to protect my love ones. If you are worried about your physical safety learn how to use a knife. Use a clip blade or full tang and practice slashing. Pepper spray won't cut it. If you are psychologically intimidated, don't be. That's how he wins. And be ready to kill, OP. I'm not joking either. Sorry if it sounds too intense

>>18566509
If I ever have to be in the same room as him (ie a family reunion for my grandfather once) I always carry a pocket knife just in case. He is unpredictable and I don't know just how crazy he might get. He's somehow ~super liberal~ too so at least he is anti gun and doesn't own one. That helps me sleep at night. (doesn't mean he couldn't find a way to get one anyways though)

>>18566509
And by "be ready to kill" I don't mean go murder him (duh) But have an agressive attitude and don't be afraid to let things get violent. If you are afraid of violence, he'll use it against you. If you are not and he senses you are ready, then he'll likely back off. (psychopaths are usually pussies in that regard)

>>18566528
Hahaha I like you OP. you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck becoming for a while the new "psychopath". Make your mom guilty AF

>>18566528
go to the police station and talk to them about it. If they can't help they'll at least know some kind of social worker you can contact for help.

>>18566580
that's the fucking kicker.
My mom is a social worker.
No I am not kidding. I wish I was.

>>18566588
I work as a volunteer in an organization that fights asthma and allergies. Both my bosses smoke. One of them, the head of the organization, does it with a pipe like it was 1910 or something. People's personal and professional lives can be miles apart.

>>18566588
Keep us posted op

>>18566666
Checked

>>18566666
I don't think I will be able to contact her tonight since she will be out camping or something. If the thread is somehow still up by the time I contact her I will let you know

>>18566671
>>18566666
OP, the keep us posted message is a sign! The devil is with you! You will be triumphant

>>18566671
Hey op if he lays a hand on you go to the police lock his ass up for as long as you can. Sorry if it hurts

>>18566588
>My mom is a social worker.
hahaha, i'm in the same boat. shit is wayyy more common than you'd think; she's nuts too.

>>18566194
By choice your mom may have become this man's sex slave.

I understand loving your mom despite all odds, op
I agree with making her feel like shit, not because that's manipulation, but because it really is the truth it seems, drive home that no amount of gifts can prove that she loves you, and that you regret having her as a mom (she will melt like the wicked witch of the west like that). Most of all, say these things in a matter of fact way, not emotionally. She might be hysterical and emotional, and try to call you out on bluffs, but if you act cool and collected, she will know deep down that she has fucked up.
There is no guarantee it will work after that, it takes her willpower to finish the job.

You just need to stronger your mom and slap some sense into her.

>mom, this guy is driving a wedge between me and you and I won't fight it if you're not willing. I dont like the guy and it feels like youve chosen him over me. Either you talk to him about letting you have a relationship with your daughter or I'm out of your life.

>>18567330
>Mom goes and dates the psycho of the century that basicallly enslaves her.
>Can be reasoned with her.

lol, I don't think so anon

wow OP your mom is pretty crazy for that delicious dick huh... you should just move on desu. You got NTR'd... it's game over man... game over...

I honestly imagine your mom is probably having too much dick to care. she's probably screaming every night. I bet she's into some creepy fetish shit. she probably loves being degraded or something and can't enjoy it knowing that her daughter might find out.

>>18566194 (OP)
Some women become like this when they think they'll be lonely forever after you leave for good.
She might have felt threatened by your plans to further your relationship with your now fiance and is now looking for a man of her own who will stay with her, no matter how shit he may be.

Also, probably this too >>18568043

Let her be and do your thing, your mom'll either recover her sanity or become more of an idiot as time passes by. If she tries to go back to you don't be a jerk and take her back, she's your mom after all.

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OP here. Messaged her. Blurred out names of people in both our lives. Tried being mean

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>>18568339

(peanut is my dog)

also kinda personal and pathetic with the kms shit but I had a hard childhood/ teen years and didn't know how to deal with shit.

>>18566372
I hope what I said was mean enough because I have spent a while crying about it because I feel so bad lmao

>>18568339
>>18568350
I guess you needed to vent but this is exactly the kind of shit you don't do, anon. Your mom will probably show your messages to this guy and he'll have even more material to fuck you up whenever he feels like.
Stay calm and collect your thoughts, and after you are able to do this, ask your mom for a talk in a neutral place, just the two of you, and tell her all this shit but in a more grown up kind of way. Also, stop using words like "everyone" or "never", this is the kind of shit that infuriates people enough to dismiss everything else you said.

>>18568375
I don't think you get it. I hardly EVER get to see her and I have tried literally everything else 20 times over. I have cried in front of her and begged her to listen while she just ignored me. I am willing to try basically fucking anything at this point before I completely give up

>>18568383
You're right, I don't really get it but wasn't that the reason you posted in /adv/? Getting validated is not something 4chan is good at so I assume you posted in here knowing that.
Your mom seems impermeable to begging and crying so I think the best you can do is just let it go for a while. Get the support you need from your fiance and the rest of your family (you mentioned your dad) and let your mom have it her way for as long as she can maintain the illusion of everything being OK. She knows she's hurting you but for some reason unbeknownst to us she's fine with doing it, it could be anything from menopause to fear to anger. Let her explain herself when the time comes.
Believe me anon, she will come back to her senses. She's your mom after all, you can't simply suppress such a bond.

>>18568414
I want to believe she will come back to her senses. When my parents first separated and were fighting more than ever my dad told her he would find a way to get full custody of me and she held me and bawled her eyes out at the thought of losing me (even though there was no chance of it because at the time SHE was the much better parent.)
I don't know what went wrong. She used to call me her best friend and put up with my sass when I was a teenager like it was nothing. I don't get it. I want to go back in time some days.

My fiance is a great support system and he does everything he can to help me out, even offered to literally steal my dog from them (but I am afraid of theft charges and trespassing obviously) and we have no criminal records and I am not about to get one. Even with all his help he still knows that there isn't really a way to replace a bond with a mom and there's nothing that's quite the same. He doesn't understand what happened either because I was with him before my mom even met her now husband and he saw the change happen too. I spend some time with his family too but it's just not the same and I don't think anything else can be.

>>18566194
You know what lions do to the cubs of other lions if they get the lioness? Primitive people act the same way. Watch some Loyneux and see why your mother is the way she is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1xf78EltKM

Get your shit together and don't waste your life on her. She didn't care before divorcing your father and you're just old bagage. She wants to start a new life and you're just reminding her of her old one. Feels bad, but I know the feel. My mother kicked me out at 15 and placed my autistic brother in a childrens home in another country to shit out 4 new ones with her new boyfriend.

It takes years to heal, but you will come stronger out on the other side.

>>18568457
I'm so sorry about that non, that is horrible. If it's true and it never goes back to the way it was I know that some day I will never make those mistakes as a mother. I feel at least better knowing that I can break that cycle by being a better mother someday than she is.

Her husband is like 9 years older than her and not in great health and she is in great health so who knows, maybe he'll topple over earlier than her and she will change.. or find a new piece of shit. i don't know.

>>18568477
It toke 10 years to come to terms with her behaviour (the whole 5 stages of grief) but it will get better and I do believe that you can profit from it. As you said, you will not make the same mistakes.

I can really recommend you to read into the whole unpleasant red pills about female behaviour and take your own conclusions. Ones you see that it's "natural behaviou" it's easier to accept, as it isn't so irrational anymore. It's also good to self-improve as a woman. At least I did after recognizing some aspects of my mother in myself.

You'll get over her. Breaking contact for at least a year is a good idea. Just act as if she's dead. Change your number and tell her that you don't want any more contact with her. She has choosen her life, don't let her choose yours too. At least you have a good fiance. Build a future and don't look behind.

Good luck, anon.

>>18568495
I am pretty red pilled on most things so I will check that out too. Thank you for the good wishes and good luck to you too!

>>18566194
Steal the dog, disregard the mother. Sometimes "allies of necessity," are just that. Apparently, that's all you were to her, so go and make some real family out of people who love you even when you offer them nothing.

>>18566194
Hi OP, first of all my sincere feels to you. I read through the thread and hope that I am able to add something for you.

We can break up the situation into two sections. 1) Your mom's "unconventional behaviour. 2) Your dependence on your mom.

1) Love makes one blind. It is as simple as that. Your mother twists and turns reality until it fits what she wants to see/experience. This manifests in her staying with her weird boyfriend, and discarding you. It is a state of mind you cannot snap out of fast. The boyfriend probably does a fair share of manipulating in order to get her in that state and guilts her into displaying this behaviour towards you. This makes your mom not necissarily a bad person (from a moral perspective she is bad, obviously), since it looks like she has a mental illness she has to overcome/she is blind to reality.

2) Your mom was a support through your teens, so you are well bonded to her. What your priority should be now is to accept the situation as it is and move on. Thinking about your mom continually, and trying to interact with her keeps ripping open the wound that needs to heal. Sometimes the world is a nasty place, and the only thing that you can do is accept it. If you discuss the situation with those close to you, you will probably get support from them and feel better. Bond better with your dad and fiance, keep your mind occupied. Treat it as an extra harsh heart break. In situations like where you are in you need to think about yourself and your mental health, tossing and turning will worsen your state. If needed you should even consider cutting her out of your life. That might teach her a lesson.