Relationship Advice Needed.

>>18565953
maybe change it to heya /adv/, and i dont know i have the same problem,whenever i think i''ve done something wrong so idk how i can help with that
Maybe toughen up with just doing it?, Regrets of not doing it are worse than actually doing it i think

I know the feel. It's just insecurity, afraid of fucking the good thing up. Just know that as long as you don't do anything truly shitty like cheat, even fights are a normal thing that sometimes happen. You will disagree, you will both do things that will annoy and upset the other one. That's going to happen. That's not going to break the relationship unless one or both of you are incredibly immature and expect some sort of eternal happiness where nothing is ever wrong. But I know how hard it is to not stress about it, I guess it's one of those "fake it till you make it" situations. Try not to bother her with your insecurities too much, of course it's good to talk about it and maybe explain it to her, but no good will come from going over it every time something like that happens. Because then instead of just apologizing and moving on, the whole thing becomes about you, and your insecurities, instead of the thing that she was actually upset about. It might even make her feel she can't be upset at you and can't say it when she is, which is bad and will strain your relationship. "I'm a horrible person" is so much easier to say than "I see what I did wrong, I'll do better next time". But it's important, because the former makes you the victim and she may feel the need to reassure you it's fine, you're fine, she likes you, instead of being able to actually discuss the issue and solve it. You get what I mean?

So yeah, when you feel that anxiety coming and are sure that she now probably hates you, just try to acknowledge that it's just your brain being dumb. It doesn't feel like it, but it is. How many times in the past has everything been fine even when you thought it's not? Instead of trusting what you feel when you're in that state of anxiety, try to trust what you've reasoned in a relaxed, more objective state. That's how I try to combat it.

Good luck.

>>18565953
Dont let Insecurity play a too big role in ur life,
because then you'll become like me,a lonely 25 year old that sits inside all day

>>18565986
>>18565986
You know what, that was really uplifting. Thanks a lot. It was really good to read through that and get a fair word of advice. Especially since you have that sort of experience so you say. I'll keep what you said in mind, thanks a bunch.

>How can I stop being such a beta bitch and toughen the fuck up

These kind of inner beliefs are probably the reason why your insecurities are brought to bear on your relationship like this.

I don't know what else to say other than you need to find the inner strength to have some confidence in yourself and accept that mistakes happen. She obviously likes you, so you are someone worth liking. Maybe remind yourself of that more often?

The other side of the coin is this is part and parcel of relationships to some extent. Feeling like you are constantly offending or doing wrong by the other person is a regular occurrence and relationships involve a lot of mind reading. Don't worry though, you'll get better at it with time, I'm sure.

By the way, i don't think you should be excessively open about this every time it happens or it may feel like a chore for her to reassure you every time, but it might be worth letting her know that it's something you are working on at the moment, just so she doesn't get blindsided if you act irrationally at some point in the future.

Here's a conversation that happened merely an hour ago with my girlfriend:

I'm going to see Dunkirk tonight with a friend.
>I thought we were going next week?
Yeah, I thought we could see something else?
>Wtf?
Oh, if it's an issue, I won't go, it's fine.
>No, you can go.
I'd feel guilty if I went.
>I'd feel guilty if you didn't.

Now I'm not going and we both feel guilty for no reason.

>>18566033
Fuck, reminds me of something that happened yesterday actually with travel plans I had in mind. Yeah, I'm trying and want to work through it, even if little by little. I think I'm just going to try to take a few steps back from here on before I reply as atleast then I can say I thought sensibly about a reply. Thanks for the sound words.