Sex between my bf and I has been sporadic, dropping to around

>>18561259
cheat on him with chad

>>18561263

No thanks. I don't want a chad, I just want him. He is my 10/10.

>>18561266
obviously he isnt, his sex drive is too low for you. get a bbc sex toy or something if you dont want to cheat now.

>>18561276

It wasn't when we met though - and this is the issue. If he manages to regain the libido he had when we met, he's absolutely perfect for me. I'm hoping this is a temporary issue but it has been going on for a very long time now.

It's more how do I deal with the feelings of inadequacy and lack of connection/intimacy with him.

>>18561259
sex does not bring close connection, it helps strenghten an existing bond but a man can rail a stranger without having any feelings for them

its quite clear he doesnt want you, half of sex happens in the brain, it enables to be turned on physically, not the other way around, your bf doesnt want you and bullshitting you, maybe you got fat, too demanding, too bitchy, coworker with yogapants is flirting with him, who knows

>>18561282
look, cant you connect with him any other way than sex? what happened to cuddling and simply enjoying time together? im not blaming you outright or anything, dont get me wrong, but why force your bf into things he clearly doesnt want?

as for the inadequacy part, does that feeling come from anything other than lack of sex? because if not its 100% in your own head.

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This is simple, FUCKING OPEN UP TO HIM AND ASK HIM WHY, EVERYTIME I DEAL WITH GIRLS THEIR AFRAID TO OPEN UP. BUT OH BOY IF IT'S A DUCKING GUY, IT'S THE BIGGEST BETA I EVER FUCKING SEEN, BIGGEST PUSSY CAN'T GO TO HIS LOVER AND OPEN UP TO HER

>>18561288

I'm not of those things, but thanks for your response. It could be somebody at work but he works in a mainly male environment so it isn't something I'd thought about.

>>18561292

Of course I can. But a physical relationship is a huge part of being with somebody. I connect with him in other ways, but I can connect with my best friends through talking and sharing ideas. I want the physical side of things with him and don't feel this is unreasonable.

>>18561295

I've asked him several times and he says it is a temporary issue to do with his mood. Talking about it isn't an issue.

>>18561303
Then what is this temporary issue with his mood?

>>18561306

As I mentioned, ending a long term addiction to prescription drugs. Allegedly it messes up your libido a huge amount and this affects people in different ways and for different lengths of time.

>>18561303
the only thing that sets relationships apart from friendships for you is sex? sorry but i dont get your worldview at all, good luck with your problem.

>>18561313
Hmm let me guess depression pills?

>>18561323

Nope, think more along the lines of benzos. Although I've heard SSRI's are a bastard for it too.

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>>18561325
Oye vey then goyim. He will never be the same then, it's a lost cause to be honest

>>18561329

I want habeeb he will return to his former glory and will support him until he does. It's just so fucking frustrating.

>>18561313
so it's a waiting game and you can't wait?

>>18561333
What makes u think he will change, no one will stay the same, for every min that passes, every hour, day, year, everyone changes, to be ones past is to never grow up and fulfill your dreams

>>18561325
as someone who was on pills for a short period, it fully fucked with my libido, some days i couldn't get it up and i'd be down cause my shit wouldn't work. gf at the time was understanding but disappointed and that's what hurt the most was I couldn't satisfy her needs, making me less inclined to want to do the deed. I'd get her off and go about my day pretty much.

if he doesn't continue to get better maybe get him to go to a doc to see if there is a bit of medical help that he may need.

>>18561343

I suppose I can wait. I just needed a bit of a moan and was hoping somebody may have been through something similar with their partners libido, and could give some words of wisdom.

>>18561350

Thank you so much for your reply. I hope you're on your way to recovery.

I try really hard not to put any pressure on things because I know it'll make things harder (no pun intended). I just feel like things are getting worse because we're falling out of the habit of sleeping together, meaning we can go weeks with nothing. I'm worried this is now a dead bedroom and even if his libido does come back, we'll be so separate that it won't matter.

I also feel uncomfortable discussing it with him because the answer is always the same. There's nothing he can do to force it.

>>18561353
aye i understand. this was me btw: >>18561350
i'm in a dickish mood.

>>18561359

No problem, I understand its a bit of a frustrating question. "My boyfriend has a mental block that will last an unspecified amount of time, please advise".

>>18561358
im not on pills anymore but i can still go a fair bit without having sex with my gf. Mainly just cause im stressed to the point I can barely sleep.

I'm off the SSRI's but I take prescribed sleeping pills here and there and even those mess with the body.

As for the pills they numb everything it took me like 3-6 months to fully recover and that was only a 6 month usage rate. He's had years? It may take over a year for his body to get back to normal. I'm talking having a raging boner about to slide in and lose it. You can't imagine the disappointment on both ends that causes. He's also recovering himself, he probably needs to talk to someone professionally to get whatever is on his mind, off of it to relax enough and understand what changes he's going through living a sober life now

>>18561365

Yeah, I imagine having several years with zero anxiety, then having to deal with the natural waves of anxiety that everybody feels, is really hard. It's probably easier just to numb yourself, which is what i think he has done. Funnily enough we went on holiday a few weeks ago and things seemed to get much better for a short period.

It's coming up to about 9 months now. I suppose we can see how it goes and if we're still having issues after Christmas then we can look at further medical advice. Thanks again :)

>>18561365
losing a boner while getting head is also the worst feeling in the world. or when you're about to cum and you basically go completely soft and cant finish.

He should be a bit more considerate to your feelings though. even in my distant phase I made sure I tried to satisfy my gf for her needs as best I could, and cuddled and connected to make up the difference. try getting yourself off as best you can to lower your chance of escalating and just go over and hang out and be a couple, if he initiates at his own pace here and there go with it until he slows down or stops. you're going to get frustrated but at least you'll know before going in

>>18561372
aye the distraction of a vacation can help a lot. anyway, hope it gets better, it sounds like he's got a good girl on his side. he better damn well realize it sooner rather than later

Does he at least finger you/eat you out?

If not dudes not pulling his weight

He doesn't need to worry about a wonky boner for that

>>18561782
He can also use a dildo/vibrator on you

Have you brought up ideas like that?
Basically just ways he can make you cum without having any pressure about performance or endurance

>>18561782

His boner is fine. I don't think he has ever lost it while we've been together. He said he just feels turned on, then numb and disinterested in sex. He doesn't do anything sexual to me.

>>18561786

That's a good idea, perhaps I'll suggest it i things don't improve naturally.

I am getting off SSRIS and it killed my sex life I still get hard with my gf but in the middle of the sex I just stop wanting it...I hate it

>>18561843

That's exactly what my boyfriend had described! He says he gets turned on when he looks at me, or we kiss, but then he gets this feeling of dread in his stomach (which sounds awful) and he just loses that drive.

>>18561259
He is cheating on you with a chad and feels gulty . Thats why he wont have sex with you.

>>18561823
>>18561786
Who knows, maybe him giving you so much pleasure again will make his sex drive come back around after a while