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Anonymous
What to do with a mom that is helpful but abusive? 2017-07-26 11:07:12 Post No. 18559846
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What to do with a mom that is helpful but abusive? 2017-07-26 11:07:12 Post No. 18559846
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What to do with a mom that is helpful but abusive?
Anonymous
2017-07-26 11:07:12
Post No. 18559846
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I'm dealing with a situation that has repeated itself for years to do with my mom, she is a good and helpful mom half the time hell I wouldn't even get the support I need if it were not for her but other times she turns into this horrible, abusive mom.
I'm 22 and even though I've moved out and that she still acts like me and my sister are in her pocket, willing to drop everything to go and help her NOW and if doesn't happen now because you know we normally have our own stuff to deal with she becomes abusive and resorts to alcohol while making emotional blackmail like shes going to die in two years, she can't keep on giving and giving and not getting anything back etc. the list goes on.
Right now I have to had my little brother sleep round because of her and even though the house is a shithole that isn't my mess she expected me to clean it all up even though all she does all day is sleep in bed, she doesn't work and only sometimes acts like a parent.
I feel so conflicted, I want to help her same with everyone else and we do but if we try to get on with our lives or something then she turns and becomes this, constantly ringing, texting, e-mailing anyone with abuse and if you have blocked her? She resorts to no caller ID until you have no choice but to turn your phone off.
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You need to set firm boundaries with her. Tell her you can't always be available at the drop of a hat for her. Since you're moved out, it's not your responsibility to be her task slave. Set a schedule for visits/calls and tell her you can't have her calling you/requesting visits (barring emergencies) outside of those times. Make sure you have consequences if she oversteps those boundaries e.g. you won't visit her for 2 weeks or answer her calls.
Also check out https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/ your mom might not be a narcissist but her behavior sounds similar to my own narcissistic mother.
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>>18559884
Hmm alright I'll see if I can do this, I'll talk it over with my sister and see what she thinks.
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