Frustrated with dating

>make me feel excited

Nobody else makes you feel excited. It's you getting excited. You're getting old and projecting your own loss of vitality on people around you.

Look, it's normal. You'll never ever be young again, but on the flip side, you'll also NEVER be as as young as you are right now, ever again. As you're older, you'll be even more tired, even more sick, even more falling apart, even less excited. Things will be less bright, more mundane. It's normal. You're getting older.

If all you look for is excitement, then you'll always be searching. think about what you really actually want out of a relationship. What you're saying sounds like you're looking for an entertainer. someone to excite you. Well, last I checked that's not what relationships are about. That's an illusion of a child's mind that sees everything with renewed excitement. Humans aren't here to just amuse each other, we're here to be companions and friends and lovers, and not necessarily energetic ones.

Again, nobody else can excite you but yourself. So be excited about finding someone sane and intelligent or whatever you value, but if you're only looking for excitement, you'll have to keep looking because that's not something you find OUT THERE. It's something you find inside of yourself.

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>>18559117
I will list things and choose the ones you like.
Join a book club if your local library has ones.
Go to church.
Working? Make friends and invite them out in group settings, girls and guys, and get to know them better. Then over time you will meet their friends too and someone might peak your interest.
Join any meetups that are things you are interested in (there are websites for this)
Go to your local comic or hobby sore and hang out there. Females actually do this too (but not as much as guys)
Do something at your park. Example, if it has disc golf, play. I had a girl once ask me if I wanted to play disc golf with her after we bumped into each other a few times.
Volunteer at your humane society or anyplace else that involves volunteer work (soup kitchen for example).
Go to cons that interest you and wear a costume you made yourself. Girls will ask you about it from time to time. Pick something that is relevant to current culture.

This is the thing OP, people used to get out a lot more and thus socialized. In doing so they established more non social network relationships and met people with similar interests. You can do this and other people still do, it's just not like everyone does is as was the way in the past. Even though we can connect with so many people due to technology, we have started to shut ourselves off to meaningful relationships. Best of luck.

>>18559138

So you're basically saying what I'm looking for doesn't exist? I don't feel sick or broken down (well, I have strep throat today, so maybe). I feel full of vitality and adventure. I feel respected at work, and happy that I've accomplished goals I didn't even set out to achieve when I dreamed in my youth.

I want a partner in crime, someone to enjoy this with me, someone to go on vacations with, and to dinner, and laugh and feel and all of those great emotions. I already do find excitement in myself, but I want someone who makes me view things in a different perspective. Safe, sane, intelligent? I mean, that sounds okay, but boring. If I just wanted someone to hug, I'd get a dog.

>>18559147
Thanks for the list of ideas, but most of them are things I already do. I haven't met any "exciting" people at cons and stuff.

>>18559172
You will eventually. With the amount of people in the world you will have to click with someone eventually. I've felt the same way before OP.

That or you are hung up on and ex and compare everyone to them.

>>18559172
> If I just wanted someone to hug, I'd get a dog.

Ok, well, good luck chasing your RomCom fantasy wife, m8. Really. It's like coming on here asking how to be a millionaire. Someone that excites you? How do expect anyone but yourself to even be able to judge that at all? I think it's exciting when a girl likes to read, bake, and sew, ffs.

>>18559176

When does it happen? If I were locked away in my house and didn't go out, I'd blame myself, but no girl has gotten my heart racing in three years (and all that did was convince me to dump my boring girlfriend). You can't force yourself to lower your interests right?

>>18559179
I mean, "this person doesn't exist" is a perfectly acceptable answer. Or "my girlfriend's friend loves to backpack through Europe and she met her husband on europebackpackers.us."

I'm basically either looking for some hope or to be told I'm fucked.

>>18559172
Being excited about someone or something is a matter of personal perception. It's not them that's exciting you, it's YOU exciting yourself over the target of your perceptions.

In other words, you have to be happy with what you have to be happy with what you have. This is the most basic logic. You need to understand it and accept it.

You have to be happy with what you have to be happy with what you have.

You have to be excited with what you have to be excited with what you have.

The logic is flawless. You need to think about this. Unless your girlfriend is literally amphetamines and cocaine, it's not her that's exciting you, it's your internal emotional frameworks.

>>18559194
>I mean, "this person doesn't exist" is a perfectly acceptable answer.

Don't you get what I'm telling you dude? "That person" can be literally anyone, because it's up to you to be excited or not about them.

>>18559198

That's a little too existential to be solid advice. It's like saying I don't actually like pizza, I only like the chemical reaction pizza creates. While it's technically true, it doesn't really represent what the situation is.

>>18559194
Maybe you are just depressed OP.

>>18559209
Yes it does. dude, Don't you understand? women aren't divided between "exciting" and "not exciting" It's all in your head. It's about what you value.

If you think you'll always look at a woman with the freshness and clarity you had as a teenage boy in puberty, then you're chasing an illusion. Those are memories of when your brain was a lot younger.

Honestly, it sounds like you're going through some kind of early mid-life crisis thing to be so confused about it.

>>18559117
You know what this really sounds like OP? After reading this thread, it sounds like you're trying to rationalize being alone and frustrated with dating after kicking out your "boring girlfriend" by projecting that "lack of excitement" on every woman out there that you find.

>>18559220
I feel pretty happy.

>>18559225
No, I understand that girls have varying degrees of excitement and there isn't a dividing line, but I haven't really met anyone in a long time that is worth an extended conversation with that I find attractive. It's hard to convince myself to keep going, like why bother? Like I said, I don't just want a hug or intimacy. It could be a little bit off a midlife crisis though - I've accomplished everything in my life I can think of wanting, and now I'm asking myself if I'm ever going to get married or try to have kids.

>>18559240
Dumping my boring girlfriend was a fantastic decision I don't regret, but it definitely made me question the nature of relationships and why we get into them. I never really liked her, she just fit this checklist of things I thought I wanted. And then I realized I didn't need to have her around because she wasn't enhancing my life, just preventing me from enjoying myself to the fullest.

>>18559276
You sound sick. Nobody can help you but yourself.

>>18559288

How is that "sick?" I realized her lifestyle and my lifestyle were not compatible. Even when we broke up, she admitted that she felt exhausted by how much I do with my life, and I was dialing it back like 50% just for her at the time.

>>18559300
no, man, you just don't get it. This is all about you. It's all inside you. It has nothing to do with your girlfriend or any other girl.

>>18559307
No, I honestly don't get it. You're telling me to make myself excited, but I'm not going to be able to force myself to get excited about some girl whose main hobby is baking when I dislike baking.

>>18559117
I feel the same way OP. I think those exiting years are behind up. It's a young person's game.

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>>18559117
Dude, your life officially began. Welcome to midlife crisis. So why complaining to go back to the dating pool? Enjoy your single life, your passage to freedom. Do the things your friends already married with children can't do. And finally if they tell you why you're single just ask them "too many lesbians" or " you people are getting old, this generation lives fully independent and no need for a man or woman".