Please help me improve!

>She and a few others would insult my looks etc. really ruined my self esteem

You have no self-esteem, then. If you rate yourself well, you would have seen that as simplistic and friendly banter, and would have answered accordingly.

>>18558033
>needy and melodramatic
You are really clear with us about what you are looking for in friends. You want someone to take an interest in you.
The problem is that most people arent looking for this type of friendship. They want light conversation and seat fillers.
Finding this deep and meaningful friendship is usually a long process of clicking and getting close over months or years.

Do something about it.

If you're fat, lose weight.
If you're personality lacks, ask someone why you suck.

People are shallow, and like to involve themselves to attractive and confident, but not arrogant, people.

If you want to change yourself don't stay on /adv/ and complain. Just think of a solution, fuck everyone else and just go with it.

>>18558033
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

take the test. Maybe it expains something for yourself.

>>18558033

You seem to lack the extra push; maybe invest yourself in someone who seems interesting.

Remember, you don't know everyone's story. I'm a closed-off asshole because of mine, but it doesn't mean I'm doing it to individuals-- it's a defense mechanism.

Show people you're there for the long haul, if they'll have you.

>>18558033
>failing on easy-mode
Embarrassing.

>>18558049
I know that self-esteem is my biggest issue and it really hurts, so I would love to improve on that. Esteem aside, she's the type to put others down for her own pleasure, so it's really not the banter you think

>>18558102
>You want someone to take an interest in you.
On point. Even quiet people have others who are super into knowing them. But I just feel people tend to brush me off / ignore me sometimes, which really sucks. I would love to be more assertive, something I'm working on.

>deep friendships
Thing is, I do "commit" myself by wanting to know more about others, but sadly only 10% of this effort is reciprocated.

>>18558215
In actual fact, I'm quite into MBTI, even using it as conversation starters. I'm a strong ENFP / J, Doesn't help that I'm extremely turbulent and get hurt really easily / need constant validation

>>18558229
>You seem to lack the extra push; maybe invest yourself in someone who seems interesting.

Could you elaborate on this "extra push"? Interested in knowing more!

Funny thing is, there's a girl who's similar to me. She's highly extroverted and energetic but just seems to click better with almost everyone else who loves her. But I get a drastically different response and I don't even know why.

>Show people you're there for the long haul, if they'll have you.

I try my best through my actions; eg. enquiring about their days, showing genuine interest, remembering their birthdays etc. Even going as far to reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

Maybe I'm too "nice" and "plain", and people take this for granted?

>>18558204
>People are shallow, and like to involve themselves to attractive and confident, but not arrogant, people.

Hard truth to swallow, I was thinking of switching to contacts and getting a new hairstyle. Do you know of anything that would help someone with small eyes + big nose?

>If you're personality lacks, ask someone why you suck.
I did do that, but my friends just said I was "normal". I'm not too sure who to ask for actual, honest, feedback though

>>18558253
Easy-mode if you're pretty. But unfortunately I'm in no mood to entertain you further.

>>18558415
Lol INFP here, and there is literally 2% diffrence in the F&T. As for the E and I, 5%. Getting hurt easily is something that sounds very familiar to me. The only thing that helped was changing my expectations and visions of experiences for future opppertunities.

If i don't get validation for things i do/did get quite sad. But then again i remind myself that i have other things to do in life than to feel sad about myself and my feels. As long as i ignore the painfull feels it kinda works. Idk if this gives you some insights or something.

Good luck anon!

>>18558394
>i do take an interest
Thats not the same thing as getting someone to do the same thing. When you take an interest in someone else it should be a selfless act with no motives of reciprocation.
You could always make this a discussion point with your friends. Dont blantently ask for attention but have a conversation about dating and mention that what you really want is for someone to take an interest in you.
You really dont want to ask for something like this because if its not voluntary then its cheap.

>>18558415

Well, what stands out about any people you know?

There are tons of weedpickers nowadays; in this thread there are a few accusing you of 'wanting the interest.' To take a more rounded angle, this basically means you're waiting for senpai to notis you.

Instead of waiting, do something worth notice. Pore over it, put time and energy into it. That something worth notice will turn into the kind of thing you can work with eventually. Even if it's... wood carvings, or something. Pursue a part of you that you haven't. I'm sure you can think of something or some things that would qualify, here.

>Too "nice" and "plain"

Well, if you're too plain, you're flat out lacking. You need to add something; maybe to your personality, maybe to your appearance (consider clothing that flatters you). Light make-up might also do the trick if you don't already. While physical appearance isn't critical, per se, it's sort of like the presentation; it can add or remove a lot just by being there. I wouldn't think too hard on this part, though, because...

If you're too 'nice,' what you're really saying is that you're probably predictable. I'm not saying you need to swing into anarchy or 'lul xD randum' crap, but you need to thoroughly consider what draws you to people.

It's not just being nice... is it? Or you'd be chasing all those people down.

More than likely it's something that is rough around the edges, away from the norm. The way that guy's self-deprecating humour is always on point; the way this guy gets right into his storytelling. The way this guy pipes up out of nowhere with in-depth contributions to a topic. It generally stands that what draws us to people is a behavior that is more noteworthy compared to the norm (rather than just their norm). Cultivate these things in yourself; elements of spontaneity, cleverness, and realism.

It's just that at present, I would guess people can largely predict where their interactions will go. Try to change that- not for the worse.

>>18558033
bamp, just got up again

>>18558430
Thanks for the encouragement anon, I wish I were more to the T side. My E is 75%, N is 60% and my F is 70%. The worst is my turbulence which is almost maxed out.

>>18558495
That sounds like a good idea!
>reciprocation
Honestly it starts out rather selfless (ie. just wanting to talk and know more about others) but after a while I start to look back and realise very little are reciprocated. Makes me constantly think that something I'm doing / saying is turning others off

>>18558618
Thank you for this reply Anon. I've actually not thought about this issue from this "predictable" angle. I've been trying to cultivate a sort of "personality gap" but it hasn't been working that well.

From my experiences so far, I've met people who tend to be attracted to quiet individuals who hold some sense of "mystery", or genki cheerful people. I thought I would fall into the latter and attract people but apparently not

>>18559882
I wish you well, OP. I can't really help since I don't have good luck with friendships, but I think it's a matter of finding people you really like and working on building something with them. And it's tough, but it's not always good to chase after people who won't ever make the first move. You're already doing well by talking to so many people and being friendly with them, so it's only a matter of time I think.

>>18560174
Thank you anon, I just want to make more friends and have a happy life. Maybe I've just converted myself from someone introverted to someone extroverted - but really annoying

Agree with other anons. You're doing a lot of the right things, and that deep relationship you're searching for will probably only be a matter of time and maybe a bit of luck.

I think you're pretty well spoken too. I'd be down to chat sometime, but would understand if you're not interested with talking to a stranger on this site, in particular.

>>18561220
I don't mind! But I might be very busy during this period, with exams coming up. Have a contact?

>>18562117
[email protected]