ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

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>>18557167
Here's a partial list of genders if you don't know your opposite gender[s].

Is it normal to feel guilty for allowing oneself to feel lonely? I feel like a asshole for allowing myself to want someone to be around, and just immediately think how other people would have lives of their own and would want to do so much more than spend time with me, and to want to constrain someone like that is to treat them as an object. Even when I have to talk to people for work I am filled with this sense that they have zero interest in what I am saying and wish for me to go away.

posted in last thread with no reply

>>18557196
Humans are social. It's normal to not want to be alone all the time. Sounds like you have some self esteem issues. Don't worry, you're most likely not annoying and people probably do enjoy your company. Don't be afraid to have friends.

i had this in mind about a girl, but i suppose it's not gender specific.

Is there a scenario/reason in which you would be interested in someone, yet you don't initiate any texting, however you always respond?

>>18557280
>it's this question again

Too individual. Some people like texting and some people fucking hate it or are just plain bad at it. If she responds and can keep a conversation running and isn't trying to get rid of you then you're fine.

Girls:

I know 99% of you don't give a shit about your own car, but do you like it when your guy drives a nice car?

>asking out of general curiosity and not because I'm in this situation; seriously.

>>18557286

literally asking for an individual answer, not your general response.

>>18557292
I mean, nice cars are kinda sexy, but really as long as it drives, I couldn't complain.

Girls of /adv/, do you have penis or vagina? Be honest.

>>18557297
There are probably a lot more girls here with vaginas than you realize.

>>18557292
I don't care how expensive your car is as long as it runs okay and is clean. To be honest, the more expensive it is, the more of a turnoff it is.

>>18557280
I'm too busy to want to sit down and commit to a conversation is one reason. There are millions more.

>>18557292
A car that's too nice is kind of intimidating, honestly. I'd rather a normal car that was well-maintained, or a classic car. The ones from the 60s in particular have a really nice look to them.

I'm a 30 year old male virgin

I've given up entirely on ever having a woman in my life.
I feel so much like if if Is a I have a lot of money, women will want me. But if I just say I'm a poor virgin, they'd avoid me.
How can I ever l feel something for people who only want me because of money?
Why not just buy a RealDoll to masturbate with?

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>>18557326
>>18557343
Not OP but how's pic related rate?
I didn't buy it to impress anyone but I'm curious how women see it.

>>18557353
Pretty nice. Looks like a little bit of a dad car, but not in a bad way, it makes it seem comfy.

>>18557353
Should I be impressed by it...?

How do you know when you can go ahead and hug a woman? I think I know that women like for the guy to initiate things, but I'm a rehabilitated creep so I don't trust my gut on these things. Are there any tells?

>>18557373
If you want to. I just wanted a W116. So I got one.

I see this girl on the bus at least once a week and she always sits behind me. She wears the tshirt of the college I go to.

Should I talk to her? I know you should avoid talking to women on the bus but it seems ok here.

>>18557353
Wow, do you have trouble finding places to moor that?

Just kidding. I drive classics too. It's probably not what grills think when you tell them you drive a merc though. That old car smell fills my nose just looking at that picture.

>>18557376
In my experience, when a girl steps into my personal zone (really close, like feet touching) it usually is because she wants some physical contact. And there's the obvious one - if they open their arms towards you. Besides those, I don't know any other signs for a hug.

>>18557401
>she always sits behind me
That's really nothing to go off of. You're still doing a cold approach. If you want to do that, go ahead, it works for some people.

>>18557373
Always should be impressed by it

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Am I not being obvious enough, or is he disinterested?
I'm probably retarded for not being able to immediately tell, but y'know. Second opinions.

>>18557167
Question for women.
Why do you avoid philosophy like a third grader avoids psychological thrillers? (I'd be very delighted to be wrong)

>>18557475
Most flirt doesn't take anywhere, and men know this. We are good at spotting it, but we ignore it because we trust that voice in our heads that tells, "yeah right, you horndog."

>>18557401
go for it, you don't really have anything to lose. over the next couple bus rides keep your eyes open for something to strike up a conversation about; a book she's reading or something i don't know. you could talk to her about school, just make sure you're aware of how interested she seems so you don't come off as creepy or pushy

>>18557480
Do you mean philosophy in a general sense, or as an educational thing? Because that shit's a meme major, but it's interesting to consider.

>>18557475
Gunna have to point out the part of this that you think is flirting. Sounds like making some standard conversation to me.

>>18557483
>but we ignore it because we trust that voice in our heads that tells, "yeah right, you horndog."

>receptionist at place I visit every other week on business is qt
>out of my league qt
>her face lit the fuck up when she saw me yesterday
>spent the last 24 hours talking myself out of it

Yep. That anon gave you accurate information.

>>18557494
this actually.
he probably just thinks you're being friendly. to be honest, guys have it pretty tough trying to balance between the expectation that they make the first actual move and not being that creep who thinks that every woman who looks at him is flirting

>>18557480
Heh? I went through a phase in my teens when I was obsessed with philosophy. Though I won't pretend that I got too deep into it. I'm a master of none.

>>18557493
Neither, I mean the real deal. The art of thinking, the love of wisdom. Closer to what you presumably mean with the "educational", but it can not be simply 'repeated' like most of education.

>>18557498
>a phase
Exactly! Philosophy isn't a phase. It is life changing. Your entire field of view changes.

>>18557480
I have absolutely no interest in it. I did a jurisprudence course as part of my law degree, and it just wasn't for me.

>>18557516
I studied a bunch of philosophers and their ideas regarding ethics and all that taught me is that rich people spend a lot of time justifying being assholes to poor people. Well, that and Fourier had some very strange ideas about what a Utopian ideal might be like.

>>18557516
>Philosophy isn't a phase.
I still wouldn't consider it something that I avoid at all. At that period of my life I was more compelled to devote larger periods of my time to my interests. I have problems with poor concentration now, and to a lesser degree motivation. Is still try to absorb as much information as I can get out of the leisurely things I do on a day to day basis.

>>18557516
Ah, all right. I guess I've just never thought of what I think you're describing as philosophy then.

>>18557516
>Exactly! Philosophy isn't a phase. It is life changing. Your entire field of view changes.

Not a grill but my guess is they avoid it because it's represented by a lot of pretentious stoners who think that the ability to formulate a question = enlightenment.

>>18557480
I personally find certain philosophical areas interesting, but a lot of it is just pretentious playing with semantics or pure conjectures based on bullshit. That's why it's not popular in general, I guess.

>>18557547
Well, my guess was that women have an innate drive that makes their desires so 'obvious' that they never do question them nor do they need to; they are biologically safe regarding any factor they can influence. This leads to women seeing the world through the lenses of the rulers; >>18557529 here's a perfect example. Seeing the world through economic models and the class warfare memes.
This is an apparent trait in any woman who opens their mouth. Now, they are human so I can't just trample over them and their world views, but any discussion on the serious topics becomes redundant.

>>18557553
>but a lot of it is just pretentious playing with semantics or pure conjectures based on bullshit.
Those are the popular philosophers. Marx, French philosophers post enlightenment...
>That's why it's not popular in general, I guess.
Heidegger should be the most popular by this guess. Alas he is not.

>>18557556
I bet you're fun at parties.

>>18557563
Parties ain't fun, even if I were to don a mask of a social beast.

>>18557561
"A lot" doesn't mean "all," anon. I thought that much was clear. And I honestly believe that most people in my age group don't even know Heidegger.

I guess I don't enjoy discussing philosophy much because all my conversations about this topic with self-proclaimed philosophy lovers ended with them insisting on some variation of "but there's no way to know anything, everything is subjective and I'm the only one intelligent enough to acknowledge that xDDDD" It's death of any thought because every conclusion is foregone and intellectual masturbation.

>>18557577
>"A lot" doesn't mean "all," anon.
Pulled an all-nighter so my eyes skip around.

>I guess I don't enjoy discussing philosophy much because all my conversations about this topic with self-proclaimed philosophy lovers ended with them insisting on some variation of "but there's no way to know anything, everything is subjective and I'm the only one intelligent enough to acknowledge that xDDDD" It's death of any thought because every conclusion is foregone and intellectual masturbation.
Marry me.

>>18557556
>>>18557529 here's a perfect example. Seeing the world through...
>>18557565
>even if I were to don a mask of a social beast.
You talk a big talk but you clearly aren't familiar with the philosophies being discussed. Fourier straight up thought the oceans would turn into lemonade.

Also you might want to loosen your fedora because you are sounding a little euphoric.

>>18557598
>You talk a big talk
Ok?
> but you clearly aren't familiar with the philosophies being discussed
It was a direct reference? I applied it to Greeks. I did mention the Frenchmen because they at least apply, but I haven't wasted my time on most of them. Rousseau a bit.
>Fourier straight up thought the oceans would turn into lemonade.
For some reason I would presume that is either a joke or a metaphor.
>Also you might want to loosen your fedora because you are sounding a little euphoric.
I know, but trust me, I'm all but.

>>18557494
I guess I was trying to suggest that we should go out/hang out sometime. I thought it was obvious.

>>18557648
It's really not. Maybe it would be more obvious within the context of the rest of the conversation but as far as I'm concerned that doesn't even remotely suggest that you two should hang out. At best it reads like you being playful.

>>18557652
We were talking about how I had 2 days off and that his got switched to two completely different ones. Then there's the message about me thinking it's unfortunate it happened right as I started talking to him some more.
That doesn't seem like an obvious suggestion that I wanted to hang out or anything?

>>18557657
Yeah no.

For the love of god and the good of men everywhere, please don't try and drop hints and expecting someone else to act on them. Hints are usually: too subtle, too easily dismissed as imagining things, too indirect to actually achieve anything. What I said stands. That was playful at best. Ask him if he wants to do something if you like him.

>>18557659
All right. To be honest, I have been gradually increasing the hints over the past few days and this was my last resort before bluntly trying to go for it.

>>18557662
If that was the least subtle hint you've given then he probably thinks you hate him.

>hey, want to go see [movie] on our next day off? my friends went without me and I really wanted to see it :(

It's that easy. No hints involved.

>>18557666
Satan trips.
Also, it got out to a couple of my work buddies that I'm interested in someone so they're gonna try and figure out who it is. That's probably good because it forces me to ask him out before they get to him.

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Am I an asshole for wanting to leave my gf because she never wants to have sex?

I have taken her out and done a lot of things she wants to do, sure i enjoy that but i wanna fuck her also. When i bring it up and she starts complaining and saying feminist shit like that I only see her as a "sexual object" and is not "respecting her".

pic related, im horny as fuck.

>>18557692
>When i bring it up and she starts complaining and saying feminist shit like that I only see her as a "sexual object" and is not "respecting her".
Holy kek, did you get cucked hard

>>18557692
>Am I an asshole for wanting to leave my gf because she never wants to have sex?
No, both people needs in a relationship have to be met.

Clearly you are incompatible. Move on with your life.

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girls, what height do I put on my tinder:
im 6'4 but should I exaggerate, i feel like all the 6'2 guys put 6'4?.
is 6'6 too tall?

>>18557723
Do not lie on dating profiles.
Being a liar is a bigger turn off than anything.

>>18557723
You know how girls describe themselves as 'curvy' and use fat girl angles and turn out to be landwhales in real life? That's the female equivalent of what you're doing.

How can I know if a woman is lesbian?

>>18557749
If she enjoys having sex with other women, that's usually a pretty good indicator.

>>18557731
>>18557742
OK thanks I wont lie then I guess.
1 more question:
would the following 4 pictures be good?
1. Selfie in nice clothing to show face
2. Friend picture to show height/social status
3. Dog picture taken somewhere adventurous
4. 6 pack picture in a pool or on the beach or something to show body

Anything I'm missing?

Girls is it worse to have your period on a hot or cold day?

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How can you tell if a girl likes you?

I haven't had a gf in ages so I have forgotten.

past few attempts at getting one I thought something was there but must've taken it the wrong way.

maybe I'm over confident about this stuff

what are some signs that she likes you?

>>18557772
Humorous to show you're a funny cunt.

>>18557807
>smiling
>laughing
>open posture
>initiating contact
>physical contact
>choosing close physical proximity
>remembering things you've told her
>asking questions
>giving proper answers that leave conversation open
>texting past bed time
>flirting
>jealous behaviours

Always safer to assume she's just being friendly or maybe has a flirty personality until you know otherwise.

>17 years old parents on vacation get the house to myself
>do a bunch of drugs with some friends
>female friend has problems with her bf and asks if she can stay at my house
>do a bunch of drugs with her
>always had the hots for her but she rejects my advances
>loves to tease though
>one night while drunk she falls asleep
>fuck her
>she leaves next day and calls me, tells me she hates me
>after awhile talk to her and she decides not to press charges but doesnt want to see me again
>fall into deep depression after realizing what i did
>quit drinking and drugs
>year later
>parents out again, different girlwants to stay over
>constant tease but rejects all advances
>ask her for sex
>she says no but wants to spoon
>hard as fuck but as im touching her i notice shes asleep
>stop and fall asleep myself
>feel good i didnt make the same mistake
>bad that im always rejected
>in the end she ended up using me

I still feel bad about it and bad about the fact that i cant understand people. Give me some advice.
I didnt understand these girls either, what were they thinking?

Ladies, what does the perfect male body look like? Post pics.

>>18557861
You literally raped her. Why the fuck would you do that?! You make us all look bad. I'll kick your ass.

>>18557195
>partial

Did noone see this? No keks?

Do small-titted girls tug on their boobs in hopes of making them larger?

>>18557692
Nah. If she's saying shit like that you're probably headed for a borderline abusive relationship anyway.

>>18557955
I don't know what that means but I don't try to make em look bigger.

>>18557280
Playing hard to get is possible, I guess. But personally I do this when I'm not interested in the guy. I enjoy talking, I want to be polite, but I feel like taking initiative will give him the wrong impression.

>>18557692
You're not an asshole for leaving someone when they cannot meet your needs in a relationship. The stuff she is saying is likely at least in part a knee jerk defense mechanism because she feels self-conscious about not being more interested in sex. Still though it also shows that she's unable to have an adult conversation about it so not promising either.

>>18557955
No tugging but I used to massage my boobs as a young girl hoping that would stimulate the tissue and I'm quite sure I wasn't alone in that.

>>18557866
This is something that does not interest me at all. I have no pictures of male bodies and don't even know a celebrity or anything like that whose body I particularly like.

I can't talk for all women and know that some care much more than I do. But for me the male body isn't remotely as important as the female body is made out to be by guys. I'm attracted to eyes, smile, scent, good posture, and most important of all how he carries himself and how he treats others. Whether he is thin, fit or chubby is an afterthought.

Are the nipples visible through shirt when excited?
There's this new chick staying in our apartment for two weeks now and yesterday I could see her nipples poking through her shirt lmao wonder if she's aroused. (We were just sitting and watching tv and I accidentally touched her bare thigh when reaching for the remote, so it might be my fault).
If I have to guess she must haven't had a good dick in a while, just finished moving here from another city and stuffs

>>18558061
They do poke through when aroused, but also when she's cold, or when the way she moved/shifted caused her bra to brush them. Nipples just get hard a lot. The reason you don't see them often is because most women wear padded bras that conceal them altogether. She was probably wearing no bra or a thin one without padding.

>>18558061
My nipples are visible through the shirt when they're hard.
They get hard pretty randomly. When I'm aroused, when I am cold, and sometimes without any reason at all.

A guy accidentally touching my thigh doesn't make me aroused tho.

>>18558063
>Nipples just get hard a lot
Very educational, thanks.
Maybe I should let her know instead of harboring dirty thoughts haha bad me

>>18558069
>A guy accidentally touching my thigh doesn't make me aroused tho.

I see, I should probably not try that again haha

>>18558070
Eh, I think most people have inappropriate thoughts about one or more of their coworkers at some point. Even if there's no one remotely attractive around, boredom will do that to you. But if you are really intent on something happening then yes making it happen is your best bet.

Plus you have the token "you're new here, would you like me to show you around/introduce you to some people or activities" excuse.

How do i find insecure women from broke homes with possible daddy issues?

>>18558128
Drug support meetings, edgier parties (squatter parties), weeding them out yourself on tinder or more to the point: craigslist.

A girl messaged me in the middle of the night saying I reminded her of something. That's a pretty good sign she's at least somewhat interested, right?
I never talk to her on messenger, so this was completely out of the blue.

>>18558177
It's a good sign but nothing to draw conclusions from, just see it as encouragement to keep her on the radar and test the waters.
She might have been pretty drunk or thinking it is quirky and loveable to text random people random things. Up until you have clarity about where you both stand, all signs like these are just a sign to continue paying attention or to write the person off. Nothing beyond that.

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>>18557866

>>18557772
One sitting on a pile of bodies and drinking from a skull to show you're alpha af. You're overthinking this to a ludicrous degree.

Why do some women want to be "forced " into sex?
My gf loves rapeplay but it scares the fuck out of me

>>18558231
It's a fetish. Like any fetish, it's fine if you keep it in the bedroom. What you want to do is discuss specifics, plus possibly a safeword, so you don't get carried away or do something appropriate for the fantasy, but not for her.

>>18558231
It's taboo, if you are into loss of control then "rape" is the ultimate form of that, it is thrilling not just in the way that it's sexual but also because it's a plain old attack as well. This is also why women climaxing during rape isn't rare, because our bodies aren't great at telling stimuli apart and if your heart is racing and your whole body feels 200% alive because you are bathing in adrenaline, then that will heighten the sexual experience and the intensity even if you are psychologically afraid and disgusted. So by doing rapeplay she isn't just imagining being taken against her will but also what that implies: the fear and drama of it all, the moment that it all counts.

For the record someone else might have other/better stuff to add because despite understanding it intellectually, this actually does not get me off.
Also regardless of whether you understand your girlfriend or not, if it turns you off or makes you feel bad about yourself to take on the role of a rapist, then that's no less legitimate than her turn ons.

>>18558205
Sounds good. I thought she was giving some signs off so this is good. Thanks for the help.

>>18558231
She wants a pretext to press rape charges and 'it was pretend also she asked for it' is a weak-ass defense.

If a girl starts talking to me out of the blue in college (US), what are the chances she finds me attractive? It happened to me yesterday, and I found it odd because she seemed really enthusiastic and kept saying "Hello" to me when I saw her around campus even though I was terrible at reciprocating.

Lets say I am on a semi-date with a girl, and she starts to tell about her Tinder experience, how she went on some dates and so on, and how awkward guys there are. What the fuck?
How do I interpret it? Why did she say it? Does she think of me as her girlfriend, does she want to make me jealous, wants me to know she has options and dates around or what? This bugs me.

>>18558205
Is it bad if she was drunk though? Her text was a little messy but she might just suck at texting.

>>18558276
Not at all. Alcohol takes away inhibitions. Just like you are more likely to approach an ex while drunk, you are more likely to seek contact with someone on your mind for any other reason.

>>18558273
She met some awkward dorks and she wants to share that experience, maybe see if you can relate or explain. Not everything we do has an ulterior motive, just most things. And watching men overthink every tiny detail or inconsequential words is kind of amusing.

>>18558279
That's awesome man thanks.

>>18558287
No problem!

>in a happy new relationship
>see random commercial on tv
>that actress reminds me of ex gf
>suddenly memories of her o-face and how she squirts
>gets uncontrollably hard
>take a shower to clear my head
>even more sexual memories in the shower
>cum

I'm so confused right now. I'm pretty sure I'm 100% over her when I met my current gf, why do I have this relapse?
Is it possible to have strong feelings for two girls at the same time? I still love my current gf very much, it's mostly physical desire towards the ex (I think my body has been conditioned to react to her)

What does it mean when a girl says "nothing"?

To everyone but mostly guys:

>be me, 21 F
>befriend online a guy my age
>he tells me he trusts me and shares very private stuff he never told anybody
>I share back
>almost all our convos are serious
>I start trying to have more casual convos
>when they happen they are awkward and die very fast because he stops responding or acts aloof or bored
>often ignores me or acts totally indifferent
>won't interact with me for days
>suddenly messages me out of blue about something personal that happened

Why is he like that? Should I keep trying to have more normal friendship with him?

>>18558295
Personally I don't think it's weird to still get very aroused from memories of sex you had yourself. There's not just all the details (smells, noises etc) but also the emotional component - even if you have no feelings for someone, the rush of being so intimately accepted or having managed to change someone's mind and so on.

It is different to me if you have such a big physical desire that it is bothersome after an orgasm still. But suddenly remembering stuff vividly and being hot from that is nothing out of the ordinary to me. Just because you lost feelings for them and don't want to be with them doesn't mean the sex suddenly isn't hot anymore to think about.

>>18558297
Everything.

>>18558300
No, ditch him. He's using you for free emotional support, and clearly doesn't care beyond that. Or he's an awkward teenage twat, in which case also ditch him.

>>18558286
Sure, I appreciate, but if she is interested in me, why would she tell me about other men she is seeing or was seeing? It just makes no sense, I dont tell her what experiences I had with girls besides her.
It just makes me think she is not interested in me as far as sex goes, thats all.

>>18558297
Most often it is a way to deflect the question because they cannot verbalize why exactly they are upset (yet), they don't want to delve into it right then and there, and/or they are embarrassed by their emotions. (Eg a girl feels jealous by seeing you smile and talk happily to a girl she finds much more attractive than herself, but thinks she's ridiculous for being jealous over you talking to another woman and is afraid to scare you off if she's open about it.)

The easiest response is to say "okay, please tell me if something does come up". If she really doesn't want to talk about it then gently nudging her into acting normal again by treating her neutrally and acting like nothing is wrong, while simultaneously giving her a bit of space, can help her get over it.

This isn't gospel, different people can show the same reaction for a variety of reasons. But this imo is the most common cause and your best bet to cope.

>>18558297
Typical woman:
>M: Are you upset?
>W: No
>M: Very?
>W: Yes

>>18558317
Sue your brain for high treason and sabotage. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't, but if mere mention of other men (and in a negative context) is enough to make you think this, you have bigger problems.
Shit, I'm turned off already and I haven't even met you. Stop. Overthinking. Trivial. Bullshit.

Ladies, would you be offended if you were on a date with a guy and he checked out your boobs once and tried to be subtle about it? It's obvious guys get caught all the time but is it flattering if it's not done in a Pervy manner?

>>18558356
No. If he just looks, hey, neat, yes, I have nice tits, I know, proceed. If he's 'subtle' about it, there's a creepy undertone to it.

>>18558308
I second this.

>>18558356
Men look at breasts all the time. My professors, my coworkers, my male family members, my friends, strangers. I don't give a fuck unless they are actually staring. So no I absolutely would not be offended. If the date wasn't going well I wouldn't think anything at all of it. If he wanted to go out with me apparently he finds me attractive. If the date was going well and I was feeling it, it would turn me on.

>>18558308
>if you have such a big physical desire that it is bothersome after an orgasm

It's still not going away.
How do you keep yourself from cheating lol I'm gonna have to be at her sister's wedding as the best man, pretty sure if she hugs me I'd poke her with my erection

>>18558297
Literally anything.

>>18558373
It's just a matter of telling yourself no and keeping as much distance to tempting situations as you can. So if she hugs you, you bend at the hips and move your upper body forward (subtly, practice it with people if you must). Full on crotch to crotch hugs are only really done with very close friends or (ex-)lovers to begin with. An embrace is typically more fleeting.

>>18558295
I think it's quite possible to have strong feelings for two girls at once.

I have a gf who I love, but I'm crushing hard on a girl I work with. Asa human you like many things in a partner, so your current gf might hit some buttons, and your ex might hit some other ones.

With that in mind, remember that as men we also naturally want variety in partners, and that some things may appear better in hindsight.

>>18558366
>>18558369
My girlfriend, when we first met, initially thought I was into her because she "caught me looking at her tits" and read into it, and decided that she would entertain the idea of a relationship. I was totally into her already at the time, but I have no memory of looking at her boobs (she said it was cute that I tried to do it "respectfully")
This made me wonder if I do this subconsciously, and now I autistically try to look at women's faces, especially in like, pool/beach scenarios when I'm with my gf, so I know she won't catch me glancing at tits and take it the wrong way.

I realise it's not a big deal, but I really do actively try not to look at other women's boobs. I guess my only other question is, is this retarded, and should I let my guard down and try not to autisitically micromanage this? I'm pretty sure she wouldn't get too upset as she isn't really the super-jealous type, but I'd hate to piss her or another woman off by zoning out on their chest unintentionally

>>18558300
Maybe he has plenty of people to talk 'casually' with, but no one to have deeper conversation with. Don't know why he'd ignore you though, I'd just change the subject. Maybe he thinks you're not interested in deeper conversation when you talk casually?

Hard to say really, if you trust and care about him, I'd suggest bringing it up with him. Obviously just ditch him if you don't.

I was on a second date and asked her to come watch a movie at my home, she said she dont want but would like me to invite her somewhere else.
How stupid was this of a move, to invite her over before I kissed her? I touched just a lil bit.

>>18558386
It's fine if you're not creepy about it and don't zone out. Which most men adhere to by default anyway. You're good. Incidentally, I feel flattered something fierce if someone zones out on my face or eyes, so odds are I'd find you cute.

>>18558300
Some people are just very serious individuals.
I used to be that way when I was going through some family/work related shit, but as I've learned to adapt, I find light-hearted conversation much more desirable.
>it's him not you

>>18558391
Don't beat yourself up over it. Yeah, you should've kissed her first and established an intimate connection but it's really no big deal.

Also she said she wants to go in another date, so maybe she's just the type to wait a little bit. Now you know what to do next time.

>>18558391
"I don't want to fuck right now, but I'm open to the idea of fucking later."

>>18558386
I'm really sure that many men do this subconsciously, yes. But it's hard to say what extent is them not realizing that they do it, or them thinking that women literally do not notice because in everyday interactions you simply ignore catching someone looking down.

There's absolutely no need to micro-manage it, but "zoning out" on someone's chest is taking it too far. Not sure if that's just your choice of words. I am talking about just glancing down every now and then and yes, the focus should be on the face. It's just not as extreme (which some men seem to think) as a quick look down means that you're perceived as a creeper or that anything at all will be read into it. As I said it's just a part of life. And I know for a fact that with many men, whether or not they steal a glance has more to do with what they perceive as normal and are used to than with how strongly they feel about me. Even then, it happens as well that men who are so self-conscious/awkward about not wanting to creep that it is counter-productive and the pull of the cleavage becomes a much bigger deal to them. So I don't really draw any conclusions.

>>18558396
ok great.
It feels strange to say these things online, and also I'm not trying to brag here but yes, my best luck has been noticing something very specific and unique about a girl and trying to compliment them on it.
>girl has greyish blue eyes and has a small swirl in the left one that is absent in the right
>compliment her on it after I talk about how friendly she is
Boom 2 year relationship ending in a car accident.

I feel incredibly autistic right now but thank you for your advice and reassurance

>>18558399
>>18558401
Wow, really? If this is true this is actually encouraging.

>>18558391
It's not a big deal, as >>18558401 said she's essentially saying she's into you but wants to take it more slowly.

For the future, if you are looking for a relationship then yes save a "Netflix and chill" date for later.

>>18558409
Good to know.
As I mentioned before, I will do my best not to police myself on it too hard, I'd just like to avoid an awkward moment like that because I'd feel more embarrassed than anything if some cleavage reeled me in and ruined an otherwise normal moment

>>18558417
Yeah man, go get that pussy. Be physical with her, but obviously don't be too aggressive. Go for a walk, sit by the river, pull her close and hold her hand.

Why would a girl like me if there's always a better guy?

>>18558309
>>18558328
>>18558378
I am so confused

>>18558318
>"okay, please tell me if something does come up"
Tried it, still no response after 2 months

>>18558438
Why do you like a girl when there are always better girls?

>>18558438
Love is not about being the best one, but about being the right one.

I've met a lot of guy who are better than my boyfriend on paper, and some of them were interested in me - they were more handsome, richer, smarter, more successful, or whatever.
But my boyfriend is right for me. I love him with all his flaws. He complements me. Another guy might be better, but I have yet to meet someone as right or me as he is.

>>18558438
That's not how romantic interest works. If someone really likes you, they're not gonna ditch you for someone even if they're better in every way.

>>18558452
Because I'm a male and my standards are different. I'm probably more likely to think "okay this girl likes me and she's decent so I shouldn't bother looking for a better one and just be happy with what I have" if a girl ever likes me. But girls know that they can aim higher.

>>18558470
So if you don't like them and just settle for one, why should they like you? There are always better guys after all.

>>18558470
Like the other anon said, that's not how love works. It's not a matter of rationally deciding what the best option is for you. You like someone not because they are superior but because they are attractive to you and strike a chord in you. You feel like yourself with them, or they feel familiar. You see something in them that you recognize from yourself, your family. Or the other way around: you see something in them that draws you in because you never had it yourself (eg you are a very grave person and they flutter through life and are full of optimism). Basically they touch you psychologically. And once they have and you have built something together, everything you have together is sacrificed if you wish to move to someone else.

Quick example. I was very very guarded when I was younger. My ex was someone I had already known for years before we got together. I had other guys chasing me, oftentimes taller, better looking, more "successful" (whatever that means when you're twenty). But with them I couldn't help but pull my guard up and keep my distance, be defensive. Because I had a knee jerk reflex to be bitchy these guys "made me feel" like a cold and unapproachable woman. Whereas my ex was already close to me and he saw that I was vulnerable, that I had warmth and affection to give, that I really wanted love.
Once we got together we built memories together. Then when I looked at him I didn't just see a guy I was attracted to and had a soft spot for. I saw the guy who consoled me when I was crying. Who had been gracious about embarrassing things happening to me. The guy who had knew like literally no one else how to turn me on both mentally and physically. Who knew what to say to me when I was quiet and how to make me love.

At that point there was no such thing as competition. What did I care about some other guy being "better"? No other guy was better at being my lover, my partner, my best friend.

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>>18558452
For strangers, I just aim for the best I've come into contact with
After that she's my gf and has like infinite bonus point so I don't think it's humanly possible to compete with her :)

>>18558438
why are there so many trolls in those threads

>>18558300
you seem to be in a specific kind of a friendzone - you are his buffer for heavy life stuff, useless for anything else.
it's not necesserily a bad thing.

>>18558508
hot :)

>>18558508
She never does nudes...
WHY

How does a (probably) ugly guy get a gf? I'm tall if that makes a difference.

I'm so lonely anons, I'm 21 years old and never dated a girl.

>>18558626
Make up for it as much as you can in being clean, good hair, good skin, good clothes, hit the gym, be interesting and charismatic.

If it's really bad you can always get plastic surgery.

If I played spin the bottle and kissed my female friends on the lips (am girl) in middle and high school, but it was always just for fun and never romantic, does that still count as kissless? I personally don't consider them to be real kisses, even with tongue.

>>18558694
>does that still count as kissless?
yeah, pretty much.

>>18558634
I'm working on losing weight. Do girls like skinny guys, or guys who have a little bit of meat on them? Ideally I'd be /fit/ but I'm mostly focusing on losing weight at the moment.

>>18558694
IT MEANS YOU'RE A DYKE

(Not that there's anything wrong with that)

>>18558694
which lips?

I hate slags

Why are all girls slags

>>18558706
>>18558733
I've kissed guys too, which was primarily in games of spin the bottle if that makes any difference. I forgot that that needed to be specified. But I'm half-lez anyway.

>>18558765
what the fuck you just go to these games to be kissed?

>>18558765
I mean, that's up to you but I'd count that as kissless too.

>>18558768
Parties. I had a big friend group in school and we were all very comfortable with each other and it was for fun/a joke.

>>18558781
We'd do it in school too, but mostly at parties or dances.

>>18558781
>i-i-it's totally for fun-a joke!
>i'm not desperate or anything

>>18558730
Ideally you'd want to be big (naturally big, don't do steroids and become a monster), but lean (IE that they can see your abs).

Girls want a guy who is big enough to protect them and make them feel small and feminine, but obviously being fat just makes you look like a blob, and you need that masculine shape just like women need an hourglass shape.

In my experience, girls prefer guys who look like college athletes > chubby but muscular guys > ottermode (IE skinny muscular, swimmer physique, young girls really like this) > average guys > plain chubby > plain skinny > obese > anorexic


So depending on how fat you are, I'd focus on getting muscle more, even though you can cut and gain muscle at the same time. If you post a pic I can give you an opinion.

>girl texts me yesterday
>I text her back today because I was asleep
>she doesn't text me back or see it
>see her on social media
what did she mean by this

>>18558793
>chubby but muscular guys > ottermode
lol this is contrary to my experience

>>18558799

The conversation was dead. Unless you replied to her with a direct question, there was no reason for her to reply anymore. She was in a talking mood yesterday, it might not be the case today. Don't over think it, new opportunities will likely come by.

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>>18557167
HALP

Really _fun_ activities for a first date? preferably answered by wimins
I know every gurl is different blablabla just brainstorm here, I just don't want to miss this opportunity

>>18558803
Well mostly it's because otter mode guys look small with their clothes on, they really shine when the shirt comes off.

But obviously like you said it's different in different areas.

How do I get over my first long-term(ish) relationship?

>with her for 2 years
>says she loves me and may want to get together again one day, but that shes 23 now and hasnt truly lived life as a single adult yet
>salty as fuck, but fair enough
>2 weeks later we start hooking up and go on road trips
>find out only a couple days after our 2 fucking year relationship ended she fucked a literal rando on tinder, then started living with some other guy she barely knew, of course also fucking him
>get mad more because she lied to me than anything (non-provoked shed tell me she hasnt seen anyone else yet)
>she says she only lied because she wants me back and didnt wanna ruin things, apologizes
>we date for 3 days again and I see in her phone shes still texting her fuck-buddy
>call her out and she says "yea you just got so mad earlier i only did this to try to make you happy, but I want to be single"
>"Also you're way better at sex than my fuck buddy, and I think he was starting to develop real feelings for me so I needed to ghost him a bit anyways"
>disgusted
>try to take her phone to text this poor guy the truth about how hes being toyed with (he sent some REALLY sappy texts she hadnt responded to yet, and obviously didnt know she ghosted him to fuck me)
>she punches me in the gut trying to get the phone back
>fly off the fucking handle, call her a dumb whore, say her dad was right to beat her, ask her to name 3 people who love her and she can only think of 2
>fast forward a month to 2 days ago
>text her that even though things ended so badly she used to be special to me, and that Ive moved on but would appreciate getting coffee and things being left on a good note
>"no offense, but I never want to see you again"

Feels bad. I should've never texted her. Tried to be nice, but now I just feel like crap when I was so close to over it.

>>18558823
take her to see a movie, hopefully you know what she's into

I've had many good experiences with movie dates

>>18557195
Omfg die you morons

>>18558823
Guy here, but I've been manwhoring on tinder for awhile.

What does the girl like? I live by a lake so on first dates I like to rent a rowboat or a couple paddleboards, so we can get to know each other while enjoying the sun/water then grab lunch afterwards. Dinner and a nice walk is also good, especially if this is one of your first times meeting her.

I know the anon suggested it, but I think movie dates are pretty dumb. What, you meet her and say hi then sit in a dark room where you're supposed to be quiet and just stare at a screen for 2 hours. Then you leave the theater knowing just as little about one another as you did walking in. Movie dates are only nice if you two knew each other beforehand and are kinda awkward about going from friends to dating, because I guess it's low-commitment and eases you two into your new roles.

>>18558859
Completely delete her off your mind. She is dead to you, the sooner you get that through your head, the sooner you'll feel better.

>>18558881
how though dude. it's so hard

>>18558879
>I live by a lake so on first dates I like to rent a rowboat or a couple paddleboards, so we can get to know each other while enjoying the sun/water then grab lunch afterwards. Dinner and a nice walk is also good, especially if this is one of your first times meeting her.
The going out on a lake and then maybe getting lunch later is such a dream date of mine, and a walk would be almost as good, but I'm such a fucking paranoid pussy that I just meet guys at a coffee shop or something similarly bland and public. How do I get over that? I have a large, protective, outdoorsy dog, but I don't think my date would really appreciate that, plus it feeds into the delusion.

I also totally agree with you on the movie thing. Unless you're both interested in film and will critically discuss it later, it's a really poor way to get to know someone.

>>18558888
First off all accept that she'll never be a part of your life ever again, and there's nothing you can do to change that.

Second of all keep busy, don't mope, and try to meet other girls.

Third is be patient, it takes time.

What is the easiest foolproof way to get a gf? Something that if I fuck things up with the gf I get, I can just do the foolproof thing again and get another. Please be specific

>>18558879
>>18558863
I know that movie dates are dumb

rowing a boat on some lake sounds really cheesy though

>>18558863
>sit in a theater silently for hours
Could someone explain to me how movie dates work? I've never understood them.

>>18558923
they only work if you do something different entirely afterwards

>>18557313
And that's a shame

>>18558909
>accept she'll never be part of your life again
man, that's tough but yea you're right
>try to meet other girls
yea I've had sex with a couple girls off tinder and dating a third these past few weeks, but I dunno. Hasn't helped me, though maybe I'd be in a worse spot if I hadnt done those things.

>be patient
yea, just sucks I guess.

>>18558906
>paranoid pussy
so you're scared that your date will assault you? Well, can't really blame you these days, but depending how populated the area is you shouldn't be afraid of him doing anything on a nice walk by the water. Also, pepper spray. I don't think that really feeds the delusion, to be honest I assume or at least believe that every girl should carry it in their purse.

Also depending on the guy, the dog could make for a fun date. If some girl was like "hey wanna come with me while I take my great dane to the dog park/walk him around the lake" I'd be down.

>>18558918
girls love cheesy. It also helps if you seem like it's just something you do every so often, and not just to impress her.

Girls
Should I shave my beard? It doesn't really grow very long, its more of a fuzz than a full beard. I generally keep it trimmed because it makes me look older but I was thinking about getting rid of it because I don't want to look intimidating (I have visible tattoos as well).
Don't know if it helps, but I normally wear glasses too and I have a pretty normal ivy league haircut

>>18558985
Post pics. Sometimes looking a little older has its advantages. My bf has tattoos and a beard but I think he's adorable.

>tfw lack the social skills to even try dating

You people are talking about shit like going on the lake and then to lunch. I've been on a few dates and the girl gets bored within 30 minutes. At this point I'm thinking about giving up on women altogether, the "magic" just isn't there, ever. I'm not that terrible, girls seem to like me before we meet in person, but it all just goes downhill from there. I'm tired of failing over and over I don't even know what's wrong with me at this point.

>>18559001
theres nothing wrong with you, modern dating is pretty weird and honestly just isnt for everyone.

Just work on steadily getting yourself out of your comfort zone. Focus on improvement rather than disappointment.

>>18559013
I'm so tired of disappointment and rejection but I'll keep trying. I just can't imagine a woman ever being attracted to me and not just using me for something (don't have to worry about gold diggers yet though bc I'm a poor college student). What do I do to improve myself? How do you do this? I try to be fun but it doesn't work and I'm kind of a serious introverted guy anyways.

>>18559025
>what do I do to improve myself
this is going to sound so fucking corny, but the most important thing is to enjoy yourself. Confidence is everything. I used to have pretty low self-esteem but started thinking "if someone doesnt like me or what I have to say, I'll just look at them like there's something wrong with them, not me", once you start truly believing that it's really something that helps and sticks with you for the rest of your life. Don't think "I cant imagine a wman being attracted to me", just have ambition in your life and work on making yourself happy, then women will have a reason to be attracted to you.

Also, though most of them are just fucking nutjobs and legitimately hate women, pickup artists are the definition of "I'm a fucking idiot, but am so confident in every inch my body moves that women still sometimes like me for some reason". Reading up on some of that shit helped me back in high school.

>>18559061
Pickup artists all seem like losers to me. Roosh, Matt Forney and Aurini to name a few cringey ones. I think the redpill that women shouldn't be put on a pedestal and don't like/manipulate betas was vey helpful to me, it's good to be skeptical of women's intentions, but everything else they do is garbage IMO. Seems like they're Larping as Chads.

As far as being confident goes, I think that's good advice, but I'm a really awkward weird guy and I can't just be myself. I need to know how to keep a girl's interest and make her entertained. I know I shouldn't put on a facade but at the same time I need to be a little something more. Maybe I'm wrong though?

>>18558975
>so you're scared that your date will assault you?
Yeah, pretty much. I'm 5'0 or 5'1 and I weigh 100 lbs. so I can't successfully put up a fight against an able-bodied man. I've heard pepper spray and knives often make the situation worse. Don't know about guns, but they seem pretty expensive, including time and money spent at the shooting range getting comfortable with it. I only ever shot BB guns as a child. Even then, that seems like overkill.

I also live in the Kansas City metro, which is one of America's human trafficking hubs (the other is along I-5). Most victims aren't just snatched like that, but I still get fearful about it.

Good to know some guys think bringing dogs on outdoor dates are fun. Maybe I'll suggest that next time instead of shirking it like I always have.

Sorry to dump this on you. You seem like a pleasant person.

>>18558259
Knew a girl like this. She has a crush on you. Drum up a quick conversation one of these times. If you click, tell her to give you her number at the end of a conversation. Text her and tell her that she should grab lunch with you.

>>18558913
>talk to girl you know and have flirted with before
>ask her out on a date
>text her afterwards
>ask her out on another date
>????
>profit

>>18559086
For the most part most pickup shit I've is about teaching you how to talk to women, if not seductively, at least in a way that makes you appear that being around women is second-nature for you.

Don't ever buy anything a PUA is selling to you, though. All the worthwhile information is already free on blogs and stuff.

>>18559097
>living in a niggeropolis
If you're this sp00ked don't go on random dates with guys. Meet them at (insert your interests here) clubs/gatherings or join a church or something. Do you have female friends? Ask them to hook you up with a guy they know. This is how people used to date before niggertech and degeneracy and it didn't work out too bad. Not the guy you replied to btw, this is kind of a shitlost but the advice isn't bad desu

>>18559100
I dont know any girls

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How do I get and stay married to a woman who will improve my standard of living, and for whom I will do the same?

>>18557352
Before you spend money on some overpriced fleshlight, try prostitutes.

At your age it is clear you know how to get some girls into bedroom, the only problem is you dont want to.

>>18559001
http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation

>>18559153
Get a regular gf first?

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Where do i find me a shortstack like this?

>>18559216
any local primary school

>>18558300
He uses you for emotional support, very typical when a man befriends a woman.

>>18559097
>Pepper spray and knives often make the situation worse
damn, really? Like the guy can grab it out of her hands before she does anything and is then just pissed? Or it isn't strong enough? I think a friend of mine had to get the good stuff that the police use illegally, so yea I can see pepper spray obtained through conventional means being ineffective...
>Sorry to dump this on you
Don't be sorry, this is what the thread is for. I hope you find a way of going on dates without having to be afraid of being in any danger.

>>18559086
>I need to know how to keep a girl's interest and make her entertained
don't put that pressure on yourself. It's as much your job to keep her entertained as it is hers to do the same for you. I know it's hard, but just try to care less and enjoy yourself and I think you'll have better results.

I am going to the town where my LDR lives(I would be going even if it wasn't for her), and I told her I am coming. We have never met before. She didn't reply. How fucked am I? I'd rather get a "I don't want to meet you" than no answer. Advice?

>>18559528
You are not in a relationship

so, girls, what if a guy wears colorful clothes?

>>18559935
He's colorful

>>18559935
He'll remind me of Andy from The Office

Stupid question that doesn't deserve its own thread:
>watch YouTube videos of people playing PUBG
>enjoy it a lot
>hesitatingly buy it at full price
>get killed by the force field and all other ridiculous ways (the force field didn't look that fast)
I have played it for 2 hours and I still don't know if I'll enjoy it that much to justify the full price.
Refund or keep playing?

Girls, would you tell a guy he's boyfriend material if you're just going to reject him?

I've known her for months and been dating her for weeks, and she tells me that and how I'm perfect for her, but she just doesn't know what to do about 'us'. I tell her I want 'us' to become a thing after all this time, but she doesn't feel like she can dive in with 100% certainty because she's troubled about something she can't really explain. On top of that, she just doesn't feel that spark that marks a loving relationship and doesn't know if it will come later. However, she insisted that she wanted more time to think about it as that issue messes with her train of thought at the moment and she doesn't want to make a choice she regrets. She gave me a choice myself: take a step back for a month and give her that chance to make up her mind about me, or decide that she's had long enough and take the loss.
Not what I wanted to hear, but she says she's thinking about it I guess. Giving the context I added, does this sound like it will lead anywhere? Does it usually?

>>18560039
Maybe, to try to make it less painful

>>18560017
This is possibly one of the least fitting questions I've ever seen for this thread.

For people in a relationship
What sex acts (regular sex, oral, anal, etc) are usual and happen regularly in your relationship? Do you miss anything?

I'm probably overthinking this but i have the idea that the current girl i'm dating would never do anything without me initiating it(kissing etc). She does things like holding my hand and stuff.

This was our first official date i did party with her last week. She agreed to go on a date next week.

I'm just confused because the last girl i was with could not stop touching me. So girls will you always wait before the man initiates? I had the idea that i could be on the couch with her without anything happening at all but cuddling.

>>18560130
oh yeah i have to add she does kiss back

>>18560130
I've been in a relationship for over 6 years now, and I could count the number of times I've initiated on one hand. Even if I am nearly overwhelmed with horniness, I wait.

>>18560137
It just makes me feel insecure, before she said yes to the second date i was even having doubts. Unjust doubts. But the overthinker in me causes this

>>18560017
You jumped in too late. All the existing players are ridiculously good and the barriers to entry are now high. Should have bought it back when it first came into the spotlight so you could be on par with the other players.

>>18560139
There's lots of possible explanations for why she's not initiating. I'm not going to project my emotions onto her and assume one is the likely culprit. Is it possible that she's holding off because she isn't into you? Yes. But there's plenty of other reasons she doesn't initiate, even if the sexual desire is very much there.

>>18560120
single now, but just got out of a long relationship
>sex acts
everything. The only sexual acts I can think of that we didnt do would be ones that involved other people, and anal just because I don't like anal she was fine with the idea. We were very open with our sexual needs/wants as well as trying new things, it was an important part why we were happy for so long before splitting up.
>Do you miss anything
Shes really hot so men throughout her life have felt privileged to fuck her, which resulted in her being lazy or even pretty bad at sex. Now that I'm single and hooking up with other women I'm realizing how bad she was at things like oral or general foreplay in comparison.

It's always important to both keep an open mind, and be enthusiastic about having sex with your partner.

>>18560158
I guess i will stop overthinking and just enjoy

>>18560137
i pity your boyfriend

>>18560164
Trust me dude, I have no idea why he's with me over literally anyone else

I sperged with this girl. She's a bit anti-social so I need to insist a lot to hang out with her -- but when we do it's amazing and she's always laughing and hugging. I asked her out on weekend but she didn't respond to my texts so I just basically told her she should just say if she likes me or not. She freaked out, told her it's not about me and she's having something personal and so on and so forth. I insisted again and told her I like her and need to know if she feels the same. She said she couldn't answer that because that's not how "she works".

Is she just unsure and obviously avoiding because I'm pushing too much or she just doesn't know how to dump me?

>>18560177
"[...] She freaked out, told me** [...]"

>>18560168
have you thought about maybe trying to get it together and make your man feel wanted?

Ladies

Do breasts get bigger when you're on birth control?

I've been seeing an old friend from high school post more and more outfits on social media that show off her breasts and cleavage. I know for a fact they weren't that big in high school.
Another friend suggested it was birth control, which would make sense because she's been with her bf for a long while now.
But then I also read that women don't stop developing until around 27, and we're about a year or two past that.

>>18560196
Mine didn't. Why do you care about an exclassmate's tits though.

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Sorry to be the epitome of the "I want what I can't have meme". But yeah. Here I am and I need a second opinion on this.

The other college guys that have shown interest in me just aren't even anywhere near my taste--personality included. I usually feel like they can't be too much like me (aside from interests. I'd hope he'd be into creative stuff and gaming too). So, that means higher energy and more expressive.

I've liked two guys over the past year...
>short Asian dude, talks a lot but extremely clever and into the same obscure nerdy shit I am
>kind of socially awkward (he even said that girls that got to know him never like him) but cute/baby-faced blonde into writing and the same games I am, I really liked talking to him about passion and shit like that

It's stupid but I feel like these are just the type of guys that I can't have. Creative, bright, high energy dudes. And...the guys interested in me weren't anything like them and overly tame. Successful sometimes, sure, but that's not really the main thing I'm into. Fuck. They weren't nerds. Or, were often older in their late 20s, which is a big no-no for me, I've never been attracted to an older man (Yeah, fight me). I dunno if I should just throw in the towel or something. I'm already considering just rooming with my friends for the rest of my life.

>>18560202
>forgetting where you are

Thanks Femanon

>>18560193
I have thought about it. It's been hard fighting years of unhealthy beliefs and working through that emotional baggage, but I've been working on it

>>18560196
I had breasts that seemed too small for even AA bras. I started birth control when I was 17. I am now a C cup. However, correlation doesn't mean causation

>>18560204
Is there a question here?

If you like a guy then ask him out. Socially awkward dudes with bad experiences in not having their feelings reciprocated probably spend all their spare energy keeping themselves from dissecting every interaction with you so that they don't fall in love with you and get hurt again.

I'll throw a curveball here

Me and my gf have two girls to go out with starting tomorrow.

We went out with J once and there was mutual interest, but she's new to this kind of thing (never did couples or even a woman). We're going out tomorrow and she seems cool with us, but there's no telling what could happen after it. She lives in the same city we do.

F on the other hand, is a girl we had a fling with. We all had sex and really enjoyed each other, but she kinda cut us a few months back because she's afraid of a ldr threeway relationship, since she lives like 400km away (can't blame her). Thing is, she's coming here on friday and wants to see us.

Wat. Fuckin. Do.?

We like both girls, and I wouldn't want one to know of the other since it'd make us look like total whores (which we're not, I swear). J is a sweetheart and kinda innocent in a way, and we could get something with her in the long run. On the other hand, we have history with F, and sure would like to have something with her again, but I kinda feel like giving her priority after she cut us off is a bit lame.

My options so far:
a) lie to F that we are unavailable this weekend, try again on the next if she stays around
b) lie to both, try something with J until friday, then try something with F after that
c) be cristal clear with both, go all in for a foursome, probably fail and lose both, but if I succeed my name will be carved in stone for history

How do I meet girls who want to be fwb instead of my gf?

Have never used Tinder before but I assume that's the best way probably. Still though, how do you ask?

>>18560523
Ask the girl what she's looking for. If she asks, tell her you're looking for something more casual/not looking for anything serious

>>18560534
I'm not that attractive btw. I'm tall, have a fit body (not super muscular but well-built) and skinny. Basically otter mode. But my face isn't incredibly attractive, maybe a 6/10.

Is it still possible to be fwb with a girl, or do they only go for the 10/10s?

Alright. greentext time /adv/:
>Text a girl on and off for ~2 years, I am quite literally in a love at first sight situation that I can't explain with her
>Keep getting cucked out of making moves, whatever
>Browse /fit/ and become a little bit more built to go along with my 10/10 personality
>She asks ME on a date...holy shit boys we made it!
>Date goes great, subsequent dates follow
>Ask her to be my gf, she of course says yes
>haven't done anything 1 on 1 since that day, 10 days ago, did hold hands on a walk at a party though
>Always says she is busy (usually actually is), but hardly responds to my texts
Is she trying to make be break up with her or something? Is he trying to send me signals? Or am I just overthinking this...For example, I texted her great yesterday, then send a simple hey like 12 hours ago with no response. Sorry if this is autistic, but I should get some sort of sympathy- literally have loved her since I first laid eyes on her, so I just get nervous about possibly having fucked up. Also, I know that she has to be seeing when I want to talk, b/c I'll see her like a post on IG or see her snaps or something.

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Do you bitches like it when men suck on your toes?

>>18560196
My breasts grew a bit after high school. My hips did too. So it's not necessarily because of birth control

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Is he attractive?

this woman on the train today was watching anime OPs and singing along to them. It was kind of terrifying, actually.

>>18560620

sup enrique

How do I find things to like about myself?

>>18560648
What is so bad about you? Why do you feel you do not measure up? What standards are you holding yourself to?

>>18560653
Well I'm fat, and I used to not be fat, but that was because I was fat before being skinny but then when I was skinny I still wasn't attractive and then I was forced to live at home for a year and even though I tried to avoid overeating after a while I just gave in. And now I'm still just unattractive and I don't have a job, and I hate school and everything is fucking awful.

My therapist tells me I'm supposed to like myself just because I managed to get through some classes in a fake degree and had to live through some familial shit but none of that shit matters to other people. My friends tell me I'm a good person but I'd rather be an evil fucking scumbag if it meant I got laid once in a while.

>>18560273
GAMBLE FOR THE GAMBLE GOD

>>18560660
Why do you feel you aren't attractive? Why do you feel you need to be skinny, have a job, and have your own house in order to be acceptable? Why do you feel your degree is fake? Why is it that living through some familial shit doesn't matter? Why do you feel getting laid is so important?

>>18560676
I need a job because I need money to live and get the things I want.
My degree is fake because it's the degree that they give to you when you're too stupid for math in computer science.
Living through familial shit doesn't matter because it doesn't get me a job or laid.
And I want to get laid because I'm a straight heterosexual male who wants to know what a pussy feels like just like any other normal human male.

>>18560676
>Why do you feel you need to be skinny, have a job, and have your own house in order to be acceptable?
This

I have all those things and am still accepted by no one. I don't understand, but maybe I'm not meant to. I live alone, as to not bother other people.

I go to the normiest school you can imagine, but I am very not normie
I play grand strategy games, never watch TV or movies, my hobbies include creating and also learning languages, creating tabletops, and 4chan & utube, and airsoft
That being said, I'm not a very sorry person. I have plenty of friends, and I am legit never a dick to anyone; people have no reason to hate me. I'm not a sperg either.
However, I literally team liquid (choke) upon trying to communicate to people I have a crush on that I'm attracted to them. It's a curse to be this autistic when it comes to romance, it's the one thing I've never been able to mature (kissless virgin, never even had a girlfriend/boyfriend)
Femanons, how the fuck can I find women who have similar interests (at least gaming) that I can connect with in normie paradise, and how do i stop being a faggot and communicate my feelings?

>>18560720
I also enjoy history, philosophy, and ethnic cultures in general

>>18560689
What do you think it would take in order for you to like yourself?

>>18560736
If I knew I wouldn't be drinking heavily.

>>18560736
Results.

Is the meet women at church thing a meme

>>18560740
What do you mean by results?

>>18560739
Do you think you would like yourself if you had a job and got laid?

>>18560761
Probably. I was pretty decently happy with my life when I still had my car and job. The only thing missing was having a girlfriend.

>>18560767
It seems like your sense of self-worth may be tied to external things. When you have a job and car, you're happy. Where did you learn to link your happiness and self-esteem to these things?

>>18560779
I don't know where I learned it but I do know that for once I felt like an adult and like I was independent.

>>18560784
Did you feel like you had power and control over your life then? Do you feel that way now?

>>18560791
I had money and the ability to go where I pleased.
Now I barely have any money and can barely go anywhere.,

>>18557167
A guy asked me out today and I told him "no," but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn't he try again?

>>18560794
Where did you learn that money is the only way to have power and control over your life?

>>18560804
Life.

>>18560807
Can you be more specific?

>>18560796
Is this bait? Why would he try harder if you rejected him? You should have been vague instead of rejecting him if you absolutely needed to play these stupid games.

>>18560812
It's pretty clear to see. Money allows you to go where you want, buy what you want, and people respect you more.

>>18560815
You can still have power and control in your life regardless of external factors like money and other people's opinions

>>18560796
kys

>>18560761
I need to see my efforts create the desired change in my life. I need to see success.

>>18560830
You say that but that's a fairly idealistic way of looking at life.

>>18560853
What do you define as success? How have your previous efforts not measured up?

>>18560857
I'm still poor, I'm still in debt, I'm still in an entry level position, my truck isn't repaired yet, I'm still renting, I'm still overweight and I've still never been on a date in my life. I'm 25.

>>18560855
I would say that it's an emotionally healthy way of looking at life. An emotionally healthy person sees themselves at intrinsically valuable. They are valuable, worthy, and likable whether or not they have money, or a job, or a car, or a certain degree, or a girlfriend. They do not define their self worth by external things; it comes from within. If you are still going to therapy, which I think is a great idea (and a very strong, admirable decision, many people are not strong enough to recognize that they need help or ask for it), I would try talking to them about trying to sever the link between your money and your self-esteem

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Should I tell him?

>Have two friends
>They started dating
>Still be great friends with them both
>After a year they have a huge fight
>They end up breaking up pretty hard
>Lots of fighting and screaming
>One week later I find something out
>She's already dating someone new
>It's one of HIS (her ex's) best friends
>Found out they're keeping it a secret
>Ask her why date one of his best friend's and so soon
>"He's a nice guy and was there for me after the breakup"


It's SOOOOOOOOOOO fucked up, I REALLY feel like he should know but at the same time it would cause a lot of shit and I don't really want anything to do with it

Should I stay out of it? Or let him know, or what?

>>18560862
All you can ask for from yourself is to do your best. If you are doing the best you can in your current situation, you literally can't do anymore. You're making this journey step by step, and it's okay that you aren't there yet. It's a constant process of trying and growing, and it's pointless to worry about how you aren't further along the path because you're doing all you can. All you can control are your own efforts. Everything else is outside of your control and pointless to worry about, much less base your self esteem on

>>18560867
nah dog, it's all trash anyways. he needs to find a new girl, one that cares enough not to get with his friend the day after the break up

>>18560862
https://youtu.be/YVJQSnmeGzI

funny i was just listening to this.

>>18560877
So just stay out of it? I still talk to them both, and have been friends with them both for a long time

When I talk to her, I can't help but scream in my head "YOU FUCKING FUCKED UP BITCH THAT'S HIS BEST FRIEND YOU'RE FUCKING WITH"

And when I'm talking to him I'm thinking "YOUR EX IS FUCKING YOUR BEST FRIEND"

So what the fuck do I do?

>>18560874
I'm getting old fast, anon. Time is the one thing I have and it's getting spent as quickly as my money. In another blink of an eye, I'll be 30. If things stay moving the way they're moving I'll just be a little less poor, maybe have a trailer, move up one position and still be single. I'll have gone from a burned-out college dropout to run of the mill white trash. How am I gonna find a wife like this?

Men:
If you're in your late 20s, would you date a 20-going-on-21 girl if she was cute and interesting?
Guy I'm after is 27.

>>18560895
Why do you feel you have to be at a certain place in your life when you're 30? Why do you feel you won't find love unless you achieve certain things?

>>18560905
Because if I'm not the man my future wife would want, then she won't marry me.

>>18560907
Would you want your future wife to be with you because of your job or house, or because of who you are as a person?

>>18560914
Those things are a reflection of who you are. Your work ethic, dedication, ambition, all have a direct impact on your wealth and lifestyle. Mine says that I'm a cheap, lazy quitter that never bothered to live his life correctly.

>>18560904
>cute and interesting

Well that's all I really want in a girlfriend, so yea. It's tough though, the age gap can sometimes really make things that seem interesting/important to one person pretty stupid to the other. Also I personally wouldnt mind dating someone under 21 because I dont drink much anyways, but some of my friends say not being able to take their girl to a bar/club is a deal breaker.

>>18560919
I don't think you are your job or your house. I don't think happiness requires money, and I don't think poor people are lazy or inferior. There is no way to live life "correctly". Comparing your growth and journey to other people isn't a good idea because those people aren't you. They haven't dealt with your struggles. Why base your life on theirs? And why be with a person who assesses others in that way? I would want my partner to see who I am when you strip away all the external stuff

>>18560904
Yes.

>>18560925
That's the problem. I haven't had any struggles to "deal with". The hardest things I've ever done were quit weed and watch my mom die. I had every opportunity to be successful, go to college, get a decent job and carry on as my family has for generations. My cousin went to medical school, became an ER nurse and married some hotshot surgeon who seems to be a 100% solid, all around excellent guy. My uncle and grandfather are insurance tycoons. My father was a tech wizard. I stack boxes and play videogames alone in an apartment. Why would someone want to raise children with a man who blows that kind of a head start?

>>18560904

I don't see anything wrong with a 6 year difference. I'm in the same boat.

>>18560950
You may not feel you had any struggles to deal with, but you did. Losing is a parent is fucking awful, but I couldn't even imagine what it was like to watch it happen. Quitting weed is hard. You struggle with your weight. You struggle with demons from the past, likely an imperfect childhood that left some scars (pretty much every normal person on the planet). Your cousin, uncle, grandfather, and father are not you. They have not endured your struggles, and they have their own shit to deal with. You do not have to go to college, get a job, and "carry on" to be a good, worthy human being. You are good and worthy because you are you. Someone would want to raise children with you because they know you didn't blow anything. We're all just making our way through life.

My sister is a lawyer who has traveled around the world. I will never make anywhere near as much money as her. I don't want to. I also would never, ever consider switching lives with her. I know some of her demons, and I would never want to be her. All I can be is me, and that's all I want to be.

girls do you prefer guy to be trimmed, shave or whatever?

>>18560864
But most people who think like that don't really have the problems that a person like me does.

>>18560997
Trimmed is best IMO. Otherwise it gets in your mouth. And shaved looks weird.

>>18561016
How do you know that?

>>18561022
Because most people have at least some reinforcement to know that things will get better.

>>18561026
How do you know they have some reinforcement?

I know you said most people, and I am just one person, but I don't have money, and I will never have a significant amount of money. I don't have a job despite having a college degree and sending over 60 applications in June. I don't have the money to afford a house, and I don't know when I will, but until then I'm living with my mom. My sister is a lawyer, making six figures despite being only a year older than me. She has a nice house, nice car, and she travels the world. She has always been in better shape than me. She has always been smarter than me.

I am good and worthy. I have power and control over my life. I am doing the best I can with the life I have, and that's going to be different for every person. My best is going to be different because I have different struggles, even from my sister who is practically the same age and has the same exact college degree as me. And that's okay! There's no one right way to be. There's no one right way to define success. I am a good, likable person despite how I fare in the career world. I've fought through my depression, and it's an uphill battle some days, but I can see the good in myself despite the fact that I do not adhere to society's strict definition of what success and happiness is.

Girls, how do you tell if someone is inexperienced in bed?
What does being a bad kisser entail?

I see both of these getting thrown around and I've never understood what it really means. Both things seem pretty natural.

>>18561048
I find it difficult to be happy with myself when other people aren't happy with me. And the things I want require a job, girlfriend, whatever. I need a girlfriend to have sex. In order to get the things I want I need money. So on and so forth.

>>18561053
>I find it difficult to be happy with myself when other people aren't happy with me.
Why do you think this is? This would also be a great thing to tell your therapist. They can help you challenge your beliefs that you need to adhere to other people's standards and expectations.

What are the things you want? And why do you want them?

>>18561062
Monetarily, I want a new office chair and enough money to always be able to go out to eat.
Otherwise, I want a girl to have sex with and cuddle an preferentially spend my life with.

>>18561066
Do you feel money and sex will make you happy?

>>18561071
Probably, it's the goals I want to achieve after all.

>>18561074
Do you think those things will make other people happy with you?

>>18561078
Maybe? How should I know?

>>18561082
I was just curious if your need to impress others is linked to your need to have money.

From my perspective, you see success as having money and having a girlfriend. The job doesn't matter, just having money does. I also think it's interesting that you regularly phrased the girl aspect as "having" and putting more emphasis on sex. I think you learned this strict idea of success from your parents. Generation after generation following the same path, and now you can't seem to "carry on" like they were able to. No wonder you're stressed out! That's probably also why it's difficult for you to feel happy when other people aren't happy with you. I wonder if maybe you think your parents/family is disappointed in you. Maybe they told you because you didn't meet their specific standards.

Placing your worth on external things is an unhealthy way to determine self esteem, because you can lose those things. Those things aren't you. You can have two good people, and one has money and the other is homeless, and they are equally good people. Having a good work ethic doesn't guarantee that you'll make money or have a great job or girlfriend. How you do in your career doesn't reflect on who you are as a person.

You think you need money and a girlfriend to be happy. You think you have to meet your goals, have your things, and then you'll earn your happiness. Happiness doesn't work that way. You have the power to make happiness regardless of your situation. One of the ways to do that is to not limit yourself to one idea of a successful life. You don't have to match your cousin, your uncle, or your father's lives. You are not them. Your life is yours to do with as you please. I want to live a life I chose, not one that was chosen for me by my family, or anyone else. It's not going to be a perfect life, but there's no such thing. All I can do is do the best I can with what I've got--and that includes all of my struggles and flaws that make certain things harder for me.

>>18560177
bumping this. pretty much in the exact same situation. what's the correct way to proceed here?

Girls do you mind kisses after going down on you? I never gave it much thought but I read the other day how icky some people find it to kiss after oral

>>18561249
I'd find it hot.

Guys, why would you go back to an ex that broke your heart, tried to ruin your life, and calls you fat and ugly?

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>>18561270
For closure.

>>18561270
Low self esteem generally.

Never dealt with that shit specifically but I did humor a lot of shenanigans from an ex because I felt it was the best I would get.

>>18561270
Because I couldn't get any other bitches and being alone sucks.

>>18557805
>Girls is it worse to have your period on a hot or cold day?
Hot.

>>18558356
>Ladies, would you be offended if you were on a date with a guy and he checked out your boobs once and tried to be subtle about it?
I wouldn't say I'm offended, but I'm not flattered. It's basically business as usual and "gods, I wish they'd actually care about what I'm saying and who I am for once".

I geniunely dont know if I want to be just really good friends with a girl, or if there is something more to it and I suspect she has the same dilemma. So what to do, how to decide?
We have really high quality time together.

>>18561274
Of the four things on the list in that image, the trait being imagined would, in physical reality, be incompatible with the necessary traits of the thing. With a purely abstract concept, imagining that it can be imagined is no different than imagining it. An infinite set is not only possible, but necessary. Any mathematical claims against it are only allowable by unjustifiable and unprovable axioms. Even a self-contradicting set is conceptually possible. Conceptually, most everything is possible. The struggle is in demonstrating what's physically real. Suggesting that something is possible doesn't really matter unless you can somehow prove that the possibility of something proves its physical existence, which you're going to have a very difficult time doing.