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I need advice: what the fuck do I do? I seriously struggle with depression but medication is not an option. I planned to go into the air Force to pay for college but now I'm thinking of air Force ROTC because it's the same time commitment and pay is better and you get school out of the way before you forget everything. Problem is idk what the fuck I want to do. I'm in really good shape and I'm reasonably smart with high test scores and a low gpa. I'm going into my senior year. I thought I wanted to be an engineer but I have no idea wtf I want to do. Most of the time I'm just depressed, unless I'm around people. When I'm with friends I'm mostly good but idk can someone give me pointers on a life path? A career? Pros and cons of suicide?
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>>18556756
Oh yeah, a little more about me: I'm a white male with a girlfriend who runs competitively. It's actually my first year doing a fall sport. I also have the motorcycle pictured. Sometimes I ride really reckless in triple digit speeds bc I don't really give a fuck about life half the time. My gf wants a career as a doctor to save people. God damnit I donate blood and try to be a good guy how can I match that though?
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>>18556756
Have you been diagnosed by a doctor with depression? It's hard to get into the Air Force if you have something like that on your record.
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>>18556766
No I haven't and that's why it's not an option
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>>18556767
And only close friends and gf know about how fucked up I really am. I'm pretty good at masking that shit so my family has no idea
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