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complete asshole
things are looking up? 2017-07-25 08:17:36 Post No. 18554101
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things are looking up? 2017-07-25 08:17:36 Post No. 18554101
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So, I've been kind of a loner for the last 2 years.
I've always been stressed out about my looks, since I was pretty young. The thought was always looming in the back of my head. Whenever the word ugly was said around me people would get quiet like oh no we said ugly around him that's not nice. My little sister called me ugly all the time but I mean I guess that's just little sister stuff. Didn't help when my better than me at everything brother came home from boot camp, and came up next to me and just said "hey bro, I'm sorry your ugly" like it was so sincere he couldn't even have been trying to be mean I was so angry I just told him to fuck off and haven't really talked to him since.
After high school, or really around 18 (I got my ged at 16 because I couldn't take it anymore), I sort of broke away from my friends because I got really depressed about my looks and just wanted to be alone. I couldn't even listen to music for a long time, I related everything to human experiences that I wasn't having. I had a job, sorta, for a friend of my dad's doing maintenance for a college for about 1 1/2 years, some of that time before I got all depressed and they let me not show up for weeks at a time during this period. One of my co-workers was this 30 year old guy who was always trying to be my best friend, said I reminded him of himself when he was young. He was really encouraging and kind of my first role model, everybody loved him. But eventually I broke away from him too, idk why really, at this point in my life I had a lot of trouble with relationships. I left that job and tried to kill myself, have a scar going up my wrist. After 2 months I got a job at a grocery store. then UPS. and then depression again...
Then about 5 months I started 2 jobs, one door to door sales, the other as an apartment maintenance guy on the weekends. I figured I may as well work 7 days a week since I don't hang out with anyone, and maybe I could build some people skills talking to all (cont)
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>>18554101
How ugly can you possibly be then? I've seen plenty of genuinely ugly people and I still find it hard to fathom that someone is this ugly that people can't stop being assholes about it.
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>>18554101
those people. And I'm actually kind of good at it. It's boosted my confidence a bit, but I still had my dark thoughts. Anyway a little while ago this fat chick joined the sales team and she was hitting on me so I banged her 3 times before I got grossed out. not a very proud way to lose your virginity. but she told me I was cute, I didn't even ask, I'm not a bitch. and after the third night she was saying she loved me and asked if I ever see myself in a relationship with her. The whole situation got me thinking maybe I should value myself more.
And so lately I've been more confident, relaxed, happy, and women are being a lot nicer to me. The hot moms at the door want to stay and talk longer, I make eye contact and sometimes smiles that aren't uncomfortable with women everywhere. actually I was at the dmv and I asked this beautiful girl if my number had been called (i went out to smoke) and she said yeah and when I came back from getting a new number she was sitting right next to where I had been. I looked at her briefly on my way back but she looked at me more confidently so I looked away but I think she smiled. I wonder if she wanted me to talk to her. oh and this one occasion where a hot chick initiated a conversation with me in an elevator. This might sound normal to you but to me it's all really curious behavior.
So maybe I'm more attractive than I previously thought, or I read way too much into things. But I still have this loner mentality. I want people but I can't get attached to people. and everything I say is hella fake, like I just say the right things. I used to be pretty funny and clever, but it feels like that was a long time ago. I'm basically scared to talk to girls I think are good looking, and especially scared that I'm going to be judged for being a loser with no friends, even if I have opinions and shit and am pretty normal.
I will post pic if anybody cares.
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>>18554145
Yeah, sure. Let's see it
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>>18554149
let me see if a few more people are interested so i know i'm actually gonna get some advice
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Post pics. I'm sure i know uglier guys than you.
It's an objective truth that some people are ugly, looking like they fell from the ugly-tree, hitting every branch on the way down, and landed face first. But no amount of ugliness warrants people always being assholes about it. I don't say that from a moral standpoint, but from the basis that i cannot understand that it's possible to persist on being an asshole to someone because of their looks. Assholery takes effort and energy, and isn't wasted on something as trivial as looks.
Post pics, and prove me right.
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>>18554101
bumping once
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>>18554101
Post pic. Also where you from?
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