Being alone

Hey why not you can always buy a fleshlight and live however you want

>>18553081

>fleshlight

Is that even worth the money?

Relationships take a lot of work and one of the worst things you can do is rush into one. I haven't dated in six years, it's been liberating and nice. Single-ness is not the end of everything. Enjoy the time you have.

>>18553091
Listen, sex is nice. It is. However, it's not the most important thing in life. If you need it, go get a one night stand. Be you and don't worry about it.

>>18553091
I own 3 yes

>>18553055

I pretty much agree. Compromising just to have "someone" is an awful idea outside of trying to have a caretaker when you can't handle your own shit. I'd rather swallow a bullet.

But in rare cases, you can meet someone special, so don't give up.

>>18553103

I've gone through a lot of hard ships when I was younger. But I'm actually just starting to enjoy things.

>>18553107

I don't believe in ONS Tbh. I did it once before 6 years ago and it was a mistake. I regret it

>>18553121

>don't give up

I'm not exactly "giving up". I'm just not even going to start I guess.

>>18553132
Wow. I'm pretty similar to you. Hate ONS as well and it's really hard to find someone good. I'd want to but I feel like 99.99% of women wouldn't want to be with a jobless guy who loves to game/nerd stuff and doesn't have any much friends.

>>18553283

ironically, I have a lot of good things going for me, and girls do show interest in me. But it just doesn't feel right to me. So I just intentionally friendzone girls. I'm 27 and never had a girlfriend before. I have had 2 ONS many years ago, but I really regret doing them. It was bad.

I just think I'm probably better off doing life alone. I see how other peoples relationships are, and I just don't think I could do that shit. I don't really plan on getting married anyways

>>18553292
I assume you don't want kids either. If you're happy alone then why not?

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>>18553292
>I'm 27 and never had a girlfriend before

I'm 26 and in the same exact boat as you. Never even held hands with a women other than a handshake.

At times the loneliness is unbearable, yet I also feel a strong desire to find solace in solitude. It's a never ending battle within me to find intimate companionship, but to also spend time alone doing what I enjoy most.

I have some friends but I often just enjoy my own company. I talk to myself a lot when i'm alone, sometimes for hours just letting all my thoughts come out verbally and it feels really good... especially if i'm smoking cannabis.

>>18553305

Yeah I know for sure that I absolutely do not want kids

>>18553312

Oh yeah man, I talk to myself anytime I'm alone. But it's more of I'm just speaking my thoughts outloud

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I dunno man. You sound a lot like me only a year ago. Content to just browse 4chan and play video games. No nagging girlfriend, no obligations of any kind. I can say I was genuinely happy living like that and I often considered that I might've been better off on my own.

But I met a girl recently on the ol Tinder. And despite all my misgivings about being in a committed relationship, I have to say that I don't think I'd ever go back to living the way I was. I slowly grew to love her and now I can enjoy my solitary activities with somebody and giving up some of my own free alone time doesn't even bother me in the slightest.

Anyways man, I think you should try finding the right girl when you are ready. It'll more than likely be one of the best decisions you ever make.

>>18553447

>Content to just browse 4chan and play video games. No nagging girlfriend, no obligations of any kind. I can say I was genuinely happy living like that and I often considered that I might've been better off on my own.
>met girl from Tinder

Why were you on Tinder if you were completely content with this you were living?

>>18553339
Yeah, I talk to myself a lot too. I've thought about it a lot, and I think I do it because I don't get the chance to talk much to other people during the day. Even while I'm posting stuff online or writing essays for class, I read everything out loud, just to help process what I'm doing. Idk. It's nice to be able to do that in solitude so that I don't have to worry about people looking at me like a schizophrenic

>>18553055
Just try it and see how that goes.

If you end up liking it then you can live in seclusion and happiness forever if you don't then you can know that you've tried it and don't like it and you can rid yourself of that unsure part of your life and move on.

>>18553485
sexting/ nudes/ cheap thrills to get my rocks off really.

>>18553496

I hear you. I do that all the time

>>18553498

>just try it

I don't know if that's a good idea..

>>18553508

Oh. I guess that makes sense. But I don't do any of that

>>18553525
That's fine. I'm just trying to say that circumstances may arise in life when you have the opportunity to get close with a girl. And when that happens, don't shy away from it because you think that you might not be who you are or that it might not be in your best interests.

Despite popular belief, the vast majority of humans need companionship of some kind. We're a social creature and not satiating the instinct to be a part of something (friend group, relationship) can lead to a lot of unhappiness later in life.

Even if the relationship goes sour, and if you're not stupid, you can just walk way from it with more confidence and experience for the future.

>>18553549

I have friends. But I just think getting a girlfriend would be more harmful than beneficial

>>18553563
Why do you think that?

>>18553055
You mean single and not married? Yeah no rush to it, esp. when you see how clingy some ppl can be (txing you 15 times in a row while at work despite you just having met the person last week).

Alone like in total isolation? No I am a ppl person

>>18553570

A girl used me emotionally in the past. Plus, I've just seen people turn into a mess after they got dumped by someone who they really cared about. Why should I even go through that

>>18553597
Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, friendo. That's why.

>>18553108
is it any better than just jacking off tho

>>18553597
Because as corny as it sounds, it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. You either live life on a mediocre emotional level that doesn't really improve or get any worse, or you can risk possible heart ache for the chance to stretch your wings and ride the wonderful high that is love. There is absolutely emotional risk involved but in my opinion, it's well worth it.

However if you have some sort of disorder or condition that would make a possible break up destroy your life, you may want to get that sorted out before you enter the dating scene. Don't let one emotionally abusive bitch ruin your future, man.

>>18553617
>>18553626

That literally just sounds like a meme that got started way long ago..


That's like saying "it's better to have swam and gotten fucked up by a shark than to never have swam at all"

>>18553055

I have plenty of friends and I've had sex with nearly 20 women, but every time I meet a girl who wants something long term I put her off until it's too late.

Sometimes I think I'm just not meant to settle down because there's something inside of me that says I'm not ready. But if not now, I doubt I'll ever be.

>>18553655

How old are you

>>18553091
get an onahole instead you plebian

>>18553660

25 my man.

>>18553623
Yeah with Lube of course

>>18553667

just 5 years until 30

Do you keep thinking you're going to have casual sex and ONS in the foreseeable future?

>>18553626

In the immortal words of K:

"Try it."

>>18553649
memes are for manchildren and love is for people willing to be lose something to gain something even greater

>>18553055
I thought that. In the last 8 years, I had one friend for about 2 of them.

It was fine for awhile. In the end, I've sort of come to regret it though, because I have absolutely no social skills. It kinda sucks, because I'm not bad looking and occasionally get women being more than a bit friendly, but that is just completely beyond me now.

Point is, make damn sure its what you want.

>>18553055

I agree

If I got a girlfriend I'd have to change my lifestyle. I don't celebrate any holidays or birthdays. I don't see the point of them. But, if I got a girlfriend, surely she'd want to celebrate that shit with me. So, I'd be forced into it

>>18553731

That doesn't sound real

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>>18553055
If you have complete peace with your reasoning, I think it's suitable for you. Complete is the key word here, because you don't want it to backfire when you're >50 years old and start regretting those decisions when changing things are getting extremely difficult.

I've shared your way of thinking for years now, but also came to a conclusion to at least try serious relationship at some point of life (I'm 25 with only one relationship experience that lasted 3 months). Just want to get a damn job and finish my thesis first.

>>18554714

>>50 years old and start regretting those decisions when changing things are getting extremely difficult.

Well I'm 27 years old. So, if I live this way for the next 23 years, why would my mind change in my 50s?

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>>18554730
This is just my theory, but witnessing a vast majority of people with same age being settled down might put that reasoning into a serious test, >50 being at the latest point. I personally fear that I would get plagued with enormous regret at that point, giving me impression that because of my mindset I've missed something huge. I never tried something that could've been extremely fun ride, despite all of it's backdraws.

>>18554780

Most of my friends are married or will be getting married soon Tbh. Some are already talking about having kids.

The thing is, I have 0 desire for kids. and marriage isn't very important to me. I saw my parents divorce when i was young, and I've also seen others get destroyed from divorce. I don't want to make myself vulnerable to that

>>18554790
find someone who you enjoy spending time with quit going for the super hot qt 2.555255114 go for someone who you enjoy as a person , someone who has similar interest and you will almost never have a problem

>>18554796

I just don't see the point

>>18554799
the point is quit dating shallow people just for their looks date girls that have similar interest and someone you actually enjoy and overtime marriage generally fellows well one that lasts anyway

>>18554808

I don't date anyone tho Tbh..

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>>18554790
Believe it or not, but I'm in a similiar kind of situation too, having most of my friends getting married/having kids and experienced divorce when I was kid. I also know how does a fucked up relationship look like because my parents argued a lot and both having affairs before divorcing. In a conclusion mother dated junkies and other lowlifes for years before taking her own life (well she wasn't the most balanced person to begin with).

This could've been the reason why I've usually preferred being alone, but during recent years I've come to a solid conclusion that I still want to try a serious relationship, with one benefit to get rid that haunting image of my parents "example". And by serious relationship I don't mean getting married, buying a house and having children (I hate kids), just able to be close to someone who'd you can share experiences and bad jokes with. And if it doesn't work, at least I can say I gave it a shot and move on.

>>18554834

Well good luck to you anon. I can't do that. Because I know that even if I did get in a good relationship, it would end badly. So I just can't justify the point of setting myself up for failure

>never had a girlfriend before

I have had, and I too think that maybe solo is the best way-- but having never had one, what is it that convinces you you are better alone? Genuinely curious, OP. I would like to offer some input but I'd like to hear your stance(s) first.

>>18554880

1. I'm used to being independent
2. I travel alone regularly
3. I don't celebrate holidays
4. I enjoy my time alone
5. I don't think I could handle someone being affectionate and emotionally caring for me Tbh
6. I also think that PDA is inappropriate

>>18554888
You sound like a real stick in the mud, you probably are better alone and loveless.

>>18554888

That being the case I think my input is largely irrelevant. It looks more like you might be having issues finding someone who really has a grasp on 'independence.'

The good news is that theoretically, without a person to care about, your status is far easier to handle.

Try not to take a fatalistic outlook. Being single, the world is your oyster.

>be me
>relationship for 5 years
>realizing now how stale it has become
>constantly trying to push it one way or another, pull it this way and that, to revive the spark and motivate my SO
>nothing seems to work
>cue vicious cycle

'Course, I still care about her, so dropping her on her ass feels like a weak move. So instead I'm just sort of tearing myself apart, Lisa.

Whoop.

I know what you are talking about, I prefer to spend most time by myself or very valuable (to me) people, I don't want to "just hang out" with some normies without common interests at all.
But never having a girlfriend... One should do it at least once for the sake of experience. You are scared OP.
Also, my gf is the person I spend all my social time with. Don't have friends or so. This is optimal (until we break up, then I will cry like a lonely bitch I am)

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>>18553091

Asking the real questions.

>>18553055
If you're happy and comfortable with your own company.

Been living with my girlfriend with a year; and she's become really bitchy.

>>18554918

That's what I'm saying. I mean I have a lot of good friends, and I'm social. But, I just don't think I could have a relationship

>>18554919

Yeah I understand what you mean

>>18553055
I thought I was until I met someone who truly set my heart on fire. It didn't end up working out and was a pretty painful experience. However, I learned so much about myself and participating in relationships. I believe the "need" for a mate is a good one but the dating culture in the west is all messed up now. Whereas people in the past would take the time to get to know people's character in a rational manner before deciding to marry, now people hook up until they decide they want to be gf/bf, then they move in together and start acting like husband and wife without the commitment to stick with it forever. Then they break up and rinse and repeat the process with several partners until they decide to settle down. Then they marry a fiance/é who they've already been having sex and the marriage day ends up being nothing but a formality, and the likely divorce no different than one of the several breakups they've had in the past.