i've developed a hard case of oneitis. I thought I was smarter

just be sad about it for like a year and you'll get bored of it eventually

>>18551339
Seems like that's ho it usually happens. What if it doesn't though? It's only been ~2 months

She's not special, she's a flawed useless shit like everyone else. There's nothing extraordinary about her, it's just yourself mentally masturbating to the idea. She's just like everyone else.

>>18551345
Doesn't matter, don't get yourself ahead of the future. I mean even if it doesn't pass, if she doesn't like you it won't matter. First, try to get her and if you fail realize it doesn't matter. Just how you met this one girl who you think is so special, you can meet another one like her and another one and so on, eventually. She is not unique, she's not the only charismatic hot chick in your area.

I find it helps to think about how irritating you'd find them if you were gay/ the opposite gender.
I bet you'd think she was a right cunt if you didn't want to fuck her.

>>18551376
you may be right, but even though we have had sex a lot and i do really enjoy it, this is the first time I've known a girl who I would actually consider a friend, and would like to be friends with even if sex is off the table. But that's the problem, I'm afraid we might not even be able to have a platonic friendship

>>18551398
>even though we have had sex a lot
Wait... what?
What is the problem then? You had sex with her, what else do you want?
Leave, normie.

>>18551400
I want her to be in my life, preferably in a romantic/physical sense, but if I can't have that, I would still want to have her in my life as a friend, because I don't like very many people to consider them friends.

>>18551400
lol u jelly

>>18551404
>>18551403
I just don't understand how people make a problem out of this. It's like first world problems taken to the extreme.
>waaaaa she has sex with me but is not "in love" with me

>>18551329

had this a few years ago. asked her out, got rejected, got over it in another month. life goes on and you eventually fuck someone else who you can't believe is this hot

>>18551398

nvm, retracting my previous post. Masterful bait OP. that or you don't understand what oneitis means

>>18551419
I do, i've had it, and unfortunately have it again.

>>18551422
You can't complain just because someone you actually have sex with is not your friend. It's so retarded I don't even know how to put it into words.
Not sure if this is also the plot of that 500 days of Summer movie which I haven't seen.
It's the kind of problem the most pretentious and entitled normies have.
Just keep having sex with her. Besides if she doesn't want the same thing you want then she's not as special as you think she is to you.

>>18551422

Oneitis is where you're obsessed with a girl that you're not in a relationship with or fucking, think she's perfect for you, and it prevents you from wanting to hook up with any other girls

What you describe here >>18551398 sounds a bit different and not something described by oneitis, though. I actually have experience with the same thing - a girl was fucking me a bit as a rebound from a relationship but didn't feel comfortable actually going straight into another relationship with me, I was obsessed with her but trying to play it cool, we eventually happily ended up together after a couple of months and our relationship lasted 2 years.

That's not "oneitis" though, that's just called "a messy situation". Those 2 months of fucking but being held at arm's length were so bittersweet. Unlike any other feeling I've had.

>>18551437
Not OP but I remember that I once googled what Oneitis means and some sites call it oneitis even if you are in a relationship, which is retarded. Apparently some people even get worried about liking their couple too much.

>>18551435

No, I think in that movie they just have a shitty relationship based on liking the same entry level /mu/ shit and projecting fantasies on to each other of being flawless patricians/MPDGs and at the end after they break up he shows signs of becoming less of a dipshit by asking out some hot chick in a business suit he happens to run into at a job interview who probably hasn't even heard of joy division. Shit movie

>>18551438

Damn that's retarded. There's obviously the issue where some couples just disappear up their own asses and stop hanging out with their friends more than 6x a year while they're together, but that's such an unrelated issue

>>18551435
I don't even think she wants to keep having sex. And that's okay with me, I really just want her in my life.

>>18551437
That's pretty much how it is, I think she was only into me because I acted like I didn't care (at the time I was seeing other people, so she was just one of a few) but then I realized how much she meant to me, and then she started to distance herself. It is bittersweet, but I guess it's true you lose em how you got em, in this case acting too aloof.

>>18551445
Scoring sex is harder than scoring friendship. You already know you are an average, capable human being. Look for a new girl. This one is not special, I can't stress that enough.

>>18551457
Trust me that I understand that. I spouted it my entire life. But what happens when you meet someone who really is special? It would be a cop out just to say no one is.

>>18551445

I see. Yeah, for mine it was a similar thing, I wasn't seeing other chicks at the time but I was shit at interacting with girls so I just treated them like one of the guys which for me meant lots of harsh burns, so she thought i was super chill. Thankfully she wasn't an asshole so instead of pulling away as I got more into her, she slowly reciprocated and got more open and honest with me as well. Sucks and I have no good advice for you. Just weather the storm and treat this as an interesting life experience a lot of people will never have.

>>18551466
I don't consider it a cop out, I'm cynical like that. And after my experience, everyone I've ever met that seemed special turned out to be "just like the rest". It took me long to realize every time but looking back, no one was ever "special".

>>18551466
Besides if you consider someone special, you will just beat yourself up for it when it doesn't work out. If you accept that no one is special you can just focus on someone that fits with you, knowing that there are many possible matches to try if one fails. Besides the world would be extremely complex if very few people or just one were "special". I think people just convince themselves that someone is special but they deep down know they just settle because "it could be worse and I should be happy with what I have".
Where and how did you meet this girl? I'm sure there's more like her where she came from.

>>18551485
>if very few people or just one were "special"

Isn't that the definition of the word?

Also, we met at work. I've met a lot of people, and am still going out and trying to meet new girls, but they seem invisible like I said, I just can't bring myself to put effort into these new relationships because I don't want to let go of the possibility of her.

Real question, how does one get over their oneitis if they managed to actually date their oneitis for 4 fucking years only to have it end?

How do I get over her? I'm still so in love. We didn't even have a fight or any falling out. She basically had a mid life crisis and ran from everything and everyone one in her life, moved back home with her parents and is convinced "dating just isn't for her."

It hurts so bad man, its been 6 months and I still think about her every day. We're still so compatible, I don't know what happened.