Hey /adv 3 weeks ago my bf of nearly 3 years split up with me

self bump

Maybe he's just emotionally immature and needs time to come around, but he sounds like he needs to sort his shit out

>>18550815
In your situation, it might be good idea to try one more time. What is his version of the situation, though?

The way you told the story, it really seems like you two will probably cross paths again, in one form or another.
But please, don't focus too much on those kinds of things:
>How could I make him miss me and come back?

we have had struggles with things in the past as my anxiety made it a struggle to open up about about my past. i was in an abusive relationship, the abusive guy ended up telling this boyfriend stuff i wasnt ready to talk about.

so he ended up not trusting me as much as he should and we broke up a couple times.

this time we broke up because i got a fucking letter from the abusive ex sayng he misses me and wants a catch up. i ripped up the letter and disposed of it. i told my boyfriend later on in the day because i needed to compose myself as i struggled. he had none of it when i told him he said that we had a rule we tell eachother things instantly. i told him 3/4 hours later. the next day he went and found the letter. he got angry at the abusive ex but still gave me shit for not telling him instantly and throwing out the letter

>>18550826
sorry I'm still learning how to use 4chan properly ive never posted before until now

my reply is the>>18550834

How did he find it if you disposed of it? Are you that dumb?

>>18550834
he also told our mutual friend that HIS FRIENDS said we always got back together because we had contact on social media. i dont see why he should just listen to his friends, obviously they will be angry and on his side, just like my friends would be on mine. i think we should talk the problem out and i told him he clearly needs time. he wasnt having any of what i was saying. but then told our mutual friend he needs time which is annoying as thats what i said.

he blocked my number and facebook 2 days after the break up. then he waited like 2 weeks to block me on instagram, then twitter even though i dont post, and i unfollowed him on everything the same day. its annoying. he told me that if i want to talk to him then i need to do so face to face. which is impossible as he lives an hour away on the bus, we are not in college as its summer holidays and he goes to a different gym than me. the only thing he hasnt blocked me on is on email but im not emailing him thats pathetic and clearly he needs time and might come back himself.

we had a ddlg style relationship so im really really struggling as we spoke pretty much non stop and revolved our lives around eachother (but still had time to do whatever we wanted). we were eachothers best friends

>>18550844
He told me he really wanted to see the letter for a peace of mind
i told him where it is, as i threw it out in the gym toilets

>split up with me over an event where he was meant to protect me, instead he was angry with me.

so you cheated and lied rape, your relationship is shit and was always shit, good relationships dont break on a yearly basis, he lied, he meant you are a good pussy to rail but a terrible person who he cant stand

youll cope by sucking the dick of the 1st handsome muppet you meet then start blabbering about that perfect relationship, why even bother posting this stupid thread

>>18550852

ive never cheated on him. he split up with me because of the letter.

i have bad anxiety when it comes to the past so i felt really unsafe when i saw the letter. but instead of him protecting me from the ex he told me i was stupid for ripping up the letter and telling him 3 hours later instead of instantly.

im absolutely terrified of other men due to a shit father and the abusive ex.

>>18550855
If he split up with you because of a lwtter you threw out and told him about then fuck him. He's an insecure bitch anyway.

>>18551075

This, sounds like an excuse-- he wanted out, the letter just gave him an easy fall man to blame. Realistically, he would have caved and done something to break up if not just breaking up with you. Men don't usually flip on a switch like that.

I'd think of how you can protect yourself. That is the most important thing you can have.

>Every time we split up, we came back together stronger

lol

>he split up with me because of the letter.

how can you call him a daddy and keep a straight face, he sounds like a mentally ill 15 year old

>>18550815
your bf is fucking crazy or there is history of you hiding contact from ex's or other men.

I do not understand why you would even open a letter from an abusive ex from 3 years ago.

Your bf is finally taking control of his life

He always kept crawling back to you.
Hopefully now he realizes that you are the ultimate thot

If I were him, and my girlfriend tried to hide a letter from her ex from me, I might be inclined to think she's having unfaithful thoughts. Don't get back together with him, you're both need to be on your own for a while to clear your heads. Two halves will never make a whole in a relationship, and that is why yours will continue to fail until you both become independent and don't rely on another person for your emotional wellbeing.

The truth is he's still too young for a BDSM relationship, and he has much to learn. Hopefully he can find the help that he needs to become independent. He doesn't seem to know what he wants yet. He certainly isn't qualified as your caretaker.

You also broke his trust, OP. You disrespected him and his first instinct is to remove himself from the situation. You should have told him straight away, but because you hid it from him, the only reason he would have left to think of why you wouldn't share it with him is because you still have feelings for your ex. It turned out this way because you didn't trust him in the first place to protect you, and in turn he didn't. One of the rules of your relationship was broken.

Frankly, your relationship doesn't need those rules. He should have been more empathetic to what you've been through and set his pride aside.

You need to accept the situation as it is, and learn how to cope with the painfulness of it. Otherwise every reminder of him will be painful, and you'll most likely run into each other again. It doesn't sound like either of you are suited for a ddlg relationship, you might want to revaluate what you want.

I strongly suggest you forget about him and find someone more stable who has grown up some. Member kids never stick your dick in crazy, or let it stick its dick in you.

Hey guys OP here

I have no feelings for the abusive ex at all I'm terrified of him. I ripped and threw out the letter because it caused me a lot of anxiety and I went into panic mode I don't want anything associated with the guy. Thank you all for the advice