I had depression once in my life, and for some reason I want

I'd say no because I feel the same. Probably is some ridiculous variant of grass is greener on the other side.

Perhaps it's because you had a "socially acceptable" excuse for acting like a nutcase?

>>18547159
This, big part of healing yourself from mental illness (like depression) is realizing the fucked up behaviors you had that formed as a result of the illness rather than a symptom.

(I;e being a shut-in after being depressed, being irritable, etc etc)

Tldr - No, you're not crazy, you likely just have something in your life (a personality trait, a habit maybe) that you need to let go of because it makes no sense for you want to go back to the hellish monotony of depression

>>18547147
Think about it. When you're depressed, you're mostly focused on yourself, your self-talk, etc. You're not crazy, you're a selfish prick.