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Well hello /adv/, I will get straight to the point
I am 19 years, old, have been a IV heroin and benzo addict for the past 2 years. Have(had) plans to go to college this fall, already accepted and everything.... I cut up my student ID and had to eat half my benzo script to stop myself from going out, and shooting a gram of dope to become an hero, after 8 weeks clean time life just seems so pointless.... Not to mention I am not on near enough benzos... I have constant anxiety, pretty much all this script does is keep me from going into WD/getting the shakes.
The reason I started using drugs is because of anxiety, bipolar, and depression. This went untreated for a very long time and now, I am on some meds but obviously they are not working and not enough. I just dont see a point in living anymore, I shared needles with some sketchy people and slept with some skanky girls... I pray that I dont have hepc or HIV but that is always in back of my mind and I am just so fucking done with everything. Heroin cured my chronic pain, depression, anxiety, everything... but I will never get an opiod script due to history of methadone clinics and 1 rehab. Even if I were to miraculously get an opiod script it would not be a high enough dose, but that will literally never happen due to my past and me being on benzos.
I dont even know why Im making this thread... if I dont kill myself tonight or tomorrow there is about a 90% chance I will within next year.
Im sure you get these kind of threads all the time and I am sorry for bumping a more important thread of the board... im just a useless junky... I just want to talk to someone...
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>>18547059
Holyfuck
Brah you're going to make it one day just never give up no matter how hard life gets don't choose that route
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>>18547059
Military
As long as you stay off the front, the army is a place to get some dicipline and lifelong friends.
And dont kill yourself, It just forces you to face whatever existential horror you feel
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>>18547118
I want to believe it will get better, but nothing feels worth it.... i really dont even know why i made this thread, you dont know how much i appreciate yours and any replys but i just dont know what to do... i just dont know. i have been told it was going to get better for the past 5 years, counselors, friends, psychs all tell me this but it doesnt get better. it never gets better
>>18547130
I actually wanted to go that route when I was 16 years old, then found out i was not allowed in due to a condition i have. honestly the only thing stopping me from killing myself i think is that i dont want my parents to have to bury there own son... no parent should have to bury there own child.. especially under these circumstances. even though we are not on good terms, i would still feel guilty... although i guess you dont feel guilt once your dead.. you dont feel anything and that sounds great to me.
Thread posts: 5
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Thread images: 2