My aunt comes to my house a lot, she always needs help with her

My plan was to look out when she was coming, I have about 2 minutes to get a boner, unlock the doors, lay down on my bed, put headphones in ears so I can pretend I didn't hear her, and jerk off and let her catch me, if anyone has any better plan I would like to hear it.

What is it you're trying to accomplish?

>>18545748
Whatever it may lead to, preferably sex

>>18545764
Risky business you're getting into

>>18545779
That's why I'm asking for an advice here, what would be a best way to approach it.

>>18545570
>desperate enough to risk a family scandal for a handjob from a 50yo roastie

Kid get a hooker

>>18545788
I'm not desperate to have sex, I've had sex before.
I'm asking how I would approach this situation so there's a possibility something happens, this fetish developed recently for some reason.

>>18545570
>I want to fuck my fat aunt
/adv/ is a fascinating board

>>18545570
there are a few possible outcome...

1) she comes in, see you jerk off, be embaressed about it and leave or go somewhere and wait for you to be finished. (might even use it against you as a funny/embaressing story about you)

2) she sees it, you stop, she calls you a pervert and asks wtf is wrong with you. might even include your parents to a serious talk about their boy..

3) she jerks you off and you have sex

number 1 or 2 are like 99,99% whats gonna happen...

what have your mind prepared to do when one of scenario 1 or 2 happens?

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>>18545809
>MFW

>>18545570
OP for the record, this is the worst fucking plan I have ever heard. Seeing your nephew spankin it is *NOT* going to get your *AUNT* hot and bothered.

She will fucking leave.

Why do I have to tell people this? Hire an escort and roleplay this shit, save yourself a headache FFS.

>>18545826
Since I would be home alone I would have headphones in my ears and pretend not to notice her walking in my room, I don't really know, that's why I asked for an advice..
>>18545845
What advice do you have beside a hooker?

>>18545848
yea and when she walks in then what?
you wanna say
"hey wanna join? "

you don't see the problem in your plan do you?

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>>18545848
My advice is forget this dream. This is a fantasy and not realistically attainable.You are setting yourself up for regret and failure over a fleeting fetish. Try to keep the long term in mind.

Advice pictured.

>>18545863
I see that there are flaws that need to be worked out, maybe she would leave and another day I would talk to her about it, something about how I'm sorry or something dumb like that.

>>18545875
and then what?
she says "oow it's natural"
and you say "yes i know, do you wanna help me another time? "
or do you think she'll suggest it herself like
"hey aunt i didn't knew you were coming i'm so sorry that you had to see that"
then she'll say "ow anon it's okay! maybe next time i could help?"

again... you see the problem?

>>18545875
>Autism

This plan is dildos.

Why do you even WANT this. Help us get inside your mind anon.

>>18545899
I actually don't know, I've had better looking girls then her and was never attracted to her or women like her, but recently I started seeing her differently

>>18545908
This feeling will pass. Speaking as a man who has had dangerous/weird attractions, don't cause yourself long term strife and suffering over a boner, bruh.

>>18545908
i'm dying hard...
you're amazing..!
but seriously why go through all the trouble?
why not just send a dick pic and if she gets mad or whatever just say it was to the wrong person and you're so sorry!

then you could even do it now!

>>18545926
>why not just send a dick pic and if she gets mad or whatever just say it was to the wrong person and you're so sorry!
Boom, done.

This is what you do, it's easy and fairly risk free.

"OMG AUNT ANON! THAT WAS FOR SOMEONE ELSE!"

>>18545945
excatly!

>>18545570
how did it go OP?
any luck?

>>18545788
This

>>18546280
oh stop let him try!
hope he sends a dick pic!

>>18545945

This, nothing like deferring to technology. You can even say it was a 'phish' scam. Say they used your facebook or some normie shit, put a warning on your facebook to watch out for e-mails, texts and such.

Ofc if she's into it then own it and own her and go for your gold.

>>18546290
SO GREAT
thats like the best idea ever!

/adv/ my mom has kicked me out the house for sending dick pics to my aunty, what should I do?

>>18546336
mom is clearly jealous!
send one to her too, with a nice message like sorry or so?

>>18545570
What did you do OP?

You watch too much porn

>>18545570
what did you do? how did it go?

>>18545570
OP we need answers!

>>18545570
It's highly unlikely she will then sit beside you and jerk you off. This is a fantasy derived from porn i suspect. It's also very rare a woman would make a first move like that I think. In the real world, sex is initiated by the male of the species through suggestive dialect known as flirting

>>18547237
why?
what if shes a horney bitch?

>>18546221
>>18546375
>>18547191
>>18547203
>>18547237
I haven't done anything yet, it's currently 1 pm here, I'll probably be going over to her place later

>>18547541
why not?

it's just a picture!

>>18545803
>I'm not desperate to have sex
I'd make fun of you but see:
>>18545809
>>18545845
>>18545863

Like holy shit man, I'm cracking up.

>>18547771
Good for you, I see it doesn't take a lot to entertain you, you're simple man

>>18545570
It might work... I kinda fucked my sister in law with a similar scheme.

That's high risk for very low return

Nah! No risk at all. Everybody masturbates, Fat auntie will probably do it imagining anon's dick after seeing it.

OP please disregard the advice of everyone in this thread, and go for it. I really want to know how this turns out.

>>18548150
Go for what? What thing should I do?

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>>18545867
I have a related diagram too for OP.
pic related

>>18548072
greentext that please so we can all learn.
>>18548092
yes, agreed. I think it's a great idea actually. What's the worst that can happen?
>nothing
yeah, nothing, literally nothing. she'll just walk away and it will be a little embarrassing but no big deal.

>>18548161
you should really send that dick pic!
and write something like

"is this good enough?"
(to throw her off, like you're writing with someone!
then awaite her answer, if she dismisses you, you just write "i'm so sorry that wasn't meant for you!"
and then everything is forgotten and okay

That pic of auntie on the left clearly indicates she is wanting the D, big time. I think OP has got all his chances. Gor for it dude!

>>18548294
That's not my real aunt, that's a pic that resembles her body

>>18548460
OK OP, she has a good body designed for fun. I think she will allow you to play with it if she can see you play with yourself first. Have a good time and good luck to you.

>>18548465
I've made a discord server and might post updates and my progress there if anyone is interested?

>>18548475
keep thread alive or start a new one when you get a good result.

>>18548475
Well, the server is here discord gg/ GTGxVK7 if anyone is interested in regular updates

>>18548490
Well, it was a sort of interesting day today, I've got some sideboobs and got to massage her

>>18548503
Nobody cares dude

>>18548530
>open boob

>>18548530
the slow burn approach, to not scare her off. nice. make sure it's flirtatious and not just you being a pet. the guy saying to outright whip your dick out is probably wrong, but maybe there's a subtler approach to accomplishing the same thing.

>>18548597
yes, simmer on a low flame. make some flattering remarks about her appearance and figure. make some suggestive smiles also.
do this for a few times and then you will get her ready for your D.

>>18548597
>>18548610
maybe this isn't relevant, but I was going to fuck a professor one time but I was underage and got scared.

make sure you are not actually too scared to go through with it, otherwise it'll be a major loss

> OP goes through with it
> actually pulls it off, bangs his aunt
> 2019, this technique has become so common it's a meme
> it's been discussed on normie TV programs
> letting yourself get "caught" jacking it is basically a shortcut to saying "I wanna bone you"
> epidemic of people fucking their aunts, nieces, in-laws

>>18548670
you heard it here first, robros.

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>>18548670

>>18545809
Lmfao. Don't change /adv/

>>18548670
What will porn move to once that's boring?

>>18548503
Nice lol

>>18548170
No green, too lazy.

My SIL used to come to me with questions regarding the use of software all the time, nice gal, big boobs, so one day, knowing that she has a curios nature I left an stethoscope hanging next to my PC as bait.

So, as expected, one day she comes, my wife is in the living room and my SIL as usual is asking me questions about fucking Powerpoint's templates.. long story short eventually she asked me about the stethoscope, how it works, how position it,etc. I show her, first using it on myself and later asking her to unbutton her shirt to listen to her heartbeat, she does, I told her that I needed to get the instrument closer to her boobs, I move it closer and slowly with one finger I started touching her nip.. she says nothing, and I can tell that she is excited because I can hear her heart.. I took a bigger risk and I went with my full hand feeling her, she quietly moans, we continue for a few minutes until I basically have my hands full with her beautiful breasts, the fact that my wife is in the living room makes everything more exciting, we ended up fucking many times like two weeks after.

>>18549424
Niiiice

>>18549424
Age difference between sil and you? Age difference between OP and aunt is 30 years

>>18549578
She is six years older

>>18549692
Sounds good then.

Bump for OP

>>18549424

Diamonds

Did you not feel bad though?

>>18551054
Nope, not at all.

What's important is that women sometimes need a sort of "lateral approach", to give them the impression that "circumstances and destiny" played a role (instead of their horniness).

My sil to this day believes that everything started by chance...Not that it was a calculated risk on my part.

I did something similar also with a friend's wife, it also worked.

>>18550559
this

>>18549424
That is so diabolical and cunning. Amazing.

Just pretend to be asleep with your dick out faggot. Either have a camera somewhere or close your eyes ever so slightly that it looks like they're closed.

Then see what happens,

>>18545921
Yeah, this pedo gets it

>>18551494
>>18549424
Things that never happened: The post

How do I discord

>>18551682
What exactly is so incredibly according to you?

Just wondering.

>>18551722
Multiple factors
>The fact that you're posting on 4chan and saying this happened to you
>The fact that you placed a stethoscope to generate curiosity from your SIL, when in reality I think 99 percent of people wouldn't give a fuck except maybe a child
>The fact that you "demonstrated" a stethoscope on a woman.
Seriously, who the fuck asks how a stethoscope works and to how to position it? Everyone understands that a doctor puts it somewhere on your chest.
>Started touching her nip, then going for whole hand
Now, in the right situation this could work. But, that is something that could go very, very wrong. The woman could have yelped and slapped you. But that's besides the point. Even assuming you could do that with enough balls.
>Your wife is in the other room
Again, ballsy, but at this point it just sounds contrived and fantastical. Not only did you get your SIL to be curious about a fucking stethoscope, you also grabbed her breasts without any qualms AND your wife just happened to be in the other room. Add on top of that the fact that you claimed you fucked your friend's wife, I'm calling bullshit. A person who has those capabilities is highly unlikely to be posting here, and it doesn't help that your post sounds like a total fantasy.

UPDATE plox OP

>>18551757
Interesting.

Well it happened.

>>18551769
Nothing happened today, I had work and was too tired to visit her