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Anonymous
How to keep the ember alive? 2017-07-22 07:07:42 Post No. 18545380
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How to keep the ember alive? 2017-07-22 07:07:42 Post No. 18545380
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I lost someone that means alot to me, but at same time I have not.
I'm 23 m, my ex girlfriend is 24.
been dating for a little over 4 years now, but on and off. I've never broken up with her and longest time away was 3 months ha. First time I pretty much begged her back, the other times she came back to me. She broke up with me again about a month and a half ago saying she was not happy but this time she realizes that she wants to just focus on her job since she just graduated and that I've always been more of a stress, but stress because she cares TOO much. which I love that about her but she has to take a step back at times. ex. If I don't eat all day she feel obligated to take me food, which is an hour out of her time increasing stress.
fast forward to now we meet up maybe twice a week now for the past three weeks, see how we are doing because she asked to just be friends. we started having sex again just last week but this week she broke down mid way basically saying that we shouldn't be doing this because she just ends up hurting me again. I can careless if she hurts me again because I can tell she isn't doing it intentionally( fyi I love my self). There isnt someone else involved. just last night she tells me that she loves me alot, but doesnt want to keep repeating this on- off thing and its intuition that its best to be alone for atleast her first year as a teacher because but she has been dropping hints to not letting me go completely . ex. she as talked about getting a place across town, jokingly I said please don't invite others guys over and she said the only guy she was planning on inviting was me but not anymore lol or planning to still go on my bday trip in Oct which was just supposed to be only us two on the trip.
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to sum it up, she means alot to me and I want to keep the ember alive as long as possible, but is this the right way. Should we be doing little couple things here and there or let her go enough to just be friends. I think she likes what we have going on but she is scared to hurt me, she is the one that feels guilty am happy with it. I dont want to get to the point where we block each other out completely but if i have to in hope theres more in store for us down the road I will. whats best?because i know I wont think about another girl other than her for most of my time will go to the start up that i have for the next five years
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Sounds like she isn't that bad but the relationship sounds slightly one sided. What might one day hurt alot if things turn around.
Just tell her that you will have a relationship with her and she shall look out for the things they have an urge to do. Just because you are in a relationship doesnt mean that you have to be all the time together. You will meet each other once in a while, have sex with, talk about things and beside live on your own. Like all this on and off is bullshit since you get together in the end so you might aswell keep it an relationship but loosen some strings. Just because she wants to focus on work doesn't mean she is not supposed to have someone she can love, enjoy time and sex with. The most important thing is that neither you nor she push each other to spend time together. Even if you see each other every 5 days or see yourself only at night while sleeping next to each other. At least having an heartly connection is better than not.
If she contradicts, she's a hoe.
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