Retroactive jealousy

File: SymphoniesOfSickness.jpg (37KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 300x300px

Or rather, retroactive insecurity.

>Been an unsuccessful, fat, insecure chump all my life
>Lost my virginity at 21
>2 girlfriends until I was 25

Fast forward. I'm 28 now and I've been working on myself in every possible way for the last 3 years, realizing it's the only way to achieve happiness.

>Got in shape
>Graduated university
>Earning decent money at my first job
>Tinder matches start finally rolling in
>Been seeing a cute 18 year old
>Asked about her sexual history (fuck me, I know)
>Cue details about chads railing her in club bathrooms, being submissive etc

The thing is, she's on the smart side too, having graduated as an honors student and receiving several scholarships.

I really liked her up until this point, and the reason that has changed is simple: All this anger stemming from years of rejection is starting to creep back into my mind. I can't get over the fact that I was never that hunk getting blown by a hottie in my best years of high school and college.

Thought on how you'd handle this? Thinking about pumping her for the fuck of it and simply moving on to the next one when I'm tired of her. I just need to get this shit out of my system, but I don't know how without becoming bitter and disillusioned. And yes, I know that even young girls like this won't be an untouched virgin; this is ultimately not about her past, but my own.

Pic unrelated, just a sick album.