Want gf but feel like I'm missing steps...

>>18544958

>Trying to get a gf for the sake of having a relationship
>Not seeing where it goes wrong
>Asking girls out you're not genuinly attracted to

You are probably unsuccesfull because you come over as boring and uninterested, because you probably are not interested in them.

>>18544978
Are you just illeiterate or retarded? I haven't tried the appproaches I've listed. I don't know what is the correct way. What am I supposed to do? Sit around?

>>18544999

Great way to deal with someone giving you advice. But on the other hand, I read through your post too fast.

So it boils down to the following: If you want a girlfriend, you need to be exposed to enough people until you finally meet someone you feel attracted to. You (now I am projecting my behaviour upon you, so it may not work for you) can feel that you're attracted to someone if you let them in your personal space/you actively seek contact with them even before realizing you like them.

Now you have found someone you are attrected to, the next step is to initiate contact. Get her phonenumber/skype/kik/whatever get to know her. Probe if the feelings is mutual, or if she is interested in you at all. If she's interested try to set up a date. If you get this far and don't know what to do, make a new thread for the next step.

>>18545076
My bad anon, that was unwarranted. Your advice sounds just about right.

My only questions are:
What are signs that would indicate attraction and the reciprocation of attraction?
Is there anything wrong with being more direct? I mean this as in directly asking if they want something beyond being platonic?

>>18545076
(I'm not OP)
Good advice, though it is very vague. Just to clarify, I'm one of those guys that think too much before doing anything and I actually find it easy to, for example, guess correctly the feelings of other people. But, I always find it difficult to think of any non-weird way to initiate a conversation like this. Any tips on that ?

>>18545193
Signs vary from person to person and it may be very difficult for many people to correctly guess this. I'll just say that you shoud ignore all of your emotions when trying to guess something like this because your own "heart" can very much fail you in certain situations, for example : "I like her, so she definitely likes me" - ignore this. Try to confront the person you are interested in about this, either directly or indirectly and then try to notice every detail and then try to make your assumption based on that. Again, difficult. Also, just because she seems that she likes you does not mean that she likes you. Some people simply tend to behave to everybody like that.

Become more sociable and expand your social circle. This is the path to success.

>>18544958

it seems like you're doing this whole thing backwards and treating it like some scientific formula you need to study. just post a picture of your self and lets see what you look like. we can give you our first impressions which will tell you what the first thing girls see is.

then we start to go deeper, like you would with a woman having a real conversation after seeing you.

>>18545193
About being direct - what do we know ? Somebody may appreciate you being direct, somebody may not. I personally think that you should determine this yourself, just because she may lie to you and it is a 50/50 chance of you guessing if she does or doesn't (it is probably more accurate to decide for yourself if she likes you) - so it is probably better to be indirect in most cases.

>>18545193
Im
>>18545076

About asking if they want something more beyond platonic: You seem to be thinking too far ahead. Try to focus to meet someone you feel attracted to first. Focus on the what is happening here and now, instead of going through hypothetical situations that are unlikely to happen anyway. You have to get to know someone first before you even have to ask yourself this question.

>>18545193
Have you ever been attracted to someone/fell in love with someone? What where the signs before that happened? Try to look for those ques. For example: I dislike people getting into my personal space, except if they are close friends. Therefore whenever I notice that I let someone I don't know too well in it means that I am implicitely attracted to them.

>>18545233
Also listen to this guy. NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ON OTHER PEOPLE"S FEELINGS. Try to initiate contact, and see how they respond. For example, if you have a conversation going on social media you can leave the conversation open for the other party to continue the conversation. If they dont persue the conversation further after you stopped asking questions it means they're not interested in you 99.999999% of the time.


>>18545203
I can elaborate on things if you like, I will now try to back whatever I try to say to you with tangable examples.

I assume you want to try to initiate conversations with someone you like, have seen before, but never had the guts to actually talk to. You always have to start with small talk. Asking deep/personal questions scares people off, and make you look creepy.

The best way to initiate small talk is to show interest in the other person. If you see them reading a book: start talking about books. If you see them reading the news: ask their opinion about some recent event. If you see them look on their phone all the time: Ask when the last time was they looked away from their phone for more than an hour. Etc.

>>18545349
*the conversation guy*
Good advice, I will try something like this one day when I get the oppportunity to do so. I'm a bit scared when it comes to initiating a conversation, probably because I might pause for a moment and think about what to say next which might seem weird and I do that quite often. I'm too bad at quick decisions.

>>18544958
>I've gotten a lot of advice and I've read books on dating

You sound like the average mentally ill millennial. You're unfit for being in a relationship at this point in time. Try again later, with fewer mental illnesses.

>>18545413
Do you know why freedom of speech, the internet and this board exists ? To ask questions like this. To figure out anything and everything. You are the only one mentally ill in here since you haven't understood this age yet. Assimilate or disconnect your PC from the internet and proceed to beat your wife if you have any. Jeez.

>>18544958
Wow the Israeli army and she literally has her finger on the trigger at least no magazine but still autistic trigger finger

>>18545413
What the fuck is eating your ass, bro?

>>18545349
I'm very appreciative of your advice, Anon. This is really starting to make sense.

To answer your questions, yes, I've been "in love" but only once and it was to a close friend. I still am in love but I want to move on. The mention of behavior ques is something I've noticed and that's what happened with my friend. I'll definetley keep that in mind.

>>18545269
Why would my face be important? I'm not doing that.

>>18545282
I'm guessing there's no true way to determine, correct? Wait, why would a woman lie and for what reason?

>>18545507
She may "give you a chance". The problem with this is that you can never be sure why. Maybe she simply "stores you in her pocket for later" to decide if you are worth something or not, if not then she may use you since you will probably fall in love with her at this point. Honestly, if she is not interested in you immediately after initiating a conversation with her then chances are about 50 / 50 that it is a lost cause which is too big of a risk.

>>18545540
Ah, gotcha. I'm sort of afraid of that happening. Is there a way to prevent this? It sounds like a situation where she ultimately doesn't respect you as a person.

>>18545574
As I have said before, it is only up to your intelligence and empathy to figure out if she is even worth your time and if she likes you well enough to have a serious relationship with you.

There is no foolproof method on how to accompish this. If you are capable of figuring this out then chances are you will. If not, then there is no way that anybody on earth could teach you on how to do this.

.. Don't lose your hope, pal :) There are a lot of people on this earth and chances are very high that there exists an ideal person for you. It is only up to you to find her.

>>18545641
Also, follow your heart, but know that it is not always right. If you like some girl then go talk to her but if your mind screams at you to fall in love with her then don't listen to it. Try to figure the above mentioned things first,

>>18545649
* Sorry for sounding like a demented creep.