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Anonymous
I'm basically a non-existant person now 2017-07-22 02:15:03 Post No. 18544661
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I'm basically a non-existant person now 2017-07-22 02:15:03 Post No. 18544661
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I have been successful through my college life and started my carrier with a job in a Fortune 500 company. I have always been the guy that's not "looked for" in case of meetings, events etc. due to my apparent ugliness and the low self-confidence it caused my whole life, hence the constant upset face I'm putting on. I finally got the money to fix what's wrong with my face and teeth, so I fixed appereance-related and confidence problems but I feel like it's too late now. Because I literally "disappeared" in time. I have already graduated 2 years ago and I have noone to hang out with. Well, my childhood and high school friends are in different cities. Basically I don't "exist" in the city I'm living in. I have drastically changed both in appereance and attitude-wise. But I'm still the one "that's always negative" for the acquaintances from the college. So I just can't form a healthy relationship with them because of this prejudice.
Now I'm just a solitary shitter with no gf nor friends. I went into a bar last night alone, just to drink and find some relief but instead I started crying inside when people around the bar reminded me how alone I am. And I can't find anyone. And I'm losing my will power to live anymore, I feel like a crippling depression is close by and if I can't manage to form a friend group before it hits, I will probably kill myself this time.
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I feel you man. I had this feeling throughout most of my life until I found my recent friends.
Never had any incoming calls.
Never got messages.
Always had to initiate conversations.
When I try to get close to people, I fail.
And so on and so forth.
And a certain point I realized I was being too picky about friends. I always wanted to hang out with the popular ones too, but when I finally did... I still felt lonely.
I stopped choosing them and just went with any person that I could. Yeah, with many of them ,if not most, I stopped talking. But I finally found a group of friends whom I can hang out on a weekly basis (and sometimes even more).
And sometimes share and vent to them.
My point is... Search in the unlikely places, as well as in the likely places. It can be via hobbies or some sort of social movement. Even church.
Also, be yourself and be honest. (But not too honest. Also, don't be too clingy but don't let them forget you.)
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