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> Be me, 23, F
> Into a guy from work.
> Head chef, 29, stern, kinda dickish but very smart, playful, and sensitive when it counts.
> One of the only bosses I've ever had that cares about his people. Tells employees to go take 5 regularly, genuinely helps make paths of improvement and promotion for those who show they deserve it. Sometimes even helps pay for training on company dime.
> Everyone loves him.
> One night, out drinking, he invites me over to his place.
> Drive there, idle chitchat.
> His house is kinda insane.
> Tells me about how he grew up poor, with nothing.
> Washed dishes for four years before someone would consider giving him his first cooking job.
> Saved forever to buy land, build his home.
> Place is covered in plants. Not haphazardly, but instead purposefully placed into fixtures built into the home, all sorts of plants from small fruits and veggies and herbs to carnivorous and decorative.
> Water features built into the home.
> Livingroom has massive aquarium built into the wall.
> We talk all night.
> Tells me how he did this so that if he ever had children, they wouldn't have nothing like he did, in poverty.
> Tells me about plans to plant a small orchard of fruit trees next year.
> Cooks for me.
> We talk all night. He never makes a move.
> Feel inadequate when I realize just how smart he is. I can barely keep up.
> Ask him how he's single.
> " I'm used to being alone. I always have been. People act like I'm awesome, but never enough to take time out of their day to be a friend."
> Thanks me for the company. Apparently few visit him.
> Lets me sleep in the spare room.
I'm completely baffled, and don't know how to proceed. I don't want to be too forward, but at the same time it feels as though he sees me as some asexual creature. Also afraid of damaging work relationship by being to direct.
Help?
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>>18540860
I would say you should just do you and wait for him to make a move. He does like you.
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>>18540896
If he does like me, he doesn't really show it. While his humor can be dark and sexual, never is it directed at me. His eyes don't wander, and so on.
None of the signs I've learned from other men are present.
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>>18540860
Start staying at his place more often if he's cool with it (Not all the time, just every 3 weeks or so) sleep in your underwear (Make sure he knows) and leave the door ajar but stay under the blanket. He'll eventually enter your room one night. But if he doesn't, wait til hes asleep then get buck ass nude, enter his room, and wake him.
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Initiate instead of waiting up for him? It's clear he has intimacy issues, so he won't initiate any time soon.
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>>18540922
Shy guys do this. We'll act confident while hiding our feelings.
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>>18540922
He talked to you about his feelings and shit. He's letting down walls. On the other hand you are a bit younger than him and he's probably cautious about you.
Like I said just do you, it sounds like you've got some sort of connection let it go where it goes. I just think if I were him I'd want to make any real moves.
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Send pussy pic
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>>18540943
Are you listening to yourself? You can't expect a woman to initiate anything.
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>>18540948
Confirmed
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>>18540860
>"I'm used to being alone. I always have been. People act like I'm awesome, but never enough to take time out of their day to be a friend."
>Thanks me for the company. Apparently few visit him.
How do you get closer to him? He said it all there. Just spend more time with him. Preferably at his place, and he'll let his guard down even more around you (seems like he already has mentioning that whole thing)
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>>18540860
ask him out and make it clear to him that its ok to make a move.
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>>18540860
Don't rush shit. He's not good with intimacy and needs time to open up. It's also possible he likes you for your character and respects you as a person, making it inadequate in his view to ogle you.
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Take it slowly woman. Hes opening up to you after telling you hes used to be alone and dont know how to intimicy and you plam to rape him already.
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A few things, just because I feel I'm in a similiar scenario (despite not owning land)
1. Don't be afraid to initiate something more physical or direct. Sometimes guys struggle to catch social ques that others would deem flirtatious. More direct contact will help
2. If you're actually into the guy, play it slow. Spend more time with him. Gaining a mental attraction with someone can ultimately secure something more than just fuck-buddies.
3. The guy has already told you how he's spent a lot of time alone, which you can use to your advantage. I'm personally in a scenario with a girl that plays hot-and-cold constantly. Messages nonstop one day, and the next totally ignored. If he's often alone and has interest in you, you can guide how the relationship is formed.
4. Be wary of people like this too. Is there a reason he has been alone for so long? How long have you known him? What is known about his past. Keeping an arm length distance can be helpful.
I don't know if any of these really help, but sometimes it's helpful hearing other possible reasons for someone's attitude
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>>18540953
do this, but post pic here first.
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>>18540860
Here's the thing - say you let him smash your little wotang and it doesn't work out. You will lose a job a great Mentor and possibly a good friend. He is smart and already knows this.
Advice - get to know him as a person not a boss or Mentor. Let him make the moves. Just relax and enjoy the experience of being with an intelligent adult.
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>>18541551
I agree. I'm in the same situation (i.e. I'm the guy).
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>>18540860
>omg a guy didn't immediately try to fuck me the first chance he got!
>there must be something wrong with me!
no, there's something wrong with society for you to be thinking this way. It should be normal to fucking court before you get to fucking.
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>>18541583
I'm in a hot-and-cold scenario as well. How do you deal with it?
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>>18541648
Hahaha I'm asking myself the same thing, anon
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>>18540860
Maybe on closer look you are not as attractive as he imagined. Sorry OP.
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>>18540860
Try to get to know him better, and see if feels develop.
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> Ask him how he's single.
I think this would make me hate you more as your boss than trying to sleep with me
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He's redpilled MGTOW
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>>18541754
Bullseye
In fact this thread is a very good advertisement for the red pill, targeting the right audience, too.
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Tell him you enjoyed talking with him the other night. Invite him out for a cup of coffee to talk some more.
Depending on well you can cook, you can offer to cook for him since he has to spend all day cooking for others...
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>>18540860
Ask him to see your place next time
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>>18541794
sounds like she'd be setting herself up for a gestapo-like grilling, if you'll pardon the pun.
but yeah, a reciprocal gesture would be nice.
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>>18541754
>>18541760
What the hell does that even mean?
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>>18540860
What do you want?
>Money
Go over to his house and steal his bank info.
>Secks
Wear skimpy clothes and laugh at everything he says.
>Friendship
Reach out to him every so often to chat. Help him in times of need.
>Influence
Become friends and then ask for a favor.
It's not hard. Jesus Christ.
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>>18540860
If he is your boss he has more to lose by making a move. You are going to have to initiate and give him some sort of assurance that you aren't going to try to sue his ass for harassment.
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