General Advice Thread

>>18539451
How do i convice my gf to brush her teeth before bed

>>18539567

I think its strange that she needs convincing. I'm a bit picky about breath. This would be a deal breaker for me, anon.

>>18539451
Do you believe fat ppl have a shit work ethic? I mean like actual labor

>>18539567
Show her pictures of people with rotting teeth

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>>18539567
2 Kek or not 2 Kek? that is the question

I'm not OP, but in my opinion, although it sounds weird as fuck, just try to find someway to make want to brush her teeth before bed in exchange for something

Like, if that were happening to me, i'd probably refuse to kiss her that much, maybe not at all, until she brushed her teeth. It'd pain me to not do that, but I prefer that to the thought of there being oil, meat and whatnot from last weeks dinner stuck in between her teeth, and i don't even wanna think of the smell

>>18539641
It IS a dealbreaker for me but she doesnt changes anything

>>18539685
sorry i meant: *maybe i wouldn't at all

But you get what i'm saying

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can you make a person fall in love with you?

>>18539451
>No redpill/PUA advice offered.
Tell me how to pick up wimminz you fucking cunt.

>>18539689
Well shit, you've got it difficult then, just try to explain how much of a deal-breaker it is to you in the nicest way possible, and ask her to please change her habits, since it makes you uncomfortable

Do make sure to thank her & hug her or something if she says that she will try to

>>18539652

I believe that "fat people" is not a type of person to me. I had a few friends from my high school football years that went on to become NFL athletes. They exercised everyday more than your average person did in a year and were still over 300lbs and considered "fat" in many people's eyes.

I had a friend who was in a car accident about 10 years ago and due to some serious injuries and the medications she had to take for them she was bed ridden for about 5 months and gained an insane amount of weight. She ended up losing the weight slowly but the time she expressed to me that the time she spent overweight was very hard socially. People tend to judge without knowing the full story.

I'm not trying to say my friend in the car accident or my football player friends are the majority of overweight people. I'm just saying you should judge someone by who they are, not what they look like. You don't know what someone's story is just by looking at them.

>>18539689

>It IS a dealbreaker for me

Well, I guess that leaves you at a bit of an impasse then.

>>18539739
I've tried. She tries, but after the next two days, stops doing it.
I've baited her to the bathroom and then surpised her with the toothbrush and all i got was hdr getting pissed off

Seems im out of luck here

>>18539685
THIS

anon, i used to not brush before bed. mh mom never made me do it and it didn't know it was what people did.

my girl said "you don't get to kiss me at night or fuck until you brush" even in the mornings as well.

she was a shit girlfriend, but that was the BEST thing i got out of that relationship.

eventually i made it a habit, and now i would never go to bed without brushing first

how do i escalate win a girl?

i'm fresh out of a 4 year relationship as a 21 year old. i'm used to kissing and fucking and stuff, but doing it with a new girl is scary as hell to me

i was hanging out with a friend who was being really flirty and i know i could definitely hook up with her, but i don't know how to do it! i wanted to kiss her so bad and i don't know how to get to that level

>>18539727

Unfortunately not.

>>18539731

You asked a short question so I'll give you the short answer I've learned through my many years on this planet; be passionate. Passionate people are magnetic. Loving what you do and who you are and the things you have in your life make people want to get to know you. Feeling good will make the people around you feel good. Find whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself and live in it, anon. Become it. The internet will try to tell you there are a lot of tricks and methodologies to influencing people and making them bend to your will but my personal perspective has been that there is no substitute for genuine passion and confidence. Confidence is not being an asshole or being the center of attention or being the most popular guy in the room. Confidence is, simply put, knowing what you want and not letting anyone convince you otherwise.

My advice is really contrived and colloquial but, unfortunately, I've found it to be the most accurate.

>>18539763

>surprised her with the toothbrush
>got her guetting pissed off
Keked too hard at that for my own good

Try to put some kind of note telling her to brush her teeth in somewhere where she is certain to look at every night

If it still persists, the only solution i can think of would be to make her agree with you to set up an alarm on her phone for a bit before the usual time she goes to bed, just hope that it doesn't ring if you two ever get it on right at that time

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>>18539796
>unfortunately not

>>18539776

>tfw you have a shit girlfriend but get some nice shiny theets that appear in dental hygiene ads

I actually was being a bit hypocritical with what I said before, I too, didn't brush my teeth when i was little, even though my mother told me too.
Mainly because i didn't want to waist time, I was a hyperactive person back then, now i'm the opposite, and i even got a bit lower than average blood pressure(69.something)

But now i refuse to not brush my teeth, I find gross the thought of small remnants and oils staying there unnoticed for days

>>18539784

Physically escalating with a new person is always going to be a bit scary, regardless of how experienced or old you are.

You're not a stranger to being physical with a woman so you know as well as I do that you just have to do it, one way or another. There is no fancy way around it. You have to hop over that initial obstacle and just do it. Once you get past the first bit of physical hesitation it'll be business as usual.

Invite her to hang out, get her alone then go for it. Its safe to say that if she allows herself to be alone with you in a semi-private sort of situation then chances are she's just waiting for you to lean in and kiss her.

Can you check out my thread 18539697

>>18539867
im a fucking retard >>18539697

>>18539857
thanks normie jesus. you seem like a really mature and smart dude, im seeing her this weekend

>>18539451
What should I look for in a partner?

>>18539904
Someone who appreciates you for who you are

>>18539567
Tell her that WHEN her teeth begin to rot, it will cost thousands of dollars to get fillings and root canals done. And her teeth will never be the same again. It's like having termites in your walls/trees. They'll never be as strong, and will be at risk of re-infecting and rotting completely away. Tell her, that it's not just the teeth. Her gums can get mouth abscess and she can literally die of an infection from one.

>>18539796
>Find whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself and live in it, anon.
I cant find it

>>18539904

I can't answer that question for you. What kinds of things are important to you?

>>18539901

No problem, man. Good luck.

>>18539870

Honestly, it sounds like the both of you have some serious growing up to do. This is just an endless cycle of punishing each other with pettiness instead of just having an honest conversation and airing your grievances.

I don't know anything about you or this girl but I will tell you that you're going to continue to have these kinds of frustrations in your relationships if your response to conflict is to shut down and punish your girlfriend by not talking to her or spending time with her. Its my opinion that it doesn't sound as though the longevity of this relationship is a priority to either of you. It sounds as though you're both very young and emotional and just don't really have a good grasp on how to deal with those emotions in a positive manner yet. I don't mean this as an insult, its just a reality of growing up.

If your goal is to keep this relationship going then stop with this silly "ghosting" nonsense and talk to her face to face about how you feel and your problems. Not an argument, a conversation. If your goal is truly to solve these problems then she'll either cooperate with the process or not. If you goal is to prove her wrong and be the "winner" of this conflict then this pattern of ridiculousness will just continue until the relationship inevitable collapses.

>>18539959

Keep looking. It takes awhile. If you're under the age of 30 its not a rare occurrence to now know what you want out of life yet. I didn't really hit my stride until 27 or 28. The only thing you can really do wrong at this point is to develop complacency and give up trying to better yourself and find things to be passionate about.

>>18539451
I'm having trouble with a breakup. Been dating this girl for over a year but my feelings for her aren't as strong as they used to be. I tried breaking up with her before but she burst into tears and begged me to give her another chance. It hurt me too much to see her cry to go through with it properly.

>>18539960
To be honest, I am not sure, I think I just want someone who will like me, that I want to be around, and is ambitious.

>>18539451
The spark isn't there but I'm still in live. wat do

>>18540044

>It hurt me too much to see her cry to go through with it properly.

Unfortunately there is no way around that. I completely understand what you mean, though. I've been through that experience more than once when I was young and I can tell you with a fair amount of certainty that even though its hard to watch her pain you will deal an even greater amount of pain in the long run by allowing her to endure a relationship with someone that doesn't want to be with her.

The longer you wait the more painful it will be. You really have to commit yourself to making a decision and sticking to it, anon. Its obvious that she is terrified of being alone but that kind of dependence is very damaging in the long run, to both you and her.

>>18540055

Those are pretty vague qualities to desire in a partner but also a good place to start. I also don't really see anything wrong with not knowing what you want until you see it. Being attracted to things you never thought you would be can be a very fun, positive thing in new relationships. Just put yourself out there, anon, and be open to different kinds of people. I think not really knowing what you want in a partner will make the discovery process a little easier.

>>18540061

Can you elaborate a little further?

>>18540093
Thanks man, I'll just keep putting myself out there, glad to hear that it might be good that I don't know what I want. Thanks and have a great night :)

>>18539966
I'm 26 so I'm running out of time

>>18540159

>I'm 26 so I'm running out of time

There is no such thing. My father went back to college in his 40s and started an entirely new career after years of scraping by and providing for us. Don't be so quick to give up on yourself, anon.

>>18540117

No problem, man. I'm glad I could provide some insight.

>>18539451
How do I stop giving a fuck about what dumbass people on the internet think about something I feel strongly about? It makes me so fucking mad to see retards saying inaccurate shallow stupid ass shit and spreading it around and then circlejerking each other. I'm so fucking annoyed. I know they're retarded so I just tell myself to ignore them and go on about my business or do something different/positive but when I have downtime I can't help going back to see what they say but I don't even like it. I dread it. I know they are going to say some dumbass shit but I just HAVE TO KNOW and when I do I either get angry all over again, vent to myself and then move on or for the moment or just feel a sense of relief when I realize I don't really care now that I know. but then it just repeats. Fuck.

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I met this girl about 10 years ago. Sparks flew. We've lost contact with each other. Life went on.

I still think about her all the time. When will this finally fade?

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How do I stop feeling like I should just give up and/or sacrifice myself?

>>18539567
Brush her teeth for her. Talk about how it feels to have someone inside of you.

>>18540215

The first thing that comes to mine is perhaps stop going to the internet with the intent on arguing. This is less about the people online and their opinions and more about your inherent need to seek out conflict.

Stop coming here, anon. Its obvious that this anonymous cycle of hatred and conflict is not a mentally healthy thing for you to be doing. Its really up to you to break the cycle and do some hard introspection and ask yourself exactly why its so important for you to seek out this unnecessary conflict.

>>18540252

10 years is a long time. If it hasn't faded by now then maybe you owe it to yourself to try to get in contact with her and close this chapter of your life.

>>18540256

Can you elaborate?

>>18540310
I wish I knew what to tell her. We're both married now (she was married then). Probably best not say anything.

>>18540310
I often feel the proper course of action when confronted ith any kind of setback or dishonor is to resign myself to a permanent defeat that can oly be atoned with death or that my sloe purpose is to lay down my own life for others

How do I build a social circle if I have no friends? Going to bars alone and things like that seems too autismo for me

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Hey so, I hope you can help somebody out who's new to dating.

So I met this really awesome, really cute guy a few weeks ago. We've been on 2 dates so far (#3 is actually this Sunday), and I'm starting to notice that he doesn't take the initiative to message me at all unless I message him first.

I know he leads a busy lifestyle and I was prepared for this. He's actually very talented and is part of a semi-popular band in my area that has gigs once or twice a week. On top of that he teaches drumming, does a series of podcasts for said band, and does uber on the side. He also knows tons of people and friends and has to balance them too. I completely understand and respect his lifestyle. But, I'm also aware that if someone really REALLY likes you, they'll find a way to make time. So is he just really busy or am I just not worth his time?

I know I'm probably overthinking things. I've got a ton of anxiety and self-esteem issues that I'm actually going to see a therapist about soon, so this could all just be in my head. It's still really early as I've only known him for a couple weeks, so is that it? Is it just too soon for him to try to talk to me more? I thought at the start of liking someone, most people are thirsty af. Maybe he's just trying not to show it? He broke up with his ex recently I think, so I'm also worried I might just be here for him to feel less lonely or something. He hasn't made any moves on me, however, so it's not like he's using me for sex.

I don't know if it's ok for me to keep making excuses for him, or if he's in the wrong here. Like I said, I know he's busy and I expected this. It's just weird that he will absolutely NOT talk to me unless I talk to him first this early on.

>>18540422
I should add that I do see him pop on Facebook every now and then to comment on stuff or "like" them and then he gets off. Then repeats the cycle every so often. And last night when I messaged him he was in the middle of playing a video game.

I don't like telling people how to manage their time as I'm kinda bad at it myself, and it's not like I expect him to focus all his attention on me or anything. But a "hi how are you?" every once in a while would be nice.

Also, should I stop messaging him and wait for him to do it? I think he already knows how I feel as I'm the one who asked him out to the 3rd date - it's just his feelings that I'm vague about. But, again, anxiety and whatnot.

>>18540430
In this day and age I'm willing to bet he has his phone as a way to contact you on him 100 percent of the time. Also begs the question if you've had sex with him or not

>>18540310
I guess I'm frustrated because I don't have much control over certain things so maybe arguing online is just a way of venting and dealing with it. I just don't know if I should work on letting go of the obsession with control or just find other things to occupy my time so I won't care about certain things so much. It's hard because I don't think I'm wrong and people just generally piss me off. Sometimes I just want to go live somewhere alone but I'd get lonely but interacting with people just annoys me

>>18540437
Yeah, probably. And no, we haven't. We've only been on 2 dates - I don't expect sex right away. I usually wait until the 3rd date to even think about kissing/whatever. I'm extremely shy about those things, and don't want him to get the wrong idea.

I don't mean to play the gender card here or anything, but usually aren't the guys supposed to act first? I wanted to try myself in case he was shy or something, which is why I'm the one who asked him out on the 3rd date. But with kissing or anything else...I'm also not sure how to go about that, or when.

>>18540448
Yeah most guys would. Couple of options why not I can think of, is he shy or awkward when you're together? Have you blatantly said I don't have sex until later at some point? How did you meet him was it a show/bar

>>18540453
He doesn't seem shy. He seems pretty normal/confident. Maybe he's just really good at hiding that side of him and he wants to appear confident? Do guys even play hard to get?

I don't think I could just blurt out something like that, haha. The date on Sunday is a movie date. I'm hoping to scoot close to him and pray he'll at least put his arm around me. I'm terrified. I mean...will I have to wait until Sunday to really know how he feels? Should I just ask him? He hasn't really opened up at all. We've just been making small talk for the most part. Should I be expecting more or is that normal?

We actually met during Anime Expo at the beginning of this month, haha. We're a couple of nerds. At Anime Expo I'm more confident and carefree as opposed to how I am at home, where I'm shy and mostly depressed as I hate where I live and my family. Maybe he got cold feet after he saw this side of myself? He saw me a 2nd time during this party at a bowling alley and we were both pretty buzzed. He was much more forward then. Of course that was the booze, I bet.

I've been labeled a pervert officially because I let my pet lick my pussy and word got out. Half the time I feel like I'm being watch , so I don't trust anyone not even my family there all in it. I'm on a mission to find a new love because my old one decided to leave me by killing himself, so now add that to my baggage. Any chance I'll get a guy soon I'm 29 5'5 size 15 light skin and shy. Any thoughts?

Oh and I usually don't mine making the first move I'm kinda inpatient. I know most guys like to do the chasing but that's just the way I am I like it then I'll go get it.

>>18540461
Ah, sorry I worded that last bit weird. The bowling alley bit was also during AX. Here at home he's asked me to coffee and then a dinner date.

>>18539451
Nope not gonna happen

>>18539451
Ready my stuff

>>18539960
Right, sorry for the late reply, I had some shit to do.

I already told her how I felt and I was honest to her. She ended up just saying sorry and not meaning it

hey oldfag do you still talk with your childhood friends?