How do you deal with being a social failure?

Similar situation alhough I got laid, once. Never had a real gf tho. I just focus on self-improvement - getting next degree, searching for a job of my dreams (for now I just got a better paid one but well, maybe the new degree will help me out), and friends (got plenty of them - and a lot of female ones too, it's almost surprising that after spending so much time with girls I have no idea how to flirt. Maybe I should ask them for advice or something). Works pretty well.

>>18538718
400 bucks and a perusal through the erotic review will solve your virginity issue. I was recently a 29 year old kissless virgin until I hired an escort. Don't get me wrong: pussy is absolutely fantastic. However, it's not the mind blowing change your life experience that you think it's going to be. You're just putting your dick in a mucus lined skin sleeve.

This helped me because now I'm not really all that worried about women anymore. Their vaginas hold much less power over me. Go out, get laid however you want to, and don't worry about women so much. Women are dumb humans just like you so treat them like that and you won't have any problems. Yea they're gonna reject you... Whatever. Move on to the next girl. She's of no consequence.

>>18538842
Yeah but there's 2 things: I want the social aspect and feeling of having a gf/sleeping with someone who actually wants me more than sex itself and I'm reluctant of having my first time with a hooker. When you read some people on the internet, the majority of girls seem to have no problem with a guy being a virgin but think that losing your virginity to a prostitute is off-putting and fucked up.

>>18538884
Or you just don't ever tell them. Ever. As far as they're concerned I'm still a virgin.

>>18538884

It is pretty normal. I couldn't talk to girls until 25.

Regarding relationships and sex current society is so trivial. For some it is really pretty serious business, to pass your genes.

1. It is absolutely normal.
2. Talk to girls, find what really triggers you.
3. Be polite. Avoid toxic people just walking away

>>18538718
I try to become more social, I talk to a lot more people now, when I greet people I do the effort of saying more than just giving a generic greeting, I genuinely try to listen to what they have to say, and respond accordingly. I've also watched several videos on how to socialize and flirt, and while these things are not magical formulas that will get you laid and give you a fulfilling life, they have helped me a lot, especially when it comes to realizing the times I fucked up and why. And that is actually an important thing, you must learn from your experiences, and have the courage to accept your fuckups so you don't repeat them again.

I honestly don't try to think about these issues all the time, and there are moments when I relapse and feel terrible. At times like those, I just shut my mind and engage in whatever activity I have the chance to do, be it my job, shitposting on 4chan, playing vidya, working out or whatever. Maybe this is not perfect, but at least it helps me to stay content and cope with my anxiety.

But just consider that socializing is a skill, just like dancing or playing a guitar. If you aren't used to it, you will suck big time when you try it, but the more you practice, the better you will become at it. So try to make a genuine effort to get out there and talk to people, rather than staying in your current state.

U need therapy for the quickest solution to your issue

>>18539149
Well I had a period when I used a lot of such videos but looking back they weren't fit for me, I wasn't acting natural and was just repeating some patterns... Maybe they are useful as a guide but the thing that helps me the most is probably chilling (and not being a pussy when it comes to girls).

Yeah I do try to go out and improve but I might not be really efficient in learning from my experiences. Perhaps group therapy would help. I also want to join toastmasters later, I sort of enjoyed public speaking at uni, it was stressful and I wasn't the best but it always gave me an opportunity to challenge myself and come out on top. I actually was a leader of some student project. Didn't imagine I could do it but it went smoothly and I gave a speech in the end, was really tense but said what I was supposed to say and everything was a success.

I'm the same, it doesn't always bother me, but when it does I'm feeling pretty shitty. Alcohol seems to be a trigger, I'm often in a despair phase when I come back from a night out with friends or something.
>>18539132
Makes sense, is it worth it though? I know there are many girls out there who'd take me, it's just hard to get to them and make a move.

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>>18539633

Maybe it is hard because they are not what you are looking for. If social interaction is costly, people tend to be more serious about what they expect from a relationship and don't get along easily with a random person.

My experience is that, if a girl wants to "play", (she stares back to you, etc) just give her a try. Talk to her. 95 % of the time she is not what you are looking for or viceversa, but in the end you get to know women.

If things go wrong and it is a bad experience, good, it is OK as long as you have learnt something. You are simply paying your tuition fee.

Be polite, be careful, women are manipulative by nature. If something is wrong, just walk away. Don't try to change her. That is not going to happen. Learn from them about relationships, they know a lot more than persons like you and me.

Finally, be patient. Women mature a lot between 20-24 and near the wall, 26-30. Maybe your character gets along better with someone older, be ready for that moment.

And give a try to unexpected experiences. Extroverted women were too talkative for a silent person like me until I found one that really understood my silences.

A few quick thoughts

1. You need to desensitized yourself to talking with girls. Find something to do that puts you into contact with women regularly in a non sexual way. or go to bars/clubs 3 times a week and just try to have casual conversations with some girls, don't flirt with them yet. *bonus tip* start by talking to some dudes or ugly chicks to warm up at the beginning if the night.

2. Realize that most people are also insecure to some degree or another and are mostly just focused on themselves

3. intentionally do some ridiculous shit in public every now and then ( not necessarily somewhere you always hang out tho) then youll realise looking like a fool isn't a big deal at all so If you do try and make a move on a girl and get blown out, it's no big deal at all. I've done it many times lol

4. the culmination of the above 3 plus some other special sauce will eventually land you in idgaf mode: when in idgaf mode, you are out and about looking to entertain yourself without a care to other people's reactions and opinions. Your not trying to be an asshole, and have a friendly demeanor, but your interactions are determined by what you find entertaining, and you freely laugh off anyone who isn't also just trying to have a good time. *warning* idgaf mode can occasionally get you some really great and some really bad reactions. Most of the time the out come will be neutral or positive. but if you get a bad reaction, don't sweat it, it's probly not as bad as you think.

hopefully something there is helpful

almost forgot #5:

hookers

B

Your next step would be to rid yourself of your victim complex. That is what made me a social success after years of failure.

>>18538718
Don't eat the elephant whole.

Ask yourself, is getting laid going to help you get confidence? Probably not in the long run because you will end up killing yourself.

Work your way into a better life style one step at a time OP and things/opportunities will come to you. Don't be afraid to catch them.