Get it off your chest!

>>18538274
K is that you?

Got a yeast infection for the first time in my life and fucking christ this is shit. Having to shoot that little syringe of cream up my virgin snatch was painful as shit, and now 12 hours later I'm still leaking out cream jizz all over my pants. When the fuck is this shit gonna work it's way out? and I gotta do this for another 2 goddamn nights?
Fucking hell I hate being a woman.

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I've been suffering from a case of one-itis. I've only ever experienced it once but it was over pretty quickly since she flat out rejected me, but this time its been lasting almost a year now. I may see her again when the new semester starts so I can ask for her number then, but in the process my tastes in things have been shifting towards people like her. For example, I've been developing a blonde fetish and went from liking more energetic girls to stoic girls. I even had a dream last night involving me finding out she's dating another guy already because I was too much of a pussy to ask for her number when I had class with her and I was absolutely devastated.

This could end really badly or really well, but honestly I'm kind of enjoying the ride. I normally don't feel such strong emotions for other people.

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>>18538477
It sounds like having a vagina is horrible

>>18538489
Honestly it is. These things are so fragile. You know how I got this yeast infection?
Taking a bath.
Vag didn't like the new soap I was using I guess, threw off it's whole little eco system, and now I have to leak medicated cream out it for 3 days and hope that solves the issue.

I will not having my feelings be taken advantage of by you anymore. I deserve someone who actually loves me and shows it. Enjoy your life.

>>18538498
I hope you can look at it more positively, like you're a cute little Twinkie. Good luck senpai.

>>18538503
>twinkie
I lol'd, thanks anon. I'm like the worlds worst tasting twinkie though lmao.

I just really hope this is a one time thing and it was only a new soap that was setting me off, because I know for some chicks this shit is more chronic, and I've also heard once you get the first one it's all down hill from there and they become much more frequent and easy to get.

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I didn't land a date but I landed a casual hang out. I hope I can turn it into a date. Pls wish me luck (no need to type it but as insecure as I am I just feel alright knowing someone is wishing me well). My life was kind of crappy lately (I could be worse though), and right now I'm putting all my hopes into this one thing. I know it's unhealthy but I haven't found other things to care about currently.
Also even if this doesn't make sense, thanks to every anon and tripposter in general, /adv/ has been very helpful lately.

>>18538512
if it makes you feel better, I got a UTI (rare for dudes) right after I lost my virginity so at least you don't have to think "oh shit I got this from another person"
Good luck, hope it goes away soon

How did get it off your chest turn into a yeast infection and uti discussion?

Go to your doctors.

>>18538501
Do you spend all your time on /adv/? You've got way too much time on your hands, just get over them, yeesh.

Logic says I should break up with my boyfriend, but at the same time I love him and don't want to be without him.

>>18538543
"Just get over them"
Spoken like a true robot whoes never had to get over someone in their life. Not everyones like you bud, some people actually care about others.

Not even him but get your head out of your ass.

>>18538534
Hah yeah, I was talking with another female friend of mine for advice on what to buy to treat it, she told me she got a yeast infection at the same time as a UTI so I suppose I don't have it all bad lol. She said that was pure hell, burning while peeing and also the constant itching.

>>18538539
Already treating it lol. Just getting it off my chest how much I hate my vagina.

I wish I didn't want a girlfriend. I wish I wasn't such a socially retarded autist. I wish I didn't fit the shitty stereotype of tfw no gf. I wish that when I actually tried my hardest to succeed I actually succeeded for a change. I try not to be bitter about life but god fucking damn, I haven't got much reason not to be.

>>18538557
I've literally just guillotined a 5 year long codependent relationship with a guy I almost . had a child with, it'll be a month in two days. If I can do it, anon can too. Doesn't mean I didn't care about the guy. If someone treats you like shit, what point is there in mourning over them.

>>18538543
How would you recognize them and know they're on here all the time unless you are too? Their post looks pretty generic to me.

>>18538580
Those exact words were posted in the last GIOYC thread and the one before that. So like I said before, he can get over them.

>>18538583
There are many people going through the same shit. Doesn't mean it's the same person. Regardless, people cope in different manners. You're no better because you can get over someone quickly.

>>18538615
At no point did I say I was any better than anyone. (???)

>>18538638
>If I can do it anon can do
>You have too much time on your hands geesh

Yeah you're an ass.

I wish I didn't have anxiety

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I have ceased all communication with you and it's probably for the best.

Hey C. I swear if you'd just kept in touch with me, we'd be dating right now. But you didn't really do a good job of keeping in touch and now my feelings are starting to fade. Sorry if I never took initiative as well but you might've lost your chance. You have no idea how happy I could've made you.

>>18538684
Hilariously enough, I was gonna type this about my C just yesterday.

Only difference is that I unfortunately still have feels for her.

>>18538570
We're all the same in the end, anon. Just some lonely autists on the 4chinz.

Hi I read your page sorry if I'm contacting wrong person.

I live in the UK, I recently got a caution I'm on the sor for 2 years now for low grade c images on my computer from years ago. I understand my caution ( It just felt rushed like they were just checking a box, through out the interview about the caution I was told court would be bad and this caution is the best thing).

I'm getting some help from riverside(mental health), I have gender therapy which is on hold while I deal with my autism I've had my first screening, I do show many signs of autism, now just waiting for my first test in November. I have had some other therapy, I'm on some medication for anxiety and depression n sleep issues, plus waiting for a dyslexic test.

I have just had my first visit with the police at my home they went through all paper work documenting my computer, phone, people I know plus my sexual orientation and if any porn what type. They seem to some what understand my issues and they did talk about some support they could offer throught different groups. One of the worrying issues is they talk about turning up at my home without notice (we worked out a compromise with them texting me first if outside)

It's just all a lot to deal with mental health issues.

I have emailed multiple people n groups just looking for some advice/support really.

>>18538702
Damn man. Hope you get your C. I don't really think I have a chance anymore but it's nice to have different ways of releasing. But truthfully my feelings would come pouring back really easily if something happens.

>>18538673
Why is it for the best?

>>18538642
Merely a blunt positive reinforcement, you're retarded if you see anything I've said as anything but desu but that's cool, whatever.

>>18538713
Long-distance relationship. I won't do that any more.

>>18538673
initials?

>>18538749
M A

>>18538465
test

It's depressing to watch someone make the same mistake over and over again, promising that they'll improve, and never do. I get onto my mom about this every now and then, and for a moment she'll appear super guilty about it and not really caring about her children, and she'll say it's not acceptable and act super stern and resolved, but the next day she's still watching TV with her mouth half-open. After a certain point, it looks really silly, and you can even pinpoint the exact phrases of the cycle. You'll say "It's fine, but..." and she interrupts with "It's not fine!", and then the car goes silent. After a while, you've got to understand that they're not going to change.

Some people are like that, I guess, but it's still depressing when you know the cycle and watch it play out before your very eyes.

I'm so fucking sad that we aren't communication like we were over a month ago

I've been texting you for way over a year, all those times you told me you wanted me, guess the mistake was thinking you meant it even though you tried it with your ex a 2nd time

I'm shitty with words, but i want you, i want this with you and i believe that in time we could build up something wonderful fuck i've always been the quiet type

Why won't you accept me as your boyfriend, why is this all suddenly too much for you and you're getting distant with me, why do you hate all those things about me

I just want to be with you, even after those mean things you told me and now it looks like you want to break up

Fuck this

>>18538745
>>18538673
LDR here too, i really don't want this to happen even though it's looking like that

I really don't

Every day I go through a mental struggle to convince myself I'm not depressed. It's so tiring feeling that I have to fill my head with thoughts and work otherwise I'll slip back into depression. I want to die so I can be released of this exhaustion.

>>18538465
Why ask me for 3 diffrent communication methods and ask me out to later not respond once I get there, I would not even care if you got cold feet and just cancelled instead you waste my time and energy.

I guess that is what I get for interacting with women.

>>18538789
I don't know how that feels from a 2nd person perspective, but from what I've seen of my friend's and family's reactions to my own vicious cycle I bet it's horrid. I'm not gonna turn this into a pissing contest and say that it's harder experiencing it firsthand, that shit never helps anyone. But if I'm honest, they can only really help themselves, but it's a matter of realising that themselves and accepting it. Or at least that's my two cents on it. I hope this isn't all guff and at least helps in some way, or that you feel better that you aren't alone in feeling this.

>>18538807

Yeah, LDR when I'm living on welfare isn't a great idea. I also don't like flying. The good thing about LDR though is that you won't be seeing the other person by accident if you break up.

>>18538827
2nd? I mean 3rd (I think? my brain is pretty fried tonight, apologies).

I have a girlfriend and I should be happy with her, she's a lovely, fun girl, but I feel like we don't connect deeply enough

and yet this other girl it feels like she has feelings for me, but I don't understand why she would because I'm nothing special

but we're the same personality type and I can imagine us having a really deep connection which is what I'm after

but real life doesn't work that way and there's nothing I can really do, but I feel her pain.

I know deep down she's unhappy

but I think it's stupid to think I could make her happy.

>>18538827
It's completely different if you're actually trying to improve, and not just putting on a show. That way, even if you screw up, it's pointless to blame you because there's nothing more you could've done. Like, if you're taking some advanced level math course and you just can't keep up, there's no sense in blaming you or getting upset because it's past your capability. But for someone to not even try - that's the sad part. As long as you're putting in something, I wouldn't feel upset with you.

>>18538543
BEEP BOOP GET OVER IT

>>18538841
plus to be fair, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. and she might not be who i imagine her to be. even though i know her fairly well. but i either have so much more to know, or i know nothing

We are starting to get along well again. Hopefully this is a sign things will eventually go back to how they were. I miss doing things with you H. I want you to be mine again, and mine alone. Fuck that other person, they can't provide for you like you know I can. I hope one day soon this rift will heal and I can have you all to myself again.

>>18538553
Logic?
Mind explaining?
Seems like a tale to listen to. Perhaps we can learn from this.

So I had this girl in my group of friends laugh at me several times through the night. She brought her asshole boyfriend and they laughed at me together.
Once one guy was talking about a person with two of his fingers cut off and I sort of automatically extended my two fingers before me. Those fucking monkeys sitting at the other end of the table parrotted me and laughed to themselves. Like what the fuck? I know I'm pretty awkard but that wasn't even worth noticing, really made me feel like shit.

>>18538805
I like the part where she didn't tell you she fucked me again before coming back to me. I wanted her to break up with you first you know. Be nice to you, but nah, she pretty much hopped on my cock and told me she loved me. I wonder if you knew that, if you could see it in her face, that she fucking cheated on you. Just like the last one did.

>>18538465
My best friend just took off to South Dakota out of the blue, and it really hurt. What do?

>>18538841
How long have you been dating your gf? A deeper connection will eventually form after the honeymoon phase/surge of hormones wears off. "Grass is greener" syndrome also usually crops up around this time because your partner's flaws become glaringly obvious and the lust you feel towards a crush can make you doubt your relationship. Just keep in mind that if you have an otherwise happy, healthy, and loving relationship you'll likely regret ending it in the search for something better.

Its a long story but I'd appreciate any sort of criticism I guess.

A year ago I tried to kill myself because of a girl. It was a stupid situation that got out of hand. 2015 During highschool I liked her a lot. I would try to talk to her a lot and she thought of me as a good friend. I ended up pushing my feelings on her and she cut me out of her life. A month later in December I wrote her a letter saying a bunch of sentimental shit I cant even remember anymore. She reconnected with me in January 2016, and she had a boyfriend then and I was supportive of them. Until they started having problems. I was her shoulder to cry on. Looking back on it now I think I was using the situation for my own selfish needs. Because I liked her. After they broke up I went hard, I went back to my old ways. I was pushing my feelings harder than ever. She started ignoring me and I was getting stupid depressed because of it. I ended up trying to take my own life and she was cut me out of her life because I was negatively affecting her. She woudlnt be able to eat, she couldnt sleep and as she described it "I made her life a living hell".

Several months passed and I had a gf now. I ended up calling my gf the other girls name. Me and my gf went on a break because she wanted me to tie up loose ends with the other girl. So I went and I texted her. She said she was happy that I found someone else and that she thought of me as a true friend which is why it hurt so much. She said she had forgiven me.

Cut to the present. My gf broke up with me 2 months ago for unrelated reasons to the previous. I got depressed and got drunk. I ended up drunk texting everyone in my contacts including the other girl. It didnt say anything much just like "Youre a good person I hope you have a happy life" and shit rambling like that.
The other girl gets upset with me. She acts hostile and says that she wants me to delete her number. I'm taken back and I'm like why are you mad the text didnt even say anything bad.

>>18539029
She says I made her life a living hell and that she hates that Im bringing her in on this drama with me and my ex and that I triggered her memories of the past when I texted her.

Now I dont know if I'm emotionally withdrawn but I was just like get over it. Am I wrong? I admit what I did a year ago was selfish and wrong but its been a while since then I've been going to therapy. Why is she so upset? I thought we squared this away awhile ago?

Am I wrong to be laughing at this situation and think shes an idiot for living in the past like this? I tried thinking empathetically but I dont know it just seems so stupid to me. I really feel like I might be withdrawn or theres something wrong with me because of this.

>>18539005
Nearly 10 months now

I've always felt this connection with this other girl, though really I know it's just in my head.
She was a massive oneitis around 4 years ago but I accepted nothing would ever happen really.

it's stupid how I haven't gotten over it really - it should go away now right? She used to really dislike me since I was a creep pretty much. And now she's completely changed her tune ever since my current relationship. It feels that way anyway.

I won't do anything about it, I'll just let whatever be to just be. It doesn't really matter what happens. It will be nothing and I'll most likely just stay with my current GF.

I fucking hate you faggots for having the time to earn platinum trophies in my favorite games, if I had 1/10 as much free time as you faggots do I'd be way further in these games, but I'm overloaded with PhD related work.

Will you ever do what I asked
You god damn kid

>>18539053
Eventually...

>>18538477
Yeah, I don't know how all your hoohas work.
This is why I'm proud to have a penis
>low maintenance
>quick, easy, precise cums
>comfy underwear that covers whole ass
>only real problem is walking everywhere when erect
Ahhh~
The only time to hate being male is during our age of oppression, but even then having this comfy dick of mine cum at the slightest touch? It's the greatest thing in the world.

My heart broke in half today. Not over relationship things or any of that, but something else. I feel horrible....

>>18538871
I'm sorry you had to sit through that. Is it possible to cut ties with them, or at least limit how often you see them? You get nothing out of being around people who treat you like that. After all these years I still regret wasting my time trying to figure out why my old friend group suddenly turned on me and my buddy instead of just dropping them right as they started acting differently.

J, I really like you a whole lot.
I understand you're not ready for a relationship yet and that's totally understandable. I respect that. I just have anxieties of my own and need to learn to calm down.
You make me feel happy. I would be very happy to be your girlfriend in the future. Even if it takes until I go see you.
Just please give me a chance.
-A

So Chester from LP killed himself. It's a bit sobering to hear. It's been a while since I listened to them, but I remember listing to their stuff when I was going through some rougher times. Well, not that things are better but I'm alive I guess. In a strange way it's painful for me. It's a reminder that no what matter what you achieve or gain, no matter who you touch or become the fucking pit is there to pull you back in. Waiting to devour you again. Wait until you just fucking plunge in and do it.

What's the point of pulling yourself out if you are never truly safe from it?

>>18539095
Man, I wish this letter was for me.
I know a cute A myself that I'd gf instantly if I had the time

>>18539143
>>18539095
A Love Rival

i haven't had sex in over a month i'm fucking dying. i need some pussy soon

>>18539135
Same, S.

>>18539143
A's are all fucking sluts lol

>>18539220
You're a slut for saying that

>>18539220
>>18539223
girls girls!
let's agree to disagree...
you're both hot sluts!

>>18539235
Finally some recognition!

This silly little question has been bothering me for about a month now and I dont' really understand it.

I've been getting closer with this girl at my college (I'm a guy). She told me a few weeks ago she considers me to be one of her best friends. I can tell she's being genuine when she says it, and there are things she'll do with me she doesn't do with most other people which reinforces it. Some would say she's normal I guess, and I'm awkward, though not a complete social retard. I've just been finding myself fixated on wondering why she finds me so damn special, and whether I should ask about it or if that'd be just be awkward and not go anywhere. I like her a lot, and being able to hang out with a close friend often during the summer til the semester starts is helping to make this a more enjoyable time.

The insecurity on why people like me isn't new. I've always just shrugged it off by asking myself why I like X. With the other people I could put in a best friends list, I've found them more relateable and I guess they're the few people I've never had to question. She's just so social and open about everything and I feel kinda dull and stuff. Plus when we're in groups of 5+ people, I kinda just go drift off to daydream land for most of it while she has fun talking to everyone. Like if they're all so much more talkative than I am, and with more topics relevant to your interests, what makes me so special? I mean obviously I'm putting way too much thought into this but yeah gitoyc and all.

>>18539218
To be honest I give little about celebs. But like the shaking feeling of being on the roller coaster of depression for years. The constant ups and downs. It eventually gets to be too much.
It's weird. To the point that I teared up having all the dots connect. Hanging? No person deserves to go that way.
Maybe I'm still too soft. Maybe it's just a reminder of the times I have though of it. Doing it.

Fuck depression. Fuck out weak ass understanding of the human brain. Fuck.

>>18539267
It's going to be alright. I do not judge. What you're feeling is your symptoms of your illness which can be treated if you take the proper steps. It's hard to have intrusive thoughts and coping with them so they don't become unhealthy obsessions. Let it out

Everyone told me that writing a letter to my ex even if I wasn't going to send it was going to help me move on.
I was already moving on just fine but everyone insisted.

I agonized 5 pages of a letter and when I signed it I couldn't stop crying. How the fuck is this suppose to be helping? I haven't cried this much in months. I want to see her more than ever. This is the worst thing I've ever done.
Who's idea was this?

>>18539319
Writing is therapeutic. It's okay to cry when there are still unresolved feelings.

>>18538465
I'm so sick of how disgusting people are, always sex, drugs, tatooes, parties, etc. I'm so fucking sick of these people but there's no escaping them. I hate most people so fucking much that I want to just opt out of society.

I made that car crash, Zippidy Doo-Dah! Tina isn't here anymore also, this the beginning.

>>18539360
How would you opt out? Living in a forest off the land? Not judging

I wish I could have communicated better with M. It's been a month since we last spoke. I know they don't care and I should move on but it's hard to when you're still thinking about the lack of bond and the what could have been.

Admiral Vernon Rum tastes fucking awful, as expected of the guy who managed to lose most of his 30000 men strong fleet against 3000 spaniards and 600 natives with bow and arrow

>>18539181
>over a month
>i'm fucking dying
Cute.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beAshcMNTrk

Vid relevant.

I... threw away the pamphlet a black Christian gave me on the street... He saw me do it.

Guys I'm a virgin help me get laid before I turn into a wizard pls.

>>18538469
No, I'm sorry.

>>18538465
The only thing that's keeping me from breaking down is the thought that maybe you've found someone who makes you happy. I obviously couldn't. I'll always be here because I've loved you for so long I don't know how to do anything else.

>>18539319
yeah that's why you don't tell anyone your business you sensitive dolphin

>>18539623
lol ok rite

>>18539643 fuck off... why would I even want someone to hang around if they're not happy? It doesn't mean it's easy for me to accept.

>>18539505
Guess I'll just kill myself.

why haven't I walked yet?

because im scared of breaking her heart?

all the shit ive been through in the last 4 months, from coming across tinder convos with other guys (After she told me to delete the app), her lying about being in contact with an ex girlfriend (whom she made out with at a party I was at), being shady as fuck, lying to me just because she was afraid of hurting me, etc....

and im scared of hurting her?

the fuck is wrong with me

>>18539712
You need to leave her. If she gives you too much stress then you better well off without her. She most likely still cheating on you.

>>18539623
Why couldn't you make them happy?

The person I loved for the longest time told me I couldn't make them happy, even though experience says otherwise. I've met a bunch of people, none of them compare to my oneitis, no one ever could. I think they've met others to fill the void I left, younger and prettier or older and richer. It sucks not being able to get what you want and what feels right.

You ask me to hang out later, then hang out with some one else. Why do you always do this?

How am I supposed to find a hobby if I hate everything?

I read through these threads looking for anything that could possibly about me so I can pretend that someone else is thinking about me.

I know no one is actually posting about me but I like doing it anyway. Don't know why.

>>18539815
well now i'm thinking about you.

>>18539815
i do the same thing
always hoping to find someone from my past shouting out into the void for me
waiting for me to hear them calling

The amount of people who take and steal from me is incredible. Must suck not being able to think of your own shit and surviving off of scraps

>>18539886
Same, but let's be honest, none of our real-life friends and shit would show up here.

I can just shout "CHRISTINA, I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" and while there would be like, 15 Christinas, none of them are mine.

Life is beautiful that way, as it just means we could just get away writing vent letters as no one except 17 million ghosts know this place, much less enter /adv/, MUCH less enter this thread. It's fucking great!
You have to intentionally bait someone to get here, that's how you would ever summon an anon from your real world.

>>18538465
camilla, why did you do this. i genuinly thought you was the one i would have children with.
im not looking for an answer, in self aware enoughto know that it wouldnt have worked between us, because it wouldnt work when i moved, we suck at being apart, and thats why i want to thank you for this learning experience. now ive truly felt what a heartbreak is like. and it changed from am i ever getting better, to am i ever gonna find someone LIKE you, to im going to find the perfect match for me, i'm a lazy guy, and you hated it. i'm going to suck it up and own the fact that i'm a lazy fucker, i want to make everything easy, and the next girl on the list is going to accept that.

The sea is disgusting, fish have sex in it.

>>18539982
>THE AIR IS DISGUSTING, FLOWERS BREED IN IT!
>THE GROUND IS DISGUSTING! SQUIRRELS FUCK IN IT!
>THE CAVES ARE DISGUSTING! BATS FUCK IN THEM!
>THE ICE CAPS ARE DISGUSTING! POLAR BEARS FUCK IN THEM!
>THE VOLCANO IS DISGUSTING! ISLAND NATIVES HOLD ORGIES AROUND IT!
>MY MOM IS DISGUSTING, SHE-oh wait hang on...

I lie a lot.

>>18539991
You're right
I guess I'll just kill myself then

>>18539969
You're lucky, wish I could do that. The person I like doesn't have a common name.

>>18540005
You'd be surprised how common unusual names get. I've seen several Zekes, three Dags, a couple Keiths, six Lupes, consistent mentions of a lady named Princess, and the list goes on.

Either way, I bet he/she won't see this site either. Like, statistically, it's impossible for a totally rare name to come here. Even if you think he/she/ does? There's at least another person with that name.

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>>18539998
You know what, I like you.

I feel as though I'm going in a different direction as my "best friend" (now roommate).

We've been friends since we were 10 and close since, but out personalities are so different I'm surprised we've been close friends for this long. Now that we've been living together as, the differences are more accentuated, and I find myself hanging out with him less and less. We're in our mid-twenties and I feel like I'm growing in a different direction that him (I already feel like a douchebag just saying that).

TINNITUS IS A BITCH

SUCKS WORKING IN A FUCKING LIBRARY-LIKE ESTABLISHMENT WHERE YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LISTEN TO MUSIC

KILL
ME
NOW

I would never cheat on my girlfriend but I really like it when girls are clearly interested in me. Makes me feel like Im not that fat bowl cut kid I was in middle school

I hate that my therapist is literally a 40 second drive to my ex's house. Everytime I go I feel tempted to see her. I miss her so goddamn much.

I should have realized this from the get-go, i'm a huge sucker who always thinks they can help a person. This person I had met at my former job and began to almost feel bad for them because they were disabled. A year or so later I began working for him as a caregiver, everything was fine until he started to withold hours from me out of spite, and even scheduled me once and then shortly after and then proceded to give hours to other staff members before me. He was full of his own drama and liked to treat staff unprofessionally before I had worked there. And by unprofessionally have sex with them. You never see someone's repeat behaviors until they start doing them to you. I ended up quitting the job, and left on pretty bad terms with him exchanging low blows. That was until I found some pretty nasty info online about him. This person is the kind of person that makes conservatives blood boil. He is the kind of person who uses EBT at whole foods. The kind of person who finesses a local college to take him in and pay his expenses and provide him an easy job without taxes, without him even trying in his academics. This is also the kind of person who would end up killing two friends of his by willingly getting behind the wheel drunk and lies to everyone saying he was framed by someone else in the car that night and have no remorse for the human lives he took. I don't want to do anything illegal, just put him in check. He enjoys using people for everything they got. I have the source for what he did, debating if i should blast him to the college he attends.

TLDR; I want to get back at a co-worker but I don't know what to do.

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I hate reading. My class's teacher has assigned us to read a book during the summer break. It doesn't sound so bad, but I just hate reading. I'm reading a T H I C C book as well, The Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason. Even though I'd already read a quarter of it and rage-quit, I still have to read 4.1 pages every day. While some pages excite me to the point where I accidentally read too much, most pages bore me to tears. Sometimes, I have to reward myself for reading half a page. This isn't good for my intelligence, I need to learn to love reading.

>>18539993
I know that.

Its my birthday today and my gf just sent me 'happy birthday ruv' and that was it. I'm seeing her on saturday for presents and stuff but thats literally all she's said to me today. I don't know why but it kinda bothers me, like she couldn't ask me how my day was going or even call me.

>>18540089
That's better than me. My gf didn't say anything. I had to ask if we could facetime the night of my birthday. And even then she didn't say happy birthday even though I knew that she knew. Then she broke up with me a few weeks later. Keep your head up. Atleast you still have a gf.

I took too long to chose and I lost both of them.

>>18540113
Ouch thats rough man, hope you're doing better :)

>>18538465
If I did something wrong, I wish you'd tell me.

>>18540138
Maybe one of them is still holding the torch, you never know.

>be me
>basically go through the same stuff as pictured in 500 days of summer
>apparently met Autumn now
>girl is really similar to the "Summer" I had before her, even their height and haircut is the same

Don't know what to make of it, just getting it out of my chest really

>>18540180
You should stop being so dramatic about that shit. Stop viewing people as characters in some half-baked romantic comedy. It'll do you good, trust me.

>>18540186
He's right. Try to view yourself as a Gary Stew in a sitcom where everyone there is a character of their own!

Think of yourself as being part of The Office.

>>18539991
Hehe.

>>18539993
Stop this bad habit. You're going to hurt a lot of genuine people.

>>18539678
Kl

She agreed to see me alone and I can't stop thinking that somehow there's something wrong. It's like I've jumped into a different timeline where not all women avoid being alone with me like the plague. And I feel like the universe is fighting back against this anomaly.
I get along with women alright but I never managed to get someone to agree to hang out only with me for a while. I guess I'll find out what's up when the day comes.

>>18540186
>>18540218
I know I came of cheesy af in that post, but really, it was just to make a tl;dr instead of going through everything

I... was 3 hours late for work today.. no one noticed.

Hearing the news of Chester from Linkin Park. It got me to look into that small box in my closet. I still have those cds you made for me. The maker you used fading. Your hand writing on the stickers, a small window into the past. And you, telling me that you couldn't believe I still had the cds. Of course I would, that music was a part of us. It meant something to us back then. It still does now. I stopped listening to it for my own reasons. You listen to it still as an expression of the pain you deal with. Me? I stopped because it reminds me of the shit I dealt with. But, it means the same to me nonetheless. The cds? I keep them because they were a part of you and gave it to me. It hurts to look upon these now, a bittersweet memory. Not sure why I keep them, like the part I have for you in my heart, I don't think I could ever toss them away.

It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced-
And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?

>>18538465
I want to marry a cute virgin girl, but all women are whores.

I hate being single. I just want to be embraced.

Kill me.

>>18540682
bet you aren't a virgin yourself lol

Over half of celebs with Bipolar disorder keeps on killing themselves or hit really rock bottom. I'm starting to lose hope in myself.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

I'm trying REAL hard not to be a needy person but

NOTICE
ME

Talk to me dammit. Show me you're still interested before I lose my damn mind and drown in assumptions.

Hey mate, over the years you've become more and more of a piece of shit, glorifying wealfare and minor theft like they're badges of honor, treating your mates like they owe you shit, being an arrogant and selfish fuck, even stealing from your friends and the list goes on. Yet there i am for you, a long 'friendship' of you constantly going through 'hard times' and suffering from 'when will i catch a break' syndrome and me just waiting for you to handle your shit because i know what you can be. But I'm getting tired, I've been tired for years, making face, lying to both of us. I'm sick of it. I let myself get dragged into your shit, why? Is it because i am the minty chocolatey goodness of a white knight, or coz i don't want to believe that my now once 'best friend' is now a stain in the lives of our friends, and i seem to be the only one that won't cut the bad fruit from the tree. /facepalm #faggitorydetected.

I'm so sick of this shit.

>>18540796
I can't help it man. It's a lifelong mental condition. I really hate myself for being such a piss of shit. I really do, but you have no idea how fucked up hard it is. I'm really sorry for all the shit I put you guys through, but honestly you yourself lack insight. You're an asshole but you can be really sweet. Man fuck you for judging me, ya bigot. That's how it is.

>>18540818 #

Mike...?

>>18540849
Hahaha no, but he might have the same condition.

>>18540818

I can't help it man. - yes you can.

It's a lifelong mental condition. - weak excuse.

I really hate myself for being such a piss of shit. - if you realise it, don't hate yourself, change.

I'm really sorry for all the shit I put you guys through. - thanks, but your words a meaningless without action, plus if it take someone to confront you to apologise, you yourself lack insight.

You're an asshole but you can be really sweet. - confirmed.

Man fuck you for judging me. - No, fuck you!

ya bigot. - maybe, but not in this case.

That's how it is. - AIDS is how it is.

I feel so weak and tired lately and every little ache I have has me believing I have a horrible disease. I have no motivation or drive and just feel like crying hysterically.

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. My parents are fed up hearing about my pains and worries

>>18540879
Fuck you, it's not just something like "urgh I'm bored" or "urgh I don't feel like picking out the trash" kind of shit, It's fullblown compulsive behaviour, complete lack of self control. I need goddamn medicine to maintain myself, even with that it's hard to go by. You have no fucking idea.

>>18540902
Well fucking get medicine if u need it, and maybe therapy too. Stick with it and get yourself better. Stop being a 'poor me' faggot and avoiding your issues.

I feel for you, and that's my problem, you need to figure yours out and act on that shit.

>>18540935
Stop pissing me off with that shit, fuck stick. I already have that shit!

>>18540956
And with that attitude you always will.

Hope you get better one day, keep trying to get your shit together fwend.

Thanks for the chat anon. You've helped me find some clarity.

>>18540965
Yeah me too, single serving friend. Don't put too much heart into your friend. He needs some space to meditate himself. Don't mock him for who he is, he will get seriously triggered, give him space and let him handle his own shit.

>>18540979

I'll take your word for it.

Thanks.

Much love.

God I am so unhappy in my marriage. I'm thankful that both of us are willing to try, especially because we have so much at stake, but fuck. I wonder if it would be best if we just went our separate ways? Maybe we rushed into everything, we've both talked about it and agreed we should have waited. But if others have worked through it, why can't we? Sometimes I'm really sad that he just casts aside my feelings when I'm telling him that I feel unappreciated. I cook, clean, do the laundry, etc, not because it's my job, but because I'm trying to do my part during summer. But I can't even get a "wow babe! This tastes awesome!" when I make an alfredo from scratch. Nah, I get a "not bad".

And what makes things worse is that there's this ever lingering threat that he'll just up and leave me. If I'm not satisfactory in looks/performance/upkeep, he'll say he "deserves better." He also just told me *again* that he dislikes that I have bangs. Ugh, Lord give me the strength to keep it together for my beautiful child even though he act like he don't want her sometimes

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Hey Addi I know you hate t when I send you these links and make you rummage through all the other posts just to get to my feelings because I'm a cunt who doesn't directly talk about my feelings but I do want you to know how I feel. I love you more than anything and you are the most amazing thing ever. I love you with all my heart and regardless of when I overthink things and feel like you are avoiding me you tell me you love me more than anything and I instantly become happy. I love you and if you've rummaged through these posts to find this one it just further proves you're the best girlfriend I could ask for<3

>>18538465
I gave up on getting a girlfriend.

fucking kek. you guys did it all. the dedicated autist, the security, the research. idk if you saw anything I posted or if you guys are more in tune with everything than maybe it seemed, but that's awesome. and that feels like a ton of stress off my shoulders. not gonna lie, I'm a bit of a worrier, with some things that happened I was definitely feeling worried about everyone's safety. I mean still a little bit, you never know what can happen, but now I don't feel like I'm gonna hear bad news any day, you guys have what you should need to stave off the people coming at you from all sides.

that sounds like so much fun. I wish I hadn't gotten hit so hard and failed so hard over here so I could be there.

I wonder if I can help push funding a little from over here though, I'm sure that kind of organization and all that prep cost a lot, that's going to be a point of weakness that will be exploited as well as it already has been.

I've really fallen here. I was so close, and then I thought I could salvage everything and adapt fast enough and maintain momentum... everything has really gone to shit. nothing is how it was supposed to be and I can't see a way back as is. I'm basically starting over again. that's what I realized today. I was trying to be stoic about it but that's the reality. I have to start all over again.

and I have to move again cause I've got people on my ass somehow and the only reason I haven't gotten hurt is I'm an incredible actor so no one is ever sure I'm who they're looking for.

honestly everything is not going well and any time I get things together to gain momentum, things get worse. it's at the point now that I really don't know what to do and the only part of my life that is intact and that I'm not completely rebuilding is my anon life. instead that's just stagnating because I don't have time. someone was showing me some programming stuff that would take things up a notch and I just don't have the time. someone else was trying to get in touch through some seriously cryptic and coded shit sent through some insane means... I don't have a few days to sit and crack it and hunt them down. so it's all the same but that's shit too because I need to be progressing or I'm going to get caught out.

the weird thing is I still feel calm about everything except what's going on with others. I can fix my shit, but my shit not being straight right now means I am a liability for others if they need me and that's not acceptable.

captcha can go suck a dick.

seriously, how the fuck did you get a key to me that way? also, patrician tastes dude.

I still don't know what that goes to though. there's a lot of things I've wanted a key to in the last year, there's a lot of places I could go with a key, how the shit am I supposed to know what that goes to... is it in the thing? is that what happened? I'll look into it.

right now though I'm going to sleep.

google needs to fix captcha. it's gone retarded, and its being super annoying. either they started with a fresh AI, they pissed off their AI, they had to cripple another AI, or something went down completely. but it needs to be fixed.

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Yo chick, I don't care that you don't talk to me online anymore. Shit you don't really owe me shit since we just met a couple of months ago, but like can you at least tell me why you've decided to ignore me?

Like you're the one who blew me up with a shit ton of messages and you invited me to a couple of skype calls with your friends and said I was cool.

Did I do something wrong? If you want me gone just say so I won't cry about it. I'm just honestly confused.

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I wonder what my life would be like if I was more mentally stable in stayed in college instead of dropping out day 1 back in 2011 due to having a mental breakdown. Instead I was a shut-in NEET for 5 years, just trying to find myself in haphazard ways.
I'd be in grad school right now for starters, but who knows where. I wouldn't have gotten into weebshit, and wouldn't have picked up Japanese as a result. I learned self-discipline through self-teaching Japanese, but I wonder if I would have learned it in a different way. Some weebshit really influenced me, and I became someone who truly wants to love people and humanity in general. I wouldn't be nearly as close to my dad, we bonded a lot over the past 6 years. Same with my little brother, who really does need some proper guidance in his life.

Sometimes I feel like I wasted those 5 years of my life, that thanks to that I would be 27 when I graduate and it feels like I wasted my youth. On the other hand, I truly believe I got good foothold into understanding myself, and without it, I'd wouldn't be as interested in developing emotional intelligence and interested in other people. In the coming years, I'll probably learn even more about myself, and I'm honestly looking really forward to it.

I'm sorry for the way things turned out between us. Sorry for pushing you to the edge of sanity with all my bull shit. I mistreated the one I trusted and loved most. I'm sorry for not taking the time to understand you better, but how can I understand another when I can't even deal with myself? How can I comfort another when I can't even save myself from the fear and constant feeling of dread? I'm sorry I was so weak. I still am, but I am trying. I am trying to pull myself out of the storm, guide myself out as I try to follow the flashes of light you provided. You are gone from me, it's too late to salvage this. All I can go hope you pull through, and that I find a stronger self inside. Maybe someday the strange currents of life will pull us together, maybe not. What ever it brings, I hope it's happiness for the both of us.

I miss you. I probably will for long time, if not till I'm gone. I love you still. Sure, our relationship wasn't perfect, but it is something I will cherish.

>>18541647
What happened anon?

>>18538644
So do I and probably everyone who has it. Just recently I could not sleep for 2 days because of stress and anxiety. Had to go get some Xanax to chill my ass out enough to get some sleep. That shit works great for me, just gotta be careful to not overdue it.

I'm scared. I need an answer soon. A plan.

I don't know where I'm going.

>>18541652
Lack of communication. I was too absorbed in my depression that I couldn't listen. Or wouldn't. So I became neglectful.
In a way we both lost ourselves and we split up to go some growing up. I wasn't just me fucking up but I caused most of the issues. I wad too impatient, at times too needy. I lacked the confidence to deal with a relationship. When we meet over ten years ago we got along great, we built trust so fast, and things were good. Fairy tale almost. Then, I changed. I got deployed to Iraq and I became paranoid. It wasn't her fault, but wasn't aimming to return alive. I did return. But not quite the same. I became abusive to her, not physically, but I know I hurt her mentally. The closer she tried to get, the more she tried to help, the hard I would lash out. This went on for years. I knew I was doing it, but in was powerless to stop it. She kept trying to help. We had broken up once before, but she continued to be for me. At the time I couldn't see what she had for me, nor could I express my true feeling to her without the words coming out wrong.

We gave it another go after that, but I wasn't quite stable still. It was better, but the damage i had caused her and us was showing. We didn't trust each other anymore, not as we did before. Maybe I was over thinking things, but I could feel the rift growing. I became scared. In my panic to save the relationship I warped into someone else. This time I was too needy and unable to understand the problems we had were adult issues now. I would always try to communicate, but she was always busy. It made me paranoid. It are at me, and about half a year ago, we made a move that changed the both of us forever. I had suspected she had become pregnant. She denied it, but in the end I was right. We both panicked, and now it's gone. Next month I would have been a dad.

I wish I would have been stronger to see that she too was panicked. Neither one wanted to see how we changed, and in the end it cost us.

>>18538465

I was willing to forgive you for anything but you never intended to extend that same mercy to me, no matter how bad I hurt you and how much you've hurt me, I was ready to turn the other cheek. I know you can't stand letting go of your fantasy in being treated like a princess with a guy who met you when you were drunk and on a wounded wing, but when you do, you'll come back, and I won't be the same kind, gentle person. I'm harder of the heart for what you did to me, you spoke of commitment and family but all you really care about is you, you're a nihilist, you don't believe that life has meaning except the pleasure you can extract from it. I may feel as if I've lost something but that's because parasites and their hosts are symbiotic.

>>18540750
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NamhMQUp8no

Chester Bennington's suicide reminded me of my deceased friend... hit me right in the feels. Miss you bro, RIP

>>18540682
I'm a born again virgin, 6+ years. I don't want a man whore. Goodluck

I didn't work this hard in I.T. to get treated like dirt. Been looking for a job for 4 1/2 months, been on too many interviews to count, all end the same way

>we really like your personality, as a matter of fact we can't stop fucking gushing about it! But we've decided to go with someone with just a leeeeeeeeeeeetle more experience

I know my shit and am sharp as fuck. I'm also 26 and a native born white dude. I'm sick of hearing the same fucking shit about why you won't hire me, no matter the position

>just a leeeeeeeeeeeeeeetle more experience
>just a leeeeeeeeelte more

fuck off, I'm going to a bitcoin conference on monday, if you fucking faggots won't give me a job I'll just go full blown cypherpunk on the technology that is going to fuck all your lives up.

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I am tired of this passive aggressive behavior of my grandmother. I can't believe she still has this power over me, making me feel miserable like back then when I was 7 or 8.

She must have some mental illness, the tiniest thing can make her go off. She just searches for the right moment in the conversation where she can twist my words to make it sound like i personally attacked her.
I would break the contact completely off but I'm the only grandchild that hasn't abandoned her, I always try to give her another chance and be nice to her just to get this passive aggressive bullshit in return.
The rest of the family seems to go with it, guilt tripping me if I don't call her or visit her.
And after every visit I cry, sometimes picking up courage to tell my aunt how miserable I feel and get no sympathy, instead she tells me "well you gotta earn your rightful place in this family".
I'm never good enough for this family no matter how much empathy I show, they are so deep in their own misery that they eat up my heart and spit on my soul to keep the family tradition of hate going.
And I try to shrug it off but it's so damn hard not to be sensitive over this.

>>18538465
I dont usually post in these threads but recently I've noticed that almost everyone i cared about or had feelings for have completely abandoned me

>>18538465
I do a lot and I'm irresponsible. So I screw over a lot of people. I uplift a lot of other people too.

I am done pretending I have a solid moral foundation. I am manipulative. I am disingenuous. I am selfish. I am also capable. I am adaptable. I am understanding.

I cannot fix what I broke. I will neither undo what I have built. Apologies fall on deaf ears. On the other side, admissions of my own guilt are denied.

But it's unsettling when I realize that despite how bad things have gotten, that I don't want to change ways. I have to be ruthless to get ahead, to survive, to help my friends. I am indeed selfish, and my friends' welfare are a large part of my self-interest. I am not afraid of making enemies to get what I want, whether or not it's actually good. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sometimes, being who I am is even fun. Doesn't that sound sociopathic?

People watch me masturbate.

It's kinda weird.

Also, I liked that girls dress. She should have kept it on. Would have been hotter.

>>18541912
>I have a solid moral foundation
you know the weird thing? this is not mutually exclusive of the rest. people wanted me to learn about muslims, I learned about taqiyya.

no one irl knows that I lead thousands upon thousands, maybe more, there's really no way to tell. I find myself thinking differently these days too, as someone that can project force into the world to change it.

nearly handed someone to the wolves yesterday, instead I'm going to take care of something on my own that will make me a lot more local enemies but will make life better for citizens.

it doesn't sound like you know what the word selfish means.

being who I am is always fun and there's nothing sociopathic about it. a sociopath doesn't feel emotion and does indeed do everything for selfish reasons. I always feel emotion and I do what I do for greater purpose, often to my own detriment. on the regular I find myself sacrificing for what I do.

yin and yang. similar and yet not, with a little of each contained.

>>18541942
yeah, she should have.

I want to kill myself. It'd be easy by carbon monoxide. I can write delayed goodbye texts to my mom and husband since i cant write by hand well. and to husb's bff so he knows to come help. pay off my debts and transfer anything left to our joint account. leave my garage door opener taped outside so the medics can get me out without harming the house, also make sure they dont let the pets out so hub only has to deal with a little loss. clean the house really well first and donate/throw away all my shit. i dont want to be a disappointment and a burden anymore.

>>18542108
why did your husband marry you if you're such a goddamn disappointment?

>>18542119
forever alone

Texas Dallas USA
I'm waiting for your message

I just want something to go right for me.

I kinda hope we get back together one day
I know it's been nearly 3 months and you moved on in less than 3 weeks but I just wish things could still work

I have every reason to hate you
And so many people say you're crazy

Idk anymore god I just wish you would've talked to me

Yet again I just feel lost and confused:(

Please just tell me what I did to make you do it this way... again. I tried so much to be good to you.

yall need a disgustingly messed up person to tell you how to dress proper.

I'll teach the world how to style.

I'm sorry for being such an asshole some times. You didn't deserve that. I tried my best to stop acting like that, I tried to understand. You were my second girl in my life. And I hate my life some times. I knew I shouldn't be starting with a relation until I was happy myself, until I had my life in order. But I couldn't stop myself as you are amazing. I'm sorry for not being that active on Whatsapp, giving you the feeling I didn't want to talk. I feel so bad that you cried on your holiday because you thought "why doesn't he reply, why won't he talk to me, I don't get it". I'm sorry for being late at times. I tried to explain why I have a hard time getting on time, you know of my health, but I don't want to find excuses. It is what it is. I'm sorry for being stubborn. I don't like Facebook and I only use it for business. People don't have to know who I'm dating. But to you it was a sign of me not being in love, not being happy with you. This is not true. I shouldn't have been stupid and just changed my status to in a relationship with you. I'm sorry for saying "I'm going home" while not meaning it. It hurt you. I just wanted to be at home, because I felt down, this was not your fault. I wanted to be with you, but also wanted to be at home. It's stupid, I know. I should have listened, you communicated and all I fucking did was being a childish adult.

It's too late and I hate realizing what I have done. I lost you. I love you. I hope you will find someone who will treat you the way you deserve.

>>18542141
Message: I Care.

>>18538570
I'm in the same boat and would talk to you but we'd both probably sperg out somehow and drive each other away.

>>18538570
I used to be you
It sucked
Then last year I got a girlfriend and it really fucked me up when she left

Just focus on yourself live and let live

And don't envy others because I got what I want and I'm still sad about it

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>>18541683
Holy fuck. Are you me?

Whenever I let my dogs out my elderly neighbor teases them from behind her side of the fence. She only does it when she is sure that I am not out there. I catch her doing it sometimes and she always stops when I do. It makes my dogs go CRAZY and difficult to call inside, pisses me off because my one likes to sunbathe and I don't want to be out there all day, wish she would just fucking mind her own business.

>>18542234
May I hear your tale friend?
Perhaps hearing that I am not the only one like this could help. Any opportunity I can have to learn to improve, I will take.

>>18538465
Fat, balding, unattractive lol seems like you'd try to work on that shitty personality of yours. Sucks to be you.

I've found nothing worth living for and I'm done looking. I don't even want to "get better" at this point because that's always just false hope that ends in dissapointment.

I've decided to accept my mood will swing from neutral to depressed my entire life, with rare and short tem happiness spikes thrown in.

I've managed to overcome a lot of personal/professional challenges but still feel the same inside.

I'm crushed by my loneliness and have no one to blame but myself. I burnt every bridge I had because I was too scared people would hate the real me, so never gave them the chance to see it.

I love her so much, but the amount of stress that her mental issues have put on my shoulders is too much to lift. I'm struggling to hang on. I just can't handle the constant back and forth. I miss the days when she kept a lid on some of it. Now I'm always stressed and always unhappy, even when I'm finally alone and can spend time on my own terms. I can't even vent to my friends because they've all made it clear that they don't want to hear that shit. So I'm really alone.

Why do I worry so much, nobody no matter how close to me is going to feel what I'm going through, I should man up and take life head on, and rest when I want to, all things come to an end, no matter how much time I spent at them, I shouldn't get attached to something for long.

Im just a fucking pussy i should fucking kissed you we had that "one moment" and i didnt took the chance
Now your gone for 1 month and now im stuck in an emotional rollercoaster i dont fucking know if i just wanna bang you or gettin in an actual relationship

I am so confused. I guess the joke of about men never understanding women is true. We had a big problem split up apart and instead of talking about it. It really seems like imaging it never happened is the best course for us. Fucking weird, I'm glad to have you back, but it's just a weird way to go about it.
Eventually, we will gave to talk about it, but not now. I want to enjoy this, I have miss it , but most of all, I missed you.

I have to wonder,
You other celebs, "Artists" and the like.

Are you jealous?
Why the fuck would someone like me be given the world to rule.

You deserve it more, don't you?

I always suspected that my mom was on hard drugs. A friend was talking about how construction workers often also deal, and I knew about the weed, but that doesn't explain away her mental breakdown and teeth falling out. I want to help her so badly, but I don't know everything. And neither does she. I remember things she doesn't, like how she got the head trauma. But she's convinced she's some sort of cyborg that unknown doctors experimented on. I know she's not on hard drugs now, or at least not hanging out with drug addicts, just in full blown paranoid schizophrenic meltdown almost all of the time.

I want to message my ex stepdad and confront him about it, ask if she was on meth or coke or something. But I feel sick just thinking about talking to him, nevermind about all of this... I want to help her so much but I don't know how.

I don't fucking care that the Linkin Park singer died and I think it's hilariously ironic.

There. I'm fucking done. Am I terrible? No, I'm fucking tired at how this shit's spreading.

Oh by the way, M, I'm getting real tired of you fucking ignoring me when I try to make small talk and a joke. You're fucking terrible and you making fun of C's accent is starting to piss me off.

Since you're literally depressed I hope you go the way of Kirsty fucking Ally. That would also be hilariously ironic and that's at least one fucking target down out of like, 3.

I just want to work in peace and not have dread and hatred within me every day I live, god fucking damn it. Sure, I can just waltz to any other place and get another job instantly basically, but I'd much rather stay for just a bit longer and fucking rest once. After total mastery here, then I'll go... unless you 3 targets get put the fuck down like you 3 should be.

If you 3 are put down faster than I can get a new job, so the fuck be it, I will be happy for once.

"...shell of it's former self."

Yeah, and whose fucking fault is that?

Fucking assholes. End this already.

Stop being so triggered by facts. You are just not as bright as the superior gender, science supports this obvious fact despite society pretending it isn't the case
Science is suffering due to this pushing inferior people into these fields over the deserving superior gender
Practically everything you have now is thanks to this superior gender
Leave progressing the human race to us and focus on your virtues, being the foundation for family and raising children
You despise each other and rely on us as it is to rally do anything
Oh and please stop pretending you are on the same level in athletics or deserve the same pay when you can't generate income and rely on being funded by what male teams earn

"gee, we set him up with a girl to fall in love with only to take her away. Also, we cut him off from the rest of humanity, prevented him from earning any money, and literally torture him continuously.

Why is he so depressed? Why doesn't he get better?"

Uh
durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

>>18539808
Get off YouTube you virgin

>>18539808
I hate literally everything and I have like... a hundred hobbies.

I'm bored out of my god damn fucking mind though. I hate everything.

You need to message me first babe on you

I'm not pissed and angry at you you need to get that thought out of your head

I'm sorry for being so needy.

I'm on my Summer holidays. I'm 20 years old. I don't really have any friends. I'm mainly addicted to 4chan and online multiplayer games, but I still try to read books every now and then. This is done more out of duty than a genuine passion for literature though, I don't really enjoy much these days or have an overarching goal to strive towards.

My youth seems to be passing by me, and I feel very unfulfilled. I know this is the case for thousands of people, but I want to be one of the lucky few who have a woman, a social circle, and a reason to get of bed in the morning.

I don't really know how or where to meet people who live near me. I have very few meaningful relation ships. Even posting this text box on the internet is pretty futile gesture. My youth is passing me by. I'm wasting it. Before I know it I'll be a thirty year old man working pointless blue collar jobs, still playing computer games in the evening to fill that empty void in his life. The future is looking fucking grim right now. Sometimes I think I should throw out the PC and join the army. Sometimes I wish I lived in an American country so I could buy a assault rifle and end it with dignity rather than going quietly in my bedroom.

My mum and dad seem to be getting on with their own thing, and i don't expect them to help me (how could they?). I never got much from them in the way of life lessons or morality though. They grew up during the Thatcher years and acquired a vague feeling for socialism and voting for the SWP, but this was never delved into on an intellectual level. There's tons of books about leftist literature in the cupboard yet neither of them have read any of it. I remember attempting to ask them more about their poltical beliefs when I was 16 and it was pertinently obvious, even at that age, that they didn't really know what they were talking about. They had no coherent system to view the world, only nebulous slogans. Nobody knows what's going on in the world - even mum and dad.

>>18542863
>>18542855
>>18542845
I think you're gf isn't here.

Just how long have you been talking to other dudes this whole time? And why do you keep saying you love me and are grateful for me? All those late nights with us talking about things and me opening my heart to you never really meant shit after all, did it?

That dude wasn't around last night at the concert so you flipped through your rolodex of guys only to land on me because im a fucking sucker and cave all the time.

Enough is a enough and I really don't have much of a desire to come around much after last night. Shit, at least go take a piss break to talk to guys on tinder instead of right in front of me.

Good to know what I mean to you, just another guy to hook up with. Honestly thought his was going somewhere in the right direction but thanks for wasting my time in the past few months. But thank you at the same time because now I can finally get my shit together and truck onward.

You people are fucking wolves, man.

Oh and PS: You want to talk about having good friends and being upset when they screw you over? What the fuck are you doing not telling your best friend that one of your other friends has been fucking their boyfriend this whole time since they both moved in? None of your business maybe, sure, but what a good friend you are, eh? One of your best friends is fucking your other best friends boyfriend and you don't say a fucking thing?

Leave me alone, please. I don't want to be around you people.

Shit, we all have anon.

I lost mine to a prostitute and I don't remember it.

Fucking what is life.

This is why I said I'm afraid of you.

>>18543237
What happened

>>18543240
Fell in love with someone I shouldn't have.

>>18543246
<3 <3 <#

>>18543246
Why shouldn't you have?

I've been trying to get Grimes to fally in love with me since like... 2011.

It hasn't worked out yet.

>>18543253
They're too good for me

>>18543268
That is stupid, have confidence in yourself.

>>18543268
DId you try make it work?

>>18543271
I'm actually very confident just not concerning them.

>>18543277
Most people feel that way when they meet someone they really like. Just keep at it and you'll do fine.

>>18543272
Yes, I tried to show him that I cared. I feel a bit better now just talking about it. Thanks <3

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Man, now I figured out the reason why I don't trust girls

The girl I was deeply in love with when I was 17, who was also my best friend who I lost my virginity to, turned into an absolute slut and fucked a 30 year old man

I never admitted it to anyone because it's embarassing but boy did it fucking wreck me, this was 2 years ago, made me fall into alcoholism and weed, turned me into a crazier motherfucker than I was before

I will never trust a girl again after this. NEVER. It's not that she's done it, it's that she lost all fucks to give and did what every other girl wants to do if there were no social consecuences.

I have no problem with girls in life but in intimacy & relationship they disgust me because of this thing that happened. It hurt me so fucking bad, and so did I for never wanting to admit to myself that it did.

I want my copy of Consider Phlebas back.

Earlier this week my step-mother asked if i remebered staying at my fathers house for a couple of years as a child. I told her that i did not remeber that at all. Both her and her daughter tell me how we spent summers together and we played together with my dad. Fast forward to yesterday and my dad teel me about his reationship with my mom and how terrible it was.They never married and was stuck between 2 homes. Now I finished talking to my mom and my step father about my childhood and they give me a completely different story. I never left my moms side and everything I was told by my father and step mother was a lie. I am now stuck in crossroads. I love them both, but one of them is lying. It is hurting me to choose. Both have evidence of their side of the story. I can't remeber none of it. This sucks.

I feel kinda bad for almost leaving this person's car when I scratched it by accident but I did end up paying for it. Anyone else can relate?

Still having insomnia over ww3 potentially happening. I know it sounds stupid but I can't get it out of my head.

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I just want someone to talk to right now. Honestly. I've lost a lot recently, and I just need to get it off my chest to someone.

I feel very little in general.

Dont mind being left on my own to my own devices its how things have always been. But Lately I have started to feel a bit of social pressure about never being in a relationship.

Dont get me wrong I get drunk on weekends, end up with a qt and than after a week just sort of discard them or they me and Im just like meh.

Im at an odd point in life where people are starting to get married and ask about my own plans,when I look at myself I start to think is there something that off about me? Am I not trying hard enough and what would I even do if I stumbled my way into a relationship.

Just rambling about my problems more than anything.Easier to think them over when written down.

I need money to sustain my addictions, I need the addictions to stave off reality, and I need to stave off reality to make money.

This is going to go in the far edge of edginess, but I want off Mr. Life's Wild Ride. I'm fucking done suffering so I can just sort of hope shit gets better. Or working my ass off to hope shit gets better and I get noticed.

I got a fuckin' kick in the nuts as a kid and was done back then. I've just been plugging on because it would be selfish to do anything else.

But isn't it selfish to ask me to act against my will, too?

What the fuck do I do when I'm just constantly unhappy? I don't even do shit anymore. I just sit and stare at my computer like some sort of retard fuckin' zombie. Nothing appeals; I have no ambitions, no goals. I did try to have ambition, once, and everyone just told me to find what I'm good at and make money doing it.

But if I bring up my conundrums, I usually get ignored, cried at, or told I'm selfish or just too young to understand. (My favourite was 'have kids and you'll understand.' In this day and age? No. In my frame of mind? Fuck no.)

I want off Mr. Life's Wild Ride.

>>18543353

Talk, I will gladly listen... I'm no stranger to loss and I know what it's like to feel as if the world's against you.

>bought tickets to see a movie
>went with a group
>one guy bought multiple tickets
>didnt really have the money to spend on IMAX
>refunded my ticket
>used the QR code he sent to our group text to get in for free
>told no one
Should I feel bad? I'm just relieved I didnt spend $30 on movie tickets.

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>>18543353
this is the thread man. People are always lurking and reading these.

Normally come here when im down and the answers given are normally either helpfulish or at least can help look at things in other ways.

>>18543376
Firstly, I have anterograde memory loss, so I have an incredibly difficult time creating new memories. This was the result of a car crash from a few years ago. I've been planning on running away to my gf. I am currently in my parent's custody although I am 22 (this is because of my memory loss). I'm not entirely sure how long they are going to keep me around. So, my gf is kind of my refuge at this point. She lives a few hours away though, and I think she is leaving me. We planned to do a lot of shit together when I move in. But, I think this might be it. I've suffered from a few alleged mental disorders, and, I just don't want to do it anymore. I don't think I can.

I miss talking to some random chick I gave my phone number to over fucking 4chan.
I doubt we even texted for 6 months before I fugged it up.

I only miss her cause she was so like me. But much more mature.
She didn't want another one of herself I guess.

>>18543386
Thank you.

My face disgusts me and I'm ugly. I don't feel like i'm looking at myself when I look in the mirror.
It's crippling me in all social interactions. Especially when I see the look of disgust on peoples faces when they look at me.

>>18543395
what happened?

>>18543403
I've already posted about it, it started with something about my memory problems. I was in a car accident.

>>18543394

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but can you possible explain that a little more personally, the memory loss?

Are your possessions worth a lot, or are you mostly out with the clothes on your back if you go?

I don't mean to discourage from a plan of escape, but do be aware that costs tend to rack up far quicker than money tends to. A good plan is humble and accounts for more costs than it needs to.

>>18543403
Our conversations got insanely personal. There was a big difference in maturity.

The feeling is likely one sided. I miss it, but she likely does not.

>>18543362

26, not married, no plans. Can't imagine having kids; fuck, man, this world is already piss-fucked up the shitter and I'm a white man to boot, so any kid of mine going into the world (assuming even just nine months from today) will be prejudiced against and probably suffer far more than I did. I couldn't imagine.

Relationships are a lot like sandwiches. Everyone takes theirs 'just so.' You can't let social pressure dictate a relationship because you *will* end up with someone who brings out the worst in you, eventually (at least I did but yeah)... it's more important to be happy for yourself. And that's a skill you need, unfortunately, because few are the people so willing AND able to simply make another happy as well as themselves.

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<3

>>18543394
Dam man,do you still have all your old memories?

Might be obvious or already said to you but could you try keeping like a diary or notes to help you?

>>18543413
Anterograde memory loss is the inability or difficulty to create new memories, and, I'd pack up for it and drive. And money? Well, she works at a bar. $20 an hour. And I just do stuff, I make wooden pots, I write music, I've sold a few drugs, I just make shit and sell it. So, although unstable, we still make money. Even if I didn't have money, and just went without any possessions at all, this is my only option. I can't get a good job, my parents take my checks, and it doesn't matter where they hide them, I won't remember where. So, I do this or I die.

I think my gf is making the decision for me. And if she does, I can't forgive her, she kept me from doing so in the past, and is the reason why I fear death now.

>>18543432
I do keep notes, and I have my old memories. My car and my room are both covered in sticky notes.

>>18543425
I do get what you are saying and yeah I am pretty content with myself. I just wonder if someday it will all come together rather than me watching other people build their lives wondering why I couldn't be more like them.

Just an ugly thing that sits in the back of the mind you know,everyone can so easily seem to slip in and out of relationships while your still falling flat on your face at the starting line.

Some days cant give a shit but every once in a while I get that pang of aww man another year passed and you havent gotten the last bit of your life together.

Just dont know fellow anon I would be fine if I had a sign saying yes you are out of the race and I could just stop. As it stands I keep trying and everyone still keeps harping on about how easy it is.

>>18543401
same here! if i catch myself in the mirror, it ruins my day

>>18543461

That really depends on how subscribed you are to dumb shit like horoscopes, astrology and a general notion that we aren't just genetic vomit produced by a series of statistical improbabilities, given infinite time to fuck up and start again.

That ugly thing that slips into your mind is life. It is the realization that the idea of 'meaning' is entirely human-wrought. It is the knowledge that you are neither significant nor impactful; you will at best be a footnote in history and inevitably, become a joke of your own expense. Life is not a 'thing;' life is a moniker we tacked to what is really a few glorified rounds on a treadmill. Your significance, if any does exist, is beholden to the unstoppable movement of time.

Your life will continue to pass for years and years and sadly, you're just going to have to sort of realize that importance, 'getting together' and all that sort is really just on you. You decide what any of those are, you define them personally. There are people who are happy living homeless out of trash bins; there are people rich, married and with successful careers that both offer lax downtime and challenging, engaging uptime who will never be happy.

I'd think a lot less hard about the philosophy and a lot more about what does make you happy. It's as facetious a feeling as feelings get-- there's no 'grade' to happiness, no specific sort of way it's supposed to be.

>>18543435
It sounds like you might want to make some sort of backup plan in case of your girlfriend... it's a dicey situation to rely on another person but it sounds like you're no stranger to that at home.

Are your cheques (presuming disability?) able to go to direct deposit?

>>18543437
I wont lie to you, That is some awful fucking shit. Id never heard of it before but was just reading a bit about it there.

Your parents take your disability checks I assume as rent or for caring for you?

At least you still got rational thought.

You gotta think of a few things though,How much care do your parents give you,Will your gf be there for you if ye move out?

What happens if ye move out she breaks up with you and you get stuck in a city you cant remember?

I feel genuinely sad for you,Its a really crap situation

>>18543432
Basically, I either live on the streets and die of starvation or get jumped or most likely kill myself, or I live with my gf. But I think she's taking that option of living with her away. The real kicker is, that I don't know if she will or not, and it's fucking killing me inside to think about. My life is in her hands, and I can't even reach her, and I can't tell her how much damage she is doing, and, I don't know what to do.

haha I'm this close to being a petty bitch and say no even though I'm able to do that favor for you. You can't make time to for me but you sure as hell have no qualms about asking things of me. Alright.

>>18543432
I'm on my own, other than a place to sleep. They don't do anything else. If she breaks up, well. I'm fucked, but I'm low on options. Yet again, I didn't come here for advice, rather, I came to feel wanted, so, thank you for that.

>>18543481
Ah, she texted me back. She said she loves me and that she'll still be available. So, I think the odds are in my favor, for now, at least. Honestly, that feeling of relief I just experienced, I hope I never forget that.

>>18543481
Oh, hilariously, I forgot to mention something, I have no idea what they do with those checks.

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>>18543494
>>18543501
>>18543511

Well whatever you do man,Hope it works for you. Wont be anything near easy.

I hate it when I get these depressive drops. I feel like ripping myself apart. Like sinking my teeth into my own arm and ripping the muscle and tendon away. Digging my fingers into my chest and prying apart my ribs. Scooping my insides out. The pain is in my head but I want to destroy myself and just fucking bleed out because I'm so exhausted from living with this.

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>>18538465
I realized something, last year when I was out hunting with my dog.
I immortalized my father.

I gave up firearms for compound bow and arrow to give more of a chance to my prey more of a chance.
As I bagged small prey and made camp, laid there with my dog. We slept head leaning to head. I realized I am bringing true what my father taught me long ago.
His teachings, his guidance, it all culminated there.
As I woke up, so did my dog, and I shared some tasty morsels with her, by the campfire. As the early winter snow fell around us, so did the bond between a hunter and his best friend.

Its not bagging the game
Its not getting to carry a weapon
Its being there
Just you
At that moment there is no outside world
And I truly forgot what was out there.

I want to go back there, and I am depressed knowing I have to return.

>>18543527
Oh, no it won't. But, thank you. Besides, it's not like I can complain too much, I couldn't have had anyone else's life. Well, actually, that's debatable. My consciousness could have theoretically been in any other body, and yet it went into mine. So, I guess I have every reason to complain then, eh. I don't know.

>>18543547
Anon I hope you're getting help.

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>>18543484
Hey, not sure what you're going through because your post is very vague but it isn't really that petty discontinuing to do favors for people who won't do favors for you or spend time with you. That's reasonable. Good luck, stay sassy

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>>18543547
I enjoyed reading this way too much....anyways, please get help

>>18543559
man complain all you want here,its an escape from the need to be constantly cheerful around others. Just vent and vent until its just all vomited onto the board. Than it gets deleted,youll feel better if only temporary but thats better than feeling shit all the time.

>>18543599
However true that may be, letting it out only programs the mind into continuously acting that way when responding to emotions.

>>18543599
And I just did.

HEY ERIC GUESS WHAT I LOVE YOU kthxbye

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>>18538465

i hate my fucking job. i'm always either stressed out or bored out of my mind

but the people are pretty cool and it allows me to live comfortably. i don't make that much, but i can afford a 1 bedroom apartment and a good bit of my paycheck is left over after all of my expenses each month.

with my current degree i can't really get a job much better than what i have. i just feel kinda stuck.

wanna make me feel better?
tell me you fucked with a condom and you didn't get his fucking cum inside of you.
as it stands your got your sugar walls painted white.

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It's been over a week since we talked.
>I'll talk to you in a bit
It's been over 6 hours. Why do I even try?
I know I should be patient, but damn. How long does one have to wait?

>>18543698
just leave her, cuck.

>>18543721
lel, we were on a break while this happened, I don't care what she did before she meet me.
I just want to know if she got cum inside her pussy while we were a part.
I can move past that.

I wish my brain didn't go all stupid when I see you, I just want to talk to you the way I can talk to you in my imagination.

>>18542350
Initials? The odds you're him are so slim but I'm always afraid of burdening people especially those I love :(

What's the point in texting me out of the blue if you're not going to respond back to me? Just leave me alone.

>>18543556
I need to get the fuck out of the city and reconnect with myself on this kind of level.

I want to ask you something,
and for the love of god I want you to think long and hard about it.
do you think I would treat someone I want to be with the way I treat you?

>>18543698
>sugar walls
>hodgetwins
Yes

If she fucks you w/out a condom she probably trusted his pullout game, too

>>18543765
>saying it on an anonymous message board thinking they're going to read it instead of shutting the person down to their face

tough guy

>>18543703
If it's been over a week initiate contact yourself. Maybe you're smothering them and I say this because you're coming off as needy on here. If that's your significant other you need to tell that nigger it's their job to be there for you

>>18543765
This: >>18543769

>>18543747
What are the chances they even come here? This site is filled with too many shitposters for you to have your hopes set this high. You're most likely not even a burden; if you are it's because of your refusal to seek help to cope with your problems.

>>18543769
>>18543773
>say it get it of your chest
I think you missed the point of the thread dumb idiot.

K,
You act like your interested in me getting my hopes up then when i reciprocate and you say no. It seems like your playing hard to get and I am tired of that shit. If I wasn't crushing on you so bad I would've told you to fuck off a while ago.
A

I'm drinking again. When I drink I talk to myself incessantly. I need to talk, need to express myself. Just because I am alone dosen't mean I should supress my own voice. So i'll sit here and have a full conversation with a TV set. Because I need to feel words leaving my throat.

>>18543765
why are you treating them bad?

>>18543800
1. they invaded my private life
2. they humiliated me
3. they used me

also it helps me cope, so I don't take it out on somebody in real life.
gotta keep that autism in check.

>>18543796
Initial?

>>18543767
point is, I want to know if she got his cum inside her pussy or not.

>>18538465
E,

Do you even care anymore? I thought this was going somewhere, but now I'm seeing the past two and half months fading into obscurity. But I still remember how I felt and how much I want that again. How much I want to tell you how much I care. But I don't want to show you my vulnerable side because I'm pretty sure you would just tear me down, you seem like that type of girl.

Fuck this sucks, I seriously don't understand why you got so cold towards me. Maybe I'm just too stupid to see the signs. Just tell me straight, because I'll interpret your hints in 50 different ways and I'll opt to not say anything.

M.

Once the abortion was over- I got the depo shot or birth control shot. My first method of birth control EVER. My first dose was last week and I can already feel my body changing. Hormonally I don't feel in sync with the seasons of the earth and my bleeding is unpredictable which I don't like because my periods before the pregnancy were very precise, peaceful, and let's just fucking say ON POINT.
I haven't bled yet since the abortion bleeding ended and I'm sad and angry and frustrated as a woman that heart mind and body are out of control.
I've always been natural and followed my heart. Which is how I got pregnant ! - it was a surprise yes, but my body blessed me with that pregnancy. I want to apologize to my spirit and temple and not take another shot of depo, praying I return to the way I was prior to getting fucked by that asshole.
Any advice ?????????
Xoxox
Fucked

Anybody else can relate to this?
No matter how you look at it in the failure of me and my siblings my brother is really smart my one sister is a social butterfly who did all these sports my other sister is really good at video games and that sorta stuff and I'm here working at a shit hole job dropped out of college because I knew I'd fail I'm just the failure child who is broken I suck with people I'm like average at best intellectually I'm overweight I never feel actually happy I minus well just end it all

>>18543780
I don't have high hopes, I said the odds are slim. Asking for anyone's initials on here is like buying a lottery ticket, you most likely won't win but it's fun to pretend.

>You're most likely not even a burden; if you are it's because of your refusal to seek help to cope with your problems.

I'm going the self-help route because of personal reasons but I don't feel like I've made much progress. If anything I feel like I've regressed. So I feel like I'm a burden during this period of time that I'm mentally struggling but trying to heal.

Sorry for the blog post... I mean, I guess that's pretty much what this thread is for, but I'm sure (you) and everyone ITT probably couldn't care less and have stopped reading at this point.

>>18538465
I'm 23,
I'm in a very high paying career,
I work out a shit ton and am pretty jacked,
I can take care of myself unlike most single dudes (cook, clean, etc),
I don't spend my money on stupid shit, so I have a lot,
As far as I can tell I've got a 6-8 face,

Aaaaaaand I'm I'm thinking about an hero all the damn time since women won't even give me a second glance
I don't even know what the fuck else to work on about myself to make myself more appealing, and feel like I've fallen for some grand lie that not letting yourself go physically + going somewhere in terms of work will make you a man women want.

I wish I could dream up some edgy "poetic" way to do it, then I might actually convince myself.

I want to eat more. I've had only 6 cookies and a sandwich today, but I feel totally full to the point of discomfort.

>>18543788
Okay. Well, why don't you talk to them? We understand how your post relates to this thread

>>18543849
I tried, they ignored me, pretended not to know me.
besides, they troll here, they will know it's of for them.

>>18543852
I see your point, kameraden

K,

We seem to share some similar interests and values and I think you're really handsome. I wish I had the guts to message you.

J.

>>18543840
try to be happy without the need for validation

having success is great, but relying on that for your good emotions will hold you back.

for example if you try and use success as a way to gain validation from a girl, in most cases the girl will feel repulsed. when you judge everything about yourself, how can other people be sure that you won't judge them?

try being able to just feel a situation out rather than constantly trying to reason logically about how to make a girl like you. really if you want to improve with women you need to interact with them, and from every interaction try to learn something and try something different next time

i wish you knew how much i cared about you back then. i'm sorry i was shitty at showing it and i'm sorry if i made you feel neglected but i was dealing with my own problems. i know you'd been hurt by someone before me and i wish i could've taken away every bit of pain you felt and made you completely happy

i just wish you could've given me one more chance now that time has passed and we both have clearer minds.

>>18543842
Eat 2 sandwiches less cookies. Sandwiches should be pb&j unless you are like me and prefer meat and a shitton of veggies. Almost like soobway.

I'm done with you. I'm tired of putting myself out there for you, then you only disappear. I'm done being just an afterthought to you. Fuck you. All I ever wanted was to share my time with you. You seemed to only want sex, at least that was when you were happy around me. Otherwise I was just there. In your way.
I wanted to be a part of your life. Not sure how much you really did, but it's not apparent now. Just when ever it's convenient I am yours. Otherwise fuck me right for wanting to spend time with the one I loved. I'm fucking sick of this. It's been years like this. Each time you make promise and never keep them, or you completely deny you made them.
Your words mean nothing to me now. Stop telling me that you miss me, stop apologizing for shit you will continue to do every time. I'm done with you. I'm done hurting like this.

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>>18538465
almost every month i have gotten these weird nightmares where i see certain people in my life which i feel i left down in my life and they say things i thought/herd from them and i feel like a piece of shit whenever it happens for example : "you will never be anything in life" "why wheren't you there i needed you" "why didn't you say something" "if you had done something before this would all be diferent"
some of these are from a long time ago i know well that i cant change the past yet i cant let it go i just wanted to have a happier story a better time yet i know i can't achieve that

I love you

i loved you i cared for you and what did you do in return love me? care for me? no instead all you fucking did was treat me like shit , use me and hurt me in front of your friends because they thought it was funny and when im distancing from you all of the sudden you get emotional what the fuck is wrong with you all i ever wanted was for you to be my friend and you couldn't even do that because of your shit friend's but who was there when your brother died,who was there for you when you needed it? me even after all of that you still went to the same people that hurt you over and over again and you still do only the next time you get hurt im not going to be there for you

>>18543965
Go on

so today my brother asked my why I a an atheist. truth be told It was because I had to deal with pedophilic urges, and no matter how much I prayed , no matter how much I fasted, I never got better. then I realized that things only get done by human hands, and miracles are bullshit. I ended up saying nothing to my brother.

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>can't even get a single reply on dating website

I'm so worried and there's nothing I personally can do to help the person I'm worried about... If everything fails on my end then I'll be able to help them, but I don't want this to fail. I think it will at some point though...

>>18543884
Initals?

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>>18538465
fuck
i have literally never been in a relationship, or had sex at the age of 22,
im not rushing to get married or anything, but i still have only gone on unsuccessful dates that have left me bored, hurt or some other shit senpai

like with emily, i had an amazing first date with her, but then we both fucked it up, she canceled on our second date last minute , and i got pissed at her for that, then she fucking ghosted me because of it, i havent talked to her since, this was 3 years ago. the damn shame i could have fucked her too, she was leading me very strongly in that direction, she had a "pear" body type with an adorable face, blonde hair, not to mention a legendary thicc ass.

i never really dated rebecca, even though i could have, she was into me, but i was not about her. she thought i was so hot i remember that.

desu tho, i totally had the opportunity to fuck her, but i was too damn high to be horny\
i was at her house with some of my friends, having a smokeout, she was in this outfit that was showing off her tits, i remember that, because she had large tits, and i nearly saw her nipples a handful of times because she would bend down and shit like that, and right around 10pm, my friends left her house, and it was just me and her. so, being oblivious as ever, just chatted with her for about an hour, then left, got some steak and shake and went home. looking back i could have told her to do anything to me and she would have done it. i could have had her fat ass and huge tits in my face and had her pussy on lock but she was too moody for me. i just didnt feel anything for her excpt for lust. maybe i should have fucked her, but theres no way to go back in time and change that. ah well

i mean virginity isnt that important in the long run, but ill be damned if i dont want to fuck someone sometimes.
jacking off is too damn predictable and it makes me feel like a damn failure

idki just need feel the need to be reassured and loved, maybe even more than sex

You did this
You dragged all the goodness of me out into the open and killed it in front of my eyes
You left me with nothing but seething hatred
You ensured I would end up destroying and one day killing myself
It's your fault
And I hope that knowledge makes you follow in my footsteps

A lot of people say that I'm handsome and I caught some cute girls eyeing me sometimes but I'm way too socially retarded and insecure to approach them or say something interesting. Seriously I feel like my mind haven't growned passed 13.

I feel like I've had my last crush. Like I'm out of infatuation. I don't think I can feel excited about a girl anymore. Every time I find myself in a position to move on a girl I'm like "fuck it, I don't care".

My dearest S,

You're going to do amazing things today. I'll be waiting right here for you when you get back.

Yours,
W.S.

>>18544023
What needs to fail in order to help another person out? Why not just talk to this person and see what you can do to help?

I want to watch something burn

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>>18544720
Fufufu

>>18544113
Kek
Grow a pair, grow up and fuck off you absolute useless piece of shit.

>>18543765
You treated everyone like shit, I never saw you be a good human being. It was always all about you and what you wanted. You're spoiled, selfish, lazy and narcissistic. I accepted that that's how you are, and I'd have to work around it.

>>18544772
I'm not gonna take that from a whore like you. KYS

>>18544860
Honey I'm going to be here until my body falls apart. Off ya go

>>18543765
I honestly don't know.

Everyone treats me like absolute trash. I just thought that's how relationships worked.

I'd like to thank God for all these blessings. Every time I feel weak, I get stronger. Every time I get hurt, I heal insanely fast. Signed, Templar.

I want to be a pretty lady god damnit.

I want the truth.

I think about those two things non fucking stop.

When does this get good? You told me I am the one. That I would never be alone ever again. That before, it was hard. Now it would be easy.

I don't care about any of that. I know people are awful. I know they will lie to me until the day I die. I know they will try to cheat me, trick me, deceive me. Try to use me.

I don't care.

I just want the very little things I want.

Please.

>>18544951
Why couldn't I have this person's place in the world?

Why did I have to draw the short straw of the cosmos?

Why was I given the job that no one else wanted?

I have to pee.

Ps. I don't know why you want me to start singing when I'm already 20 years into training.

Of course during the rare opportunity that my college is in the path of totality during the eclipse next month I have a fucking class.
Maybe my teacher will at least let us go watch it, or even better cancel class, but I was hoping to ask this girl to see it with me.

Lost another bitch.
But my technique worked twice, so I'm sure it will work again on some other bitch. It's just incredibly frustrating having to start the whole process again with girls. Not sure how long I can keep this up.