What the hell is wrong with me?

>>18537317
What the fuck am I reading?

>>18537317
You're fucking crazy, OP. See a therapist or something.

>>18537329
I don't know if I am, I thought it was a trigger. But there were years where I did weird shit. One time I thought my own family were alien matrix agents, only portraying themselves as humans in the matrix. I went so far as to write my Mother's contact as " alien " on my phone.

>>18537317
>>18537354
I'm not a quarter bad as you are, but I also sometimes have involuntary reactions when I'm remembering embarressing things. With me I'll suddenly hide my face with no warning even in public, or I'll start telling my own thoughts to shutupshutupshutup out loud. To me it sounds kind of like you're using fantasy or unrelated thoughts to jar yourself out of the negative feelings your memories are giving you.

I'm no psychologist, just someone with a casual interest in psychological disorders. If you ask me you sound similar to someone with schitotypal personality disorder. Maybe you want to read a little about it and see if it sounds familiar. You should consider talking to a professional too.

I can't know what's going on in your head since our experiences are obviously very different but if you want my advice from personal experience I suggest you find a mantra that you can use to calm yourself down when you start feeling anxious. I like to tell myself "I'm fine" or "It's okay". Don't try to shove the emotion away, acknowledge it and remind yourself that it's not the end of the world and that you will be fine.

>>18537390
Thank you friend, finally some helpful advice or knowledge of what's going on. Everyone else didn't have any where near as good advice as you do.

>>18537317
hey OP, I literally did this shit, right down to saying "i hate black people" "oh okay" "aaaaaaah" like literally thats some shit I would say all the time for the same reasons

When I think about highschool and times I stood up in class and was super awkward I still twitch sometimes like tense up or throw a weird punch, but with self control I haven't said I hate black people in a while because I was like man that's a really weird thing I do I don't even dislike black people.

anyway basically you just gotta stop thinking about the awkward memories man, and really focus on not doing weird shit if you don't like it.

>>18537398
No problem man. Whether you're dealing with an anxiety disorder like me or something more deeply ingrained like a personality disorder I can't stress enough that you talk to someone trained if that's a possibility for you. Your symptoms sound pretty severe and like they are bothering you a lot.

>>18537317
I know that feel, you are not alone in this one.
It happens a lot to me, I make sounds or shout but for a very little time and not so loud, it's like you want to shout but when you are about to begin the loud part you stop, those happen to me.
Or suddenly thoughts and then you kinda answer I don't know how to explaim

>>18537449
I also get random "I WANT TO KILL MYSELF" thoughts and then start saying them, but they are for not so long, about 3 seconds and then it stops and I continue like nothing

>>18537455
We may as well be the same person... I remember one time I was saying "i should kill myself" like over and over again a few times on a trail in the woods thinking I was alone and I turned around and there was a person like right there. they didn't say anything.

>>18537405
We had retards like you in my highschool

He would say something weird get up in his seat and then start hitting himself in the head saying "BAD BAD BAD"

>>18537493
No, I mean like I was hella red faced when I had to give presentations and told flat jokes and shit but fuck you too.

Tourettes?