Tinder Advice Thread

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>please let me see your elbow

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>>18536157
What should I say to this girl?

>>18536199
Respond with a gif of Dougie from Twin Peaks S3 spitting out his coffee and saying "Hi!"

>>18536196
That chris hanson bit gave me a healthy chuckle.
>>18536199
Imagine you just meet her at the bust stop, just be super casual, have no expectation but the satisfaction of a good conversation.

>>18536157
>Paige
lmao fucking Paige

>>18536199
"do your tits look that small from every angle?"
pls don't actually do this

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>>18536199
>>18536213

>>18536199

"You stupid fucking whore. I swear I am SO TIRED of you dumb fucking cunts and your "humor", if you tried to make me laugh with that shitty ass fucking meme, you actually did it, you making me click on your profile and watching your stupid oraguntan face was the funniest thing that happened all day, maybe except for you attempting to talk to me. Never again talk to this prince, you stupid fucking peasant."

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What do you think?

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>>18536246
This is her

>>18536246
Why? She doesn't look underage

>>18536250
wtf I and a friend just fucked this chick last week

She's on Tinder already?

>>18536269
Oh ya? What city/state are you in

It's on bumble btw

>>18536263
Idk I just thought it's funny

>>18536269
Please don't troll please don't troll

>>18536196
Is the elbow thing a meme?

Also, question: Does Tinder make sense if I want an actual relationship rather than casual sex?

>>18536282
OP here

The elbow this was just what someone on /fit/ told me to message her

You CAN get a gf on tinder, I dated a super hot girl for a month on tinder, but it's primarily a hookup site and you shouldn't be looking for long lasting relationships there

Most girls on tinder have serious issues which is why they are on their for a relationship in the first place

>>18536282
No. I want a relationship as well and they all want sex. Casual sex

>>18536276
NYC
ask her if she has been there last week :)
what's bumble, another dating site ? lol

>>18536282
Dude you have mfers meeting girls over linkedin. I definitely think you can pull a girl through Tinder for a relationship.

>>18536292
Fag she goes to college in Montana and is visiting Portland for the summer (where I am)

Stop larping

>>18536246
What should I say to this girl?

Is the chris Hanson thing a no go??

>>18536302
Oh :)

>>18536282
As with everything else in life, you make of it what you want

I haven't got anywhere near op pic of matches, been on tinder for about three years, hooked with five women -- one for a month, one for two months, the latest one for eight months, and she's gone from never wanting kids to seeing herself having my babies within the next 4-5 years. Also I'm 33 and she's turning 25 soon

>>18536302
so you obv haven't actually met her

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>>18536246
>>18536250

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>>18536364
And now we wait

>>18536386
Sounds not good at all bro

>>18536399
Ya I think I fugged up

>>18536402
I doubt she would answer. Anyway keep me updated

>>18536410
Nobody responded to what I should say so I panicked

>>18536157
904 matches? We got a chad in here.

>>18536414
Out of curiosity can us see your face? With that much matched you must be a Chad

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>>18536414
OH SHIT SHE RESPONDED

WHAT DO???

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>>18536423

>>18536429
"well, do you wanna meet up for coffee or a drink sometime this week?"

>>18536269
Nice!

>>18536429
Don't fucking screw up she's being patient with you, clearly she likes you enough to get over how fucked up you are, be thankful for your face it saved your day.
Anyway. Ask her if she want you to get caught by Chris Hasson or not cause it's worth the time spending with her.

>>18536431
lol serious
Maybe I should use these sites

>>18536429
"have you heard of a internet forum called ebaumsworld?"

>>18536431
"when can I fuck your pussy hole"

>>18536431
Pictures with other girls can be a double edged sword. On one hand it shows other girls that you are able to socializs. On the other hand some girls can think your a player. Just my experience.

>>18536451
>player
not when those other girls look like that

OP you look pretty short, have you actually met any of these girls in person?

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>>18536441
Here goes nothing

>>18536463
I am pretty short

I've fucked plenty of girls off tinder and dated one. Height usually isn't an issue. /fit/ makes too big a deal out of people being manlets when most hot girls are shorter than me anyway

>>18536463
How did you know he was short?
>>18536477
I've had the same experience, as long as you have a good personality, chicks seem to see you as some stud even the hot ones.

>>18536477
>I am pretty short
As long as you're above 170 it's not that bad. Plus you're fit. That's pretty decent actually

>>18536496
I'm 5'7"

Or 5'6" on a bad day
>tfw the army compresses your spine and you get even shorter

Enjoy your stds

>>18536477
Did she answer op

>>18536553
No, I think she got weirded out cause I was too hung up on the chris Hanson bit and she didn't actually know who chris Hanson is

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>>18536553
>>18536556
Holy shit

I'm glad I didn't sperg and send her another message

>>18536196
Honestly, it could work in a cheeky random way that will make her laugh and interested in you

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You fags aren't giving me any advice here

I'm flying blind

>>18536615
> Over coffee
Ya blew it

>>18536644
>Dub dubs confirms
But why?

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>>18536199
"Wus poppin jimBo"

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>>18536644
>>18536659
Never mind I got her digits

>>18536667
Nigga how you literally sperged out an entire convo and she still put up with you. She must really like how you look or something because most girls probably would have split after your first comment.

All the chris Hanson made you look like an ex pedo bro.

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>>18536684
I am become CHAD destroyer of pussy

>>18536667
Well, gg then, post nudes if you fuck her.

>be me
>have a couple profile with my gf on tinder
>got two phone numbers and working on the third just this week

Tinder is love, tinder is life

>>18536837
How does that work?

>>18536364
>>18536386
>>18536429
>>18536477
>>18536585
>>18536615
>>18536667
God damn, she is terrible at keeping a conversation going. Just pump and dump asap. She's putting no effort into this.

>>18536864

Bitches be competitive and they're also very vulnerable to signalling.

Like if his gf is cute then they'll assume he's high value. Some other chicks will feel like they got something to prove and want to demonstrate her superiority by fucking some other chick's guy.

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>>18536889
Don't worry amigo

>>18536864
Actually trying to figure it out myself

My current theory is a bucnh of women are bi curious. Some, like mine, have boyfriends. Some, like those girls, don't. As long as we make them feel safe to experiment with us, things happen.

Any advice for a bio?

>>18536986
Don't put too much there, leave it humorous, but mysterious

>>18536954
How many threesomes have you had? Your gf is cool with an open relationship?

>>18536229
Do this. It'd be hit or miss but a girl with the right sense of humour would love it, and if a girl had that kind of sense of humour she'd be wife material.

>>18536998
She's coming over to my house right now and we're probably gonna bang

>>18537001
Post your profile, friendo.

>>18536933
>my parents get paranoid
>she's literally fucking strangers every night
How do I raise a daughter not to become like this?

>>18536431
>>18537004

Well I hung out with her, but instead of coming up to my place she just drove me to this place on the waterfront which was cool and all, but she was really awkward and she's not good at conversation. After she dropped me off at my place she went in for a hug instead of a kiss

2/10 would not recommend

She was kinda cute, but her overall lack of confidence turned me off

>>18536995
Depends on how you count them. Theee different girls, but we had sex with the last one six times.

We're not really open, we do everything toghether and she doesn't want to do it with a guy. We discussed having sex separately with this last girl if we kept seeing her but it didn't happen, but she was cool with it.

>>18537110
Nice that sounds great

I wish my gf would do that

>>18537124
Have you talked about it with her? It took me six years to actually do something, she had some curiosity but I had to do some inception on the idea for years for that to actually happen.

>>18536933
Post pics m8

>>18537088
>girl picks you up
>takes you out
>makes the move on the after-kiss

Are you a woman too or just a pussy?

Autistic girl here. Thin, pretty, but very autistic and social anxiety. Can I get married fast with Tinder?

I'm 27. My dad is screaming and barking at me to get married. Literally barking. He stands outside the house and barks and howls like a dog, loud enough for the neighbors to hear. He also kicks the house wall in anger because I'm not married. It's okay, my other neighbor is a wife beater so it's not like loud screams and violent noises are a strange occurrence in my neighborhood.

My dad is only outside doing this because my mother told him he is not allowed to scream and kick things inside the house, so if he wants to be violent, he has to go outside to do it.

I want to get married too, and I'm trying to meet people and go to parties and events, but I'm autism and neet so it's really hard for me. My dad doesn't care, he wants me married and he wants me married now. I probably inherited my autism from him. Any ideas on what I should write on my Tinder profile?

>>18537182
If you're hot I'll marry and impregnate you so your father can live in peace.

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Been using the app for like a week and still haven't gotten any match.

It may be because in my pictures I am mostly sad or serious rather than happy or maybe because I'm picky... Or both
What do

>>18537182
I'll marry and give you lots of kids, pls respond.

>>18537189
but what should I write on my Tinder profile to indicate the direness of my situation?

>>18537198
"I need to get married and pregnant fast, taking any and everyone."

messages should come in pretty fast

>>18537201
But I don't want anyone and everyone. My dad wants that.
I still want a guy whom I get along with. So I still have to date the potential boyfriend and see if we are compatible. Remember, I'm autistic too so I'm not particularly chill either

What is the current internet slang/code for my situation?

>>18537209
Bullshit aside, nobody goes to Tinder looking for marriage. Go on OKCupid or Eharmony or some shit if you want that.

Or go to a church or something.

>>18537182
You're proly trolling, but in case you're not, write on your profile "dial 911, my father is an abusive piece of shit"

First, get rid of your father. You're literally screaming "daddy issues". Second, go to therapy. Luckily you'll be functional by the time you're 30.

The thing with women who are seeking for marriage is that they scare guys away, and for good reason: you're desperate and clingy as fuck. I witnessed first hand a woman I know do that for more than 15 years, and not only she obviously wasn't successful, it took a toll on her sanity. Not pretty.

So fix everything and don't you dare looking for marriage before you unfuck yourself. It will happen naturally when you're in a healthy relationship with a healthy mind.

>>18537216
I'm an atheist though ...

It's just so hard for me. I go to science seminars, music events, hang out in the park, I say hello and do small talk, I try to make friends. This is especially difficult because of my social anxiety but I'm really trying to meet a compatible guy ...

I fall into these terrible depressions when I come home and my father is howling about why am I not married yet. What I'm doing into fast enough but every day I'm completely exhausted doing social activities. I don't know what to do anymore

>>18537242
I know my sanity is slipping. My health is failing. I used to be really fit and have a great blood pressure. Now my muscles have atrophied, I have pre hypertension, and colds that I used to get over in a day now last for weeks and weeks. Disturbingly I also have suicidal thoughts about not being married. I try to not think about it, but it's really hard to come home and deal with Dad

Then because of my failing health and depression, I can't go to as many social events which makes me feel worse and makes my blood pressure rise again

>>18536889
second this

People like this are fucking boring and you can tell that she's either utterly uninterested and bored or just plain shallow and/or stupid. You're kinda wasting your time

>>18537182
but like every girl here believes she's pretty

>>18537182
Post a picture of yourself

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So I was a bit of a dumbass and my first messages for a while were just "Hey, how are you? How's your week going" which I know sucks but I still don't know any better.

Any tips? Most of the girls I match with aren't the pickup line types but also obviously don't want a boring starter either. Help me guys.

>>18536431
Jesus why the fuck are you on here needing help, you got the dog, surrounded with women to trigger primal female competition, moto, is this all organic or you compiled it and perfected it like a sociopath? you're literally swimming in pussy, just come here to rub it in?

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>>18537491
Compiled and perfected like a sociopath

I actually have a girlfriend, I just do this for fun cause I have all these matches and I like to see what'll happen if I do what 4chan says

>pic related is my gf

>>18537523
I fucking hate you [I actually don't] Do you cheat on her?

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>>18537523
Why does all girls you posted hide their face behind the phone lmao

If you want to show them off, post a photo where they are in a natural setting and not posing while hiding their face. For all people who go outside, these pics could be of uggos

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>>18537535
No I would never cheat on her, I'm a very loyal person.

She gave me a free pass to have sex if I wanted to over the summer, cause she's back home about an hour or two away

I still haven't though even though I have the opportunity to fuck a 10/10 milf and have a threesome with her and her husband.

>pic related

>>18537552
We'll that girl was my girlfriend and I don't want her face on the internet. The first one was just the first picture that the girl posted

>pic is 10/10 milf
It's honestly hard to resist fucking her even though I technically have the green light

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>>18537563
Shit I forgot picture

>>18537565
That is indeed a quality body.

>>18537565
>>18537556

OP

did your gf cheat on you? bad at sex? is that why you are doing this to compensate?

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>>18537578
I'll keep posting but most is just straight up nude so I'll have to censor

>plz don't ban me mods

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>>18537582
No the sex is great, she's never cheated on me (as far as I know) and I trust her completely

I had a thing with the milf before I met her, but anyway, she gave me the green light to sleep with other people because she doesn't want me to feel like I'm trapped since we're technically in a long term relationship

Honestly the whole tinder thing started after she wanted to message girls on my tinder. I thought it was funny and I'm just doing it for the thrill of the hunt

>>18537610
ok :)

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>>18537616
Of she told me that she didnt want me to be with any other women I wouldn't do anything else and I wouldn't talk to anyone else, and I asked her if that's what she wanted and she said she didn't care

>>18537592
>>18537610
>>18537646
based OP post uncensored version on some Imgur album pls

>>18537610
if you didn't have a GF and was looking for something, what would you say to them? What are good first messages?

>>18537653
By then do you mean random tinder bitches? (Or other dating app sluts)

I try to message them with something short and clever that relates to their bio

If I can't relate anything to the bio or her pictures, I'll just say some random funny pickup line

>http://imgur.com/a/Wsrgo

I fucked up on the upload and added duplicates but here you go

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>>18537677
Bump for the guy that wanted an album of milf nudes

>>18537713
moaarr

>>18537845
Moar of which girl?

>>18537868
how many are there in this thread?
the milf and who else?

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>>18537876
Milf and my girlfriend

And then there's like one pic of some random tinder girl

>pic related: gf

>leaves height off profile
>gets matches here and there

>puts height on profile (i'm 6'2")
>matches increase multifold

Fuck women desu

>>18537882
ok let's see your gf

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>>18537901

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>>18537910
Last one before I go to sleep

>>18537926
nuuudes?

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What should I say?

>>18537900
Woooah are you telling me women are attracted to masculine traits? Damn.

How do you get all those social photo with people around you, with happy faces?

>>18538124
have friends
go to some events with them
It's pretty easy if you're in uni
If you're older with no friend it might be more difficult.

>>18538103
Is this real? I mean I see those screenshots of tinder girls profiles but im sure some of them are made up accounts. how many girls on tinder care about height I've never used it so idk

>>18538140
Yes it;s reeler than real

>>18538131
>have friends
Mm... I see.

Started OKC again about a week ago since deleting my account about 5 years ago. Already lost hope/motivation since all my messages and swipes go unanswered.

>>18537477
There's nothing wrong with keeping it simple imo. It's awkward for everyone on tinder, and if a girl is a bitch just because you started with "hi, how are you?", she's probably not worth your time

However, if you can start with something that relates to her bio or pictures, it's easier to hook up a subject and go from there. I.e. I matched a girl who played rugby, so just "hey I love that you play rugby" was already simultaneously a compliment, a show of interest on her beyond looks and a conversation starter

Tl;dr: KISS (keep it simple stupid)

>>18538140
Dude I'm 6'2 and my sister says I'm too tall and the last girl I dated said I'm too tall. Women are different and have their own taste. Many will appreciate a tall guy, but it's not essential. And the reason why you've seen images like the one you spoke of is because manlets obsess over it and share it with others. Most likely to seek validation from other manlets on hating women. But average women don't care all that much. But being insecure about it definitely is a turn off for them.

>>18538351
I feel like women's rugby is the most underrated human activity. People get boners over women playing tennis when they are separated like 50 feet, women's rugby has literal PILES of ladies on top of each other and they are all sweaty and dirty but almost nobody watches it.

>>18538585
they also look like apes

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Hows my bio?

'Just looking for someone to play runescape with. Any sexual advances will result in you being unmatched and reported'

Should i pick a more basic normie bio who's tone they'r guaranteed to understand? And if so gimme an example

>>18538598
I don't think women know what Runescape is

>>18538598
Yeah the tone you're going for will be lost on most people. Basically it depends whether you are attractive enough to pull off something so retarded.

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>>18538585
I never watched a single rugby match in my life desu, but it's cool that a girl plays a relatively violent sport like that. I like "strong" women

>>18538593
>pic
She's not a 10/10 fit girl, a bit chubby in a cute way, but doesn't look like an ape at all to me

>>18538598
Doesn't sound ironic and relatable enough to someone normal at all. You'll probably look like a retarded lonely virgin looking for company for a mmo on the wrong place, a.k.a autist

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>>18538084
>so was Michael jacksons face
Got a chuckle out of me anon, but I'm surprised she responded

Ask for her number and then ask her on a date

Also
>got a couple more pics of the milf
I didn't choose the gay ass filter

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>>18538351
My gf gets literally hundreds of likes on tinder

Every single guy she swipes right on matches

You'd be surprised how many guys just say "hey" "hi" "what's up" or other boring shit

If you say something interesting or funny, you literally stand out in a crowd

>>18537182
I would want to meet you and see if we (might) get along. what problems do you currently have?

>>18538939
Yeah I totally get that it gets boring, but if you're a guy who's socially awkward and not swimming in matches, which let's be honest is 90% of the guys here, it's better imo to stick to something neutral, than risking cracking a joke or something and come out as a dork

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HOW THE FUCK HAS EVERY GIRL HAD TIME AND MONEY TO BE A STUDENT YET TRAVEL THE WORLD?!

I'm 28 and still live in the city I was born. I saved so much trying to get my roots in the ground here, and they all want someone who has traveled the world too.

>>18538950
I disagree. If you have a large number of matches then you can afford to be boring.

If you're super attractive you can get away with anything though

>>18538963
>If you're super attractive you can get away with anything though
This is key. If you're average as a guy, you don't have enough matches to risk it, specially if you're awkward.

Don't get me wrong, I actually agree that it is better to have a different opening, but most guys here like the one who originally asked the question lack the social skill to make it work properly most of the time.

>>18538957
University exchange program, it's pretty easy really.
I've been to Japan, England, Switzerland, Singapore (and the neighboring countries). Universities want to connect to each other via these exchange programs so they fund foreign students to come to their university, which then improves their global ranking on the "international" score.

Typically white women joining these programs are thirsty, and all they want is to travel and have fun, taking like one subject the whole semester, so not much studying was being done.

>>18539006
Post her profile pics

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>>18539014
Bump

>pls no buly mods

>>18539057
later when thread is over pls post uncensored version in the imgur album
tnx :)

>>18539006
she looks fat

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>>18539014
>>18539070
yup. they were all face shots like this

it makes me quite suspicious famalam

dude how do you get any matches/responses out of tinder? do you absolutely have to be chad?

>>18539082
She's literally a whale

That might be fine though depending on what you look like

>>18539082
lmaaoo how much time did she spend on that [[post process
this is one of those stubby Mexicans

>>18539087
Good diverse profile pics, clever bio, be good looking, live in a city with tons of people around

>>18539092
whats a clever bio and how many people is tons?

i dunno if im good looking or not

>>18539103
630k people

Post a pic of yourself and your profile and I'll give you some tips

>>18539110
what is a good bio?

>>18539110
ah shit im only at 120k

how do printscreen a phone?

>>18539118
Nothing too long. Make it funny and clever, give the other person a hook to work off of. The most successful tinder matches I've had have been when I was able to use the girls bio to talk to her about stuff

>>18539125
What kind of phone?

>>18539158
android

>>18539175
Fuck if I know dude

Just google it

>>18539082
Rule of thumb, faceshots only = fat.

and OP, you need to fucking charge your phone!

>>18539200
I know, I was actually charging it while posting

I got back into playing fallout shelter and it drains my battery so much

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>>18539216
Bumpo

>mods pls no ban

>>18539350
This was not included in imgur. Y u holding out?

>>18536157
>Matches and messages all from attractive women.
>One cow at the bottom.
What's the story here?

>>18537085
Make her conservative. Leftists think women must fuck a different Jamal every night or they have internalized misogyny.

How much of a fag would I be if I just made a profile just to meme? A friend of mine had an idea of just making one based off of a cartoon character who has no luck on chicks.

>>18536282
I got lucky and found a gf on Tinder. We get along and she's white, honest, intelligent and hard working. So yea it makes sense.

>>18539350

what does her butthole smell like

guys how soon do you schedule dates?

I've been doing 4, 5 sometimes 6 days in advance because I work a lot.
I don't really text them again until the day of the date to make sure they aren't flaking. so far 2 have not responded (flaked) and 2 have followed through and went on the date

am I doing it bad? does it make a difference for real dates vs. hookups?

>>18541711
Like a hot babe

>>18541776
You should use snapchat to keep in touch
6 days is a lot for some random hoe you met on a dating app.

Femanon here with some advice:

The best way to seem interesting is to be interested.
You really don't have to try that hard to be funny, ask questions like what they like to do or what their ideal date would be or what even brings them to Tinder.
I met a guy in under a week and fucked him for just being really open with communication and not trying to impress me so much as size me up/ make me feel good about myself. It's really that easy.

>>18542818
Also worth noting he didn't guilt trip me when I said I was too busy, or that I didn't want to fuck on the first date just get to know each other. He made it known that he was eager but didn't want to make me uncomfortable and told me how great I was and to call him out if he does make me uncomfortable.

So we fucked on the second date.

>>18542818
>>18542824
Mind sharing some doxx-free chat examples of what you're talking about?

>>18542818
>I'm really that easy.
Fixed that for ya.

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27KB, 350x350px

This isn't an advice thread. Not really, it's a shitty desperate dating thread. You should have posted this on /b or some where else.

>>18543635
If you or anyone needs advice, feel free to ask. If not, get the fuck out