I wan't to see my child but...

Selfbumpin cuz i need real advice

>>18535411
Honestly if you have an education, I'd consider expatriating. No child support, far away from her, and just start a new life

>>18535490
I'm really considering this. But letting my child grow up without him even knowing me is so hard man.

>>18535499
How do you know it's even your kid?

>>18535512
Yea this thought also makes me crazy.
I'm not that sure anymore. Because of the fact that she wouldn't even consider asking me why im not seeing my son or the way she changed. But it just fits the time we had unprotected sex. I'm pretty much certain its mine.

>>18535512
Alo i've read text messages between her and her sister about telling me we will have a child togheter and asking if i was happy abput it.

Bumbbump

I say you just phone or text her in advance before you arrive and then simply pick your son at the door's gate. You don't need to have dinner with them or force some awkward small talk with them.

Make the necessary interactions you'll have to do with her as fast and civil as poasible. Do it for the sake of your kid.

>>18535880
Yes, that was exactly what i was doing until the last time i was taking my son out. There was a stranger (men) with her also her sister. Same day i messaged her and asked who that was. She replied thats non of my concernes (that stranger is spending time with my kid of course its my concerne). And that was the last time i talked to her. I can't enjoy the time with my kid while this things are happening.

I don't know guys this topic seems to be to complicated. Due the amount of replies. Today someone asked about how many marbles he could show up his ass. People seemed to be more interested in that. Kek

>>18535411
I don't have helpful advice. But I care about you. Maybe you should start a new family and tell yourself you were a sperm donor.

>>18535880
Also she wants me to pick him up out of her flat. Cuz she lives at the fifth floor.

>>18535932
Kek. Thanks anon. Also thinking about that. Try to finish university (half year left) and i'm already working for an company where i will try to work abroad like>>18535490 suggested.
Maybe before that i'll meet him a last time also to get an dna test. Just to get the doubts out of my head.

>>18535957
You seem like you are handling your life well anon. Go have an adventure.

>>18535987
Thanks bro. I'll make it my top priority.

>>18535411
I would tell you how dumb you were op, but that wont help you. Thing is, you should see her in person and ask her if she is treating her new bf better than you.

Because if he will stick around, he can raise the kid himself and he wont suffer through the perils of single mom upbringing. If he is still small, you can simply dissappear from his life and he will think of his fake daddy as real one.

Go see your ex wife and have a talk with her about him. To see whats up.
>so far she sounds like psychopath

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. You got yourself into this shit. There isnt any single good advice for situation like this.

>>18536006
Yea i know it all comes down to me. I made that child. I would love to be the father in his life. I'm smart and very driven. Also very caring. I could teach him so much. I had an terrible childhood i swore to me that i would be an better father than my own. But it seems like she won't let me do it. And yes she is very psychopatic. Damaging herself when she get angry. And i'm not sure if she really is in an realationship or just fuck buddies. Nothimg seems to be holy anymore. Whoring times we live in.

>>18536106
You can fight for your child at court. Report her as crazy to doctors.

But it all boils down to you. And you sound like lazy dude who gave up his right to raise his child.

Sorry, i am out of advices. Even shitty ones arent enough for this case. Go see her and take care of the kid.
>one week her and one week you upbringing?

>>18536162
I've fought at the courts. Also mentioned the crazy stuff with proofs of books her reading about borderline syndrome. But guess what. You can't do shit. Father rights are a joke. I was only allowed to visit him once a week. At the court i've mentioned that i would like to see him at least 2 days a week. And anon? Where is that child now regardless of her being crazy and no career for the future. I'm not lazy at all. During the pregnancy she and her family kicked me out four times out our flat. Because we were arguing so much. Each time she would call me back. I swallowed my pride abd went back for my child. Feeling like a dog. I talked and talked to her. But where is no intelligence you can not reach with words. In my book i've tried more than possible. I'm in paece with myself. I'm only missing him so much. That's that.

>>18536210
Ok.

Still, the kid will grow up as total mess if he wont have any male model example when growing up. Be there for him. Maybe he doesnt need you know, but if what you are saying about his mom is true, he WILL need you sooner or later.

Cheers!

And you can always try to make a deal with her personaly about seeing him. I can imagine she doesnt want to be stucked with him 24/7.

This sounds silly but I am 18 and also found a girl who has became my first and vice versa and I'd die if what happened to you happens to me.

I'd literally want to vomit my soul out.

You are very brave and admirable for standing your ground and maintaining love for your kid.

Kinda unuseful post but I really feel for you

>>18536162
The court had decided we should do therapy for a while. Which we already had tried. This whole thing could go on for years and all this court stuff affected my studying way to much. I had to make an desicion there and canceled the therapy.

>>18536231
Thanks young anon. Always listen to your friends and family when they see something you can't see. Because love does makes blind. That's my /adv/ for you.

>>18536230
I know that anon. I told her that many times. Still would find out she giving our son to someone else to watch when she was feeling tired even though i had time and she knew that. I'm out of my vocabullary here friends.

>>18536261
Will do, best luck in this situation. Each difficulty and betrayal makes one stronger. Whatever the outcome I believe with my little knowledge the law of nature will guide you to the light