What is she thinking?

Kill her

>>18534560
Kill is wrong

>>18534512

You were honest, she was honest. If she said

>2) She wanted to admit he wasn't her boyfriend but was afraid I would court her again.

Then she assumes you won't make a move now.

>>18534576
Yeah she said that. What do you think I should do? I really want to make something more out of this but it doesn't seem likely to happen.

Self-bumping.

>>18534512
>>18534687

>I really want to make something more out of this but it doesn't seem likely to happen.

You have it already figured out. Wishful thinking. She is not into you. Move on.

>>18534906
Yeah, I figured so. But is she hiding something? I felt tension after I spoke to her.

>>18534933
Just stop it OP. She's not hiding anything important that changes the fact she doesn't want you. She's trying to get you to go away without being a bitch. The tension, you didn't go away fast enough. Drop it and stop it.

>>18534974
That's not what I meant. Her lack of integrity to tell me "no" outright is concerning. I'm trying to understand why she waited so long in the first place. She's been the one initiating most of our interactions, anyway.

>>18535019
She probably didn't want to be straightforward because she was trying to spare your feelios because she pities you or likes you as a friend. Or maybe she enjoyed having a beta orbiter. Whatever it is, it's nothing indicating she's interested in you so like some anon said, let it go.

Basically boils down to this.
>she is already emotionally invested in another man, and either not looking in general or not interested in you in that way, period
>she did not feel like going into all the gory details of her feelings for this guy to you, and/or felt that you would not deem this attachment that's not a relationship as a legitimate reason to leave her be

>>18535066
That does sound about right. She did explain it to me in a way that made sense and told me she has received critiscm from others.
The only thing I wonder is why she would have this going on and not find someone she can be exclusive with.

>>18535104
Why do you not move on to a girl who doesn't blow you off? Because it's not easy to find someone you connect with for many people, and once you do attachment develops easily. This applies all the more if there's intimacy. There can be other factors, like lack of trust that they will find someone else, being very guarded and it being a rare feat for them that they've managed to open up emotionally to begin with. But it ultimately always boils down to not being able to move on and let go mentally.

Source: have been obsessed with a guy I had an "it's complicated" type of thing with for literal years.

>>18535111
Well, to answer your question, this girl has been a positive influence in my life and we've been friends for about a year. She lied when we first met and it just hurts since she's been a great and supportive friend.

>>18535188
Well, there you go. It is probably similar for her. This guy struck a chord with her, he managed to get through to her at a low point, he did something for her that no one did so far. And theoretically she would prefer to be with someone she feels as strongly about, but also wants her. In practice she simply has these feelings and cannot just nuke them for practicality.

>>18535200
Huh. That's makes a lot of sense. Thanks Anon.

>>18535212
No problem, best of luck working through it all.