Hmm...

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What to do. I'm 24, I have it pretty good, I graduated with a BA in film although I constantly feel/felt this degree wasn't worth all the money (private uni). I did not make the most of it, had a psychotic episode, took meds, but no therapy. Only this year i realized I need therapy and that I was pretty much an alcoholic. Feeling like my circular reasoning is what got me here in the first place. Parents are being very nice except the underlying tone is that my dad thinks my problem is that I'm not religious. I have 3 older siblings; a brother that doesn't know any of this and 2 sisters who moved far away. They think cutting contact with everyone here and moving me will solve my problems but I disagree. Too scared to move and ruin their chances of securing their lives abroad. I feel like studying something scientific as I'm coming to terms with the fact that i'm not talented enough to be an artist and make a decent income to sustain myself. Everything is scary, some of my thoughts are rational and some aren't and i'm well aware of that, but there's no trophy for recognizing how depressed and dysfunctional you're getting. Rant over.