Family/friend advice

>>18529956
The bond of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

>>18529956
I've been friends with my best friend for 15 years, and he would do anything to help me without question, and I him, but it just doesn't even compare. Nothing is thicker than family. If I had to chose between him or my direct family, the choice would be family without question, and I don't even get along with my family members that well.

>>18529956
Yes. My own father, despite being a bigshot manager in a large company, never gave me a break, not even summer work, when I was younger, despite high school classmates whose parents worked there getting their foot in the door. Had to do all manner of shitty menial jobs instead. Never got a word of encouragement or any meaningful kind of support during tough times. Or at any other time either. Just the usual "firm handshake" and "keep sending your CV out" kind of b/s.

One of my best friends, on the other hand, set me up with interviews with influential relatives of his, sent freelance work my way and generally encouraged me more than any family member ever did. His mother who did volunteer work helping NEETs get their CVs and shit together also gave me a lot of help doing just that.

My own family: zilch. Letting me move back home after I got unemployed was the height of their helpfulness. (we're not even talking white trash types, upper middle class, afraid to say).

Get invited to stay with my friend and his folks a couple of times a year and it breaks my heart I've been too depressed recently to have taken him up on that this summer.

Sometimes blood doesn't flow thicker than water.

>>18530013
This is incredibly insightful, knowing there are people who legitimately care about you is great. I used to believe that having the same blood makes you relatives, and having a strong bond makes you family, but now I know it.

>>18529956
Depends on what your family is like and on how well you pick your friends and if you're a decent person yourself.

You can treat forming friendships as building your own family with people you select. You want to do this with people who have good values, and you need to share these values yourself.

People fall back on family as a default form of inclusion and ownership to form groups, but if the people in your family suck and aren't good people, it doesn't work out very well.

>>18529974
This. In a friendship you can choose who you trust and who you want to spend your time with, with family you're stuck with them no matter how they treat you. Your father is wrong, if you choose your friends wisely and treat them like family then they're better then family.