Lost Love

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Long story not as long, I'm in love with a girl named Jordan. I was with her for almost 2 years and we lived together. We were all for each other until she invited her friend to live us. For no reason and none I can still come up with, I started to show interest in her friend but I knew it was strictly physical. I acted on those actions and eventually convinced the friend to see me all the while I was still with Jordan. I never "officially" dated either of these girls and I used that shit excuse to keep it up.

After so long I started, for whatever fucking reason, to push the Jordan away and told myself it was easier and safer to be with the friend and a much safer bet. I don't know why those thoughts entered my head, I really have no idea. Being with the friend wasn't amazing, I thought of the Jordan most of the time just to deal. The friend and I have nothing really in common, we have different life goals and want different things in life.

I messed things up and pushed Jordan, the original girl, to be with someone else, Kameron, but even while she was with him her and I still hooked up and had our fun. Hell, we even bought each other things and I took her to the aquarium for her birthday where I had planned to propose to her. You see how messed up my train of thought is. Its the classic "you don't know what you have 'till its gone" scenario.