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I've been dating a girl for just over a year now. When I got involved with her she was smart, funny, confident and outgoing. I really liked those qualities about her. Well, a few months into our relationship, it became obvious she had her own hang ups. She'd get hung up arguing over semantics, and would take everything negative you said in a conversation personally.
This rapidly accelerated into monopolizing all of my free time, getting unreasonably angry over small things. She would be angry and yell for up to several hours. A few times it escalated to her hitting me. She'd be remorseful and try to make it up to me later, but damn does that feel like textbook emotional abuse. During these outbursts I would try to remain calm, defend myself (physically and verbally, as needed), and otherwise sit there and take the verbal lashings, as she would not allow me leave her place when she was in those moods. Would freak out and scream and threaten to call the cops.
Due to her rocky upbringing and behavior, I'm certain she has Borderline Personality Disorder. She's seeing a therapist again and is on some meds for the past month. And while I recognize that she's making this progress in her life, she still yells and screams at me. She's definitely toned down on the physical abuse (pushes and shoves now), but it feels like for all the progress she's making, I'm still her metaphorical (and sometimes literal) punching bag.
Truth is, we've had some fun times too, and all, but the fighting happens anywhere between 2-4 times a week (it used to be worse), and I'm just burnt out. I hate being this little bitch boy to her, and any love I had for her before, is definitely suppressed by the dread, stress and fear I have every minute I'm with her. When I've tried to break up before, she freaks out, hurts herself, and threatens to blame it on me and call the cops. I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do.
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>>18528428
Leave. Who cares if she hurts herself? She's mentally ill trash anyway. Now as far as threatening to hurt herself and call the cops, you gotta get evidence my dude. Maybe in the form of audio and video records to cover your ass.
In short: Leave. Future you will thank you.
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Before you breaking up with her turn on the voice recorder on your phone and put it in your pocket.
You now have proof that she plans on blaming you for hurting herself. If the cops do come comply and let them do as they please, but inform them of the evidence on your phone ASAP.
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I've been in a very similar situation that lasted to the point where I was getting hit and having things thrown at me several times a week. Like you, I eventually just got into the mentality of, well if she's in one of these moods again, I guess I'll just have to shut up and deal with it. She'd do the thing of apologizing profusely and making up later. I let my feelings lead me into just putting up with this shitty situation.
But looking back, it fucked up my emotional health so much compared to where it was before. Putting up with that made me slowly lose all respect I had for myself and I was depressed for months after the relationship ended.
Don't be like me and just put up with that month after month. For both of your sakes, just cut contact, as hard as it is. Just block her on everything and if she comes to your house to harass you, call the police. End of story.
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>>18528435
I guess I'm just afraid of being falsely blamed for that stuff. The laws are really in favor of women when it comes to domestic abuse. To say nothing of how cops are trained to handle those. I could have scratches and bite marks on me and they'll still drag me away first.
I guess I'll need to hold onto evidence somehow. Discreetly. The last time I tried to video on my phone during a fight, she got the phone away from me threw it down a set of stairs to its death.
>>18528443
Will the audio pick up in my pocket?
>>18528456
I appreciate just being able to get feedback after actually talking about this. Thanks for the advice. I'm really just afraid of the consequences if I leave, but leaving sounds like the best dang option.
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>>18528463
>Will the audio pick up in my pocket?
You can test it. Set it up to record in your pocket, then have a normal conversation with her.
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>>18528428
It won't get better. These people will suck the life out of you OP.
I'm still affected by an ex from 5 years ago who was just like this. Rapid cycling bipolar; possibly borderline. It's where a lot of my anxiety comes from.
Also like >>18528443 said, RECORD EVERYTHING. It may save your life.
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>>18528463
See if you can set up a hidden camera somewhere, which will be recording non-stop, or for hours once turned on.
There are also wireless/internet cameras hidden within ordinary objects, e.g.:
https://www.dpl-surveillance-equipment.com/wireless_hidden_cameras.html
check aliexpress and banggood, should be cheaper
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>>18528591
Also check laws to make sure you're not in a two-party consent state for recording.
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>>18528428
>certain she has Borderline Personality Disorder
abandon ship immediately
seriously. before this girl fucks your life up
source: experience
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