Need advice(yep, original, I know.)

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Alright so here I am with a few problems to at least get off my chest. If you can offer help, then that'd be greatly appreciated.

First of all, I've failed Uni. I'll have to wait a bit before I can try again, I only needed like 12 credits more to be done too so that's a bummer, but that's not the real problem. My first problem is, I don't know how to tell my parents, and I've witheld that info for a bit too long now to just go and say it after they told everyone around them that I'd finished and got my diploma. I was planning on getting a job at least before telling them, to show them that I was working on getting back there and finish it all nonetheless, but that leads in to the second problem.

I can't get a job. I've sent my CV to a couple of places, but nobody ever gives me more than an interview, and then they never tell me why they haven't picked me even if I bother and ask. They always come up with stuff like "we picked that other guy because he had more experience."

All I can put on my CV is almost random stuff. I'm bilingual(French/English) but I live in Québec so pretty much everyone and their grandma is too. I can type about 80 words a minute on a keyboard, but no job needs that unless it's specialized in a field I know nothing about. My Cégep(Pre-college, post high school) diploma doesn't really grant me any job opportunities because it's specifically made to get into college. I've worked in two shops, thanks to other people getting me in(Never even had to take the tests to get in) but figured I couldn't work in shops because I'm not physically fit enough or fast enough to do the jobs new guys are expected to do within a week. I've done some volunteering as president to a gaming club at Uni, but that basically amounted to being there during meetings and approving what everybody else said they could do to help the club.

Well, now at least that's off my chest. As said above, if you can help me in anyway, that'd be greatly appreciated.