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Anonymous
Avoiding relationships 2017-07-16 10:42:46 Post No. 18523136
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Avoiding relationships 2017-07-16 10:42:46 Post No. 18523136
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Can't afford therapy at the moment, and this is the only place I could post something like that.
My trouble is that I constantly avoid any responsibility in relationships and it cost me much. While it does seem to be a serious problem, there are some other things to consider, they make initial situation bleak. First and foremost, as soon as problem arises I tend to withdraw myself, I feel stressed and stuck. Yet, it is fascinating into what it develops. I seek companionship with other women, because they are safe and don't bring any troubles. I start to feel completely detached from my partner, it's extremely hard to hold the urge to run to other women. I don't cheat physically and I prevent any flirting attempts because I feel this is the right thing to do, but at the same time I refused and avoided speaking to my girlfriend sometimes, pretending I don't see her messages, preferring other women, I feel extremely uncomfortable and want to run away as soon as possible. It is always easier to change a woman, rather than work in the relationships. If I feel that my partner have some accusations in my side, where they might be true and I should change it, I start to act arrogant and ignore it, making it impossible to adapt, they either are trying to fool me or speaking about something they don't know. Recently, my resentment has been raising drastically, and I notice that if problem or conflict arises, or there's something I don't like, I want to apply physical violence immediately, or call her "dumb fucking whore", so on. Speaking about sex, I do feel incredibly aroused if I know there won't be sex but we are close enough, but if everything escalates I lose interest, and, again, want to run away.
How do I address the trouble? What the hell is it? Is it OK to feel like that?
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>>18523136
You seem to have some sort of attachment issue that prevents you from getting close to women.
What was your upbringing like?
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>>18523193
My father was/is considered to be respectful and pedantic sort of guy, leader and somewhat industrious. CEO, thousand subordinates, so on, so forth. He was strict and always wanted me to be completely disciplined and goal-oriented. I have a very good relationship with my father, mostly I have no problem maintaining friendship with men.
As far as I have noticed my only reminiscence about relationship with mother was negative. Her way of thinking is purely down-to-earth and corporate, yet she doesn't "sit on my one's neck", works, gaining money, responsible. But I remember her blaming me much, insulting. I tried to work on it, on my own, but resentment towards women is just insane. I have woman friends, though, whom I respect. Speaking about mother, I have never seen that she ever was affectionate with my father. 21 years passed by, I am full of dysfunctional relationships with women, who told me they feel my fear and that I can't open myself up to them, then proceed to break up. In 21 years I haven't ever seen that my mother reciprocated anything. When I hug my mother I don't feel anything but coldness.
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>>18523236
So to put it simply you have mommy issues.
You are going to have to take this on with a therapist because issues with parents are very complex.
For now you can read some books on the subject of dysfunctional families and growing up with a dysfunctional mother. Therapy will be what really helps though and I would avoid relationships until you can get some therapy in you.
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>>18523252
Is it necessary? I would try as soon as I get enough money.
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