Should Mental Health Be A Reason To Break Up Or To Stay?

>>18521623
I'd take her to psychiatrist to have her medication adjusted, she doesn't seem to be well treated currently. Don't be forceful about it gently but coax her into it while being supportive.

>dealing with unstable girlfriends bullshit
>no sex
why?
Just no sex is a good enough reason to leave.
You must be miserable putting up with her shit and no reward...

>>18521640
Thank you for the response.

I have taken her to a psychiatrist and he has prescribed her medicine. She is refusing to take it until she talks with her therapist though. This is actually part of what prompted me to ask help. I don't know if I should continue to date her if she doesn't take the medicine but then who am I to really say if a two trained professionals disagree with each other?

she has accused me of rape for kissing her when we were both drunk.

Run to the hills, seriously, end it now for your own sake, sanity, and future. I've had friends in this situation and it always turned out REALLY bad...you deserve better then this OP. She is not a good girlfriend if she has made you wait for sex this long. Take this as a learning experience and buy yourself a copy of "The Rational Male," if you haven't. Best thing I've ever read on the subject of sexual inter-dynamics bar none.

>>18521649
Well like I said, we do fuck around, I just haven't really felt like a man in awhile since I haven't had sex since the relationship started. And while yeah I am dealing with her bullshit, she is dealing with it to. She's a fantastic person, and I'm worried I'm throwing away a potential wife in the long run. But right now I will admit I'm feeling a little miserable.

>>18521651
A therapist does not have a medical license, nor does a psychologist. While they offer valid support that can assist with managing a psychiatric illness only a psychiatrist has a valid medical license. In case of conflict the advice of the psychiatrist should edge out always. No therapist worth a damn should ever recommend someone with a psychiatric illness go off or not their meds either. I would have a talk with her and convince her to take the meds.

A word of caution, some meds can take two to three weeks to start making a difference. She should never discontinue them without seeing a doctor, even if she feels better. That almost always causes a relapse.

If she is unwilling to follow through and get medical help despite you supporting her, then I would seriously consider leaving until she is better.

>>18521660
> I'm worried I'm throwing away a potential wife in the long run.
This is how it always feels but what i got from dating 2 unstable people in my life, people like that never really change.
You will have to put up with the same bullshit even after you are married but at that point it is already too late trust me.
What happens if she one day accuses you of other shit too...

>>18521654
I don't want to push her into sex. If she wasn't a virgin I would probably agree, but if it's someone's first time I want them to be ready you know? However I'll take a look at that book thank you for the recommendation.
>>18521673
That's a good point, and one I should have pushed more on in retrospect. She sees the therapist Monday. I told her to get her prescription filled out now so if (or rather when) the therapist says to take them she can. I think again she's just more anxious then anything, she had a rough past before I came along, not that that excuses rape accusations.
>If she is unwilling to follow through and get medical help despite you supporting her, then I would seriously consider leaving until she is better.
While I don't want to tell someone how to live their life, I think you might be right about this anon. I do feel strongly medication is the answer. I know first hand medication is THE reason I got passed my ADD, OCD, and ticks I developed as a child. If she refuses to take them, even after the therapist tells her to, I think I will break up with her.
>>18521675
I'm sorry to hear about that anon. That's a really scary thought to think about. I feel like everyone has problems though. But true, I couldn't do this my entire life. I want to be strong, and I want to be supportive though. I just hope making that choice doesn't mean turning back on those principles.

>But true, I couldn't do this my entire life. I want to be strong, and I want to be supportive though. I just hope making that choice doesn't mean turning back on those principles.

I think you have your answer here.

You need to realize that you are not responsible for wellbeing of every person you love. You are not god. Focus on what is good for you first. If you cant do good for yourself, how will you do good for others?

You could always help her as a friend. You dont have to make her the focus of your life.

>tl;dr Break up. Stay friends to help her through her stupid choices.

From my experience OP, if you think she's doing well and making good progress to feel better, and if you love her, then stay. But it's one thing to stay and be her crutch and enabling her victim complex. Mental health is very much a thing that depends on whether someone is willing to take steps to a healthier life

>>18521623
> she has accused me of rape
dump the bitch

You have a severe case oneitis.
The girls is using you as an emotional blanket and in a few years when she drained you of your soul she will move on with someone else since you will also be anxious and depressed, she can't have that.
You are an idiot to think you have anything with that relationship.

Hey anon, I think if you want to ask for advice, you're at least hopeful in this relationship. You've gotten a lot of mixed response, but I think >>18521763 is the best one. If she's aware of her outbursts and instability, it's time to make her aware of her pattern and tell her to work on it and/or reach out for mental health help and better diagnosis or meds. But if you don't, again, you may just end up being a back up and continually put down until you can't take it any more. Also, if she's interested in sex, and it's greatly upsetting you that you've had none, tell her about it. Communication is- I know, it's cliche, everything.