Guy Friend Advice?

> A week ago he says we need to talk.
> Says he is sorry but we can't be friends anymore.
> Says he has developed feelings, he is in love with me.
> Didn't realize it until a few months ago, has been trying to figure out best course of action.
> Decided since he knows I don't want him, that rather than wasting time, energy, and developing negative feelings, we should just break things off.
> Try to convince him otherwise. He's having none of it.
> Ask him for a day.
> "What? "
> One last day where we go out and have fun. One last day together.
> Tell him if he gives me that I'll let him go and never contact him again.
> Yesterday was that day. It was amazing.
> He took me to the planetarium, and then paintballing. We ate some fast food before going on a hike to a waterfall in the middle of nowhere he found once.
> We drink and swim and enjoy nature.
> Then we go out for real food, drinks, and live music.

> I start noticing time slip by and eventually he tells me it's time to take me home.
> We get to my house. He tells me he really enjoyed the day, tells me he loves me deeply.
> Ask him if it has to be this way. Ask him if I let him sleep with me once would it change things.
> He's confused.
> I've had similar situations with guy friends in the past. Sometimes they can live with the idea that they can't have the relationship they want, but can't live with watching a girl they want go on with life, date, get fucked, ect, while she's being dangled in front of him out of reach.
> Ask if he had me once, would that offset the negative feelings? ( I admit I was drunk when I thought of this. )
> Tells me it's time.
> He won't budge.
> Get out of car, watch him leave, cry in my driveway uncontrollably for an hour.
> drink myself to sleep.
> Wake up, call out of work sick, start drinking.

I don't fucking get it. I've had guy friends develop feelings before. Never had they responded like this. It's not like my friend was holding a torch for me this whole time. He's had several girlfriends over the years. One of them was a 3 year long relationship. I was the one that helped him grieve when it ended.

But usually when a dude develops feelings he tries. It's messy, there's drama, they try to find any way to make a relationship happen, much how I tried any way to make the friendship last, even if it means offering or sacrificing things they don't want to.

He was like my older brother. I want him back. I don't understand why there isn't a way to work around this. He's one of the most reasonable people I know. Why can't we find a way to make our friendship work? Why isn't he open to at least -trying- to make things work?

I mean, can he even say he loves me or that we were best friends if he can just cut me out of his life like a tumor?

>>18520808
He wanted your heart, not your pussy. So no, sleeping with him with him knowing you wouldn't end up loving him would have hurt more.

>>18520813
>can he even say he loves me or that we were best friends if he can just cut me out of his life like a tumor?

yes, which is why he did what he did because he knows himself better than anybody else does. he's obviously going to miss you but he knows dropping you like that is better than waiting around for years, possibly forever, for something that will never happen. like >>18520819 said, he wanted your heart, not your pussy, and you couldn't give that to him.

it's not your fault obviously, you haven't done anything wrong, you can't really control how you feel and you would be doing yourself a disservice by being in a relationship with somebody you weren't in love with or wouldn't be able to be in love with. just wasn't meant to be

>>18520813
>love
>reason
that's your mistake
"Love has reasons which reason cannot understand." - Blaise Pascal

>>18520819
>>18520830

I know he didn't just want me physically. I admit that offer wasn't my best point in life, but I was out of ideas and as I said, I've had experiences where the guy could put aside his feelings. Usually if a guy can put aside his feelings, what ruins it for him is watching the girl go on with life. Seeing her with other men feels like their nose is being rubbed in it. I just figured maybe for once I would offer to try and alleviate that.

While I understand he didn't just want sex, I figured he might take it just for the sake of it. I mean, at that point he has nothing to lose.

It just feels really cold, the way he did this. Especially considering how close we are. Usually men drift away instead of just ripping themselves out of your life like a massive bandaid.

>>18520848
>It just feels really cold, the way he did this.
As cold as your casual offer of a consolation fuck?
Come on, at least give him credit for being a stand-up guy. Be thankful you'll have met one good man in your life. Whether that feeling is tinged with regret is up to you.

>>18520863

How was that offer cold? I've seen how other women treat guy friends with feelings. I've always tried to be considerate in these situations, and in this one I put myself out to do something I really didn't care to do for his comfort. I know it wasn't what he wanted, but I was trying to give him -something- .

>>18520848
>he has nothing to lose

yeah he does, sex shouldnt be a consolation prize

maybe it was cold but he had to do what was best for him before you drove him crazier

you don't think he's thinking about you right now? you don't think he will be thinking about you in the future? he'll never forget you anon, but he had to move on. this is extremely hard for him too, do you know how much courage he had to build up to pour his heart out to you? that shit isn't easy man. there's nothing you can do though, because it's nothing you did, except be an amazing friend to him so much so that you he had to drop you because he fell in love with you so hard. i really am sorry for what has happened to you and it really sucks to lose a friend like that especially after you were so close, but you have to just move on as best as you can

>>18520874
>hey i really want a pet dog
>here's a pet snake instead

he didn't want a snake, he wanted a dog

>>18520874
you have no idea how horrible that sounds, and I'm a jaded ageing man who's seen and done plenty.
I think this guy dodged a bullet already.
/thread

>>18520874
You wanted to give him something to make yourself feel better, not him.
If you wanted to help him, you could've acted like a Class A cunt on your last day to make it easier for him.
Instead you offered temptation. Like offering a person trying to quit smoking a puff of smoke to their face.

Honestly though, dude deserves it. What kind of grown ass man falls in love with some punk kid as stupid as you.

>guy is in love with you
>maybe it will go away if i have sex with him.
How dense can you be?
Fucking women seriously....

20 bucks says this ""relationship"" is one sided as fuck but this bitch in typical girl fashion presents it as an amazing friendship

she literally offered a fuck to keep him around, what the fuck, who does that

good on the dude for fucking off out of something he doesn't like

>>18520874
Because you are stupid.
He did not want just sex, you offering it is an insult you dumb cunt.

>>18520874
god you're bad

he's better off

This is why you guys don't get laid. Bet you're all post millennial retards. The guy is 28 ffs, you're all way off.

>>18520946

What does his age have to do with this?

>>18520874
Because he knows you didn't really want to fuck him, or at least not in the intimate way he wanted.

He doesn't want pity. He wants you, or not at all.

>>18520874
>I put myself out to do something I really didn't care to do
That's just it. He wants you to want to do it. Casual fucking and making love are different experiences anon

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>>18520946
>projecting this badly

>>18520813
Give it time. He doesn't want to be in a toxic relationship (which would not be and is not your fault at all) with a younger girl because of the way he feels. He's probably ashamed of the way he is in a way. What's clear is that he is pulling away from you so he doesn't hurt himself and so he doesn't hurt you emotionally. Give him space. He cares about you still, and he'll open up when he accepts himself and your lack of romantic feelings towards you.

Alternatively he's being a manipulate cunt and only pulling away in order to get you to chase him. It's probably the first one, though, but the advice is still the same. Give him space.

Yo why didnt you end up with him? Is he that ugly? Seems like the perfect guy to me.

>>18520948
Because in all likelihood he's not a gibbering frogposting newfag retard that gets assmad at the slightest mention of casual sex and screams "rreeee you're a cunt!!" on the internet as an autistic coping mechanism as did at least 7 shitposters in this thread. Those guys are usually young, and therefore can't relate to the emotional needs of an older, more mature adult.

>>18520874
It's not cold, it's actually weirdly considerate, emphasis on weird. You might be thinking that if you do that he'd realize how awkward it was and move on. The other possibility is that he'd get more attached, which is why he said no. It wasn't a bad offer, just a bad idea. In the same way, I don't think he's trying to be cold. Maybe he cried as much as you did, idk.

>>18520808
Been there, done that. Sometimes it's easier to just rip the bandaid off then try to pretend things are normal. You don't have to try and meander your way through some social interaction pretending things are ok, you can get all your hurting done at once and get on with the healing, instead of watching this relationship on life support slowly die anyway

The guy did what he thought was right. After you offered up your pussy and he said no, that's a man I can fully give my respect to. He knew what he wanted, and knew you well enough to understand you weren't going to give it to him. Knew that forcing it would only cost the relationship you shared but in a terrible like. He was a close friend, and it was likely you were going to continue seeing him as such after his reveal of deeper feelings. He's a man that knows that he would only drive himself mad by being so close to you but still separated by a rift of thought. Maybe you could have grown to love him as he loved you, but that is really rare. Just let him be, do not force yourself to feel anything for him that you didn't feel for him before all this.

You loved him as a friend. Leave it at that.

>>18520819

This.

>>18520874

It's cold because you didn't mean it.

>>18520813
>Why isn't he open to at least -trying- to make things work?
and there the drama begins.

i applaud the guy desu. he realized this options and went for the realistic path. he did not listen to he feelings telling him to stay but rather made the rational decision.

smart guy. nowadays i would behave exactly like he did.

>>18520874
Fucking Christ OP, he didn't want a pity fuck, he wanted your fucking heart. He knew it didn't mean shit to you, you claim to have known he didn't want it. He wants to be past you instead of stuck there going crazy for a girl he can't be with. And what do you go and fucking do? Tempt him

I have been that guy. The one that gets ropped in by the offer of sex. I regret taking that choice. It wasn't what I wanted, and she hadn't given me a proper answer but I took that consolation prize. It was the wrong choice. I should have stood my ground instead.

You know what happened afterwards? We dated, but something was wrong. My mind lost itself in the second guessing. I had her, physically, but did I actually have her heart? I lost respect for her as time went on, then trust, and finally love.

You saw him as an older brother? That was probably as far as you would love him. It was better that he walked. He needed to. It truly treasured the time you guys had. Likely why he had to go. If he stayed, and you never saw him as more, it would turn his love for you into poison. He would grow bitter loving you and getting nothing for it.

Maybe some day in the future he will reach out, when he stops loving you, and you can be friends again. Maybe. But understand that it won't ever be the same, and likely you won't get him as you had the chance.

The reason he didn't push further, because you only saw him as a close friend. You likely gave no hint of wanting more. Only a stupid dog keep barking up a tree that has nothing for him there. He's off to look for one that will bear him fruit.

>>18520802
Its better this way for him OP. He'll find someone to love him back someday and that woman will have a good man. Be happy for him.

Thank you guys for giving me an idea of what he's thinking.

My mother and sister think I'm an idiot for not being with him.

>>18521816
>My mother and sister think I'm an idiot for not being with him.

Not trying to be mean but you are a idiot for it, but also remember that you can't change this type of things

>>18521936

How am I an idiot for not being with a man I'm not attracted to, or in love with?

>>18522382
erh, that's not the idiot part, that's quite normal, it's no longer the 1950s.

the idiot part is thinking you can fuck with a decent guy as part of some consolation package and feel all magnanimous about yourself.

>Women: the thread

>>18522400

I didn't offer to make myself feel better. I offered because I felt I owed him -something-, anything really, and it was the only thing I could imagine I had that had any real value to him.

>>18522439
You're of no value to anyone. Sick and tired of girls like this, stringing guys along for their own amusement. kys please.

>>18522439
"my holes are the only things of value that i have to offer"

are you seriously suggesting this is what you actually think? are you fucking simple? you're 23? jesus christ are you in school or something fuck

you are a person, maybe you could have done something to salvage this but your only idea was to instantly become loose and offer casual sex?

>>18522538
>OP is a cum dumpster
Makes sense now?

>>18522530

I never strung him along.

>>18522538

He no longer wanted my friendship, he no longer wanted me in his life. While I love and care for him, I am not romantically interested in him.

Nothing else I have could matter.

I asked for one day. One day of our friendship, to hold and cherish in my memories. He gave me that, flawlessly.

In return I offered to give him a night of affection. A night where we would hold each other, be close. A night where I would give myself to him, and comfort him, and love him.

I couldn't give him that permanently. I couldn't manufacture enough romantic love for a permanent relationship. But for the friendship we had I felt I could muster enough endearment and compassion to give him what he really wanted for one night. I just wanted to see him as happy as he made me. I wanted to know I had given as well as I had got.

I thought maybe we could make it work if I gave him that moment to treasure between us.

>>18520813
>Him: "I want to be with you. If you can't give me a shot at a relationship, we should break shit off."
>You: "If I let you stick your dick into me once, would that be enough?"
Why on earth would that be enough? Do you think love is nothing more to a dude than sticking a dick into a cunt? You don't think guys romance waking up next to a woman? Falling asleep next to them? Sharing a life with them? Just reading the paper while having a cup of coffee in the morning while you eat breakfast?

You want things to stay the same, and thought giving him some sort of table scraps of love would be enough for him? I would be insulted, were I in his shoes.

At any rate, he's telling you things are going to change, one way or another. You CAN'T keep it the same, you just get to pick which way things will change.

>>18522561
he no longer wanted you in his life because you occupied a spot that could only be for the person he loves. do you understand that? you got into him, really close, close enough that he fell in love with you.

"nothing else I have could matter" how about nothing. offer him nothing. say you're sorry that you don't love him like that and help him on his way. you were literally trying to honey trap him!!

"in return, i offered him the most bittersweet temptation" how is that helpful. do you understand what you offered? you say you offer comfort, love, but only for a night. these things, if only lasting one night, are worse than never having them at all.

you thought maybe you could "make it work". what does that mean. you would be in a relationship where you do not love him? or do you mean you could keep him as a friend if you offered your hole??

come on. be an adult here. realize you made a terrible immature decision in offering that.

>>18522561
You were using him as a stand-in for a boyfriend, or as supplementary material. When a boyfriend was lacking in emotional support, you would go to him so that he could fill in the gap. Of course you want him where he is. That said, when he's doing that for you, he can't be doing that for others.

He wants a relationship, and so long as things stay the same, it isn't going to happen for him. He's tried explaining that, and you don't really care. You just want shit to stay the same, even if it makes him miserable.

All in all, you've been pretty shitty to him. And its not like you were the one to blame at first. But when he told you things needed to move forward, or he needed to move on, and you keep trying to bargain for things to stay the same (even offering one-time sex, like some prostitute), you instantly became shitty. You're not thinking about him. His wants, his desires, and his NEEDS. You're thinking about yourself, and nobody else. That makes you pretty shitty.

Were I in his shoes, I would have fallen out of love with you the second you offered to just let him dick you once. I would have been disgusted with you, because I would have felt like you saw me as a dog. "Give him a pat on the head, and a treat every once in a while, and he'll stick around forever."

What's more, you STILL don't even care. You've never once asked us why he felt like this. You only asked how you could manipulate him into doing what you wanted.

You're a dick.

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> Decided since he knows I don't want him, that rather than wasting time, energy, and developing negative feelings, we should just break things off.
> Try to convince him otherwise. He's having none of it.
> Ask him for a day.
> One last day where we go out and have fun. One last day together.
> Ask him if it has to be this way. Ask him if I let him sleep with me once would it change things.
> I've had similar situations with guy friends in the past. Sometimes they can live with the idea that they can't have the relationship they want, but can't live with watching a girl they want go on with life, date, get fucked, ect, while she's being dangled in front of him out of reach.
> Ask if he had me once, would that offset the negative feelings? ( I admit I was drunk when I thought of this. )

>I never strung him along

kys.

>>18522570
>you thought maybe you could "make it work". what does that mean. you would be in a relationship where you do not love him? or do you mean you could keep him as a friend if you offered your hole??

Honestly? I thought once he had sex with me he would become disillusioned towards me and realize he never actually loved me to begin with. If not, I was hoping that if he saw I was willing to give him something I really didn't want to give him, that he would realize how important he is to me, and that we could remain close through suffering. Him never having me, me knowing that he had a part of me I couldn't ever take back.

I'm not special. I'm not ugly, but not model material. I have few talents, and little going for me. I don't make much money; I'm not as smart as he is; to the last point I'm definitely not as in touch with my motivations or beliefs as he is in terms of root reasoning or cause.

There is no reason for him to love me. And when he talks about his love for me, it makes me feel more like he's simply infatuated.

He's been the one constant in my life since I met him. He's been more supportive and nurturing than even my parents, really.

I've been through it before, dudes do it all the time. They get an idea of you in your head and when you don't live up to it they act hurt. If I dated him he would grow to hate me for not being the woman he thinks I could be. I never wanted to see him look at me with hate.

I can't date him even if I wanted to anyways. He is out of my league, and the amount of ego I would have to have in order to say I deserved him that way would be outrageous. I couldn't make him happy even if I wanted to.

>>18522649
>If I dated him he would grow to hate me for not being the woman he thinks I could be. I never wanted to see him look at me with hate.
Let him decide that for himself.

>I can't date him even if I wanted to anyways. He is out of my league, and the amount of ego I would have to have in order to say I deserved him that way would be outrageous. I couldn't make him happy even if I wanted to.
Then make yourself someone who deserves to be with him WHILE you date him. Unless you just aren't attracted to him, at which point, let him go so he can find someone that IS attracted to him.

>>18522580

I wasn't using him as a stand in for a boyfriend. Fuck off with your MGTOW psuedopsychology.

Also, he never told me things needed to move forward or he needed to move on. He simply stated he was done, period. There was never an option to begin with.

And do the point that I don't care/never asked why he felt this way: I have said a good few times I don't understand. Half the purpose of this thread is me wanting to understand.

>>18520848
You have no idea the torturous and he'll like situation the friend zone is.
He was brave and strong and saved himself.
You're wanting him to set feels aside, he can't and that's so selfish of you.
He knows you're gonna find a douche bag boyfriend or two and he can't be witness to you saying " why aren't there any good guys out there"
Seriously this is the greatest male empowerment story I've heard, he is my hero.
You could seriously love him too, but you won't and will honestly never have a better man

>>18522671
It's been explained. You just don't accept the explanation. I'm a 8/10 dude on a scruffy day, and a 10/10 dude when I dress up. I'm married to a chick that is a 7/10 when she dresses up, and completely average looking when she doesn't.

Know why? We have common interests. She's smart. She's caring. She's honest. She's loyal. She's willing to give everything she has. She was literally willing to go homeless with me during the worst period of my life, rather than take an offer extended to her that wasn't extended to me.

Looks are only good for getting my dick hard, and she's good looking enough to where I don't have any difficulty in that department. Those other things, though? They matter WAY more. I don't know how you can't understand that maybe he sees those things in you.

>>18522649
>>18522671

He did the right thing to let you go and not waste his love on someone who didn't love him back. As others have said, offering yourself to him for one night was actually insulting on your part and you song too immature to understand that yet.

Maybe after some time goes by, like years, you two might be able to reconnect.

Just out of curiosity, in spite of the praise you have for this man, why didn't you have any feeling for him?

You then said he was out of your league. Are you really that insecure that you would waste this opportunity to end up with the guaranteed shitty boy that ALL really insecure girls end up with?

>>18520973
This

>>18522689
Also, whether you were aware of it or not, not in your case, you WERE using him as an emotional stand in for a boyfriend. And he was too old and mature to let that go on for the both of your sakes.

>>18522671
> He wouldn't fuck me
Can I fuck you in his place?

In the same breath you say you cannot bring yourself to be attracted to him, the same breath in which you say you cannot be with him romantically, is the same damn breath you question why he cannot try to be a friend, try to suppress his feelings for you and continue to give you what you want from him, while not receiving what he wants from you. You chastise this man for not trying, but let me tell you something, he has been trying for years.

I am just appalled at how women seem to think that men don't have wants, needs and feelings, it's all about you, what you want, what you need.

Men make sacrifices for women all of the time, whether that be through friendship, time, energy, monetary, hell even emotional. As soon as a woman is called to not only make sacrifices but to try, to put in a little effort, to do something that they maybe don't want to do, they are nowhere to be found.

You, question this man for not making the same sacrifices that you would not even be caught dead doing yourself!

You think you cant give him what he wants? No, its just that you don't want to. You are a hypocrite, and if you wonder why he's not willing to try anymore, there you go

/thread

>>18522777
Women are motivated by hypergamey.
> dating up
She doesn't see that being with him will provide either of the following
> good looks
> money
> stability
> a sense of danger
> status
> lifestyle increase
If he did, she'd "love" him. Women deny this but there is so much evidence out there that it's obvious. Just look at how many rich men have young beautiful girls.
Either way the dude just did something awesome. He was an honest upright and moral man. And her response in return was to soil it with a consolation offer of sex.
Seriously he should be held on high esteem, the type of man all men should be instead of those pathetic beta orbiters out there.
Either way I applaud him, his only downfall was that he didn't fill her hypergamey criteria

>>18522689
>Just out of curiosity, in spite of the praise you have for this man, why didn't you have any feeling for him?

Early in our friendship, when I was in high school and I only really saw him when he was visiting my parents, I developed a crush on him.

In school guys just wanted to fuck me. Honestly even older guys just saw me as a potential fuck. I didn't date much in my teens because of this. He however treated me like a person. He was genuinely interested in myself, my thoughts, my life, and his were fascinating as well. He had so many experiences and thoughts and ideas that I felt special someone like him would even speak to me.

But it was a petty crush, a whim. I knew he'd never want anything to do with me ( and at that time, at that age, I'm probably right about him not wanting anything to do with me at that point. ).

I put the crush aside, and as I got older and matured I decided to value his friendship and companionship. I told myself I'd always be his friend; I'd never forsake him.

Then, further down the line some more, I realized if I ever dated him and lost him by fucking up the relationship, I'd hate myself forever. So I decided I would never feel that way for him, and over time it became so natural that he became nearly asexual to me, like a brother or family member. The idea of sleeping with him is like sleeping with a close family member now.


>>18522708

You literally cannot make this claim by any real standard, it is at best speculation, and at worst projection. The only people who can make this claim is myself and him. He has never said he feels that this is the case, and I don't feel that was the case either.

>>18522871
The deepest emotional bond and you blew it..
I think no man you ever end up with will match this guy.
You may potentially have created the biggest regret of your life

>>18522814
You are half right, but you are wrong. I will explain:

Hypergmy is on a spectrum for women, some women are more naturally more hypergamous than others. HOWEVER A woman essentially has two modes in her life (3 including menopause), the "dating and having sex with losers, free unencumbered lifestyle" and "settling down with kids and family." lifestyle.

While women are hypergamous, some may not display a full hypergamous range of traits until they are looking for somebody to settle down with and have a family.
While you are incorrect, my theory also explains why women will date "bad boys" who treat them terribly and don't give a shit. When they hit 30y, looks start depreciating and all of that, they will look for and increasingly consider guys like the man from this thread, who I also believe did a commendable thing.

Intristingly enough, in 5 years time when OP reaches the age of maturity, 29-30y, it is at this point where she will truly understand the mistake she has made, and what her family and many here have said.

>>18522777
>he has been trying for years.

Also to this, he himself stated he has only really gotten to openly and knowingly being in love with me for a few months, maybe 6 months tops. He hasn't been struggling for the whole time, that would make him a pedophile and he'd have lost interest in me once I hit adulthood.

>>18520802
What the fuck is that picture

>>18522903
>Age of consent laws, while necessary, are also complete horse shit. Something magical doesn't happen when you go from 17 years 364 days old to 18 years old. Hell, in Germany, age of consent is like 16. Obviously it's a gradual thing.

I think there's actually something wrong with you. If you were half way decent, you would never offer a guy that loves you sex in the hopes that he will sit there and be your emotional chew toy. You seem to sincerely not understand why that shit isn't okay. You cheapened his feelings for you. It was manipulative of you to offer him one last day under the promise that you'd accept his decision, and then try to convince him to change his mind once again. All you did was make it harder on him.

If you actually loved him as a friend, you would want him to be happy. He can't be happy with you in his life. It isn't your fault that you don't love him, but it doesn't change the fact that he isn't going to be able to find someone that loves him and be receptive to it with you around. This the time where you stop being selfish and for ONCE in your entire relationship with him, YOU give back by leaving.

You're as you legitimately expect this man to give to you so you can take from him without giving anything back. You're too old to be this way and that's a habit you need to break starting with him. I'm not sure why such an honorable dude was into you to begin with you when you so clearly give 0 fucks about other people's feelings.

Additionally, don't make excuses for why you aren't into him, because that isn't the problem. The "oh well I don't want to date him because if it up I'd hate myself forever!!" is actual bullshit. Just be honest and say you AREN'T romantically interested in him instead of trying to justify it.

Let him go. Leave him alone. Don't reach out again. Your wants are not greater than his needs, and for his emotional well being, he NEEDS you out of his life so he can get over this and this shit with you and move on. He is a grown ass man that is aware of his needs and you need to listen to him when he tells you that he needs you gone. Cherish the time you had with him and move on for his sake.

This guy really dodged a bullet, though. I mean, I can't believe OP is seriously trying to justify not dating him. Like you don't like him, and that's fine, but just SAY THAT AND BE DONE WITH IT. Leave the "oh he's out of my league" and "omg im not the woman he thinks I can be!!!" shit out of it. That isn't why you aren't dating him, and you're only saying that to get reassured that you are worthy or can become worthy of him, but you're actually probably right about yourself there.

Dear OP, this post >>18522885 MIGHT be true. You should think about this and appreciate the fact that as a 23 year old girl, in a Western country, you have no fucken idea what is going on around you and you won't for at least many years. This is not your fault but none the less a fact of existence in the make believe culture we live in now.

Take some time and think about things. You sound very insecure and an older more mature man might be exactly what you need.

Hey OP,
Lots of hate here
But let me tell you, I'm a guy and I think what you offered was very generous. You're a good person and I hope all goes well for you

Ages don't mach up but other than that and your weird 'hey man let's fuck' I've been on the exact same boat as your guy, OP. I mean word by word.

>He wanted you.
>He can't have you.
>He can't deal with not having you anymore
>Therefore he decided to get away to make it easier for both of you.
Would you rather have him around trying to make moves and not respecting you anymore?

There, that was his reasoning, you're welcome. And don't believe you're getting over it any time soon, been years and I still think about C.

>>18522981
>kissless virgin detected

>>18523020
Nah, I'm pretty experienced with girls

>>18523023
pity fucks count as experience?

>>18520802
>>18520804
>>18520808
>>18520813


This happened to my best guy friend and I. We knew each other since we were 8 years old and that made me see him as a brother. It was very painful when he told me that we could not be friends anymore because of the lack of attraction I had for him. This happened when I was 20 years old. I still think about him a lot and get sad because it is like he is dead to me. I get angry sometimes too because he dropped me just because he had feelings. At the same time I have to rationalize how painful it can be for a guy to see someone he loves not love him back.

Things will get better anon I promise. Be happy for the times you shared with him, nothing lasts forever.

>>18523056
>I get angry sometimes too because he dropped me just because he had feelings.
well all I can say is thank fuck [for him] those feels weren't reciprocated.

>>18523059
hey I know that its irrational to be angry about that, I said that I understand that he had to do what he had to do. I have feelings too, it's not like I bitched him out. I kept my anger and hurt feelings to myself and accepted that he had to move on.

OP seems to be confused about what her friend wanted by offering sex. She made a mistake on what intentions the guy had, and it's ok to make a mistake. We all make mistakes with communication.

I think the best thing for OP to do is to move on herself and give herself a little time to mourn the friendship that she lost.

>>18523071
I know, I'm just poking some fun on this anonymous board.

But you have to understand, despite the whole caricatural portrayal of the muh feels meme, that unrequited love is an awful thing, (unless you're a semi-professional singer-songwriter), and no self-respecting man wants to turn into a beta-orbiter - or worse - be expected to become one for the sake of muh friendship.

There is an inexorable sexual polarity between men and women that mixed education and relativistic post-modern genderbending cannot eradicate, it's as simple as that.

>>18523084
yes I know that unrequited love is awful because I have experienced it myself. If you re-read my post you will see that I stated that I understood how he felt despite me being mad.

Since he moved on I have realized that men and women can hardly ever be friends without some kind of attraction forming, usually on the mans side.

>>18523095
the answer to that is simple: women want to have their cake and eat it. men just want to eat it.

>>18523071
I shouldn't ask but can you talk about how you got over it? I'm >>18522983 and still worry about her not being ok.

>>18523108
Not always. I saw my friend as a sibling because of how young we met so I did not keep him around for an ego boost or for attention.

I think what you said applies to most female/male relationships though. A lot of women acknowledge that their male friends want to fuck them but they turn a blind eye so they can feel validated and wanted.

This personally makes me feel weird so I do not keep men as friends.

>>18523124
>can you talk about how you got over it?

Time heals all wounds. Instead of being bitter about the memories we shared I smile now because I was lucky enough to grow up with a friend who wanted to watch anime with me, drink tea with me, and paint with me. I was lucky enough to have a friend for 12 years and have many memories.

I basically look at him moving on as him passing away because we do not have any sort of contact anymore. I am grateful for what we had together.

Everyone dies and nothing is forever, even people who are happily married for 60 years have to pass away some time.

>>18523061

Um, OP?

>>18520802
How could you be so sure after having a night with him you wouldn't feel something. Had a similar deep friendship with a guy and he came to me saying he fucked up and fell in love with me after being with me constantly as I worked through the grief of a partners death. Once he knew I would be ok he detached and it broke me. He could have easily taken advantage of my grief and never did and was the same consistent man the whole time I knew him. I called him in a panic after a month and had to see him and he agreed and we had a wonderful day, as if nothing had ever happened. I cooked him dinner and to stretch my time with him out I coaxed him into bed. Early morning he left and last I vaguely remember is a light kiss on my forehead, he was gone. I fucked up however, it doesn't feel like a friend is gone but my lover.

>>18523839

Guess her guy was a frogposter after all. What a cuck.

You dodged a bullet OP. You don't need someone that immature and obsessive in your life.

>>18522561
>>18522649
>>18522671
>>18522871
I have THE explanation to your problem. I have THE answer to the things you don't understand.
Ready?
You're fucking stupid.
You are so stupid that if your stupidity took a physical form, its size would challenge Mt. Everest.

Let me rephrase that - you deserve neither his friendship, nor his love. You deserve nothing from him and your soon-to-be loose cunt is not valuable at all.

Fortunately, despite you being a dumb cunt, you will gain enough mental capacity in the future to realise that you fucked up beyond comprehension and it will sink in. And boy, oh boy, when it'll sink in, it's gonna drag you down forcefully and keep on dragging you around. You will feel it. Oh trust me, you will. And I look forward to your suicide thread in the next few years.

I'm glad ops friend fucked off and I hope he finds someone as good as him.