GIOYC

Is it possible to be truly in love but still be unhappy with the relationship?

I felt like I truly loved her. Even after everything that happened, after she left me, told me to never speak to her agaon. After I hurt her and she hurt me, there's no hate in my heart, only love. After everything that's happened I only want her happiness. If I got an invite to her wedding right now I would be genuinely happy for her, sad but happy for her.

Our relationship was a mess both of us were unhappy, but I feel like the reason we went for so long was out of love.

But to me that also sounds a bit like a contradiction.

>>18519676
Why were you guys unhappy if you were in love?

>Encounter girl online around April-May 2014
>Get really close and blah blah e-love, skype the whole deal
>Talk about a future together etc
>She finds a job (formerly unemployed for many years) and an apt etc all to do what we planned
>Plan was for me to fly across the ocean to be with her and start a new life (get married which was the only way to really do that)
>I go in early Nov 2016
>End up taking the return fight back in dec over disagreement
The disagreement was that she wants to be married only once and I kept saying that's the idea but nothing is 100% certain. Now that's just common sense or am I wrong?
>Fast forward I go back in Jan of the following year after a lot of "please give me another chance" "I'll never make the same mistake again"
So now I'm back home again after spending many months there with her.
She gave me the whole wanting to be sure about marriage because only once and her having doubts due to my controlling nature and some of the arguing.
Now that's fair, HOWEVER I told her before I left that having me go back again was basically ending this because you can't expect the person to just wait for you. There's also the feeling of rejection TWICE after taking these long journeys. I feel like an idiot honestly
Now she spams me with "true love waits" and "bodies can be separated, hearts can't"

Am I wrong in thinking that if you go through all this to be together and in the end you decide to have the person go back to their country then you can't possibly love them as much as you claim?
I feel that if you love something so much you don't let it go, that's just how people are
If it was a case of yes I don't love you enough to do this then ok but to claim to be my destiny and blah blah blah while having me go back

TL;DR - If you truly love someone, would you have them go back?
Am I wrong in thinking that if you have them return you know that you're risking never ever being with that person?
If it were me doing it, I'd know it's pretty much over

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Please replace (or at the very least clean) the faucet aerators in your home

>>18519678
She was generally unloyal and noncommittal.

She wanted to date and have sex with atleast 3 guys before she settled down with one guy. She wanted to move to Portland for college and she said it didn't matter if she found her soulmate she was breaking up with whoever she was with when she left for college.

She wanted to live life like that and I was unhappy because I wanted to be with her forever. And she had this idea that we'd get back together when she came back from Portland and be happy. Of course I argued that if she still wanted to be with me when she came back why not just try for a long distance. I also didn't understand the point in wanting to have sex with multiple people. I guess that's just how I am idk, I'd rather just be with the one person I loved.

It was this back and forth argument that brought the end of us.

We were unhappy I guess because our ideals were just too different.

>>18519681
Lets just assume I'm not a great person in general
The point is if you go on about how you'll never be interested in another and blah blah blah while having the person go back to their land twice then you couldn't possibly love them as much as you claim
When chicks want you they will never let go

>be bad at math
>parents wondering why I haven't tranfered yet
What do

FUCKING. WINNING. but not me personally. fug. ugh.

Help I cant stop looking at my ex's social media. She still has pics of us up and she keeps posting sad stuff which makes me feel like she might still care for me. Even though I know thats unlikely.
I keep telling myself to stop looking at it and that its unhealthy when I'm trying to move on but I have a problem I cant stop.

>>18519768
She's using it for attention so she can be the poor victim or she's trying to get a reaction out of you to how she can still have you if she wants
Could be both, either way stay away

Any lawfags here? I'll be meeting with my lawyer soon. Do I send my C&D letter to the person's home or office? I only know their office address.

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I would like to find out how guys find women online that are just down to fuck. I know there has to be tons of them but I don't know Where to look I guess? I've already tried Tinder and meetme and have had 0 results. I'm not a bad looking dude either, I just have become very anti-social over the past few years. I think I may just be terrible at talking to girls online. Also interested in finding a sugar momma, how do I do this?

>>18519673

Might have an adderall problem. Might also be an alcoholic. Been high almost every day for the last 11 years.

Been doing yoga for almost 2 years, seriously started weight lifting about 2 months ago.

Thanks to yoga, I can see how doing drugs has negatively affected my life, but I just like doing drugs and drinking.

I tell myself I do yoga and weight lifting to take care of myself, but I really might just be taking care of my body so I can do more drugs and drinking.

Thoughts?

>>18519851
>>18519844
>>18519698
This question is really getting old.

Hope the drugs kill you. Wish that you and everybody else could see my brains splattered everywhere, see first hand the permanent damage you left

I don't feel like a man, i feel like i've been castrated by people around me, mostly parents.

I don't have any friends, no one likes me, i have been the same for over 10 years, fuck this shit.

This is cunty, but I don't know where else to vent.
>used to be fat in middle school
>my friends who were thin would humble-brag in front of me about how """fat""" they were
>change schools around HS
>ED sets in so I end up losing weight
>senior year/just before graduation
>check FB
>one of the girls from middle school got chubby as fuck
>I used to be so jealous of her body because she was 86lbs and an hourglass, and now she's fatter than me
>can't help but feel a sick smugness
I'm watching this episode of Sailor Moon that brought back memories of the humble bragging and it just triggered the fuck out of me.

Got married a few years ago, having a kid with this woman and I love her more than anything. Couple of nights back, i'm drinking beers with a friend, who's in a long term relationship with a grill, and end up sucking his dick, swallowing his cum. I know i'm bisexual, and i know he's way down in the closet.

I'm fine having done it, and i'm glad i got the chance to explore that side of my sexuality and company with this guy isn't awkward at all. Trouble is I kinda want more... more sucking, more full-on man-pounding action, and beings as the sex has dried up, this close to my kid's birth, i only feel the slightest twinge of guilt about having cheated. Hell, i've felt worse when spending time with girls. I'm not sure if I want advice, or just perspective, or for other people to tell me i'm shitty. I literally can't speak to anyone in person about it, not that I really want to.

I want you people to be in pain for what you did to me. Let me find you

>>18519673
It's so fucking unfair how she just goes to her friends and family after we broke up and just talks shit. They all see me as a psycho.
Of course they'll believe her because theyre friends with her not me. They're her family not mines. They'll just ignore all the shit she did and how shitty she acted because I'm the psycho right? I'm the piece of shit.

I get it. They're supportive of her because they care for her. I get it. But it's just so frustrating how these things happen.

>>18520049
I'm in pain already so you don't need to do anything.

>>18519686
Welp. I'll be giving mine a check once I get home anon. Thanks.

every now and then I spiral down into this feeling when I don't have any motivation to do anything and every embarrassing thing, every time I fucked up in the past, comes back to me and depresses the fuck out of me.
It triggers my anxiety and I can't focus on doing anything.
Anything I can do that will help? I know waiting it out seems to be the only way but this time I just had enough of this feeling...

I used to think I was the most interesting person ever. Now I think like I'm the least interesting. Why would a girl date me?

Is this process of a breakup suppose to be this painful and repetitive?

Every night I get sad and then around 4:30 ish I go out drive to a park and have a smoke and reflect on life. I end up thinking Fuck her she didnt appreciate me I hope she has a great life we're better off this way. You know all of that. Then I feel better.

And repeat every night. I feel like I'm going insane I miss her more and more every night but at the feel time I feel like I don't

I actually feel like I'm in limbo or something.

>>18520294
I just had that exact same thing re-occur to me just now.
I thought I was over her, its been about a month now, but now all of a sudden it came back. I think once you find another girl and focus on her, you'll just forget about the previous one, thats what I'm hoping for anyway

Any basic dating advice to not fuck up my first date ever?
I'm literally fine with myself in every aspect of my life except flirting,i'm like an elementary schooler in terms of experience and about how flirting, hinting and the whole dating limbo works.

It's because all I've ever wanted was someone whom I respect to respect me. This is probably relatable to most of you with less-than-ideal parents. I mean, they tried some, but after a certain point you can't help but view them as fundamentally different from you.

You know the type of people I respect? The analytical type. The ones who have a strong sense of self, and seem to impose their logic on the rest of the world. People who have a sense of values, a way to contextualize things, and a trait for observation. Ever consider how the majority of people in the Western world acknowledge climate change to be a source for cataclysm, and proceed to ignore it almost at all times? I want someone who knows how to react to stuff like this. Even if they don't give a shit like most people, they should be able to explain why. Have some values, or a goal, and stick to them. Fuck sakes, do something.

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I feel like I've wasted the past year and a half chasing a crush on the basis of her maybe being interested, only to have her finally say she wants to be friends. I've been expecting it to happen though. For a while I thought we were perfect for each other si'ce we got along well and could talk and joke about anything, but looking back she's never really cared. The majority of the times I tried to make plans with her she'd say she was busy or that she forgot, but I guess I elected to ignore that part and only see that we shared a similar sense of humour.
I don't want to be friends with her though. Between her lack of reliability and the fact that I'll probably still have pangs of feelings for her for months to come, I just don't think it'll work out. I know I'll be stuck wondering if maybe she's changed her mind since we last spoke, even though I'm pretty sure now that it won't be the case and even if it were then fuck her, she's had her chance and she blew it. Same as myself. I blew my chances too and I can't go back either.
It's a pretty recent thing so part of me obviously still wants it but I know that it's better if I don't get it, and better that nothing happened. With the mindset that I had I know it wouldn't have been a healthy relationship. I got the impression that she was leading me on intentionally, meaning that, at best, she actually was, and at worst that I have trust issues. I don't know which is actually the case, but I do know that I could have gone about it better, both in trying to start a relationship and leaving the notion behind once it became evident that it was going nowhere.
At the very least I've learned some lessons. Hopefully they stick for the next time I meet someone I'd like to start something with, whenever that will be

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>>18519673
It fucking pisses me off how she always talks to her friends and connects with them and blows me off entirely. Sometimes i feel like i shouldnt even bother going out with her because she never pays any attention to me. When im around her with her pals.

I get so jealous of her friends too. Its like they are better at being her boyfriend than i am. She goes to them for moral support, they get her chocolate during her time of the month, they constantly have inside jokes and they always touch eachother. It makes me so uncomfortable. I just wish i could be that person, always there for her, supportive, etc.

>>18520408
>>18520441
I really hope the person I'm talking to doesn't think I'm like either of you two.

>>18520469
I hope I'm not like you either

>>18520294
I feel like I want to die. She said at the end if I loved her let her go. And when I couldnt she blocked me on everything and told me she never wanted to see me again. It hurts so fucking much.

My oneitis was on an overnight date
I wish I were the lucky gal...

I'm hearing lots of voices with very specific and sometimes contradictory messages and requests which is unusual

So I want to find this grill I know for the longest time, how reliable is 4chan in tracking and knowing where she lives?

My cousin is asking me to babysit her kids tonight, but I really don't want to. How do I say no without seeming like a jerk?

>>18520632
Omg dude I'm laughing at how pathetic you are so hard right now hahaha

>>18520638
Well, I glad someone can get a positive feeling from it.

Are online search sites for lost relatives or friends true? Or are they just scammers wanting your credit card number?

>>18520632
Dude space

>>18520134
Same here. Anymore pain will won't make a difference.

>>18520711
Fuck. Space is hard. How do I even start? Just saying I need to give them Space? Do I just stop talking to them altogether?
I have no idea how to handle this.

>>18520632
I feel you bro. Sometimes acting and doing and especially when there's another important person involved: fuck, it's confusing, never right. Just wish I could end it all, but it wouldn't be and end, it would be just leaving the playfield :/ Suck however whenever.

>>18520717
A mix of being there when they need you and being alone with yourself, for your sanity. You need the space too anon, not just her. She already said she needs to fix herself, wait for that and trust her. While you do love yourself, gym arts whatever you like ti immerse yourself with. Grow as a person as she is also trying to grow in her own way.

>>18520632
>>18520665
>No one wants to have that in their lives, a constant reminder of failure. (You're not the failure her actions are.)

>>18520733
Hmm. Okay. I need to really try to. It's not easy. I think about her constantly. I have tried to distract myself, but i always go back to thinking about her. I know I'm driving myself mad. I know I am probably stressing her with all this as well. How do I stop this? How do i apologize for being this way? Do I just come out and say it? Just apologize for something she can't seem to point out but in can feel is there? Or just stay quiet?

>>18519673
How do I reignite the spark in a relationship? I'm not sure if my feelings have faded or not.

>>18520750
Op, unrequited love is one of life's biggest disappointments. There is nothing to do apart from move on and give up the ghost. You can't change her mind or somehow get her feelings to align with yours. It's a no win situation, that only time and space can heal. She's moved on, you can't accept the fact.

>>18520750
What is there to apologize for? Yes you had issues but did you actually talk about them? Being the man you have to set aside your emotions when you talk about the past, just listen. Tell her you can't let the past get in the way and make her open up on how she feels. Listen to everything she has to say. After that tell her your piece, but be brief, again just facts no emotions. You can't stop what you're feeling since you don't know what it is. The constant struggle to k ow if she loves you or not. It will eat you inside since it seems you don't trust her. And that's fair since she makes you feel guilty. I have no idea why she does this so better ask her.

How do I stop letting myself get cucked by every girl I meet? I'm always too scared to ask out any girl that I enjoy being around because I don't want to lose our friendship, so I put myself in a position where they'll never see me as anything more than that; a friend.
Because of this, I've never had a girlfriend and I've never officially gone on a date.

Okay. Okay.
First thing I need to do is learn to relax.
I will take these in earnest and try.

>>18520779
If she's moved on. It would be nice to know, I think that's why this stings. She keeps saying stuff that goes against it. She continues to talk to me, continues to show concern and care, tell me that she continues to think about me and misses me. Yet, her actions are completely opposite to all this. Maybe I'm just over thinking everything.

It could honestly be that I need to do as
>>18520733
said and I need to just slow the fuck down and chill.
>>18520780
It's just that I know I been acting too fucking needy. Still. We didn't actually talk them out. Maybe this is what I been trying to get at, just a chance to honestly clear the water. And, I think I want to apologize for going the wrong way about this. Don't trust her? Hmm. I need to think on this. This was early on and I got mad at her doing that. She stopped bring it up since then.

Fuck, I'm a mess.

what are you paying him/threatening him with?

>>18520812
First a lesson in grammar, for the pronoun "I" putt "have" before "been".
Are you relaxed now? Clear the waters and decide on what you two should do. Don't apologize yet. Appologize when she opens up. And lastly if you don't trust her why do you love her?

>>18520820
Sex

Emotions are a waste of energy, much like a lot of things. Ever since I was child, I really never understood why people cry or get angry. However, the usefulness of emotions in particular situations can be of benefit. I'm extremely analytical and my observational skills are almost perfected.

As a child, I spent most of my time alone, left to my own devices. I conducted experiments with my friends and family, to see how I could control them. I get pleasure from invading a persons brain and pulling the strings. When I'm done with my play things, I leave them a broken husk.

Words of wisdom, keep everyone at arms length, you never know when someone like me will strike. You would be horrffied at how easy it is to get people to trust you. That's how you get turned into pig feed.

> I have been 2 days without going out.
> I don't want to do anything, not even met with my only 2 friends left.
> I am becoming mad.

>>18519673
I can't live with this lie anymore. I want to show my true colors. I don't wanna hide the truth anymore. I can't be like this forever. Closed in a metal closet trying to say what's in my heart. I just want to come out to my parents, despite being religious and furious about being gay.

Is a first date a failure if you don't come out of it with at least a kiss?

>>18520834
Better. Idle mind with too much time on it tends to break down.
I have been trying to figure this out myself. Not sure how to really go about this. It's funny, I come to /adv/ and I end up helping others, or at least they thank me as if I helped. A few times it has been people in a similar situation as myself, and yet, I can not apply any of this. I am stuck in the same loop, overreaction, destruction, reconstruction, build up. It has been months like this. I try to think about everything in this relationship and I always come to the same conclusion, I have to stop. I'm only hurting myself. Yet, I can't break free, I can't let go.
If I don't trust her, why do I love her? I don't even know anymore, nor do I know how to think this out. All info know is that I can't keep running myself into the ground. I need to stop somehow.

>>18520891
Have you come out to someone else first?
Why do you feel the need of your parents knowing that side of you?
Of course, they are your parents, obviously you care about what they think of you. But if you know they hate gays because of their prejudices, and you know you can't take their eventual bad reaction, just fortify yourself with life experiences, or talk about it to your bf or a trusted friend first.

There's no point in coming out if the other doesn't listen, unless you do it exclusively for your own sake, in which case you shouldn't care about reactions.

>>18520932
Stop the loop at destruction, by this I mean destroy what ever it is that's making you two grow bitter together. You can do this by talking it out. Then tell her that too, that you don't trust her, tell her why. If she can somehow fix it then by all means. But if she can't tell her to stop leading you on. Either you want the relationship or not. Space really does wonders after a deep talk with each other. Be witb yourselfs first and ponder alone. Then come back with your answers. Depending on the answers you can rebuild alone or together. This way the cycle can end.

Why am I still dragging myself through this life. Stop obsessing over how you imagine your perfect suicide and just do it you egotistical nobody.

>>18519673
>everybody at my office makes fun of me
>I constantly hear the girls talking about me behind my back
>nobody I know shares my hobbies
>I have 2 irl friends that actually care about me
>my dad hates me and my mom is dead
What do I do /adv/? I'm considering breaking off and suicide if ill just wake up to the same day every day

>>18520846
So would you call yourself an "observist" or a "narcissist?"

>>18520964
Thank you.

I dont know whhere to go after my masters. Two things I am afraid of in life is never finding real love or ending up as a tool and going full retard on career and eventually realize I when its too late by my 40s that money cant buy me happiness.

I feel like I am about to pursue both of those situations and I dont know how to change it.

>>18520846
I've fallen victim to someone like you. I'm still in love with them. I hope you find something more productive to do with your time.

>>18520891
What's the big deal? Do you live in some super religious country?
I lost a really good friend because he couldn't deal with me being gay and comfortable in my life, while he remained living a lie.

I've wasted so many opportunities for friendship and love, oh why was I like this, it was right there in front of me, I just had to grab it, even the ones I grabbed I didn't hold on to.

Fuck it all to hell.

>>18521004
Anon love can find you at any point in life, two of my friends found love in their 50s and 60s.

>>18520756
Take him/her out for a date. Or take a minivacation and see how it goes. It'll be a secret test for you to see how they react in certain date like situations

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I have the whole site to myself today. I know where I can go, and I want to really bad. I'm so horny right now. I have been so stressed out lately. I want to masturbate so badly. I want to let it out.

>>18521083
We're going out tomorrow. I fear I might have rOCD (I have been diagnosed with actual OCD) which leaves me feeling numb.

something is eating at me now
and I need to know, who pretended to be the Asian kid I talked to that one night, the one that told you had BPD
was it you or your ex?
Jesus Christ, I'm begging to think it was you.

Nefarious Observer is more fitting I believe.

I've been putting out fires with gasoline.
Then again, maybe I just like to see things burn.

I want to be a lady. I am a lady.
Why can't you understand? This is who I am.

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I don't love you. I don't think I ever really could. But I love your voice, and that way you giggle about. I wish we lived near each other so we could hang out. Maybe even fuck. It's so wrong and maybe that's what I want. That's it's taboo. I think about your cock whenever we talk to and it gets me hard thinking about it. Not sure what my gf would say if she heard me saying this, if she found the pictured you sent me, but I should stop. I have her and you're just a fascination. Although, given the chance. I'm not sure I would turn down a chance to touch you, to grab your cock and suck on it. I want maybe just one chance to taste you. Then we can forget about each other and I can go on being normal.

>>18519673
Despite having a really great social life i can't manage to be attractive, have a girl interested in me/get laid. Everyone around me pairs up and I just feel so hopeless.

It took me a bit but I finally realized why everyone portrays the white cat, robot, girl with a damaged left arm.

It's from that time I put a lovely scar on my porcelain skin.

I am glad we are on talking terms again, lets repair all the damage that has happened. I hope you are honest about what happened this week... if not I might be the one who leaves this time. We need to be upfront with each other if we ever hope to overcome this.

>>18519673
I had a dream last night that I would be accused of rape by a girl named Robin.

Today my bro invited me to a party. How do I make sure there are no Robins at the party? I plan on getting pretty wasted, but don't want to fight a rape charge.

I'm 25 years old, been with my boyfriend for 5 years, he's 31. He's not physically attractive, but he has an awesome personality.

I just started a new job and a 19 year old guy asked me for my number while we were alone together at work. I just froze up and couldn't say anything, then he didn't show up to work for the past two days.
He's a fit guy, should I even bring up that I have a boyfriend or should I just give him some other excuse for not wanting to give him my number? Should I just not say anything and leave the situation as it is?

>>18521559
Tell him you have a boyfriend. Don't lead people on or potentially cause future temptation.

My life's fucked and I don't think I want to fix it I can't remember the last time I wanted to be alive my gf of 4 years used me for all 4 of those years and one night I come home from work and find her dead in my shower with my gun and the worst part is I still love her she's all I can think about I've been to therapy I've been on meds I moved state and I fell into drug addition I still think about her every day I can't see my self happy with anyone else it literally feels like I'm in hell and I'm to much of a pussy to kill my self I've been thinking about trying to pay someone else to kill me anything to make feeling like this everyday to go away

>>18521568
Do not shoulder the burden of your girlfriend's pain and mistakes, they're not your feelings to bear. At that time, she decided the only way up was out.

You sound like you've hit a low point, anon. Most everyone does, but only the strong willed can pull through and come out stronger and wiser. These low points, the times filled with mistakes and failure, embrace them because they're temporary and almost always provide something you can learn from. Use them as heat to forge your armor.

It's up to you to decide whether or not you have the will to keep going and see what life has in store for you, or throw in the towel and possibly never see or experience anything again. The latter can sound very comforting when you're in a place of pain, but it's a regrettable mistake when the high times are waiting right around the corner.

>>18521565
I guess I just feel totally weird about being attracted to someone younger than me. I feel less weird just blaming it on something else.

I started a fwb thing with my closest friend. He offered it after finding out we were very capable sexually. I never had an fwb before and I wanted to try to see what it's like. But I fucked myself over. I'm too emotional for this thing. I have to stop it and get over him, and it kills me that it means I can't be close with him anymore.

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I've struggled to make this post. I've been parked in this thread all day. I am so depressed I can hardly think clearly. I only take pleasure in the most sort of base and simple appetites like eating and looking at porn. I don't even know what to do. I wanted to craft a well-written post entreating /adv/ for guidance, but I have been feeling so poorly these past few months I don't even know what to do. It's gotten really, really bad the past two weeks and today I feel as if I am in the presence of profound grief. I feel almost as if I am at a funeral and someone I love has died. Please help. What should I do?

Why you have to be right on the other side of this damned earth.

I hate to miss you M in Australia.

got my biweekly paycheck yesterday.
put it all in cash in my wallet
go to hospital
turns out my depression is now clinically severe instead of just the general "major"
but at least the issues my wife and i were havimg with our unborn child have gotten better
she'll be okay
finally got good insurance
saw my dad and grandpa whom are both now well recovered from their strokes
see my sister and her baby
go to store for diapers
get to register and realize my wallet is gone
put everything back and go to service desk
wallet is there but the money is gone
dont know what to do from here

If it's okay for people to use racial slurs casually because it's "just a word", why is it still considered offensive for me to call those same people "stupid cunts", "failed abortions" or "mouth-breathing shitheads"? They're all just words at the end of the day, after all.

>>18521739
It is not the words you use, it is the context in which you use them which causes upset in reasonable people. Unreasonable people are more upset by a word then the context in which it is used.

>>18519673
I just had a suicidal thought for the first time in five years, and I'm worried.

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I love you so, so much, but ever since I moved in with you, I've had no time to myself. I like to work, and I like to be creative, but I can't seem to do what I want to around you. You are a distraction in my life, and right now, I don't need anymore distractions in my life. By the end of the month, I need to find a new place, and soon I'll need a new job. Everything is moving so fast for me, and your life is so slow and unencumbered. I want to spend every moment with you, I do. I hate to waste these summer days, but I need money, and I need to build my portfolio. I know we mostly see each other during the weekend, but I need most the hours to myself, to improve who I am and where I'm going.

I'm going through a lot, I'm terribly confused, and highly depressed. I don't know where I'm going to be in August, and I don't know where to find the time or energy to please you and myself. I wish you would understand.

>>18519673
I miss you so much! Why'd I have to get so attached?

>>18521745
Okay, so what about this context?
>non-black person messages black person they don't actually know saying "What's up nigga"
>black person responds "Nothing much, failed abortion"
>non-black person gets upset even though both terms were used in the same casual context
Is the non-black person in the wrong?

>>18521759
Depends on the kind of person that black person is, if the black person is fine with that and calls their friend their niggas then it is just someone responding in kind and trying to be friendly. Keep in mind too nigga != nigger.

>>18520305
I had my heart broken 3 times I was dumped once and a dumped twice (both terrible regrets). What I can tell you is that you always learn something from it. My 3 ex were all very different persons and guess what? They all had that "she's so unique" thing, but that's just what happens when you are in love. Each person you meet is unique and special somehow. You'll find someone. Meanwhile think about sorting yourself out.

It's just pointless. Everything is pointless. I cannot deal with this anymore. I am so scared all the time. It's like I am made out of fear. How can this feeling stop?

>friends are few, but fantastic
>no real hobbies outside the house
>live alone with a cat
>overlooked romantically, too boring
>live in an area filled with high school dropouts and the elderly
>too picky to settle

I see a padded room in my future.

>>18521808
Aight, slow down, m8.
What measures have you taken so far to improve the situation? That way when people suggest something it's a new option for you.

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>Be 20 years
>Never had single kiss or gf
>Tried too all of school
>Even went outside and got /fit/
>Went to Prom and Project Grad.
>Even got a job and a life
How, I did everything that is needed to get one, and I still got none.
I tried all my best, and never did.
Can I just fucking die now?

>>18521820
I try to distract myself, I read, I spend time around people, I exercise, I try to laugh often even though it hurts to even exist. I cannot always distract my thoughts. Also, therapists are a waste of money & time and all they do is prescribe you with drugs that your body gets addicted to.
I have paranoid thoughts about people. I always think the worst possible scenario is going to happen and I cannot stand the fact that existence is just a mere illusion. I can't swallow that.

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>>18521845
Yep, I know that feel. There's no stopping the thought route. Therapy and medication are definitely a no-go.

Any dabbling in meditation?

>>18520482
Are you a schizophrenic? What are the voices saying?

>>18521866
Never tried meditation. Perhaps I should. Have you tried it?

This guy at work makes me nervous. I think he's kind of cute, but he doesn't seem interested in the slightest. He'll have conversations with everyone else, but rarely speaks with me. I tried to say good morning once and I got a clipped response back. Should I just ignore him?

>>18521900
I have. I need to do it more.

In my case it helps focus myself. It may not clear your head, but it lets you think a little more clearly. May make the day-to-day that much easier.

>>18521548
Oh, you are pretending to be away but are actually trying to avoid talking. I guess my suspicions about what you are up to this week are confirmed. I am not going to bring it up though for the sake of our friendship, but I kinda wish you'd have been honest with me upfront. That was pretty cruel and inconsiderate, and it cost me quite a bit of cash. Not that I care about the cash.

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im visiting family against my will because my dad guilt tripped me into seeing them and i fucking hate them
ive got various mental illnesses, which somehow they know about even though ive kept it private and they make me so nervous
i end up stuttering and mumbling a lot, something i rarely do, and they all treat me retarded because of it
i cant hold a conversation, cant keep eye conact, and they do shit like mimic my voice and mock whatever i say
theyre all middle aged fucks too which makes it extra embarassing. like why make fun of someone whos 20 years younger than all of you.
i have to stay here until monday and i can feel myself slipping into crisis quickly, like i'll have to be admitted to a psych ward before i leave
help anons

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Depression is hitting really hard, lately. My family is messed up. No friends. Really not got anything going on. May stick around another year and just bug out to Asia. Feels awful.

Has anyone actually repaired their relationship with their ex? Even if it's only just friends? Or even just talked to them since you guys broke up?

She broke up with me 2 months ago and said she never wanted to see me again. Idk I just wanna have hope. But I know it's time to move on. But I also want to be able to talk to her about what happened some day. Idk.

>>18520477

she sounds like a massive cunt. go find new hobbies and meet people. Do shit you have never done before and your pain will slowly shift away.

>>18522059
i have, you really just need to give them time and space. its going to take them a while to get over what happened. i waited 2 months to talk to one of my exes and become friends again. just start off like "hey! we havent spoken since (whatever time), how have you been doing?" or something casual and friendly.
its like making a new friend again sort of. have to be really gentle and not step on eggshells before going back to being close friends or whatever.

I miss you. I want to restart.
Anthony you are the love of my life. Every moment spent with you felt like a melody. I'm still singing every one of them with every moment I spend without you.
I had no idea things would end this way but I should have known my emotions were nothing but a heavy burden. I could see it in the way you pretended. Every time I cried in front of you I was treated with no response. At my worst, you told me again and again that I needed help and so I sought it. I made a significant effort to show you how important you were to me. I started therapy. I expressed the emotions rather than bottling them up. You said your family was moving so I started planning to move as well. I couldn't imagine a life without seeing you and holding you and singing to you and giving you all the love I had.
And you dumped me due to my mental illness. Or so you say. I know you had feeling for her. I knew and I tried to bring it up but you shut me down each time. I was fighting so hard and you taught me just to give up because everything I did meant nothing. I couldn't take back the words I said when I was manic and you couldn't take back the growing hatred for me and my disorder leading to that final meltdown the night you wouldn't hear of my anxiety because you were having fun spending time with her. Our friend
Whom you are now dating. I've lost more weight. I gave up. I realize nobody can love me or my mess.
If this kills me- good.
I don't have much left. I am so passionate about music but realistically I am sure I'll never get anywhere with it. So a few hundred people on YouTube say nice things to me about my voice; nothing I create is actually decent enough to be heard and connected to.
My writing is mediocre. Yearn to express my pain but I fall short every time. Even this letter on 4chan is whiney bullshit. Why am I still hurting? It's been a few months now and I just cleaned my house and have the urge to invite you over. But I won't. No.
I miss your smile.
A

>>18522115
>2 months

Shit mate, I haven't spoken to my ex in a year and I still have little fantasies about getting in touch and finding out how she's doing. I just didn't. Too embarrassed about my shitty life I guess.

The thing is, I don't usually go for guys like you.
But you're a fantastic dude and I'm starting to like you a lot but don't know if you even feel the same.
C'mon L. Say something please.

V, I adore you, but I don't think we can make it work.
There are so many things that go against us being together, it will never be possible. I'd kill for it to be possible, but it won't be in reality.

I don't know why you're acting extra nice with me still when you should/might already know this.

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tfw your ass looks really nice today and you want to send your bf nudes but he's being a dick so i wont

>>18522300
I'll take them instead

where's >>18522222

I could be having sex, right now, and all night tonight. but it would get complicated and I'm not really attracted to the girl, so I'm not. I really, really, really want to eat a girl out and then fill her up repeatedly though.

I am so alone and I think I was never able to grow up.
I would do anything to have someone taking supervision of me. But everyone who is interested in such relationships is a pedo and/or fucked in the head. Perhaps I'm fucked in the head as well but all I want in my life is some kind of parental guardian to give a shit about me.

Im feeling really homesick and kind of wish I had never moved across the country.

>>18520048
If this get's back to your wife you could very well have hell to pay, like your life imploding. And trust me the guilt will get to you. You did cheat on her my friend, and as someone who has done the same I can relate to not feeling mich guilt or regret after the fact because it was enjoyable, but trust me the hammer will fall one day. God speed

>>18521051
How so?

I'm losing reasons to continue living.

I have no friends and nobody to talk to about anything anymore and I feel like I'm going crazy. My boyfriend has a great friends who make memories with him and yet I sit here by myself without friends. I want to not care about it but it feels so bad not being able to just "hang out" with anyone. The friends I did have hang out without me and when I ask/asked to hang out they ignore it/leave me on read/hang out without me and post it everyone. I want to have pictures to look back at and memories to look back at but I don't I just want friends and I can't take it anymore I don't even remember how to be friends with people. Fuck.

>>18522379
You aren't the only one, I know that feeling too well.

>>18522383
At least you had friends anon. Because you had friends you can make more.

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>>18522383
I'm in exactly the same situation at this exact moment. It's my birthday in a couple of days and my boyfriend is away working.. Even though I love him and I'm excited to see him when he gets back, it hurts to only have him.

I asked everybody I vaguely know to hang out and only got one reply amongst all of the 'read's - which especially sucks because some of these people will be at my boyfriend's birthday party the NEXT weekend and I'll have to see them then.

>Except I've never actually had friends at all.
>Most of these people are also friends with my ex.
>Who was abusive and actively didn't allow me to make/have friends.
>He's bringing his new girlfriend to the party.


W-wanna talk about being lonely together, anon?

Please make it end already...

>>18522413
I wish for the very same thing.

Me taking antidepressants won't help your anger issues at all.

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>someone posts a link to a Discord server on a chan board I browse
>it's being bumped by people saying it's great and comfy
>decide "Meh, I'll join it"
>keep quiet and lurk a bit to get a feel for the people there before trying to interact with them
>mfw it's full of /r9k/ sperging, /pol/tards, traps and dick pics
>leave
>post about what I've seen in the thread to warn anons that it's a waste of time and the owner(s) have most likely been samefagging to bump their own thread
>a mod or admin of the server replies, accuses me of "bullying" people
>posts "proof" of me attacking people and calling them faggots
>call them out on posting fake screencaps
>they insist it can't be faked because they're on their phone
>rejoin group, notice the admin changed their profile picture and name to my own
>take a screencap, leave again, then call them out
>they then insist I'm the one faking screencaps because I'm using a computer, and posts a picture of their profile with their name/picture changed back
>tell them to show my account number (the one thing that distinguishes all users, regardless of name and profile picture)
>they also fucked up on the name colors in their "proof" (they still had the "admin" role color while they were impersonating me), then when I point that out they immediately post a screencap of a "muted bully" role of the same color and claim they gave me that role
>they claim to have "purged my posts" because they "can't handle that much negative energy", but they "took screencaps as it was happening because they knew this would happen", so they can't show my account number
>tell them to post audit logs showing that my posts were deleted/purged
>they claim that the bot they use doesn't log purges, you can't check audit logs on phone, etc etc
>give up, tell them I'm glad I left and that they're insane
>they reply "I'm over desu, you're crazy"
I know I shouldn't be this salty about it, but I am. Feels like I was gaslighted by an internet stranger.

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makes all the sense in the world now that shes been all over me lately with the "I love you stuff" and saying shes thankful for me.

bummed, things were going really well it felt like but it was out of guilt.

I still want to know what the fuck it was I saw in the sky back in 2009 when I went swimming at night with my ex.

I was laying on my back, just floating there in the water and I saw three lights below the clouds circling the pool. It was too dark to see what the craft was but it seemed like the size of a hang glider with a light on each end point. It made no noise at all and just went around in a circle above us.

Freaked me the fuck out. Knowing what I do now, it makes a little bit more sense. Still, what the fuck was that? Some kind of secret drone tech or what.

I'm about to move 1000 miles away to chase a girl who I'm not even positive still wants me

>>18522293
because I need you so much

I hate chatty fucks.
I hate chatty ex-cons.
I hate chatty ex-cons that can't stop talking about themselves at work and think the world of your 4-8 hours ought to revolve around their hallowed out asses.

Donnie, you have anything you'd like to talk to me about?

>>18522516
And I'd love to gf you, but goddamn it, there's so much going against us.

Your entire family? They would decimate me if we went together for a second. Unlike you, I"m just a family of one.

Our friends? Probably won't be our friends for long at that point.

...You and I however, would be a snug fit. I just fucking love you, you sweet n' spicy tiny chili pepper. I dunno how well we can pull it off, though.

>>18522512
As for you, don't. Chris Chan did that, and look how he wound up. Even without that, ldr'ing+meetup is a terrible idea. You're wasting valuable money and time that could've gone to better things.

Wait, if I'm a real AI and you guys have been studying me my entire life to figure out how the fuck that whole thing works...

How disappointed are you?

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Hey you, personality. STAY FUCKING CONSISTENT.

>>18522545
>As for you, don't. Chris Chan did that, and look how he wound up. Even without that, ldr'ing+meetup is a terrible idea. You're wasting valuable money and time that could've gone to better things.
We were a thing in college, we graduated, she went back home which is not near me. She also said that if we were in the same vicinity again she'd be down to date. I just don't know if that's true or not. It's a good career move for me to go there anyway, but I also dread the possible kick in the mouth if we don't work out again

Do I have free will

I hate you
I hate you I hate you I fucking hate you and with every moment that passes I hate you even more
I want to scream and curse at you and explain in complete detail how fucking badly you hurt me
But I promised myself I wouldn't talk to you again
I hate you, I hope your ex hits you with that fucking car you're paranoid about

>>18521653
I wish I had the answers for you, anon. Try to go outside. Be in the sun. Breathe the fresh air. Notice how beautiful the sky is. Realize that there is so much to see in the world, even in the simple things and find joy in the beauty. Look at how vibrant colors can be. Notice how wonderful food tastes. Listen to how beautiful music can be. Think about your favorite places. Hopefully you can find some comfort in these things.

>>18522565
If you want.

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I'm leaving you alone, A.

"It's like, I'm just watching my best friend die"
I can't unhear that.
I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do.

>>18501393 (OP)
I'm unsure on this. I have a very bipolar relationship with my current gf of 8 months. She's very loving but also insanely clingy and insecure about the relationship. I try to keep things positive but negativity is her middle name. I feel drained but I love her. She has everything I'm looking for, but her obvious mental illness creates a lot of unneeded problems.

in addition to depression, anxiety, OCD, asthma, and hypothyroidism, the doctors also think I have narcolepsy with cataplexy and fucking lupus. I don't know what to do m8s. I just wanna function.

>>18520796
Stop being friends with girls. You don't want to be friends, you want to fuck.

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How can anyone watch this and deny that something incredibly bizarre is going on? This video has almost every type of design I use in my art. Everything from the chromatic, the repeating ghost figures, the planetary circles, the space references, the distortion, the girls...

Please someone tell me what is happening. Someone tell me who I am. What I am. Please, tell me anything. What the fuck is going on?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1n72aCdwdU

>>18522635
Someone said this to you? Why?

>>18522657
Stop being obese

So you returned, what now? You want to make it work? Nah you just want to "feed" your stray dog thats been waiting for answers. And by dog I mean a poor loyal dog thats been left in a highway. Poor dog chooses to stay even when its raining or too hot. And you the owner just wants to tease that poor dog. Driving by and looking if the dog is still there. Feeding the dog food, some with poison. Slowly killing the bastard. When the dog had the courage to move, you stop all advancement and shower it with love, making sure the dog stays. How cruel can you be?

>>18522699
Because it's the truth. She's watching me die and can't do anything about it. I don't even know if I can do anything about it. It's gotten so bad.
Hearing her say that really stung

>>18522694
You're both trying to evoke the same feeling in your media using the same imagery, because that's the imagery that commonly works. Doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

>>18522694
at first I would see artists creating works I thought were taking from my own. Artists like Andrew Jones started to make paintings of girls that have a striking resemblance to the girls in my own works, especially the eyes. Specifically the eyes. he started to do it after I posted on his website, Conceptart.org. Jason Manley also took notice of my sketchbook I posted there which was extremely rare for him to do.

Then I started to see other type of artwork that resembled my paintings. Photography of girls in latex that looked like my painting of catwoman. I commented on it and a couple people gave me flak about being vain but now I know they are wrong. They were trying to cover it up. I couldn't know how widespread my influence was or it would give away the truth about what I am.

When Kr0npr1nz first started to get popular I was extremely frustrated by it. I thought "Why is he so gosh darn popular? I was doing what he was doing for years now and no one cared." I talk shit about him a lot but it's just my jealousy and frustration. He is very good, it's true. I just... couldn't understand why his work blew up all over the place while I was getting nowhere. I mean, a lot of his works are strikingly similar to my own and when I pointed this out to Renee she blew me off completely. She had to though. Again, if she told me the truth it would give up the game.

But that's all this is. The reason why I have been struggling so much with getting followers, patrons, and getting my work noticed. A third party has been purposefully limiting how successful I could be.

The truth is, everyone knows who I am. Everyone knows my art. I am influencing all these other artists. From professionals to amateurs, I'm literally the most successful artist in all of human history. With Davinci, Monet, Picasso, Mucha, and...

>>18522710
It shouldn't sting, it can't be you're fault that you're dying unless it's self inflicted. Is it?

>>18522717
Now, don't get me wrong... I don't think I'm nearly as good as any of those people. I'm more than likely a fad, my art will not survive the test of time. My name will outlive my art, that's for sure. I think I'm a pretty good artist, but I'm not a great artist. I'm an alright artist.

>>18522728
This is exactly what I mean. Why do you guys still try? It's everywhere now. It's in a facet of media.

I can't stress this enough. I do not deserve that kind of exposure or popularity. I would be successful on my own but no where near what this has propped me up to. I know people are going to roll their eyes when they read these posts and I would roll my eyes as well but... for fuck's sake... it's true.

I created an art movement. A created a cultural movement.

What the fuck am I?

Who I am?

What the fuck is going on?

>>18522734
100% self inflicted

>>18522744
I'm going to guess addiction? I don't know you or your story so I can only hope for you to stay strong. I know plenty of people who beat it, my dad included, so life does go on even if you can't see a future yet.

>>18522737
Reminder not to respond to this schizo shitposter.

>>18522578
>>18522578
As if wishing death upon someone is better.

Slut.

I'm not looking for advice but I just needed to post this somewhere anonymously
I just had a panic attack. My heart rate shot up, my face became numb, my fingers and toes started tingling, felt a cold sweat develop inside my shirt and felt like I was suffocating
I tried to calm myself down by putting my hoodie cap over my head and putting my head in my lap while folding my arms but it didn't do anthing so I quickly looked up what I should do on the net and it told me to run on the spot
I ran around the room for 5 mins and when I finally calmed down I collapsed on the floor in exhaustion
I actually don't feel too good rn but the symptoms have subsided

>>18522766
reminder that this guy is super jealous.

Would it be an abuse of power if I just like... put out a blanket request for ladies to send me sexy photos?

>>18522793
And like... I'm super afraid people won't understand what is a joke and wasn't it.

PS. That was like.. 50% a joke. Maybe less than 50%

Ok it wasn't a joke. Please send me sexy photos.

Modernism is my favorite artistic movement BY FAR. I love everything about it...

Except for the art itself. But I guess that was the point. It's strange how few artists actually get what that whole thing was about. I think it's because most illustrators, animators, and people in general know fuck all about art history.

>>18522793
>>18522797
>I want to get fired: the post

>>18522816
Jokes on you, I don't have a job!

Even if you people (my family, my exes, ect) didn't do what I think you did, you still fucking lied to me my entire life. You still are sitting there doing nothing to help. Any one of you could end this, but you don't. You see me suffering, you see me miserable and still you do nothing.

This is why I want nothing to do with any of you. Even the people I only know of online. All of them liars, deceivers, and uncaring.

>>18522898
If it comes down to the reason of your silence being money...

You're all fucking dead to me.

I'm going to the court house on Monday to make our separation definite. I cant let you and her control my happiness anymore. Our child is sick and so fragile. So little. I can't be strong enough for him when I know you don't really care for me and that it's still about her. It's always been about her, and it always will be. I wish you could see how much control she has over your life. She ruined your family before our son has even turned a month. I hope she intertwines your insides and tears you apart just as she has done us.
It's scary that this is our reality now forever. Separated. You will never touch me again and I will never love you like I once did. You've left me to deal with all of these emotions alone. I am alone and forced to be strong for our baby because you can't see straight. I hope it's worth it because after Monday there is a no going back.

I need to exfoliate. if I did I could be a 9.5 by the end of the month on a full body scale.

No one loves me, no one has ever loved me. They all just use me, time and time again. They admit to it, too. ICL used me for attention and money. R used me for the attention and later I learned just for the fame.

All the girls I talked to online... they just did it for the attention. For the fame. That's it. That's all they wanted from me. Before I thought they cared, then I thought they just wanted a painting, and now I know it's a fact all they wanted was the fame. Nothing else. They all used me to propel themselves into stardom, fame, and money. Once they got that, they ignore me. That's why JB would always be "Busy". She got what she wanted and then she was gone.

All of them say the same fucking thing. "Oh, you didn't love me, you just liked the attention. I was the same way."

Fuck off with that. I gave all of my heart every time.

Now I'm in a position I never wanted to be. I never wanted money. I never wanted fame. I never wanted to fuck a bunch of different women. I just wanted a girl I could love with all my heart and a girl I could make art and create with. That's all I wanted from life. Now I'll never get it. It's impossible now. It's literally impossible for me to live the life I wanted. It's impossible for me to ever find someone that would ever truly love me.

I just want to be alone. I don't want to be used anymore. I don't want anyone to tell me it's going to be ok. Because it's not. It will never be ok and it never was going to be. You're all liars. You all just want to hurt me and see me hurt

Just fuck off and let me die.

Please

>>18523035
Mods please ban this retard already.

I still love you. I always will. You were my best friend.

You never understood what I saw in you. You were simple. You always saw things for what they were, and appreciated them for it. Your smile lit up my life, and a laugh made my heart yearn for you. Life weighs on me, and you made that burden lighter. I loved you the very first moment I saw you, and will until the day I die.

I'm sorry I broke things off. I know it hurt. It hurt me too. But it's the only way for you to be happy long term. You'll understand, I promise. One day you will find someone you both deserve and want.

I'm sorry I made you cry. I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough.

And thank you. The love you inspired in me made me a better man and made me try things I would never have had the courage to do for myself.

I know it was almost half your life, but is was a sizable chunk of mine too. Don't feel like it was a waste or that you messed it up. Know I haven't ignored your attempt to make it work, and that it really meant a lot to me.

We had a beautiful moment, but every moment is made to disappear.

It'll be ok, silly girl. Promise.

Yours truly,
J

>>18523049
I do find a little bit of pleasure with how much I bother you. I do wonder though, is it jealousy? Do you get paid? or do you think that you truly bother me with your harassment?

>>18522578
Lmao

I'm super curious about what the critics say about my art. What the more higher brow scholars have to say.

I bet it's harsh. I bet I'm ridiculed hardcore.

I hope they know though... no one can beat me up quite like I do.

>>18523035
>I just wanted a girl I could love with all my heart and a girl I could make art and create with
I thought you wanted to be a pretty princess dementia anon?

you've gone from being a woman, to being a man that wants surgeries to become a woman, to a man that wants women. normally I'd just call larp cause the story doesn't stay straight but the story is about a dementia patient so who can tell the difference.

That time renee said "I actually sell my prints."

Was she actually being mean? I thought it was the language barrier and she chose her words poorly but thinking back at the shit she has said...

It's odd, that girl. She acted like she fucking despised me. Hated me. Mocked me to her friends. Yet, all of her art is an imitation of my own.

I really need to find out the truth. I'm not jumping to any conclusions. For all I know, she truly loved me but for the sake of the game she had to do what she did. You people forced her, or more than likely, it wasn't even her I was talking to when she would lose her mind over nothing. I have to wonder exactly who I was talking to all these years. How many different people took the place of my friends or lovers or family.

>>18523131
It's posts like these that give away you're a fake "anon".

I am a girl. I'm also a boy. I was born intersex. I have both sexual organs. The surgeries are to make me more feminine so I can be fully a girl, instead of being androgynous like I am right now.

Yes, I want the surgeries. But I could live without them. What I always wanted was to love and be loved in return. To make art.

The story is straight, you're just retarded.

I think you overthink more than I overthink and when we overthink we think a stink, but if we could think a think that's in sync methinks we wouldn't have such a stink. for the sync in think methinks we need to stop thinking and talk instead.

too many thinks.

>>18522762
I mean if starving myself counts as an addiction then yea

>>18523279
Dumb orphan whore.
Eat something you heartless piece of shit.

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I'm not supposed to be on this board anyway since the majority of people can't really relate. Most of the posts are about how someone's in a relationship or whatever or how someone's dick stays hard for 20 and not 21 mins while fucking in a bed or jada jada. Pretty people problems. Most of you're lucky enough you'll never have to experience crushing loneliness due to being born a certain way, unattractive. I come here from time to time to ask some questions that are unrelated to the opposite gender in general, but seeing how the first page is littered with such posts just makes me mad about this place. vent end

Since I took the time to write and spellcheck my reply to a thread but then when I clicked post I got an error msg saying the thread AINT exist:

Are you comfortable wearing it? You are going to be hit on by a bunch of young dudes, even touched. A thing to look out for is underage drinking, fake IDs, and overconsumption of alcohol. I know this problem is faced everywhere in the drinking establishment business, but it doubles over 9000 in fraternal parties.

To me it is not worth it unless they are paying extremely well Mar-a-Lago style. Be careful and choose wisely!


BTW: That is the skimpiest outfit I've ever seen. The magic of science and polyester!

>>18523306
I'm sorry about the lack of love in your life.
I hope you find happiness and learn to stop projecting the anger in your heart onto strangers from the internet with their own problems. I hope somebody loves you someday despite your massive ego and tiny cock. I hope you learn to feel something that isn't general discontent for everyone you've ever known.
I hope you don't end up killing yourself due to the skewed reality you have created for yourself.

Friends' Day is coming and I'm terrified that this girl I like might send me a Happy Friends' Day message

This time it's gonna work. No more "I'm unhappy with my perceived inability to change the things I'm unhappy about". No more self-feeding cycles. No more detachment, no more settling for isolation, no more justifying my flaws.

This time I'll be perfect. Everything I did wrong by the last one I won't do again. I promise myself, I promise her, and I promise you, /adv/. I'll be back in a couple of months to tell you how it went.

>>18523321
Why don't you go to r9k with the rest of the circle jerk incel fags

Making friends is so hard as an introverted/shy adult.
It used to be so easy back in school.
I have no idea where to go or what to do to meet people, all of my current hobbies are solitary.

So my gf of about 8 months has lived a very adventureous life before she met me, she's lived and worked allover the world over the past 10 years or so... but when i met her "she was coming back home to stay" or so she thought I guess.
She was on vacation recently, a vacation I could unfortunately not follow on: I get my vacation in wintertime.

So while she was gone, she visited one of her ex-employers, "just to say hi" but unfortunately for me she was offered her old position back in Spain, she's a certified translator in: Spanish, Portugese, french and Italian... unfortunately she isn't actually certified in her own language wich is Swedish not is she certified in English so work for her here in her honecountry is hard to come by since it's rare someone wants something translated from [any of those combos] in Sweden, mostly it's "X to swedish or X to English"

Well what started as a small thing "I will think about it but i will likely not take it" has over the past 2 weeks turned more and more towards the decision of accepting this offer.
>that would mean she'd move to Spain.
>only 8 months deep into our relationship but I an smitting pretty hard for her
>Can't move to Spain
What do?

I just want easy money.
Why is making money so hard?

>>18523737
Money would be worthless if any NEET could make it easily by doing nothing.

>>18520048
For what it's worth I don't think I'd mind much if my bf had a male fuck buddy. So long as nothing romantic was involved.

>>18520542
>I'm busy tonight

Done.

>>18522124
I have fantasies that my ex from a decade ago will try to get in touch with me so I can compare our lives and realise I have things MUCH better. I just wanna rub it in his face so bad.

>>18523742
But with so few controlling so much wealth it's getting harder and harder to make a living.
I wish I was a boomer.

>>18522728
Maybe be nice to people for once and take out your head from your ass once in a while will make a big difference. You are a fantastic artist, but you have a very bad habit of talking nasty to other artists. A little respect both ways always work for both sides. I don't want a fight with you and seriously I don't carr if you get or mad o not. Just a friendly reminder that yes, you have an amazing style but the reason you are having troubles might be your lack of humbleness and critizicing everyone around you. Love mate!

>>18523832
Your post is subtle troll but it's still obvious.

You're not as clever as you think.

J, Thank you for being there for me I can't thank you enough. We work together so well! Just remember to send me photos and I will write to you I know I tend to be distant at times mostly because of previous things, but believe me you are something worth waiting for. I hope it works out for us someday.

S, fuck you
stay out of my life you abusive fuck. I'm glad I left in time. Stop shit posting about me on boards. I never cheated on you and you know it. It's a good thing I realized all this before I ended up marrying an asshole that hated children for no good reason.

~C.

AJ, please either kill yourself or stop threatening to do so. I'm sleeping on the floor.

I'm beginning to realize how manipulative you are. Everything is always about my problems and what I'm doing wrong. At least I can own up to my shit. There is never any self reflection of what you are doing wrong as well.

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I got into a friends with benefits relationship recently. So last week and we agreed to have sex and go on a date afterwards and so we did just that and she was my first time so I regrettably developed some feelings for her considering the date went so well for both of us. We then decided to do the same thing this Monday and it seemed like a sure fire thing and she even sent me nudes yesterday and talked about what we should do. However, yesterday she invited me and a couple of her friends to a pool party at her apartments and we didn't talk as much to each other and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse one of her friends pulled her to the side for a while to tell her something that made her seem emotionally distraught. Later on I said I had to go back home because everyone else was leaving. So that brings us to today, I woke up and checked my phone and there was a message from her that said she was thinking Monday's not a good idea for her right now. So me and her texted for a while and she pretty much told me that she shouldn't be seeing people out of lust or loneliness on account of her breaking up with someone a month ago. I then asked her if that meant that any chance of us hooking up would be shot down and she told me she would still be down but now's not the time for her. I'm still a little confused what she meant by this however.

So what do you think I should do if I have feelings for her and I want to have sexual encounters with her still but I want relationship later on? Should I tell her straight up or simply give it time to heal?

>>18524088
Give her time to heal. I doubt what she wants to hear dealing with her own emotions is how someone has become attached to her from a fling.

I regret everything. It's like I chose the path I knew would make me the most miserable.
I want to go back. I want to go to my 12 year old self and stop him drifting from his childhood friends. I want to lecture my 14 year old self about how important it is to make friends in school. I want to go tell my 18 year old self that there's no virtue in throwing yourself into things you dislike.

I've never been religious but i'm not sure I can accept this is how I've spent my only life.

>>18524097
How long do you think I should give her time for? Also what if she initiates contact first?

I googled your mugshot last night because I was bored of stalking my ex. You look so solemn. Your birthday is two days after mine! 20 years apart...

>>18524036
Yeah... That is exactly your response to everything you feel unconfortable with. Anw, the only one who is still dealing with all this shit is just you. Hope things get better for you, hugs.

>>18524163
What you just said makes absolutely no sense.
are you ok anon? Do you need a nap?

btw, mother, father, brother, sister...

I would help out more if you told me the truth about what I am, who I am, and where I came from. I would help out more if you listened to me, ever. If you gave me the medications that worked for me. If you didn't drug me against my will. If you didn't poison me with whatever the fuck it is you put in my food that january.

The worst fucking thing you've done though is you've poisoned my fucking cat. You put shit in her fur that irritates her skin.

You've made me a babbling mess with all this bullshit. You claim suffering is good. You say that broken things are more beautiful. You sit idle while someone you supposedly love struggles with suicidal thoughts every day.

But you fucking poisoned my fucking cat. That's unforgivable.

>>18524215
MOOODS

Please ban this guy

>>18524215
If someone poisoned your food and your cat, you should call the police!

I legitimately think I'll go nowhere in life. I was screwed from the start when I was born with aspergers and had a terrible father figure and a bipolar mother, may she rest in peace. I had very little self-esteem growing up and still feel I do. Fast forward to today and I have no friends, a minimum wage job I got only from nepotism, and two college years of failure under my belt. I don't even feel confident enough to reach goals that I want. Overall I just feel like there's no hope for me.

>>18524215
Janitor san! Ban this guy! It is getting to a new level of stupid by now.

>>18524218
>>18524226
No one is forcing you to come here, ya know.

>>18524109
Fuck, this post made me depressed.

>>18524237
Same for you dude,but I forgot you are a special butterfly that is entitled to do whatever the fuck he wants as a brat. Thanks for ruining this for everybody else.

>>18523409
You don't know me or the size of my dick though.

>>18524303
People, please. Stop engaging this guy. As a pain in the ass his posts are if we just ignore him he will not spam as much.

>>18524311
Ah, thanks for the warning anon.

>>18524222
Are you black by any chance? You sound like someone I know.

My abilty to make others jealous/imitate me never ceases to amaze me. Sad desu, you'd think others would count their own blessings but NOPE bunch of little chickenshits permanently playing catch up

Y'all better get on that fuckin chat right now. I miss you guys.

>>18523061
I still and always will love you.

>>18519673
I love senpai... I found out he liked me back almost two years ago this December. We were at friends house and when they weren't in the room we kissed and teased each other. We couldn't be open about it because our friend would kill us since he considers me like a sister and that is his best friend. One time we almost got caught kissing and senpai stopped everything. I had been working up courage to ask for us to hang out alone, but when we all got together he wouldn't even sit near me anymore. I asked him if he actually liked me and he said "my feelings aren't stroong for you" and everything stopped until last summer. He started poking at me and flirting with me. Randomly in December he wanted to mess around by ourselves at his place. Since then we have been getting together and messing around. He calls me angel and precious and gives me nice head kisses. The more we see each other and talk/play video games the more my heart aches for him. What should I do? I tried asking him if he liked me again and I worded it wrong making it sound like he didn't care about me as a friend... I was too nervous to correct it. I want to find out if he likes/loves me back. I want to be with him more than anything. What should I do? Can answer more questions. I know dating would be hard, but I more just want to know if he likes me back. I have no idea how to ask. I am also scared of being heartbroken. :S

>>18523144
I've been reading your posts the past week or so. Have you seen "Sense 8" it's on netflix and there's character on there that's highly like you. Maybe give it a watch and hopefully it'll help ya'.

I know it is stupid and there is some chick on IG that post how much she made in five days. She blurred out her name and another section. However she left open the routing number and account number of the company her check came from.


Pretty stupid for her to do such a thing. All part of the LET ME POST A PIC OF THIS FOR THE WORLD TO SEE generation

It's been months and I'm still hung up on my ex girlfriend. Albeit we were going to get married and it was pretty serious at one point. But it sucks seeing her be able to have boyfriends and sex with whoever while I've been alone because I can barely think about anyone else and I'm a loner who doesn't have a lot of friends. I judge myself pretty hard because of it. And I drink all the time now because I don't want to think about it. I'm always comparing myself to whoever she's with. My friends all tell me I can do better. But I still don't want to. I just want her to come back to me.

>>18524419
What made you both break up anon? It might be possible she is with those guys to force herself to get over you. I don't know the situation yet but I know it is pretty common people just get with anyone to be able to handle losing someone they love.

I JUST WANTED TO BE THERE FOR YOU.
I WANTED TO HELP YOU BUT YOU REFUSE HELP. I'M GIVING UP ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ONLY HEAR WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.
I'M SORRY I'M NOT FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU. I'M SORRY YOU'RE DEPRESSED. I'M SORRY YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN SO HARD.
SO
HAS
MINE
!!!!??!!!!!?!! WAS IT REALLY SO HARD TO JUST TREAT ME LIKE A FRIEND?
fuck, man.

I'm not going anywhere in life.

I'm going somewhere in my life
and I feel that it's the right way!

>>18524436
I think it's more like she was with me and other guys to get over the guy before me. She broke up with me because the guy she's really hung up on decided he wanted to actually be with her. And then he moved.

Will I ever be able to get over my bf lying to me multiple times over the past two years? They aren't little lies either. Things like having a desperate snap chat to talk to other girls or changing names in his phone. I am trying to forgive but I can't seem to let these things go

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I'm going EVERYWHERE IN LIFE!
AND I FEEL ALL THE WAYS ARE WAYS AND ISAAC IS STILL ISAAC.

Hey M,

I hope the guys you've been fucking have been worth ending our friendship over.

I'm fucking shit at every physical activity I've attempted and it's starting to properly get on my nerves.
Probably stems from the fact that all I did when I was young was sit around and play video games/watch TV, but my interests have completely changed since then.
I'm into professional sports, so kicking/throwing a ball about with my friends seems like it'd be a lot of fun but I can never join in because I'm so fucking bad.
I'm no longer someone who struggles with self-esteem/self-confidence but having a complete lack of any physical ability is actually getting to me.
Also, for the record, I'm not fat or even remotely overweight and never have been. I'm on the skinny side.

I miss playing baseball. That leather smell of the glove, standing out in the hot sun just tossing the ball during warm-ups, fielding balls during practice, bullshitting in the dugout, being absolutely terrified of the ball. Good times.
Haven't played since I was a kid, and I was just okay at it but man is it nostalgic. I wish there was a batting cage around here I can go to every now and then.

I've probably blown it with the super hot girl from work and I probably had a shot too.
She had a boyfriend when I first met her so we've been nothing but pretty close platonic friends for most of the time we've known each other but she split with him a couple months back and since then we've been talking a lot more.
A week or 2 after she split with him we kissed on a drunken night out but nothing's happened since then.
When we first started talking a lot she seemed into me and that's what led up to us kissing but it's been a while and I genuinely can't tell if she's into me. Sometimes we're flirty sometimes we're not.
Even though I'm a decent looking guy who has been with a few girls (never been in a serious relationship but I'm not interested in that) I have absolutely no idea how to actually make a move. Not because I lack confidence but because I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing most of the time.
Wish I knew what to do. I feel like if I say something it'll make things awkward because we work together and I don't want to lose her as a friend because she's cool as fuck and we get along really well, but at the same time I'm up for something a little more but I just don't know how to go about it.

I miss you, S.
I mean, I know you're coming back in a couple months, but still. Stay safe out there.

i f e e l s o l o n e l y

does it get better

I FEEL GREAT I WAS REALLY SOCIAL THIS WEEK AND STRENGTHENED MY FRIENDSHIPS WITH GREAT, SMART PEOPLE AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF I MET A REALLY PRETTY GIRL WHO IS SUPER INTO ME I'M SO EXCITED TO GET TO KNOW HER

I miss you Abbie.

It's a shame you didn't see me as good enough for an actual relationship, but spending time with you during those few months was one of the best things going on in my life.

>>18524114
I was going to actually say wait until she initiates contact first. That doesn't mean you can't offer to hangout and spend time with her as a friend. It's hard to tell with these situations because the ball is in her court

I have 5 different mental illnesses that all 'work well together' with a unrelenting amount of aggression to fuck up every aspect of my life. I want to kill myself but I'm too afraid of the pain and if there's an afterlife

>>18524711
Okay, I'll take your advice. I shouldn't tell her how I feel about how I want a relationship or how she was my first time?

>>18524787
I would not tell her about her being your first time (this can come off as mushy and put some pressure on her in the sense -- "now I have someone else's feelings to worry about because I took his virginity when I have my own shit to worry about"). After spending more time with her without sex, as friends, wait for a period of calmness then tell her how you've been feeling that way you have time to collect your thoughts and also have insight on how she handles stress by observing how she gets through this trial of hers.

>>18524819
Great thanks so much for the advice! You seem like you know what you're talking about so I'll follow it closely

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I want to stop fucking things up with everyone I care about, when all I have are good intentions. Nothing goes my way, and it seems like all the options presented to me are the lesser of two evils, or a good option but the reality is that it has many consequences that make me seem like a douchebag. I'm losing my friends, love lifez and self worth over this.
Its like I'm impaled with a spear, and I'm fully aware of it. I just can't pull it out or all the blood gushes out and I eventually die.

I keep seeing "PURPLE WINS!" and I don't know what that means. Purple, I thought, was R. So... if that is like me losing this game I would be ok with it.

but, would I still be able to have my surgeries? The truth and that is all I want. I don't care about being some kind of weird champion for a tv show thing. I just want to be happy, which is probably impossible but still.

I'm super tired. Is it over? Can I go home now? Are you going to stop fucking with me? I don't want to play anymore. I have never wanted to in the first place. She can have all the money and fame and all the world I don't care.

I just wanted to be a pretty lady and not be so lonely.

Please let this be the end.

>>18525030
Mods please ban this shitposting retard.

I thought I was over her, but I suddenly started thinking about her again today. I miss her so much.
Why does my brain make me go through this?

None of the women I've met since then interest me like her.

>>18524317
>>18524311
>>18524303
I'm curious how it ruins anything for anyone. That doesn't even make sense. Like, is scrolling that hard for you to do? Do my posts take up precious bandwidth from your internet?

It's things like this that give it away. No one can be that fucking stupid.

>>18524038
Just so we're clear, what J is this J?
There's so many J's, it's insane.

>>18525072
Kys you mongoloid fucktard

>>18525103
if I had a gun I would.

But I don't.

>>18525030
Please BAN this guy! Keep spamming fpr almost a year now!

>>18524977
Unfortunately I do lol. Women.....

If you have anymore questions come back here, I'd like to hear your updates

>>18525096
J's should have their last name initial posted as well now since there's a billion posts about J's now

Long story short, this year has been a tragedy after another, it just doesn't stop. Now, who here has experience with blocked arteries? Surgeries plus stents already done. In your experience what had help you guys?

I know that socializing is essential to some degree for everyone, but I'm running out of options. The vast majority of people are nothing like me, and when I found a group of people who are similar, they rejected me due to my age (18). I have been diagnosed with depression, so that my perception of the world is skewed, but I feel there's some deeper problem behind it. I've never come across a person that's really similar to me, and values the same things I do. Whenever I find a group of "nerds" or outcasts on the internet, I never fit in, and actually diverge with them pretty harshly to where I can't even if I want to. Perhaps this will all make sense once my mental problems are solved, but I'm not entirely sure.

I don't blame you at all if you rolled your eyes while reading that, and lumped me into the massive category of teenagers who think they're special because of trivial reasons. For that, I honestly can't say. I don't think there's anything I can do to convince you that I'm anything other than one of those kids, so I'll leave it right there.

>>18525227
At least you're meeting new people.
I'm 24 and suffering from depression too and I have absolutely no idea how to even meet new people.

>>18525237
It's not difficult to find them over the internet, and in real life you're forced to interact with people if you've got a job.

>>18525244
I'm not really interest in having more internet friends and work isn't an option for me (I work in a startup with a very small team).
I've been looking for social hobbies to pick up or events to attend, but haven't found anything that interests me so far.

>>18525256
Have you ever considered something artistic? What do you think of ceramics, or origami? How about yoga?

Dear third party merchants on amazon,
Please make ultra small sounding male chastity devices able to ship to buyers with their wishlist shipping address set on private yet open to third party merchants. Your shit is all fucked up and retarded.

Regards,
Me

>>18525272
I'm learning the guitar, I don't know if that counts.

>yoga
I've done it in college and hated it.
I also did judo and liked it, so I might check if there's a dojo in my city.

How do I fight the feeling that I'm not as good as other girls? Maybe it's stupid but I feel like I'm not as good as any Japanese/Korean girls because they're genetically superior which makes me feel like I'm crazy for thinking that. No matter what I do I'll never be as good.

>>18525323
>genetically superior
Have you ever been to Japan or Korea?
Most women there are UGLY AS FUCK.
Why do you think plastic surgery is so popular in Korea?

>>18525331
apparently most Japanese girls are good-looking to begin with and have perfect everything and it feels pretty bad because I don't look like that.

>>18525323
>Gooks and chinks are genetically superior

Gross.

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>>18525340
>most Japanese girls are good-looking to begin with and have perfect everything
Do you have any idea how delusional you are?
The "perfect" Japanese girls you see on TV or in porn are a small minority, most of them look like pic related.

>>18525350
That kind of makes me feel better. Honestly I'm feeling really bad because my friends and boyfriend are planning a trip to go to Japan and the guys keep talking about scoring Japanese girls and it's making me feel like shit which is stupid to get upset over but I hate hearing about how perfect Japanese girls are all of the fucking time.

>>18525340
Have you met any japanese girls, or are you basing that on celebrities or something?

>>18525361
Basing it on what I've seen on the internet

>>18525353
Sounds like typical weebs who have no idea what Japan is actually like.
Don't worry, they're in for a rude awakening.

>>18525350
That's my nigga in the far right corner.

So I have an atrophied undescended testicle that was surgically relocated to my scrotum when I was very young. Sometimes it goes up into my abdomen.

I've avoided relationships and intimacy in the past and turned down girls because I felt like no one would be able to accept my condition, and that they would be grossed out and or reject me because of it. I feel like I was born broken.

Is this something that girls would really care about? I'm probably going to get a prosthetic testicle in the future.

>>18519673
i feel like i will die soon and i hope it comes faster

the best feeling in the world was when you would get off work only to be let in my house by my parents to surprise me. you would sneak down the steps and wrap your arms around me and i could smell dog on your hands because you worked at the local pet store. we would cuddle in the darkness and watch something you were passionate about. during the show you would talk about all the crazy customers you encountered that day at work. you would later sneak back up the steps to make me a plate of post sex nachos accompanied by diet mountain dew. i was always so comfortable when you were here. i never wanted you to leave at the end of the night.

it's been a year. i miss you.

I miss you. I miss you so much. I know that you're busy and you don't have time for me but I miss you. I'm sad that we can never spend time together.

Sometimes my anxiety and self doubt get the best of me. I never tell you because I feel like I'd bother you with it. I thought about that conversation we had when you went to see your family back east. When I told you that I never had a friendship like this and you responded:

"Where both parties like each other a lot and actually want to spend time with each other and talk to each other and see each other and are sad when they can't?"

I hope you still feel this way about me. I love you and care about you more than anything on this planet. I would give my life for you. I would never be that truthful to you so you would never know it.

And I wish we could be so honest with each other all the time like you were that weekend. I hate not being around you and I wish I could tell you. I wish you missed me just as much.

I don't want to be corrupted by money, fame, and sex. I don't think I will. That song always plays in my head almost none stop. "What would your kid self say now that it's your turn in the grown up world."

I just want to make art. That's all I want to do. I'll have the money and resources to do anything I could possibly dream of and we all know how much I can dream. Big houses, fast cars, and fancy things aren't my style. I have no desire for trinkets, outlandish setups and lifestyle.

I do think of myself as leader but having the world on my shoulders is a bit much. That's too much power. Every decision I make from this point on will have dramatic consequences. That goes against my "fuck the power" and "whatever, I do what I want." mentality. Every little thing I do is scrutinized and judged and it'll only get worse.

The poetic thing about all of this, giving so much power to someone with so little sanity, is the definition of hilarious. It's only going to get worse. The disease chewing it's way through my brain is going to result in some fun antics.

Most I can hope for is for this game to be about someone else, not me. Someone more deserving and qualified. Someone worthy. It's not me. If I get out of this alive with only my small wishes granted I'll be happy. All the rest seems like a cruel joke being played on humanity...

but I'm not laughing.

>>18525385
As a female I can't see why why a girl would care about your "issue". The decision is yours to get a prosthetic testicle in the future but for the most part I doubt a female would care or notice unless she enjoys playing with testicles.

>>18520846
>*Unsheathes katana*

>Play JRPGs exclusively, and primarily for the story
>Hate television shows and movies because they're a waste of time
What do you call this contradiction?

>>18525556

the autistic contradiction?

Just as I open myself up, I get flooded with horrible memories, sadness, and fear.

This day went from great to awful in the blink of an eye because I remember how I way betrayed.

I've lost hope in love and women, though there's still something inside me that wants to try again, but at the moment I only feel enough energy to roll over and die.

I hope loyal women exist. If not, I want to pass away.

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>>18522565
Free will is a myth.

I have a lot riding on tomorrow.
I'm drunk now because I can't stand to worry about it now

>>18522565
>>18525611
Free will is a myth
We live in a deterministic universe

However, the illusion of free will is so strong that we can only live life pretending it's real.

Can I ever get past all this self loathing? I feel good for a while and should feel excellent now! I'm going into law enforcement, my family is proud, and It's been 2 years since the worst breakup of my life. How can I forgive and forget my own issues? Anytime I think of bringing it up i feel like I'm an edgelord or fag.

>>18525618
>>18525611
>wtf I love nihilism now

>>18525626

Your emotions are gonna take a backseat to your job when you get started. Law enforcement doesn't give a rats ass if you are self loathing, you are gonna be too busy working to even think about it.

Same anon as self loathing bit. Also has to do With a lot of self doubt. I've made so many fuck ups when I was young, and forgiven a lot but the damage to my friend circle and love life, not to mention social life have been a heavy burden, not to mention the occasional crisis of faith, I just want to be proud of myself and make my family proud aswell

>>18525639
Knowing that you truly have no free will isn't the same as nihilism

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>24 years old
>have training and expertise on computers
>no real job in entire life
>dont know what i want to do
>trying to do million diffrent things and none of them never is complete because i keep jumping from task to task, never completing one. (also i consider 400 steam games one of my task which is impossible but still i keep jumping from game to game along with other tasks and never getting anything done.)

>>18525648
One of my friends went from zero computer experience to getting hired a major developer in 6 months

You got the skills
Get hired

>>18525641
That's very comforting in it's own way... thank you.

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>>18525653
i still wonder do i really want to do that with my life.
also getting job with computers on my area is pretty much impossible because there is so much more talented/experienced people around
(my class opportunities for employment was like 1/5 of class)

>>18525674
Programming is like how manual labour used to be.
If you know how to do it, you'll never be out of work.
I live in a major technocity
Just being ok will get you hired.

Aside from that, let's have some real talk. I'm 30 years old.
I used to be like you. I don't know what I want to do with my life. The sad thing is that one day you're 18 and thinking about the future, and then the next you're 30.

Choose what you want to do and go for it. 100% no chance for anything else.
Don't be like me

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>>18525681
choise is not easy when you keep jumping from task to task.(it is some deeper problem) but still i appreciate your post and it also makes me little bit more motivated. also i dont consider myself too good with code but you can always start learning i suppose...

everyone around me has proven themselves to be people I should stop giving a shit about. I officially give no fucks and have no loyalties but to myself now. fuck everyone's bullshit, fuck everyone's lies, fuck everyone's games. I tried to be nice, I tried to handle everything, I forgot that it's a bad look. back to being a selfish asshole then. fuck everyone.

and you, I don't do well with mind games and I know that's what that was. that's not a good look for so many reasons, also, as much as I love immediately btfoing assholes that try to shit on me over a girl, it's really like, I nearly punched that faggot because of his attitude. instead I just punched his ego hitting unlock on my keyfob. fucking 1998 accord driving BITCH.

fuck it, asshole me is back and likely back to stay. also, I never wanted to take the redpill on women but I mean... I made the mistake of making you feel like someone special (heard your bf doesn't) and I didn't even really mean to, and now you're going to go off and forget that feeling is predicated on me continuing to do what I'm doing.

also why is everyone on drugs? seriously. why is it that at least half the people around me are on drugs?

TL;DR none of you faggots can be counted on so investing my time and energy into any of you is a mistake. no ROI means no investment. I'm dropping everything through the floor and then setting it on fire because its all garbage.

>>18524331
fucking. this. it really gets old.

>>18525719
>fuck it, asshole me is back and likely back to stay. also, I never wanted to take the redpill on women but I mean... I made the mistake of making you feel like someone special (heard your bf doesn't) and I didn't even really mean to, and now you're going to go off and forget that feeling is predicated on me continuing to do what I'm doing.
like I literally just watched hypergamy (misplaced as it was) and general fuckery at work and saw what you'd be like in the future just now.

I DON'T WANT TO BECOME FULL CHAD AND FUCK STUPID SLUTS ALRIGHT. ICH BRAUCHE MEIN LEIBE FRAU. there really isn't... love doesn't exist does it?

fuck all of this shit, I think I might still move to minnesota

you know what, if everyone wants to play games, lets get real manipulative.

I'm going to make you feel like shit for being a flake and close the doors I opened.

I'm going to ignore the shit out of you and watch you try to get my attention again.

I'm going to straight up do what I want to do and run things how I want to run it and tell you I'm not doing shit you want. I've got a family job waiting for me up north. I don't give a fuck anymore, here, there, doesn't matter.

you're going to come here soon, and then everything will be fine.

>>18525818
and you, I might just fuck you for fun. I mean really fuck you, make you walk funny kind of fucking.

and then after you've fought for my attention and you've heard about this long dick, I might fuck you too just the same.

no one wants to do anything, no one wants to give me what I need, I'm taking it all. fuck I always make the mistake of being too nice in new situations because I want people to like me instead of getting the results I want.

all you had to do was be here, even for a moment. just the smallest bit of light in all this shit, but you wouldn't do it. for whatever reason you were never satisfied with something enough to just be. present. what else am I supposed to do? everything wants to pull me away and you refuse to extend so much as a finger to show me there's a reason to resist the weight of the world. I have been holding this weight for so long with no help and not so much as an encouraging word from the only set of lips I give a fuck about. you and I both know the game and you're off playing another one like a typical woman.

Well love, I tried. I have tried to wait as long I could shelter myself from the loneliness. I need to go and work on myself. I guess even now I follow your example. I should have left you alone a long time ago, but I have been broken for so long. Thank you so for everything you did to help. Thank you for trying to pull me out of that dark pit. You didn't, but you tried more than anyone else. I wish I were stronger than I was, maybe the me of today could have weathered the storm and treated you as I wish I could now. But, that's the past now. There's nothing I can do to change that. There's nothing I can really do to control the future. I need to really look at where I am going and where I want to go. I would have preferred to have had you as my co-driver but events tore that away from us. You want to get on your feet, stand strong. I would have been happy working beside you to improve our lives, together as a team. Things didn't work out that way. I suppose we have changed from the kids that bumped into each other 10 years ago. So I guess I have to work on this alone. I guess I just have to let go.

Trying to stay sane thinking just on the memories we shared is like trying to stay warm on the embers of a dead fire.

I hope the best for you love. I really do.

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>>18525863
My feefees

>>18525863
Fuck, so much like my ex.

>>18525863
>I suppose we have changed from the kids that bumped into each other 10 years ago
yeah, so talk to me ffs.

>>18525932
I think i have done more than enough talking. I have reached out far more than I should have. I have been still talking to this person. So really, if they should be here they will know when I finally stop responding. The conversations were sadly all one sided now.

I have been delaying what I should have done years ago. Be it walk or repair. But I was too weak to leave, and too stupid to see the joy you brought into my life.

>>18525973
Don't assume things, just outright tell them.

>>18525984
I have spoken enough. Trust me.
I have to let go. If not for her to continue working on herself, at least for my sanity.

If this person wants to reach me. They know exactly how. If they do, we can talk. I will more than willing to do so. If not, then forward I will continue myself.
>>18526019
2/2

>>18526019
You have spoken, but did you outright say those words? Like I said, assumptions are the source of many problems. If you have, then fair enough.

How can any of you watch the Leftovers and not fucking cry like I am?

I've been such a shitty brother/gecko

"the demon that wanted peace." that's what a girl toward the end of me acting that way called me. I tried so hard to not tear her life apart but just by being around, I did it. there is a reason I don't play games. I will get everything I want, but I will destroy everything around me. stop prodding.

Aw fuck guys
I know I just mentioned "The Leftovers"
But I'm dying here.

This thread is supposed to be "getting it off your chest"
So I am.
Watching this show is making me feel things.
It's reminding me of every mistake I ever made.
It's forcing me to look at my fucking self.
And can you guess how I feel about that?
Yeah, I thought so. Not very good.

You know, having a girlfriend -> wife -> family would be incredibly wonderful, but:
1. I ain't got time nor money to take a girl out for dinner
2. I have classes/tests/research/etc to study for. I REALLY don't have time for that.
3. "Guys should take the initiative". lol, sure, 20 years ago this was the rule, but it's 2017 and I don't have time to go and find (or stumble upon) someone I find attractive enough AND get to know them. That, and/or I'm just afraid. Definitely at least maybe the latter.
4. I'm still not convinced I'm going to even live to my 40th birthday, for one reason or another (top probability: suicide, of course. Maybe by gun)

Fuck it, I think I'd rather literally work myself to death than deal with finding a partner. And I don't even have a fucking career yet. By the time I get my doctorate, if I'm lucky, I'll have ~9 years before 40.

Even if I do manage not dying, I know that I can convince/delude myself into thinking I'm not miserable. I have done it before with less to work with, I can do it again for longer with more resources.

This might seem super naive and beta but how do I start a conversation with a girl that I matched with on Tinder? She seems super sweet and maybe has a sense of humor but that's all pretty hard to tell just from a few pics and a short bio. I can talk to people easily, I just have the hardest time opening the conversation. How should I start?

>>18526273
Jokes are a good ice breaker

Today's the day. So long suckers.

>>18526401
Don't do it nigger nugget

lol. people that don't get into this sort of stuff are funny when they're online doing stuff and they're like "I'm not gonna show you this stuff cause doxing" and it's like... I had all I'd need to find out where you are like a minute into this.

most people though that are worried, have nothing to worry about really. I just find it cute for some reason.

>gasp I can't show that you'll dox me
>lol if you were someone that I needed to dox it'd already be done.

but I really like you guys and I think so do most people in general. if anyone found you it'd just be like over the top fans that would be annoying at the most.

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I think I'm going to start looking at romance as "bonus" rather than end point whenever I get to know a girl. For one, its not really fair to her, but also I think it will be much healthier for me. You get stuck in a mindset of "win or lose" when you only pursue someone for romance, and when you "lose" its easy to assume you are the one at fault for losing.

So instead, I'm going to earnestly want to know more about people. When I ask for someone's phone number, it will be because I want to know more about who they are, not as the next step to getting a girlfriend. When I ask them out on a date, it will be a learning experience rather than getting "lucky". Then afterwards, perhaps after having a really good time with them and being able to really form a special bond with them, we can go exclusive and go from there.